BUSINESS & LIFE: Let the Good Things Define You

I have not issued an article for about three weeks.  My Little Nathan returned home after his summer vacation.  The first week, I was too excited preparing for his return, the second week was enjoying his return and doing all the things he wanted like making ice pops, going to the beach, cooking his favourite things, baking cookies and the third week was getting ready and acclimatising to school and a new class.  I also celebrated another year giving thanks. It was a weekend of celebrations as my staff, family and friends went all out demonstrating how well loved I am!  I am back again!!!

Before I delve in the topic of the day, I take this opportunity to invite you to a presentation on “Influential and Effective Communication,” and the Book Launch of “The Pin Drop Principle,” by David Lewis and Gary Mills, co-founders of Pinnacle Performance Company based in the US, at the Garraway Hotel on Wednesday, September 24, 2014 at 7pm.  See you there!!!  Tune in to “The Cutting Edge of Business,” on Tuesday, September 23, 2014at 8:30pm on Marpin, Channel 5 to “meet” David and Gary before Wednesday evening!

At VF Inc.’s inaugural Family Symposium on August 31, 2014, ASP Claude Weekes, in his presentation on the topic, “Our Family, Our Home, Our Brand,” shared some of his childhood experiences and was candid about his family life.  One of the sentences, which struck a chord, “Let the good things define you,” is the topic of today.  This sentence is powerful for it beckons and challenges us to focus on the good and use this to propel us to act and become.  It also demands that we take responsibility and ownership for our actions and not adopt a victim mentality, holding others fully responsible for the negative outcomes of our lives.

ASP Weekes spoke about the challenges growing up with a mentally challenged mother, not knowing his father, being a “child of the State,” dependent on the Welfare department, subject to bullying and taunting by children as well as adults, being humiliated by those in authority including the principal of his secondary school.  The cumulative effect of all of this could have been an angry, misdirected individual subject to a life of crime and ending up in the state penitentiary.  He however chose to focus on the good of his childhood: the love of his mother, the kindness of neighbours, teachers who saw his potential and believed in him and his dreams of his future. There is still anger at society that chooses to label children and others based on their circumstances, however that anger is directed at making a positive difference in the lives of others and in giving them hope.  He chose to focus and allow the good things to define him.

This lesson is applicable in all areas of our lives: home, church, school and work.  It is easier to dwell on the negatives.  It is easier to hold on to a grudge.  It is easier to be angry and blame others for our failings and shortcomings.  It is easier to wait on others to make the first move.  It is easier to not address the issues that are confronting us.  It is easier, however, easier does not necessarily been better.  Easier does not mean growth and development.  Easier does not mean peace and contentment.  Easier does not mean fulfilment.

It calls us to acknowledge what is not working and what is causing us pain.  It demands that we confront our past and pain and forces us to find solutions.  It forces us to forgive, to look for the good and use that good to transform our lives.  It forces us to hold ourselves to account, to create the future we want.  It forces us to recognise and accept “easier,” is not an option for us.

If “easier is not an option,” how then are we to create the future we want and transform our lives?  How do we look for the good and forgive?  How do we let go of our anger or direct our anger positively?  How do we move on?  Why must we not take the easier route

I start by answering the last question first:  Easier is not an option because it means we won’t fulfil our God-given purpose, and this is one of our key responsibilities.  The answer to the other questions, in my view, begins with a heart and attitude of thankfulness, for when we are thankful we look for and find the good in all situations.   When we are wronged, if we have a heart or attitude of thankfulness, we look for the good in the person or the good they may have done for us, and we let the good cover the bad, forgive, if needed open a dialogue and let it go.   Sometimes, it is not possible to let go and move on, until a conversation has been kept.  If this is what is needed to be able to move on, initiate contact and ask for the conversation.  One may have to meet in a neutral place or sometimes in the presence of others to have the conversation.  In that conversation, be clear it is not about assigning blame but about stating how you feel and what action you require of the person.  However, do not allow the person’s response determine whether you forgive and move on.  Be thankful, you had the opportunity to say how you felt or initiated contact, if the person refused to even meet.

In all situations, focus on the lessons.  If you have/had a terrible colleague or supervisor/manager, instead of focussing on how terrible the person is, focus on what you are learning about management, leadership and relationship management.  If you have poor relationship focus on what you are learning about the building blocks of effective relationships.   If you are going through or went through a difficult time: financially, emotionally or spiritually, focus on what you learnt about financial prudence, self worth and faith, respectively.

In essence, in letting our good define us, we must be mindful of our thoughts, our actions, our habits and character, as in the words of the famous motivational poster:

“Watch your thoughts for they become your words;

Watch your words for they become your actions;

Watch your actions for they become your habits;

Watch your habits for they become your character;

Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.”

I can be contacted at [email protected] or Tel: 767 449 9649.

Until we meet again, may the Lord continue to Keep us in the Palm of His Hands.