Dear Bella: I am a 26-year-old young woman who is scared of giving my heart to a man.
I date men, I get to love them, but whenever the feelings are getting too deep and advance deeper into love I do something to push them away.
I was once in love with a guy and he broke my heart. Therefore I don’t want to fall in love and the same thing happens again. Deep down in my heart I want to fall in love with someone but I am scared. Another thing is I live in New York and want a guy from Dominica. I am getting older and do not want to be alone.
Scared of loneliness.
Dear Scared of loneliness,
Trust is the most critical and important factor in any relationship, and when trust has been broken it’s very difficult to find anyone loyal again. However, not everyone is the same and you need to stop telling yourself that every man is out to hurt you.
While you should be cautious about who open up to because some men can really put on a show, you need to explore the possibilities of being happy again with a companion.
I think your chances of finding a Dominica man are not slim, since there are many Dominicans in New York- especially living in the Brooklyn and Bronx boroughs. There are usually many Dominican parties and Caribbean events you can attend to meet someone of your nationality or I’m sure you have Dominican friends who can t hook you up with someone. Bear in mind, not because the man is Dominican he is guaranteed to treat you right, nevertheless that’s your preference and you know what works for you. Stop feeling scare of being lonely and take a proactive approach to fill that void in your life.
Bella.
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published everyday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
The men who gave me the best treatment were my own Dominican men….I love you guys and you will always be first in my heart…..
y is not that u are scared is that u dont want to be hurt darling. check me out and we go talk.
if you keep thinking that all man will do the same to you there is no way that you will ever get far in a relationship. you need to let go of the past and start a new path. you need to tell yourself i am strong and whatever happens i know i can deal with it. put yourself out there and trust me you will find the right person.
@Wowo: Thank you very much for the advice.
@day: This is from Scared of Loneliness. It really does not matter where he is from. As you said men are men. I am just looking for someone who has great qualities/personalities. Sense of humor, honesty, trustworthy etc. However if he is from Dominica i would love it.
me to i well fraid.i am 24 and my boyfriend is 44.he has two grown children in st marten and he visit them well often.sometimes the children mother call the house and ask for him (but she has never disrespect me ,she always say good morning or good nite before asking for him )last year they came home for the summer and i had to leave the house .he also spend too much time with them
@chance woman: Was patiently waiting on someone to make that comment. Thanks.
I could not leave without commenting on this letter. Good one Chance Woman and Cindy too! So many times, the majority of us women and yes, some men as well spend so many years wasted LOOKING for love. Yes I said wasted, because you have to understand that we have a GOD-DEEP VOID and not a MAN- or WOMAN-DEEP VOID, every human being. We were not created to be alone that is why we constantly yearn for companionship and a sense of belonging and of course, love. However, only the Lord is able to 100% gurantee satisfaction in those areas, only the relationship with HIM is able to quench us. To this young lady, you are apparently suffering from loneliness and until you face that battle with God, then no man and I mean from any nationality, age group etc. will ever satisfy your craving. We are meant to put God-Jesus-Holy Spirit first, then, once we learn how to love HIM we will find that love just comes along the way and we don’t have to LOOK for anything from anyone because we are already fulfilled. That special one will end up being a blessing from GOD because of our faithfulness to letting HIM FILL US. A man or a woman is just an addition, a complement, because only in the Lord Jesus Christ are we fulfilled sweetheart. I know what I’m talking about and my lonely days are long gone. All the best.
Wowo
Being from a county has nothing to do with character or how a man treats a woman. Dominican or not men will always be men. There are some good ones and some that are not so good and are not ready for relationship. Find a man that is ready to settle, not one that is still in the game stage of his life. Good luck and don’t write of a man just because he is not from your Island. There are good men from every part of the world. If a man love you and you would like to go back home for a while he may follow you.
What boy, look people tryin an hook up on DNO there we!….honeyman pressing hard boy. Scared of Loneliness you better give honeyman a date. I should put my personal specs on DNO man….but I fraid I get a dyab-en-sac or a pas-jeh-belle! Lol!
@Honeyman: if it is one thing i am aware of is a love connection cannot happen over night.
@iscared of loneliness: It`s ok with me if you choose to meet me alone. The reason i said to bring your friends is to create a more social setting rather than a possible love connection. That cannot happen over night. I hope that answer your question. You are in my prayers.
Goodnight miss. 27 year old Kelvin Paul. I am interested in getting to know u better but not necessarily relation wise. Link me up on msn on facebook or something. By the way not because u leave in new york u got to find a dominican in new york. U can pick one in dominica. Too bad i am in venezuela. Lol. I know about the pains of the heart because i have been there and finding the right person is not easy. I that God that i have had very good wemen in my life. I am single because none of them could tame my wildness. That person that does that i will give all of me. What means happiness to u? What do u want to achieve in a relationship? No one wants to be lonely. When entering a relationship play games make it fun. Test the person to see how they would react to certain situations. Take it slow and be hard to get even if u feel the love. All the best. BD
@CB CUZ: u talking nonsense
CB CUZ u talking nonsense
@Honeyman: Why do u want me to bring all my friends with me?
I will take a little of each of your advice. Thank you so very much. Bella said to go out to parties around, but i don’t like partying unfortunately. Handsome Hedo, what would you love to tell me. I am seriously looking for a long life commitment.
The name speaks for itself, check me out i will provided you with the real love but we cannot hook up on D.N.O. Give a nutral adress or some independant hook up give at least a general area where you can meet me bring along as many friends as you like and we will take it from there. Looking forward to hearing from you. Peace and love from a christian loving heart.
Pray to the Lord, ask him to send you a husband. Expect great things, but be prepared for anything, including the worst, because the Lord does not answer all prayers. Unfortunately some women never find a man, farless for a good one, sad but true.
I have to agree with CB CUZ, 9 out of 10 Dominican single men are no good. Men lie, women lie, but the numbers don’t lie, leave the DA men alone. I’m talking from experience here.
@CB cuz….
I am on your side and I too KNOW what i am talking about. Dominican men in New York particularly the married ones…. jeez, i don’t even want to start on here coz I do not only know… I have evidence. They say Dominicans like to talk, thank God for that because a lot of us women would be suffering more not knowing that it is our close friend who is screwing our husbands and boyfriends. Those who think you are exempt, think again. Your hubby may be in my neighbor’s backyard at a bbq with his other girl but you won’t know that if i don’t tell you, would you?
Scared of Loneliness, Girl, let down your walls a bit, not your prinicples but your walls and find someone nice. Give them a chance but NOT a Dominican guy, remember i told you that. Blessings sweetheart.
@CB CUZ…… Oh please, stop trashing your own people. Not all Dominican guys are the same. In every culture there are both good and bad and I know there are very good men in Dominica because my husband and myself are Dominicans. I couldn’t ask for more.
Sure I was in a relationship with another guy before meeting my husband. He is from Dominica, we broke up but that did not give me any reason to go around trashing every man from Dominica. I prayed and God sent me someone who treats me well. And, I’m so thankful for him everyday.
My dear ‘SCARED OF LONELINESS” Place your trust in the Lord and ask him to send you someone who will love you for who you are and you will love for who he is and he will send him to you.
AMEN chance woman. AAMMEENN!
@CB CUZ: Honestly I would let you have it but I’m too “gentleman” for that. We are not all pigs/dogs. Gosh man. That’s exactly what is going to happen in the reverse, we will want good women but when we the “good” ones get fedup of all you labeling us as dogs we will eventually turn on all you. I haven’t turned yet but they way all you going…give me 5years. I’m only 30.
@Handsome Hedo: You want to break the girl heart again?
my dear young lady ,i think i can say something on this cause i was once in this situation
and i can safely say to you the best love u can get s from JESUS . IF MEN BREAK UR HEART think of it they do that all the time but i have great news there is someone who is waiting to love u and doesn’t want u to ever be heart broken just find him his name is JESUS love can never done
happinest u will never run out of and heart breaks u will NOT HAVE .love jesus make him ur way of life and u will find true happiness he will guide u
post ure fb or your twitter …lemme holla at u for a minute
girl find a guy from any other country but dominica if you dont want your heart to be broken again because i can tell you the dominican guy wont only break your heart but he will smash it and then feed it to the birds so if you want to fall in love and you want a dominican guy then i must tell you you a looking for trouble…..yea i said it and waiting for all you to chew me out cause you all know i am talking the truth……waiting hahaha