Dear Bella: My husband has become very abusive to me and my children after I got to know about his affair.

He calls me and my kids names; he no longer respects me infront the kids.The woman call my house and my husband say there is nothing wrong when she calls. I heard he bought her a house. Now that I heard she has AIDS I am afraid that my kids and I may be at risk. I took an AIDS test after I heard about the affair; after that I have not had sex with him again.

I do not know where to go from here. I am a 49-year-old woman in a 30-year-old marriage with four kids. This was the only man I ever loved. What should I do? Why do women cheat with married men and want the men to leave their wives for them? This woman already has four bastards for four different fathers, and none of them take responsible for their children, but she wants my husband to leave his and feed hers.

Dear Miss,

It seems that you have been trying to make your marriage work even after learning your husband had an affair; however if you do  not feel loved and he is mistreating and abusing you I suggest you consider a separation. It is not mentally and physically healthy for you at this point to go through this difficulty if your husband is not admitting his wrong and meeting you half way to make things work. I do not encourage you to go explore another relationship if you should resort to divorce because in God’s eyes until death you’re still married.

Also do not let him entice you into having sexual relations with him until you get the results of the AIDS test. As for this other misguided woman there are many more like her with this nature; regardless if their actions are destroying a happy home they will still do it for their selfish desire.

You have come a long way in your many years of marriage and your four kids – focus on rearing your goods into positive people and do not bad talk their father in their midst. If you truly want your relationship to work you must sit with your husband and express yourself to him and recommend that you go on therapy as a couple or a weekend together to get things back on track.

Bella.

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