Dear BellaDear Bella,

I am in love with someone else’s husband. I know it’s not the right thing to do. He doesn’t know that I feel this way about him. He treats me with respect and like a friend but all I can think about is him, especially at nights.

I cry sometimes when I think he is in bed with his wife. It breaks my heart when I see them at church on Sundays, it makes me feel so sad because they look so happy.

I always wanted him and hoped that he would realize that but then he got married and I realized there was no hope for us. I don’t want to get any husband because I’m hoping that something would happen and he would be available to me. Like, if his wife divorces him or if she passed or something.

I just want to be available in case he is a free man.

Am I wrong to take these measures?

Hopeful

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Dear Hopeful,

You would have wasted all your years waiting for a man who was not set out for you from the foundation of the world.

My advice to you is to find someone and enjoy what’s left in this life for you.

If this man did not marry you when he was single, why would you even envisage that he would give you a second though whether he is divorced separated or a widower?

You need to come to realize that God will not give you someone else’s husband. Save yourself the discomfort and drama and leave the “happily married” couple alone.

Why would you even want to interfere with someone else’s happiness anyway? You are putting yourself up for a lot of trouble both spiritually and mentally.

My advice to you is that you let it go.

Best
Bella

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