Dear BellaDear Bella,

This is the first time I am writing, please do not show my name.

For some years I have been dating this guy who I am madly in love with. I knew he was married but I didn’t care and he didn’t care either.

Last year I got pregnant and he was there for me during the whole pregnancy.

I wanted him to tell his wife, so we could be together but he kept it a secret from her. I went to his wife’s workplace myself to tell her I am pregnant. I was seven months pregnant at that time and her coworkers held her back from fighting with me. I did not know why she was mad at me and not her husband.

He then moved in with me for a couple of months and the baby was born but his wife took him back just to take revenge against me.

He promised her never to touch me again and take care of his child but we were still seeing each other and sleeping together.

Now some months ago, he was sentenced to three years in prison. I don’t have no father to take care of the baby. So I thought that since his wife wanted to stay married to him, then it is her responsibility to support the baby while he is away.

She is acting ignorant but she is forgetting that she is his wife and it is her responsibility to support the child while he is away.

I am currently taking her to court for child support. I gave her the responsibility to co-parent and just help me but I cannot deal with her attitude.

Now, this is going to court.

Am I doing the right thing?

I want your opinion.



Dear Lost,

You are simply brazen.

First things first. Did you not care whether he was married? Why do now care about all the issues that have now been tagged to your affair?

Secondly, a man’s wife cannot take him back. She has all the right in the world to be with her husband.

Thirdly, you still speak like what you’ve done was right and this obstinate attitude is scary. I am not even going to address the fact that you went to this woman’s workplace. I think you were trying to sabotage the marriage but the tables have now turned on you.

And now to claim for child support from the woman is not only outrageous but totally dreadful.

Furthermore, to add insult to injury you are now taking the woman to court and she must pay for a crime that you and her husband committed.

If you want my advice -which is what you are seeking- I suggest you leave this woman alone and take care of your child until daddy is released from jail.
I think this wife endured enough by just having to deal with this entire situation.


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