DEAR BELLA: I am taking ‘hush money’ to hide my sister’s cheating husband

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I am a terrible person. I found myself in a situation where I am hurting my sister and I don’t know how to fix it.

I found out her husband was cheating.

In fact, I caught him with another woman at a restaurant on the outskirts of Roseau. He begged me not to tell my sister for fear of destroying their marriage.

I jokingly told him “pay me” and he said “ok”.

Anyway, Bella he gave me $1,000 hush money. I never told my sister. Then a month ago she called with tears saying her husband is cheating because he came home smelling of another woman’s perfume.

I knew he was being unfaithful but I told her don’t think about that and be happy.

She asked me to speak to her husband about her concerns and when I did and told him to stop he offered me more money. I took it. This time, $2,500.

And this has been going on for months. He’s been giving me this hush money almost 11 months now and I feel like I am stuck because my sister is hurting and the one person who knows the truth is aiding and abetting in the situation.

Stuck

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Stuck,

The first line of your statement is perhaps the only appealing part of your ordeal. You are in fact a terrible person. Frankly, I think your sister should divorce her husband and let you have him, since it appears that you both should be placed under the same umbrella.

If you want to make things right you need to let your sister know her husband is cheating and that you have been accepting money from him.

You should also need to take a decision and commit to repaying every cent that this man has given you.

Your sister may not trust you again. Your relationship could be ruined forever.

She may divorce her husband and her family could be in shambles.

This entire situation could blow up into a nasty ordeal that will leave people with scars that may be hard to heal.

Best
Bella

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67 Comments

  1. Prolific
    June 9, 2017

    Mr. Hill my advise to you is stay away. The people don’t sound real. The person receiving the money is doing as bad as the husband himself. The so call husband is just spreading germs. You say to that husband, I give you one month to end that cheating,otherwise,i will have to relate to my sister everything I know and see. Blackmailer

  2. piper
    June 9, 2017

    Bella, you are just full of . STUCK, I like your vibes. First of all, if your sister, brother or friend is cheating and you are the one who knows the truth. There is absolutely nothing you can do or should do. The day you decide to open your mouth is the day you get blamed for everything and then you get accused of sleeping with the person to or planning the events.

    That money i sure came in real handy… I guess by now as the story hit DNO every married women is going to ask their sister if is them that is stuck…

    Just denie

  3. Joel Murray
    June 8, 2017

    Bella change your name to LMN :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  4. LOOK COMMESS
    June 8, 2017

    @THE-ONE…Eh Beh Look Koshonie…There are two sides to a story. Now look mouth open tory jump out.

  5. June 8, 2017

    Take de money, and share with your sister, but don’t get no Aids , tell her and make sure he wear a condom while you doing him to. .Bambo clat .

  6. UDOHREADYET
    June 7, 2017

    STUPID TAX:

    the only terrible thing about you is your stupidity!

    you’re keeping the right secret from the wrong person

    The man has already cheated, nothing can change that, he continues to do so, you cannot change that… not your business

    Explain the situation to your sister, if she has half a brain she will let him pay you the $2500 every month and share the money, after she has enough in the bank, by that time she can decide to stay or go its her business , her marriage not your business.

  7. Lang Mama
    June 7, 2017

    That husband must be selling passports or diplomatic immunity? That is one expensive side piece of saltfish not counting the money he spend just to wine and dine the saltfish.

  8. Shameless
    June 7, 2017

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhh……girl take the money and hush your darn mouth. What the eye don’t see the heart can’t hurt so put you BIG mouth in a corner and SHUT UP 8) .

    How you know is not the man good friend or his Nenen godchild? It may actually be best friend girlfriend he is entertaining because the best friend is away on vacation with his wifey. Stapes’s man! 8)

    Assertive like Moses’ rod! :twisted:

  9. mine
    June 7, 2017

    I would take the money give it to my sister and tell her why am giving her the money. Something similar happened to me in a case where my sister told that my best friend was slepping with her husband. I told her that a lie because she should know if she hurt you she hurt me too, I confronted my friend on this mess she said she would never do such a thing. Where there is a smoke there is a fire shes not my best friend anymore because I don’t think she was telling the truth.

  10. The One
    June 7, 2017

    Hi everyone

    I am the one the post is about. Unless there are many men like me. Is not so the story go. She kept coming to me saying she would tell my wife if i did’t give her more money. She always had a story. Want to do hair. Need money for groceries and when I told her no she said things like “Think before you say no” and her favorite “I wonder what my sister would do if she knew”. I am the victim here. Me…I made a mistake and I cheated but I love my wife. I compounded the mistake by giving her sister money. Now it is me who feels trapped. I need to just tell my wife and end the bribery act. She is a sick woman that sister…devil in disguise!!!

    • Dominican
      June 8, 2017

      WOWWWW!!! Is this for real or is somebody just messing around? Sounds dangerous but if is true husband tell your wife and face the consequences, its better than to live with a sister like this

    • lasspalay
      June 8, 2017

      AA. The drama unfolds. You all deserve what you both get.

    • DA girl
      June 9, 2017

      If this is truly about you then I suggest you come forward with the truth to your wife immediately. It will be hard but face your music. It’s better than the alternative. Cause if the sister truly spinning this story then there is so much more damage to be done, especially if she suspects you gonna confess to your wife.

  11. Ralph
    June 7, 2017

    We all make mistakes. Maybe she needed the money. I would take the money and tell my sister. But then again the man might kill me

  12. Unknown
    June 7, 2017

    Have a heart like really that’s yr sister we Jah boy it’s even worst than his cheating cause u helping d situation to go on smfh

  13. Hugh .G. Recshun
    June 7, 2017

    ahhhhh Best you take a tolly too wi if you taking the man hush money. You are already a co-conspirator.

  14. lasspalay
    June 7, 2017

    AA look my sister send me the link for this and say sorry! Look is there I die! Hahahaha (JOKING)

  15. June 7, 2017

    Stuck, sooner or later your sister will find out. No question. It will be bad no matter what. No question. But forgiveness only comes to those who are sorry and ask for it, so it will be much worse in the long run if you’re not the one who voluntarily comes clean. Do it now, today, while you still have this last opportunity to show your sister that she may ever eventually be able to trust you again. And sincere good luck to you in returning to the right path — you can do it.

  16. passqueen
    June 7, 2017

    i think you the one sleeping with your sisters husband and now you a guilty like hell they you will get caught

  17. aseettacoshoniijustread
    June 7, 2017

    Bella,
    you’re as fake and messy as they come…these made up stories are getting more lame every week.to some its believable cuz they gullible but catch me outside with some real life stories will you??

    • %
      June 8, 2017

      I am on your side.Real fake stories!

    • Jaycees
      June 8, 2017

      Is it beyond the realm of possibility to think something like this may be going on right here in little Dominica?

      Believe you me, this country is PREGNANT with secrets!

  18. STUCK:

    For your own good I ask you to stop taking money from this man.

    You could be moving into a dangerous situation. Men have been known to murder people who were blackmailing them especially if it involves a lot of money.

    Do not report him to his wife. Pay him back what you have taken if you are able.

    At least one more time try to reason with him. Earnestly entreat him to stop seeing the other woman .

    The reason I advise not to tell his wife is this. (a) It could break up their marriage. (b) It could break up their family if they have one. (c) Sometimes a man will realize his mistake and change his ways or the other woman will back out of the \”relationship\” without any intervention. (d) The affair may get exposed by somebody else without you getting involved. If this happens you will free to comfort your sister.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

    • June 7, 2017

      Your advice to this woman to continue deceiving her sister is reprehensible and sullies you as a pastor. If the marriage ends it won’t be because of honesty, it will be because of dishonesty. You need to have more faith that the right thing to do is indeed the right thing to do.

      • Hugh .G. Recshun
        June 7, 2017

        This so called man isnt a real man of God. He is no better than those wolves in sheeps clothing using religion a means of control and manipulation. Rev Donald Hill you continue to be a troll and a farce in my eyes. and until you can come to Dominica for your first time ever i implore

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 3
      • No One
        June 8, 2017

        A lie of omission is still a lie \”pastor\”

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
    • Dominican
      June 7, 2017

      A PASTOR asking a person to lie? Wow is this new age pastoring? Well we finish :(

      • Where did I ask a person to lie :?:

        This is a serious charge. I could (but would not) take you to court for this.

        It should be understood that I am an ordained minister in the largest and fastest growing evangelical denomination in Canada and in addition to this I hold a Pastoral Counselor Certificate. If I counselled anybody to lie I could lose both these credentials and rightly so.

        What I did was advise Stuck NOT to say anything about what she saw or heard to her sister and then gave her reasons for keeping silent. I did not give any advice for the husband to lie to his wife. If she asked him the proper thing would be for him to be totally honest and confess his wrong doing.

        The Word of God (the Bible) admonishes us not to gossip. Where in the Bible does it say Stuck should tattle on her brother-in-law or rat him out? One must consider the damage this could do to his marriage and family (if he has a family).

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 9
      • June 9, 2017

        It should be understood that whatever your credentials may be, your advice was ungodly, not to mention ineffective. Same thing with impotent threats to file lawsuits against those who say things you dislike. This malignant behaviour is not in Jesus’s name.

        And speaking of credentials, we can see that you claim to hold a Doctor of Divinity degree without ever explaining where you actually earned it.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
    • mine
      June 7, 2017

      This man I dont know what kind of pastor he is from day one.

    • Customer Police
      June 8, 2017

      You are worst than the cheater, totally Irreverent Mr. Hill. I hope Bella gives you her own direct reprimand also.

      I can only imagine what sort of immorality you perform and condone in your congregation. Where in the scriptures did you see that any of the prophets or Jesus Christ would counsel someone like this? Please answer me.

    • budman
      June 8, 2017

      i always knew you were a fraud Donald Hill. you always said things to bring you to the brink but you finally crossed the line today.

      • Budman:

        I am a fraud? You have no idea how serious it is to say this about a duly ordained minister in my country. Thousands of people across Canada and in other nations would tell you I am as genuine as the maple leaf and my ministry is as solid as a rock.

        You are not the only one who has lashed out against me this week in DNO. I suspect most of the attacks had nothing with BELLA or my reply to Stuck. They come from people who are ventilating their pent up hate because of how I have addressed moral issues with the truth of
        the Word of God. But calling me a fraud? I am surprised you got this past the DNO ADMIN.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 7
    • Boggled
      June 8, 2017

      hahahaha wow this is really a pastor saying this Sh ??? wth latter days are already upon oh lord. Revelations of false tongues :lol: :lol: :lol:

      • Boggled:

        Pleeese :!:

        You comment is nonsense. Not only does it have bad content. It is an example of the illiterate low life that opposes my work when I bring the facts to bear upon the moral issues of the day.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 0 Thumb down 8
      • June 9, 2017

        Apparently “illiterate low life” is now a pastoral way to refer to another human being? Awa!

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  19. EHBEH
    June 7, 2017

    It still have bad family on earth like that nuh? Lady come on….your sister? Ah Magway Cah.

  20. TINA
    June 7, 2017

    Bella Cousin

    We are all terrible, despicable people. None of us are worthy of this life but thank God for the cross for it can make us flawless. So Yes i agree with your second statement. She should come clean pay back the money and pray to God that her sister forgives her.

  21. June 7, 2017

    Next time take talk money instead of hush money.

  22. Jessie
    June 7, 2017

    :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
    yes Right she maybe is the one that is the side chick, Bad sister…

  23. Peace
    June 7, 2017

    Dear Stuck,

    Contrary to what Bella said, you are not a terrible person. You just did a terrible thing. The good part of all this is that you sound remorseful. You need to come clean with your sister and find a way to pay back the money. More than likely, the relationship between the two of you will be damaged because of this but there are consequences to all actions. The best you can do is begin to make amends and perhaps in time she will forgive you. Good luck!

    Bella Cousin

  24. June 7, 2017

    Bella,

    You have not given this young lady any positive advice to her situation. All you have done is judged her and give your opinion and assumptions on the matter. People don’t write to you to be judged. They write to you to get advice.

    Stuck,

    At the end of the day, we are all human beings – yourself, your sister and your sister’s husband.

    Remember the truth sets you free. If you have a gulity conscience and you really want to tell your sister, yoyou should. Be clean and honest about it.

    Tell her you have something to tell her and let her know you saw them and that you took money from the guy! Everyone make mistakes.

    • Customer Police
      June 8, 2017

      Well balanced response, Hmmmm. I think you should apply for Bella’s role.

      DNO ADMIN, please find someone more emotionally and spiritually mature, tactful and articulate to take on this important role. Otherwise, stop this Bella column as you are making a disservice to human beings who come to you for honest advice, and they get broken down with such ghetto reasoning. Its good to be opinionated and blunt, especially when being truthful, but I think sometimes Bella is way off base in terms of addressing the issue in a constructive way.

  25. Andra
    June 7, 2017

    Aye no….the first line of the reply alone knocked me out!!! ….i love the new Bella…blunt!!! Some people like things watered down. Its a rough world. Take that!!!

  26. Henry
    June 7, 2017

    D/CAN in BKLYN

    Are you retarded? The woman never asked for advice about the husband. She asked advice about herself. And where does coounselling come into the equation? Nobody knows if the wife will ever know about her husband cheating ways. The sister was simply asking how to move forward. I agree with Bella. She stayed in her lane. On the other hand you sound like a cheater. Any man who cheats on his wife and viseversa can get a divorce if they so desire. Maybe if every man who cheats were left alone then perhaps having extra marital relationships will become a thing of the past.

    • The Darkness
      June 7, 2017

      Then you are retarded to think that way…

      A man does not require emotion to cheat, so leaving them alone because they cheat won’t ever change their ways. There is something causing the cheating… Find that and then you can make your choice on the matter.

      • Last two lines….

        This is a good point.

        This is why counselling cannot be properly done on T.V., the Internet, or in a newspaper.

        Bella (whoever she or he is) does not claim to be counselling. She (or he) is giving friendly (sometimes no so friendly) advice. Much of it is wise and I like it. Anyway what is needed here is
        for this man and his wife to sit down with a pastoral counselor and explore the reasons for the infidelity. A pastoral counselor is a pastor trained in counseling. He is a pastor first and counsels on the basis of the Scriptures not secular psychology. Find one of good reputation who is recommended. He (or she) will help them uncover the causes of the unfaithfulness and work with them to build on that. It takes time but it is time well invested.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 4
  27. Have mercy on us
    June 7, 2017

    Soon he will be eating that cookie of yours, if he is not already doing so.You will be demanding five gran for him to eat your cookie since you have got accustomed to the taste of big money.

    • Peace
      June 7, 2017

      I missed the part where stuck identified their gender. How are you so sure it’s a woman? I actually thought it was a man … hence the sister’s plea to talk to him for me.

      • The Darkness
        June 7, 2017

        Would a man write in that pattern?

        The way the writer’s words resounded, had more of a feminine approach.

        Women are currently more known to be the ones blackmailing in that regard… so yes, its female until proven otherwise.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1
      • dhestini
        June 7, 2017

        i also missed the part where it said it wasnt a woman. i mean does it really matter what the gender is? i swear y’all focus on the wrong set of things. he/she brother/sister really doesn’t matter. bottom line is there’s a SIBLING accepting money from THEIR sister’s husband to cover up infidelity. now share your take on that

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
  28. DA girl
    June 7, 2017

    Your sister??!!! Shame on you! I don’t judge lest I be judged because I am certainly not perfect. But to stab your own sister like that is a damn shame. Bella is right. She need to divorce her husband and give him to you because you both disgusting. Husbands and wives come and go but your family is your family…and your siblings are your closest blood relatives outside your parents. That relationship will NEVER be the same. She may forgive you one day but she will never forget and will never see you the same way and will never trust you again. I certainly wouldn’t.

    I mean i understand you may be afraid to tell her about her husband because it will hurt her but to take money from him to cover up?! Man I cannot get over that!

    • budman
      June 8, 2017

      you say you don’t judge but then proceed to judge in the rest of your post.

    • June 10, 2017

      When man gets married he leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife or at least he is suppose to.
      The same principle applies to a woman. The natural birth family should always be loved and appreciated but
      when one gets married the birth family takes second place to the spouse and whatever new family comes from the union. Please read Matthew 19:4-6.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill , Evangelist. (Pastoral Counsellor Certificate)

  29. Dohcareadam
    June 7, 2017

    :lol: What a story, huh? Anyway Stuck forget Bella’s advice. Here’s some better advise.
    Girl take de money an run. So what if she’s your sister? Whatever her husband doing is not your business to police him for her. Let her do her own investigation, as long as he will to pay you for your silence, get your money tan. We all know things tight in DA.

    On the other hand Just know that by taking de money you might be committing extortion, even if he offered the fact that you took means you probably broke the law, you should talk to a lawyer. And by the way you’re not a terrible person you just made a mistake that you’ll have make up for at some point, someway somehow as these things never remain secret forever.

  30. Dominican passports
    June 7, 2017

    Wish I was in your place, I need a 3.5k right now, try and turn that investment to 5k it’s not your fault people put themselves in these kinds of situations, your sister is a grown women not a little girl. 8-O $$$$

  31. Elephan
    June 7, 2017

    Lmao always a kixx in here.. that woman “Stuck” is a waste of life :mrgreen:

  32. G
    June 7, 2017

    I taking the money and I still telling my sister. Family over everything…

    • DA girl
      June 7, 2017

      Well that money should go to a good divorce lawyer for the sister.

  33. dhestini
    June 7, 2017

    ehhhhh. unless its some politician or something that story is unbelievable. made up. cuz no man wld spend that kind of money just to keep a vagina on d side :lol: :lol: :lol:

    on another note if that’s indeed true, id be ashamed to have a sister like that. don’t have ur sister looking all stupid n risking her health – with the amount of STIs out there – and sanity for some money in ur pocket. it’s not worth it.

    it may not be easy since talking cld ruin ur sister’s marriage or even your relationship with her. its a slippery slope. but if u choose to stay out of it, particularly because of the latter, do that. but don’t accept money to do it. that kind of betrayal cuts deep

  34. D/CAN in BKLYN
    June 7, 2017

    That’s the worst advice I have ever heard, you have not mentioned anything about husband and wife getting counseling to try and save the marriage or anything of that sort, if every couple have to get devoce because one person cheated then there would be no marriages

    • dhestini
      June 7, 2017

      but that has nothing to do with this post tho. the wife is not the one asking for advice so its not bella’s place to give it. the wife’s sister is, and bella responded accordingly. jeezzz. read and understand bruh

      • D/CAN in BKLYN
        June 7, 2017

        Bella should have told the sister to advise her sister and husband to seek counseling

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  35. well well well
    June 7, 2017

    hahahaha girl you just as dirty as your sister husband. If i was your sister i would give you 2 pla cutla in the middle of roseau. come on man! sisters. smh

  36. hhhhhhhhhhhhh
    June 7, 2017

    Boy Bello doh have no face. I agree with you Bella….she is a greedy woman who only sees $$$$$$$. She should have her brother in law – I wonder if is not with her he cheating…hmmm

  37. Grace
    June 7, 2017

    He giving you plenty money eh. lol you screwed all how, if you don’t tell her, in the mist of a nasty divorce he just might. So it is best you come clean. Bella was rough on the one. haha

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