DEAR BELLA: I am tired of living in sin; I want to be married

Dear BellaIt’s been six years since dating my boyfriend and every time I think the man is going to propose to me, it turns out to be nonsense.

Like on my birthday, valentines and Christmas time, every time these days come along, I think ‘well that’s the day.’ But I always get the same chocolates, money and things I don’t exactly need.

What I need is to be married. I am tired of living in sin. I am tired of not being called Mrs. so and so. I am 42, what am I doing with a boyfriend still? I need a family. I kept asking him when he thinks he will pop the question. The man keeps responding which question am I talking about.

Bella, tell me if I should leave mister because the world might end before he marries me and I need to be stable and start my family before my eggs dry up.

I even suspect my eggs are drying up already.

Frustrated girlfriend

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Frustrated girlfriend

I have learned that you cannot force a man into marrying you if he doesn’t want to. I understand your concern because you are surely not getting younger.

If he can ask you what question you are talking about, it’s because clearly marrying you is the furthest thing from his mind. Sometimes when we want something and its not happening, we have to look deeper as to the cause of it.

It’s one thing to want a husband but are you ready? Being called Mrs. So and So and having children are two things but to maintain a marriage, you have to put in work.

If this man isn’t your future husband, and clearly, he isn’t, then you might have to consider your next move.

No woman wants to remain in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship all their lives, although I have seen in many times. Some people are 50 and still having boyfriends and girlfriends.

Don’t feel bad that you want stability. I suggest you find out what’s going on in that boyfriend’s head of yours and if your desires aren’t his, then maybe it’s time to think about moving on.

Best,

Bella

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20 Comments

  1. WTMA
    December 11, 2018

    😂😂😂 But allu good too wi.
    You will get married and still sin one way or the other. Fornication not the worst thing on Earth.
    Take your gifts, love the man, get a child, free up the meditation.

  2. October 23, 2018

    At 42 I would expect u to have ur life together already, and be well establish, but everyone is different. A grown woman like u still have boyfriend? Sis boss up and better ur self. What u fraid of?

  3. Zandoli
    October 23, 2018

    I don’t understand in this day and age, why women leave the decision about marriage totally up to the man to make. If you know what you want, present it to your partner. If the two of you are not on the same wavelength and you see no indication of change, then you have to decide if you will be happy to maintain the status quo.

    Unless there are children in the relationship, it is not that difficult a decision. But as someone mentioned earlier you have to have these types of discussions early so that you do not invest too much into a relationship that will go nowhere.

  4. Shabin
    October 22, 2018

    The only thing that going to change in your relationship is the legal paper my girl… you are running for marriage paper. After you marry him its going to be the same way the only thing change is your name. If her is faithfull to you, helps you to pay bill, buy you gifts girl what again you want….de man surname… really. Also after you get married pple change the treatment you was getting as a GF might even stop, he might all say is my wife she dont need nothing what i buying gift for her for. Now off them day MARRIED MAN CHEATING LIKE HOT BREAD FOR SALE girl… God will send de right man for you.

  5. Shea
    October 22, 2018

    Leave him or dont have sex with him unless you are married to him

  6. Ididittosomeone
    October 22, 2018

    You going and die unmarried if you stay. He doesn’t want to get married to you. He waiting for his Mrs. Right and then just going and live you feeling wrong.

    • smh
      October 23, 2018

      that’s what most of them do…my girl there are enough fishes in the sea..

    • Truth
      October 24, 2018

      Why buy the whole cow if you getting the milk for free?

  7. October 22, 2018

    I was having The same struggles with my husband but understand that men are really stupid ! They need u to connect the dots for them all u need to do is ask him
    How do you feel about us right now ?
    What can we do to spice up our relationship?
    And once in a while wear a fake engagement ring once in a while
    N if u want children that doe have nothing to do with him (when u on top take control)

  8. He not stupid
    October 22, 2018

    Your boyfriend see how bossy you are already.It’s not when you are married you won’t throw your weight around.Typical woman

    • toucarie
      October 23, 2018

      pardner u r 100% right.. :lol: :lol:

  9. Maybe
    October 22, 2018

    Leave him he just a user don’t give him sex

  10. may
    October 22, 2018

    Really Bella? We are our worst enemies. If you just want to be married to be called Mrs so and so then you are in it for the wrong reasons. Before you even first slept with the man there should have been a discussion. What you are looking for in a relationship like love, trust stability, someone who is financially stable, someone who is willing to have a family, etc. If these are not in the cards before committing to be boyfriend and girlfriend then it’s “bye boy!” and you move one. We women need to learn to ask for what we want and want what we get. Stop going into relationships with the notion of well we can change him. He might be husband material for you but you are not wife material for him.

  11. Single 4Life
    October 22, 2018

    “Some people are 50 and still having boyfriends and girlfriends.”

    What wrong about that Bella? Some people know theirself and they know that marriage not for them.

    By your answer you just sending dem woman and go and hustle fellas now. Come out dere!

  12. Man bites dogs
    October 22, 2018

    Hi Bella: Stop beating about the bush, my massage to this woman is simple when your man is ready he will say yes or no to the question you been asking. Another thing marriage doesn’t always guarantee a blessed relationship, and that word living in sin is all crap happiness is the key to love. My wife and I were together for 10years before getting married within that time we were able to buy two houses in London, Dominica and Europe on Thursday 25th the family will be flying to London to catch our ship for a well earned break. So lady don’t push your man I am sure he’ll be there for you good luck.

    • DA Fails
      October 22, 2018

      That’s why you always talking koshone about Dominica sweet, you have two houses in europe? Tell us more traitor/Sellout :roll:

  13. Jonathan Y St Jean
    October 22, 2018

    Well why don’t you propose. You are of the old mindset that the man has to propose and finance the wedding. If you want to be married that badly then be the initiator. Nothing wrong with that and many women are doing this these days. Now shut up and stop blaming

  14. MP's girl
    October 22, 2018

    Don’t play mind games with the man. Just as you have written to Bella, take the time to talk to your man.

  15. Zorrr
    October 22, 2018

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  16. kermit
    October 22, 2018

    Reading that I will never say is a 42 year old I would say is a 25 year old that type that. I hope is not cradle you rocking.

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