Dear BellaDear Bella

I am marrying my sister’s first boyfriend. I knew he was her first love. She was fifteen and they had one of these little boyfriend/girlfriend stories. They both moved on. She has three children by another man and he has several by two other women.

I am saying this to say that after her teenage love affair, they both moved on. He is now 49 and she is 26.

The thing about it is that she isn’t quite happy about our relationship. As a matter of fact, she was angry when she heard we were going out and now that we decided to get married. I am worried that she wouldn’t come to the wedding or be at odds with me forever.

How do you suggest I deal with this situation?

After all these years, I don’t see how she could feel hurt but I feel a bit uncomfortable.



Dear worried

You sister needs to grow up and recite the serenity prayer. You know the prayer that asks the lords help to “accept the things we cannot change, the courage the change the thing we can and the wisdom to know the difference”. I don’t see how your sister could be hurt after almost 35 years.

You didn’t take anything from her so don’t beat up yourself about the situation. If you sister loves you, she will accept your decision and wish the best for you and your partner. She will also attend your wedding and if she isn’t yet married I hope she catches the bouquet. Maybe you can speak to her about because she could probably be still has feelings locked up inside for him.

But I think right now your focus should be on planning your special day. The day in question is between you, your husband to be and God. Give no room to the devil for he will try everything to distract your focus. He hates unions ordained by Christ.

Your sister will get over her situation and even if she doesn’t, feel comforted that you have nothing wrong.

Best of luck


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