DEAR BELLA: I saw my mom’s cheating messages on her phone

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I am a 17-year-old and I lent my mom’s phone to go online.

Then I saw a message show up on her WhatsApp and I read it.

It was a man who she has saved as B.L. I Don’t know who he is but they were having sexual conversations.

I even saw she sent him a pic of herself and making general statements like “It was good indeed” and there was another one which says, “what hubby don’t know, won’t kill him”.

Now, Bella, my father works hard to take care of his family and he travels a lot but that’s no reason to cheat on him.

My parents have been married for years and just the thought of not seeing my parents together makes me want to cry.

I feel embarrassed to confront my mom and I am wondering whether I should tell dad.

But that might cause problems and mess up my life.

Teenage Fear

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Hello Teenage Fear,

This is quite a predicament that you have found yourself into. I think you should talk to your mother.

It can be quite embarrassing to speak to your mom about something like that but I think you should.

You can write her a letter if you want to express your concerns because It can be hard facing your mother with something like that.

Your mother is making a very human mistake but on the other hand, your family as you know it could be threatened or irreparably damaged by her mistake.

What’s important is for you to tell her how hurt and disappointed you would be if that were true.

There’s no way it wouldn’t impact her thinking.

Whether she admits/denies it or not is irrelevant. Expect defense, denial, ‘it’s none of your business’, ‘there are things you don’t understand’, etc.

What’s important is that she hears you on your feelings.

It may just bring her back to Earth and make her realize what she is risking.

Best
Bella

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22 Comments

  1. M H
    April 10, 2018

    it seems this is the normal thing for DA woman to cheater on there Husband I myself know off a women who is also cheating on her husband ,and the man knows his wife lover, but this is what happen when you let your wife keep friends with her ex boyfriends you become the substitute,

  2. sanna
    March 8, 2018

    R.I.P BELLA!

    We will miss you!!!!

  3. Jessie
    March 5, 2018

    Child, Its none of your business, and you have no right reading your mothers text, does she read your phone texts, know your place, you have no idea what your mum is going through, so don’t judge her and talk ask why would she cheat on your father, have you ask father how comes he goes on trips all the time.??? .

  4. I CARE
    November 11, 2017

    I am surprised some of you take this as a joke. If you all have nothing to tell the child u all should keep your thoughts to yourself. the individual is seeking help and this is the feedback u all giving. shame, shame… I hope none of u end up in this position. :cry:

  5. ole gyalliss
    September 16, 2017

    these responses tell you everything about DA dem season… relationship just not making no sense again… gyalliss till my wood caar rise again, woman to salop dem times

  6. September 14, 2017

    Correction. Lying

  7. Shameless
    September 14, 2017

    Child stay away from GROWN folks business please before to destroy something based on what you “believe”.

    Daddy may be fully aware and he is also playing the field. While daddy may be playing PIPEFITTER in someone else’ bedroom. mummy is fully aware and just decided to catch some water flowing “on the side” to quench her thirst. So, like my friend would say, “Just hush u mouth” or play Moomoo before you get people in trouble. Hey, Mommy needs love too so just chill.

    And next time you lend someone phone DO NOT READ THEIR MESSAGES…SACKWAY GASS MAN!

    Assertive like hurricane Irma! :twisted: :twisted:

    • takisbestfraand
      January 8, 2019

      youre probably a cheater too smh

  8. Mère véyé
    September 14, 2017

    Child stay away from what is older than you. Daddy pays bills and forgets mammie need warmth also.
    Instead hé Travels with his side Chick . So mammie have some fun, and child go online on daddy phone

  9. UDOHREADYET
    September 13, 2017

    Child that not your business… but easy to fix, you don’t need to confront your mother or father at all.

    First, for volume and large quantity… eat plenty fig and dasheen and rice, wait 9 hours, then take Senai after, ask you mother to use her phone again, then use the toilet, take a picture of the contents :lol: and whatsApp it to B.L. with love… case closed.

    you’re welcome

  10. Me
    September 13, 2017

    That’s so traumatizing for anyone. @Teenage Fear….you should confront your mom about what you saw on her cell phone in a nice and respectful way. Let her know how you feel. You love both your parents and the last thing you would want is for them to go their separate ways. Nothing happens by accident. Maybe you were put there to read the messages and thus save your parent’s marriage. Think about it ‘what if your father was the one who borrowed her phone and read those messages?’ Don’t be scared…she will either accept that she has done wrong and try changing or deny her wrong doing and continue with her behavior.

  11. WHERE I REALLY BE THERE??
    September 13, 2017

    DOH MAKE JOKE! you too fast youself! That not your business, there’s probably more you don’t know about! Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to

  12. Oh Snap
    September 13, 2017

    Seriously somebody lend you their phone a message comes in, you don’t read it.

  13. ALmighty God help
    September 13, 2017

    :lol: :lol: :lol: child that not your business.

    • September 13, 2017

      How dear you, tell this child is not her business, that is her mom so it is her business . People like you that have the world how it is today. No morals. It must be you having the affair.

    • Paul
      September 13, 2017

      How it’s not her biz? These dirty cheating women in Dominica thelse days you canto take no chance with them.. vast majority of women in DomiNicaraua them days..especially some of those young ones..they lieing cheating and easy… Just can’t seem the find a good woman in that country these days… is iether they involved in lesbianism. Or they have no ambition.. or they in all jam.. Most of them depend on people for thier needs.. they dont go to school and learn… they blame men for there mistakes… mst of them self centered .. controling.. lieing they cant stick with one man..just a sick place..

    • DA girl
      September 14, 2017

      It’s her business. That’s her family you twit! She is seeing how her family can be destroyed because of this and has every right to be concerned. Yes she should talk to her mom.

  14. zandoli
    September 13, 2017

    You “lent” your mother’s cell phone to go on line? That should be “I BORROWED my mother’s phone……” Lend to, borrow from.

  15. Kermit
    September 13, 2017

    I know how you feel. Just that it was my dad. That was couple years ago to date just the site of him upsets me.

  16. September 13, 2017

    Talk to your mom there is always a reason for doing things

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