DEAR BELLA: My boss is married but I am in love with him

Dear BellaDear Bella,

I am in love with my boss. He is close to 60 and I am 40. I know what you’re thinking. That nothing is wrong, right?

Well, everything is wrong because he has a wife. But Bella before you blame me, please know that he flirts with me a lot. Always asks me if I have lunch or asks if I am alright whenever I look sick at work.

He even asked me to do overtime sometimes when he is alone at work. I cannot say he has disrespected me but I think his little acts of kindness is an indication he likes me.

And these days I find myself always wanted to be all made up at work and spend a lot of money on new uniforms. He gives me lifts sometimes when I work late and would make statements like “you need to get a car”.

I look forward to going to work, Bella. It excites me knowing that I get to see him.

I am single. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Love the Boss

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Dear Love the Boss,

Sometimes we can mistake someone’s kindness for something it’s not. And it would be better for both parties if this is indeed misjudgment on your part. But if it is not then it means you could be weaving a destructive device.

Luckily for you, it’s early on and you have the time to put an end to it.

If he actually is interested in you and obviously, you him – there will either be an affair, which will end badly, or a divorce, which is no fun at all.

Or you will be incredibly frustrated.

Don’t forget that being in an affair inside a corporation can reflect badly on you and your career at that firm.

Be thankful for this crush however.

It alerted you to the fact that you’re ready to have someone more emotionally available in your life.

That’s a good thing.

Best

Bella

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35 Comments

  1. Bella B
    April 17, 2017

    Bla Bla Bla…. i forgot how amusing it is to read these… lol

    At 40 boo you dont need to be a side piece in any man’s life. Work hard but let that man respect you… You should be thinking of cruising the world or building your house or just merely living life stress free. These married men ain’t give two shoots about your happiness. He is indirectly luring you and will blame you after he gets piece and say “but you know i have my wife” ha!!

    !
    Its about time WOMEN ;EARN to stand up and tell some of these selfish boys a thing or two. .. AND THATS JUST THE LEAST OF ALL THE THINGS THESE FEMALES ALLOW MEN TO BUY THEM WITH..

    LEARN TO BE INDEPENDENT WOMEN.. GET YOUR OWN AND NO MAN WILL MAKE YOU A FOOL

  2. Mahaut
    April 15, 2017

    That belladonna suff is just nastiness

  3. Mahaut
    April 15, 2017

    That belladonna stuff pure nasty nasty talk I never see something about God it’s nastiness

  4. The Eel
    April 14, 2017

    Men watch yourselves! Shameless is on remote control, it appears that she missed out on everything. Think about the people you will be hurting and control yourself. You are in love with him but is he in love with you. Them men are so weak, they cannot say ,I am married with a wife and children. Tasha P

  5. Daughter of the soil
    April 14, 2017

    So my boss bought me sugar cake ask if we would anything for lunch does that mean he is flirting with me away girl u sick leave the damn people alone and he telling u u need a car is a hint he is getting tired of giving u ride home it cuts into his time to get home to he wife. And no he won’t buy u the car if u don’t stop that madness u will end up with a job and a man case close God be with u girl

  6. Don't do it, you will be sorry.
    April 13, 2017

    I will give you the benefit since we, the readers/bloggers cannot see his BODY LANGUAGE. However, there is only one way to spell MARRIED. He is Married and should be off limits to you.

  7. Scotch
    April 13, 2017

    “Please know that he flirts with me a lot.” That right there is a problem. If he is married and flirting with you a lot then this should tell you that he has no respect for his wife in her absence. Don’t think that he’ll have any respect for you if you give in to his nonsense. Besides, you know that he is married so you will have no one to blame but yourself if you allow this to go any further pass this “flirting” stage. Run the other way in order to save your reputation. On another note, put yourself in his wife’s shoes and try to think of how you would feel if your husband was behaving that way with another woman behind your back. Not nice.

  8. Lady Gaga
    April 13, 2017

    Young lady, while it is thrilling to have someone show interest in you especially someone you admire and hold in high esteem, do not complicate your life and work environment ! It is not worth getting involved with a married man because 1. they hardly ever leave their wives and 2. if he did leave her for you, would you really be happy with him then ? If an affair were to develop between you two and later end, then you may still harbor some resentment which may spill over in to your work relationship. This may also become obvious to your coworkers who may then assume that any promotions or kudos you receive on the job are not a result of your hard work and effort but because you are the bosses plaything.

    The best way to avoid a bad situation is to avoid the opportunities for temptation (hard because they can be so thrilling). So avoid working late as much as possible and avoid taking rides from your boss. Avoid being alone with him especially when there is no one else in the…

  9. Controlla
    April 12, 2017

    “you need to get a car” probably means “I am tired of dropping you home”

  10. April 12, 2017

    Ok perhaps we are reading you wrong here because how can “have you had lunch or are you alright” flirting. Young lady may I suggest that you do not entangle yourself in a relationship that will only lead to your destruction. Being kind is not being in love so be thankful you have a wonderful boss and let it remain that way ‘boss’. Good luck in finding your own handsome and caring beau.

  11. Mrs Maury
    April 12, 2017

    “You need to get a car” is a hint. He is willing to give you a lift home for only so long.
    So stop making a fool of yourself and reading in between the wrong lines… :mrgreen:
    I cannot believe you mistook “you need to get a car” for he is probably interested in you
    clearly he is not. Wake up

  12. Shameless
    April 12, 2017

    Girl play yourself :) . You are a big woman and he is a grown man. Grown folks make grown decisions so if you want a taste of the wine go ahead, just don\’t expect to have it all and leave wifey cra-nah-nah. Who knows, you may not even like it. I say go for it because when it comes to smiling only you can put that on you face with the help of a willing senior pipe-man serving good wine 8) .

    Assertive like the rod of Moses! :twisted:

  13. April 12, 2017

    woman im single too with a three bedroom house im 45 so link me ok n leave that married man alone.Are you ok ? n did you have lunch?

    • Fran
      April 13, 2017

      :lol: :lol: . But do you have a car to give her a lift and then tell her she needs to get a car?

    • just2
      April 13, 2017

      you forgot to tell her she \”need a car\” :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • lmckoy
      April 13, 2017

      What about the car?

  14. WHAT IS IT
    April 12, 2017

    For God’s sake he is a married man!!! Respect them souplay please.

  15. MARRIED WOMAN
    April 12, 2017

    First, you are 40 years old and very foolish to think that “your married boss” likes you. “You” are obsessed with the man. Leave the “married boss” alone, he has a wife. You need to send him home. As much as you may need the overtime—money, what about your dignity? your self pride? How are your going to walk in the community? I guarantee you, not with your head held high.
    The only thing that will happen is you being USED. He has a wife, and you want to be second fiddle. How can you settle for that, SECOND? What a shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No pride!!!!!
    You sound very desperate, I pitty you!

  16. April 12, 2017

    Of course you are wrong to think this way. Even though you are single your boss is not.

    Do you want to break one of the ten commandments *Thou shalt not commit adultery* (Exodus 20:14)?

    Do you want to ruin your reputation and be known as a home wrecker?

    Do you want to hurt his wife? They have likely been together for a long time. She has invested her life in their relationship. When they married no doubt they marred for life. Isn\’t this the kind of marriage you would want for yourself?

    Do you not realize this kind of breakup would not only be devastating to his wife. If he has children they would be hurt along with other relatives and members of his extended family. This is not something anybody wants for a loved one.

    Does it matter to you that it could have a negative effect on his career and also on your own job?

    If you have children with him is this something you would be proud to have your kids know about? It is hard enough raising a family these days.

    • April 12, 2017

      Continuation:

      Besides all these issues … …

      Even if you did not have a family with him ( I realize you are 40) consider this. You would be closing the door of opportunity for you to meet a single man closer to your own age and having a less stressful marriage without breaking up a couple.

      I encourage you to start reading the New Testament beginning with The Gospel of St. John and let the light shine in :!: Begin attending a lively evangelical church. Receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and you will find yourself living in a different world.

      Visit our website http://www.livinghopeministries.ca

      Click onto SERMONS.

      Now click onto THE EAGLE COURSE. It is a 12 Lesson Workbook Manual for new Christians. It can be studied from the screen OR copied absolutely free. The very first lesson tells you how to receive Christ as your Savior.

      There is nothing to buy or join. No tricks. No gimmicks. It is all about helping you.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      Sincerely, Rev…

  17. Angel
    April 12, 2017

    I believe that in our society, there are many women like the one we have just read about. Again clearly as i have said before, “women do not like women”. The first thing that comes to mind is to destroy every married relationship. But where is GOD in all this? If you believed in God and HIS WORD, and had any FEAR of GOD, young lady, you would be afraid to mess with a married relationship.

    God’s WORD states clearly that “what I have joined together, let no man put asunder”. And for all those who are disobedient, just know that there is a judgement day coming very soon.

    God is a just GOD, a RIGHTEOUS GOD, and you WILL face the wrath of GOD.

  18. Zandoli
    April 12, 2017

    You said you were 40 years old but you sound like a 17 year old junenile

  19. Dominican
    April 12, 2017

    when you pregnant and he go away sue the wife for child support then come to bella. these days women should really go something with sidechicks you know. Before I would say ignore them but since they want to take wife to court I say finish with their race before it gets to that

  20. LifeandDeath
    April 12, 2017

    Great advice Bella..spot on..!!..good to notice the Crush was all in the woman’s head.. She should heed Bella’s advise and seek someone else who is more emotionally available..and tick tock, ’cause she overdue for a Man at 40..

  21. marie-claire R Skerrit
    April 12, 2017

    Good one Bella because from the title i was about to say but where all these wavet sals coming out but this woman should just put some ice on her ting and keep herself quiet. Dow mix business and pleasure this will be a toxic ending for you. Ok

    • Likeme ornot
      April 12, 2017

      Bella you should tell this woman to get a life! Doesn’t she know that if he extends concern for her well being at work its his duty as a boss to do so? Where is her understanding of esprit de corps in an organization? She is so brave to mention that he is married. She should give the boss’s marriage some respect and allow whats left of the couples life to continue in peace and love. These single people are just hell bent of disruption to marriages and bring curses on themselves. Best advice to you lady, GET THAT FOOLISH THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. GO FIND A SINGLE MAN OF YOUR OWN WITH HOPES OF GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY. TAKE A PAGE FROM YOUR BOSS BOOK, FOR A SOILD MARRIAGE!

    • LuCClu
      April 14, 2017

      Look this comment has me in stitches….wavet sal…..bwaahahahahhahahhaha

  22. mary waner
    April 12, 2017

    Stay away from him if he wanted you he wouldn’t tell u get a car!he is married.

  23. Hmmm
    April 12, 2017

    Thumbs up Bella finally giving some advice that actually makes sense.
    How sad is it when women can’t​ tell when a man is just being nice and not flirting with them. Smh

    • April 13, 2017

      There is a God shaped vacancy in the human heart that can never be filled until it is filled with God.

      Until individuals open their hearts to God by receiving Christ as their Lord and Savior there will always be this emptiness that results them wanting, desiring, and craving something forbidden. This soul hunger can be for anything from worldly possessions to alcohol or drugs, to entertainment, or relationships, or illicit sex.

      At this time of the year – EASTER – we are reminded of the only thing that can satisfy the human heart and that is Christ and His gospel. You need to encounter THE RISEN CHRIST!

      I invite you to visit my website http://www.livinghopeministries.ca

      Click onto SERMONS.

      Then click onto and listen to my Easter sermon MANY INFALLIBLE PROOFS.

      I will share with you the evidence of the resurrection of Christ that lawyers have said would stand up today in a modern court of law. I will give you the names of the lawyers.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  24. TRUEMAN
    April 12, 2017

    ***VERY SIMPLE****

    “I am single. Am I wrong to feel this way”?
    ……………………….

    No, you’re not wrong to feel this way!!

    But you’ll be VERY WRONG to act on your feelings or allow this “married” boss man to mess with your emotions!!

    So behave yourself and find your self a “single” man!!

    • April 15, 2017

      *Am I wrong to think this way :?: *

      An ancient Hebrew king called Solomon wrote 1,000 years ago *Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.* (Book of Proverbs) Our thoughts create feelings which frequently lead to words and actions.

      You must keep your thoughts with all diligence. This means wisely control your thoughts because this is were emotions and behavior come from.

      These thoughts should not be in your mind for one minute. They are adulterous and unclean. Why? Because the man is married. He is already in a *one flesh* relationship with a woman. Get your Bible and read Matthew 19:4-6.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist. (Pastoral Counselor Certificate)

      • June 23, 2017

        OOPS :oops:

        With Solomon in my comment that should be 3,000 years ago not 1,000 years ago.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  25. dhestini
    April 12, 2017

    one thing i’m gonna say to let u think. he says ‘u need to get a car’ not ‘I’m gonna buy u a car’. so there u have it my girl. he probably cares about u, but I think more as a big brother or good friend. meaning he wants to see u succeed and do good in life. he sounds like a good man. if I were u id not ruin that by mistaking it for something anymore than it is. treating pple kindly doesnt always mean he has romantic feelings for u. don’t cross that line. respect him as a caring boss and respect urself as a lady. the rewards will be much greater

  26. %
    April 12, 2017

    So you know that he has a wife but the SATAN in you is telling you to USE HIM and break up his marriage..Take care you dont get a SIX for a NINE!!!

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