DEAR BELLA: My ex is blackmailing me over nude pics

Dear BellaDear Bella,

My ex is threatening to post nude pics of me online if I don’t keep having sex with him.

When we first met we were soooo in love. It’s like I was crazy and would do anything and so he had me take several nude pics.

There are some when we were engaged in intimate activities. His face was not showing.

But I left him because he cheated. Now I met someone I love and my ex is threatening to publicly embarrass me.

He blackmailed me and I gave him what he wanted a few times but he keeps using my fear to take advantage of me.

I don’t want to lose my current boyfriend but I cannot continue to be blackmailed like this.

Plus, I feel like I am cheating on my boyfriend by having sex with my X like that. What should I do?

Blackmail

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Blackmail,

Let me first start by saying I understand what you’re going through because I suffered a similar situation.

Only it was a guy who told me I should sleep with him else he would tell my dad I had a boyfriend.

My dad wasn’t easy.

Anyway, I told him to go right ahead. Similarly, I am telling you, tell this pathetic ex of yours to go ahead.

Now you need to come clean with your current boyfriend and if he loves you enough, he will understand and see past this mistake that you’ve made.

Secondly, there are laws against such acts and at least you have that going in your favor.

Posting nude pics of someone is against the laws. The same punishment applies for those who share these photos/videos.

Pray for your ex that he turns from his wicked ways and pray that karma doesn’t come back and bite him in the rear. Free yourself from this bondage.

And if he decides he is above the law and shares your nude pics, then this too shall pass.

P.S try not to take nude pics of yourself for anyone. Not even your husband. Tell your husband you’re better looking in the “real”.
Cheer up.

Best

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at news@dominicanewsonline.com. Dear Bella is published every Wednesday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

Disclaimer: The comments on this page do not necessarily reflect the views of DominicaNewsOnline.com/Duravision Inc. All comments are approved by DominicaNewsOnline.com before they are posted. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • violate or infringe the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or include personal attacks
  • are abusive, profane or offensive
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are excessively long and off-message

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.

40 Comments

  1. Raj Ram
    February 11, 2018

    there is no law. do what u want for tomorrow we may die.

  2. warma
    June 23, 2017

    Go to the police. Have a lawyer paper ready for him. Holding the pics over your head to induce sexual favors is a crime – in fact that can be construed as coersed rape. He have more problems than he thinks.

  3. Long Lost Dominica
    June 22, 2017

    Release de pic before it release u :lol:

  4. Peace
    June 22, 2017

    Contact an attorney and send him a letter. Also, contact the police and ensure they pay him a visit. People do stuff like that because the victims do not want to seek legal remedies. Let him know you mean business!! No more Miss Nice Gal!

  5. Amy
    June 22, 2017

    All you have to do is give him one last rock and while he sleeping just take his phone and dump it in a basin of Clorox water.

    Boom! Pics gone….

  6. DA/
    June 22, 2017

    Not a nice place to be in , but you can fight back. Your current may not like to hear about it ,but as Bella said if he really loves you he will understand . So tell him and together now ,you can seek out a plan how to deal with it. Please no violence , or anything of that sort . Furthermore ,it would be nice to have some evidence. If you can record your conversation when he is trying to lure you and where you are defiant , then you have something to back you up .

  7. cedrick
    June 21, 2017

    here is my take on the issue…it is an offence to post nude pics of anyone without their consent so let him go ahead cause there are penalties for doing this sort of things. secondly no real man would take advantage of a woman in that sort of way. it only shows how much of a little boy he ins in his thinking. a report should be made to the police so all his electronic devices can be confiscated and he be charged with the appropriate crime. my sister don’t let this zaman take any more advantage of you like this cause when u allow him to prey on your fear he wont stop.

  8. Shameless
    June 21, 2017

    So what if he has nude pics of you? Yes he violated your trust but who cares in this day and age if he wants to post it. Do not be so fearful that you allow him to blackmail you. Be proud of your body and move on. If I could I would post my nude pic myself so people can see my hard wood. So many nude pics on the internet at the click of a button only in Dca we make it a problem. Let the pervert post it and report him to the police.

    Assertive like Moses’ rod! :twisted: :twisted:

  9. Me
    June 21, 2017

    @Blackmail…..Go to the police, file a report and find yourself a lawyer. By you daring your ex boyfriend to go ahead and post nude pictures of you online may or may not work….it only takes a few seconds to post something online and ruin someone’s reputation. Some folks can be very wicked especially if they want to get back at you.

  10. Dominican Passports
    June 21, 2017

    Woman so stupid, going and take how much naked picture for good for nothing man… Talking about “I in luv wii;)” That must release allu head to empty :-x :-x

  11. Dominica
    June 21, 2017

    Tell that Ex that its legally wrong to post any nude photos to the public. Legal actions can be taken against him. Just tell him and he will stop with his idle threats. He is a sick coward.

  12. Mr.Prolific
    June 21, 2017

    About time we were given a treat by Bello.show us the nude pics. The past always come back to hunt you

  13. UDOHREADYET
    June 21, 2017

    How is this a problem… simply take pics of him when tries to hook up with you… threat neutralized!

    Also stop taking nude pics, you not a pornstar!

  14. As if
    June 21, 2017

    Get this burden off your shoulder. Tell your current the situation. the worse case scenario, he leaves you or if he really loves you, he’ll be mad at you for a while. If there are any messages incriminating your Ex show it to your current, obviously you need proof that you’re being blackmailed.

    Now dealing with the sleazy Ex put your foot down, let that pervert know you will not be controlled anymore. Tell him your boyfriend knows everything and he supports you. Tell him you have spoken to a lawyer so it would be wise on his part to delete the pis or you’ll see him in court.

    Also everyone on here talking about don’t take pics, I think that there is a wise way to take nude pics, simple: 1. don’t show your face, 2. don’t take the pic anywhere you can be linked to (ex: don’ take it in any easily recognizable area be it in the house or car, yard, where someone might see the back ground and link it to you) 3. don’t show any distinguishing marks ex: scars, birthmarks,…

    • As if
      June 21, 2017

      Excuse me DNO why did you leave out the word tattoos after birthmark.

  15. Dominican
    June 21, 2017

    And with all this young women are still going to continue taking nude pics for men. Men in love don’t ask girlfriends to do this but women now sell themselves cheap and don’t learn. I hope you will not take nudes for the new man

  16. whifer
    June 21, 2017

    Girl go to the police have them delete the pics,that advise bella giving u not making sense

  17. papa
    June 21, 2017

    Mr sick he need to get a life he is a low class

    • Dominican Passports
      June 21, 2017

      How he low class and he have private naked pictures of her? If anybody low class it her :lol:

  18. Daniel J Tanner
    June 21, 2017

    Never take a photo you wouldn’t want online. Let him dare to go ahead. He might be breaking the law. And Facebook won let nude photos appear.

    • Hugh .G. Recshun
      June 21, 2017

      Facebook would let it until it is reported. So imagine if noone reported it for 5 hours while you are asleep. then you wake up, how many people do you think might have seen it ?

  19. dady b
    June 21, 2017

    take him to court law suit

  20. June 21, 2017

    Blackmail:

    You must confront this man and TELL him what he is doing is called extortion. It is against the law. Let him know he could be charged for even threatening to do what he has said he would do. I do not know how the law reads in your country but it may be he could go to jail.

    You may decide to go to your local police station and spill this to the commanding officer. Ask if he would visit him and warn him of the consequences. I expect that would put an end to his nonsense.

    For the future and other ladies out there let me say your body is your private property and is not to be shared with anybody except your lawfully married husband not even a boyfriend. This is a sin the Bible calls fornication in 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 and other passages of scripture. It can cause a lifetime of grief.

    Nude pictures should not be taken. They should not be given out to anybody because if they get on the internet they can cause a lifelong nightmare.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

    • Roger Burnett
      June 21, 2017

      While generally agreeing, I wish to qualify the statement: “Nude pictures should not be taken”

      Throughout the ages painters and sculptors have depicted the beauty of the nude figure and more recently some fine photographers have followed suit. I refer to the beauty of the nude and not to pornographic inferences.

      A century ago the American artist Robert Henri wrote:

      “There is nothing in the world more beautiful than the nude human body. It is not only among artists but among all people that a greater appreciation and respect for the human body should develop. When we respect the nude, we will no longer have any shame about it.”

      • June 24, 2017

        There are many passages of scripture in the Bible that let us know we are not to look upon the nudity of the opposite gender unless it is that of our legal spouse.

        There is a reason for this. God created men so that the appearance of a naked or semi nude female often causes sexual arousal. To a lesser extent it works the same way with women towards men. This is perfectly normal in marriage. God made us this way to carry procreation forward. But this visual stimulation has no place outside marriage. Among and between single people modesty is the order of the day.

        Obviously there are (have been) artists, photographers, and writers, etc. with a vested interest in
        nudity and who often have personal problems of their own that color their thinking. Their opinion
        about human nakedness means nothing to Christians who receive their light from the word of God, and consider the problems created by the opposite point of view in our society today.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
    • Shameless
      June 22, 2017

      :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Rev sometimes you just really “enwahzhay” me eh. Garson you too hypocrite!!

      What BS that nude pics should not be taken? I am 10000000000RRR % sure you does “veyay” nude pics of beautiful women (not children) on the internet and be very content :mrgreen: :mrgreen: . Women should be proud of their nude pics because we were all born nude. We even have TV series naked and alone. Is the WHITE man that start making people put clothes on them as if we are ashamed of our bodies. If it was not for man made laws I myself would be walking naked here in Dca with my mastiff hanging like a fireman hose 8) . So reverend, STOP the insanity and get with the program.

      Assertive like the rod of Moses! :twisted:

      • Roger Burnett
        June 23, 2017

        In fact, the nude body is less sexually alluring than the provocatively clad clothed.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
      • June 24, 2017

        *… the white man started making people put clothes on…*

        Actually the coming of the white missionaries brought significant changes to some African nations
        involving more than clothes. I expect you would be very grateful if you were better informed.

        The gospel (good news) of Christ that caused people to put clothes on also delivered them from fear, and superstitions. It liberated them from unhealthy customs. It brought a better quality of life.

        Christians from Africa would tell you the best day in the history of their nation was when the gospel reached their people. This is the good news that people can be saved by believing that Christ died for our sins and rose again according to 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 and Romans 1:16.
        We can be saved NOW and we can KNOW we are saved :!: If you think this is too good to be true
        get your Bible and read 2 Corinthians 6:2 and 1 John 5:13.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
  21. Advise to you
    June 21, 2017

    You need to get legal advise on this. Any lawyer can help and he will pay for this actions. Secondly blackmail is a crime which he is already guilty off. Challenge him on this and make him back off.
    Never take nude pics of yourself…it is dangerous..!!

  22. analy thomas
    June 21, 2017

    I agree to the response that you were given. Also, all the answers to solving problems can be found in the bible. E.G 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”.
    I say this because the devil tries to create fear in our minds to get us to do what is against God’s will. Many people are in bondage today because of 1 reason; They have not fully surrendered to Jesus Christ! Could there be Christians living in bondage? absolutely!
    But it is that total surrender that makes the difference and give the freedom, boldness, confidence, courage and hope! The bible says, greater is he who is within us than he who is in the world.
    We may be looking for a man with a long tail and horns but Satan has demons and even humans who are more than dedicated to him. There is no salvation plan for Satan and his demons but the humans can turn back! Certainly!

    • analy thomas
      June 21, 2017

      continuation:
      If you your x for E.G is not surrendered to God then i am afraid that Satan can manipulate him and in turn make your life a living hell! he has a strongman called a demon of fear! This is how much emphasis he puts in creating fear in humans.
      We people feel guilty and think that we are too bad to come to Jesus but he says come as you are! He will fix you! He wants you just like this to show you how he can make you! We can sit in heavenly places according to the bible!
      And guess what! When Jesus is in your life and you begin to walk with him, problems will certainly come but he will always be with you and you will be able to pull through as long as you are serious. Things come our way and it feels like trash thrown in a can! We feel so loved and supported. All we have to do is believe and trust Jesus. You will even willingly forgive the bad things said and done against you!
      Just try him and great and mighty things will he show you!
      May the name of Jesus be praised!

    • Daniel J Tanner
      June 21, 2017

      The bible mentions Facebook?

      • analy thomas
        June 21, 2017

        Neither does it mention the Holy Trinity or Triune or even the rapture! The very sun that gives us light and heat operates as 3 in one! The sun, (source-Father), light (son), heat, (spirit) Isn’t God amazing?
        The truth is what matters and knowing the truth will save us. He is Jesus!

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
  23. JOSH SHAW
    June 21, 2017

    pass d pics star. we in dca are accustomed to them tings now-a-days

    • Dominican Passports
      June 21, 2017

      Took the words right out of my mouth, LET DE LOCALS BREATHE! :lol:

  24. June 21, 2017

    Mr current have to understand you had an x and as for me x that is y he is an x so tell him go ahead post all the pic he want life is not going to stand still because he post and maybe u should have a talk with me current and let him no what is going on but he might leave you because u sleep with x so be ready for trouble

  25. j
    June 21, 2017

    smh, if you expect the boyfriend to agree and forgive bella, then you just stay with the first one boyfriend and render the same. do unto to others as you would like them to do unto you.

Post a Reply to DA/ Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available