Dear BellaDear Bella,

My girlfriend is very beautiful but she is uneducated.

Before you criticize me understand that I have tried to get her to do things like adult education, online learning, all of that.

I told her that I was the one who will pay because she’s a cashier at a small shop in town and that really cannot make the grade.

I say this because I am about to pop the question.

Now once we are married a lot will change. Meaning shared financial responsibilities and I don’t want to be the one carrying that load alone.

Besides, I don’t like seeing my wife sweat at that job for small change.

I have tried to get her to further her education even doing her CXC over. But she seems comfortable where she is.

I don’t want this to cost me my relationship because I love her but I won’t marry a woman with that attitude.

What should I do?

Uneducated

——————————————————————————————–

Dear Uneducated,

There’s a saying, “you can bring the cow to the well but can’t make it drink the water”.

And in this case, this is what applies. You can make suggestions and beg your girlfriend to further her studies or take courses to right the wrongs in her education.

But if she’s not willing then she won’t. This is something you have to begin to accept.

Maybe she is comfortable with where she is in life. You can’t make a person change unless they want to.

I see the concerns you have with taking the relationship to the next level. Any rational thinking person would have these concerns unless you are very wealthy and don’t need that kind of support in marriage.

Sometimes, things happen in our relationships as a reminder than perhaps our partner isn’t for keeps.

Weigh your options. Balance the scale. Look at the pros and cons, then you decide on the way forward because facts will remain facts no matter how you shift it.

And the fact is, your girlfriend isn’t serious or ready to elevate herself.

Best

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at news@dominicanewsonline.com. Dear Bella is published every Monday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that results from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.