Dear Bella,
I am having a slight difficulty here and I hope I am not overreacting over this whole thing.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend after I got to know that he had another girl pregnant for him.
Thing is he and I have a five-year-old together and the break up is very difficult for both of us.
So being down in the blues I decided to talk to someone about my problems. A friend of mine told me I should talk to our pastor since we all see him as some sort of shepherd to his flock.
That I did but he keeps on telling me that he is busy and the only time he can call is in the evening time.
I agreed to that and he called one evening and I told him what was going on. He offered some advice but then the calls began coming in later and later in the night.
Sometimes he asks questions like, ‘what are you wearing’ and ‘when last you did it.’ Then he would just brush those remarks aside and continue talking as if he didn’t say anything.
I am feeling kind of uncomfortable because now he is suggesting he comes over to my place so we could talk over my problems.
What would you suggest is going on?
Asking
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Dear asking
There are pastors and there are predators. So if you have a desire to be devoured then let him come but from all indications, you need help with your matter.
Shut the door on that so called pastor less you end up in a compounded situation. Now let’s focus on you and your problem.
I think you made the right decision by ending the relationship with your cheating boyfriend.
Be proud that you did something most women are afraid to do. Give yourself a pat on the back. Your emptiness makes you a candidate to be refilled.
Wait upon the Lord he will make provisions for you.
Where your daughter is concerned, ensure he plays a father’s role in her life, as for you, he has forfeited any privileges that he may have had with you.
Good luck
Bella
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Simply tell the pastor that he is being inappropriate with you.
If he says things that are unacceptable to you and you don’t express your discomfort at that time, he will think thats its okay to continue.
Example…
If someone you barely know asks you for $50 dollars and you stay quiet or tell them you’ll think about it but you don’t have $50 to give, then you are misleading the person into thinking you have $50. everybody likes money, even pastors
It is interesting, the content of that letter to Bella. Only earlier this week I has a passing thought, ‘when are we going to expose those predators in church?’..thinking in light of the recently concluded “leve domnique” campaign.
There are too many ppl afraid to tell on those church predators. But let me remind us all who trust the love of the Lord, that the enemy is interested in our souls, same thing that the Lord is interested in. The mind is the seat of our emotions, our souls and as long as the enemy can keep your mind bound with fear and “what ifs’…he has you.
I say expose them! Let their skirts be lifted up. They are not of the Lord.
Nonsense, just block the man’s number if you don’t want him to call you. Easy!
God is the only person who has no counselor because he is his own counselor! The Earth is his foot stool! When your child falls asleep, go down on your knees, release everyone who have offended you and are in your mind/heart, ask him for forgiveness, and let him guide your direction.
He has never failed anyone who truly believes in him! He is our deliverer, our provider! He is more than willing to show you the true way but you have to be earnest!
Those who are responsible for any leadership role, they will answer to God! Christianity is believing in Jesus Christ by his grace and having a relationship with him. Let him become your new friend. Men and women will all come before him for the final verdict!
When he walked on the earth he said none is good but the father in heaven. He will never leave you, nor forsake you as long as you are willing to obey/trust him. Read is word and pray. you will see for yourself!
May God’s name be praised.
Also, when you go to him you must confess all sins and forgive from your heart because he cannot dwell where the devil is or in an unclean temple. You must make it pure so that his spirit can enter. Just tell him all your troubles……… He already knows …. but still he wants you to confess and if you are in tears his holy spirit will comfort you! That result you will find will begin with peace…. a liberated feeling inside. but you must be true.
serve him.
Praise God.
Hmm one ting eh, dem Pastor… I think I want to become a pastor!
Then why are you taking it to Bella !!!Are not there other brothers and sisters in the faith that can assist you with the matter??My advice to you …is to take it to the LORD in prayer and HE will for sure show you whether that pastor is a true shepherd or just a hireling…
GOD BLESS….
The Lord is able to show you if this so-called pastor is a genuine servant of God or a phoney. And certainly it is appropriate to ask Him.
But there is no need to ask. Look closely. Jesus said we would know the servants of God. How will we know them? We will know them by their fruits. This kind of behavior is not the fruit of a born again person. Much less is it evidence of somebody consecrated to Divine service. Unless the person has gotten away from God and sadly allowed sin to gain the upper hand in his or her life. In such a case we should have no fellowship with the individual. We should not accept that pastor\’s ministry nor look to him or her for spiritual guidance.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.
Man you rev hill.. Why do you come here and comment on stories on DNO? Dont you have work to do? You just come here and comment.. But why dont you comment when Skerite does his garbage and wickedness.. You and the others remain quiet whilst the country goes to hell in a hand basket… Man go get work to do!
That pastor is a predator. Looking to prey on his flock. He is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. A downright dirty bastard. Wonder how many other women of his flock he done that to?
whats that name? Stop the Tith to that church. expose him! If you dont, you are allowing others to fall victim, the weak ones eh.
curious how Bella knows that the 5 year old is a girl
The most simple and logical solutin to the problem is to simply not answer the calls….. i doe understand y women make eveything so complicated…tell d man u not interested… an!!!
That’s a sheep b in wolves clothing
I do hope you also plan to choose another place of worship
I’m very proud of you and you also should be proud of yourself
Keep being a great role model for your daughter
God Bless you
Chile. Plain and simple pastor wants you to pass it.
I must be a pastor one day eh boy!!! That’s why those pastors don’t care if the country goes to hell because of evil rule… XES alone they like!!!
You are out beyond your depth talking about something you know nothing about. Further more it is a matter that is none of your business. Your comment is inappropriate and silly.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.
I would set up that bastard and expose him!
Young lady ask that pastor to stop calling you at late hours in the night and do not confide in him. Be strongand reject that individual called pastor who ask u these silly qquestions late at night and use long pants, bingo bags and long sleeve to bed no joke. Take your time and God will bless u with a good partner u truly deserve.
All men cheat. Presently we are driven by promiscuity. If you stay with your boyfriend he will continue to cheat. if you find a new lover, eventually he will cheat. Just look at the pastor. I’m certain that this pastor had a wife yet he is making sexual advances .
what does that say to you? Is either you stay I your relationship and learn to deal with your cheating boyfriend or you stay singleeeee
One of the reasons Dominica has so many predators is that the people they victimise do not come forward and name them. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but think about the next vulnerable woman who comes after you and consider that very carefully.
oK denison
Sweetheart this is not a God fearing pastor, put in his place find someone trust worthy to help you with your issues,
I should have edited my comments as follows
“A friend of mine told me I should talk to our pastor since we all see him as some sort of shepherd to his flock”. This latter is a ridiculous quote from you ..You had better get your situation cleared up and not be depending on any pastor..By the way who is he?? Does he have a name?? What church?/
Sheep in wolves clothing.. The scripture warns us to beware of false teachers. Obviously this so called pastor is another one of satans employees pretending to be who he is not.. How pathetic of him. Thats why we have to know God for ourselves and he ot rely on these blind men who use the pulpit as a cover up for their self righteous behavioyr.. Expose him and tell the public who he is. In this way you will be helping other young ladies.
Pastor bull pray for me.. pastor pepper……. all them so call god fearing whoremongers calling themselves men of god u all need to be made public. As my mom once said put them on gazette. But this was long ago now there is chronicle and sun… shame on all these pastors roaming and telephone curbing to get a peice…..
On Rodney’s rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand
Always Assertive!
Tell him come home and prepare GLO PIMENT BONDA MA JACK AND GIVE IT A GOOD MASSAGE FOR HIM AMEN.
You made my day. lolool
Asking, you have to be strong as a sister especially for your child. These things happen in life but you can’t end your life there. Get the support that you need from loyal friends and family, if possible. You must also realise that the so-called pastor is just a man, a human being like you, who also needs help. Sometimes we put our confidence in certain people not even thinking that they are only waiting to prey on the vulnerable. Someone once said, “trust no one and you won’t be disappointed.” Take care of yourself and your child and don’t rush into any relationship soon. Being alone for now does not determine your strength.
PEACE (HOTEP)
That whole “BELLA” thing is a sham. Don’t know why DNO is tolerating this nonsense. Soon it will be a sex demon calling you late at nights. But what has this world come to!!! Pastor calling you late at nights – Don’t you have a church board? You must not be born again; to be taking yourself so low down to “BELLA.”
If my memory serves me right, several years ago I red a letter similar to this one on DNO. Recently there was a story about a young lady who had a crush on a Priest; this story also caught my attention as one I had already red on DNO. ????????????????????????????
Agreed1000% fake B.S. but we like it so we really like it. Sex and sexual converservations gets the first knock. Make Dominica Graet again.
Give the pastor what he wants because he is a man of your god and god is always right…? Right?
I need that pastor to call me, I need counseling especially at nights, I’ve been very naughty lately
WHAT!? I must try that man!
lol !
“A friend of mine told me I should talk to our pastor since we all see him as some sort of shepherd to his flock”. This latter is a ridiculous quote from you ..You had Beretta get your salutation cleared up and snort be depending on any pastor..By the way who is he?? Does he have a name?? What church?/
Dr Clayton Shillingford you remind me of those days when the great Jefferson “Jeff” Charles use to say as he opened his show on Saturday nights,” Belle bouef por jeff” U like bouef man!
My view is that the pastor wnt a little piece. When I was in JA like you, I r ead about an obeah man who people ran to for any problem. One woman’s son was in Trouble with the law. The obeah man must have done some work for the presiding judge. so he got the judge to dismissed her son’s case some way some how.
so the lady went to the obeah mand to thx 7 pay him. She asked him Sah! how mi ah pay?
Judge: Just give mi monkey a little piece. There is a special boeuf newspaper printing these stories weekly and boy did it sell! Even I would look fwd to reading it weekly. We should have a weekly paper so.
This week would ah run it’s headline “Pastor want a little piece 4 advise”.
next week’s would read Dr Clayton Shillingford wants to know pastor’s name.” LMAO
I found that comment very humorous, it made me laugh, but now I know who wrote it, perhaps I should respond and say: That preacher is a scoundrel, the man is after the woman’s flesh. No preacher should call a woman in the night to play counselor.
The appropriate way that is done is like this; the pastor should always counsel a member of his church in his office or some place on the church premises, and even at that he should never be in a room alone with a woman playing counselor. He should have at least one or two people with him, along with the subject person who needs need counseling!
The fact he called the woman at night is proof he had ulterior motives. That sort of man playing with God’s work is the reason why some people do not take the word of God seriously, and fail to believe in God for that matter. Commonsense should have told the woman the first time he asks her what she was wearing, she should have hung up the phone, and that should have ended the preacher…
Continue:
Commonsense should have told the woman the first time he asks her what she was wearing, she should have hung up the phone, and that should have ended the preacher prevision towards her!
I would only hope the story is true and not intended for gossiping, because men should gossip!
The name and the name of the church are not things a writer should include in a letter to Bella, and they would not be published by DNO. In fact, you should know better than to ask.
The purpose of the column is to help people in a way that eliminates the problem if possible without causing further hurt or confusion. But there are lines of confidentiality that cannot be crossed.
By the way I think Bella (whoever she or he is) does good work, and this particular reply is excellent. It is a great way to reach out to hurting and confused people with genuine common sense and wisdom at a time when their circumstances prevent them from thinking as clearly as they would like.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.
Rev. Donald Hill, D.D. I was not disappointed you are the one who is remember lazarus rose from the dead can you climb a hill? lol hahahahahahaah.
I asked you to tickle us not knowing your status doubt you can do that let alone go up the hill. hahahahhahahaha
Dear Asking:
Bella has given you good advice. I hope you will act upon it especially in regards to your old boy friend.
Please tell this pastor you don\’t want him to call you, or visit you. Sorry Asking, but this man is a predator. There is a real danger here. If he insists on calling you or presses the idea of visiting you I suggest you change churches.
Unless this pastor is an independent minister without a superior he will be working under a bishop, superintendent, or an overseer of some kind. This is just how it is. It might become necessary for you to find out who his superior is and how he can be contacted. If the pastor continues to come on to you report him to his superior.
When I was a pastor with a church I would always take my wife with me when I visited a woman who would be alone. This is normal procedure. It is included in the ethics of our profession. The fact that he seems to have planned to come alone in itself is a red flag.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald…
Rev. Donald Hill, D.D. tickle us saqway maintain! Is not everytime your wife would want to go listen to people’s stories? liar liar pants on fire.man you must be hitting those highway outside TO and surroundings nightly & telling wifey you going choir practice and as the aticle suggested devouring some fants
From TO with love:
Sorry to disappoint you.
My wife (of 50 plus years) Sarah is also an ordained minister. She is very much part of my ministry and she took COUNSELING as part of her Diploma in Pastoral Theology course. From the beginning of our pastoral work together in our first church in Coboconk, Ontario, Canada in 1968 she has accompanied me in visitation and visitation has always been a strong part of our ministry when we were pastoring a church.
In case you have not noticed our present work LIVING HOPE MINISTRIES has a website. You can visit us at http://www.livinghopeministries.ca Our bio is posted there. Frankly, I am so well known I could not lie on DNO if I wanted to. So please do not go on DNO to mock and insult me. We are known and respected internationally. We cannot be intimidated by you.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill
Man you think anyone insulting you? One day you will be caught with your pants down and Sarah will be very dissappointed. Very long ago, many moons in DA as a boy we would play draft etc under the street lamps. Nightly this young girl was dropped of by a certain pastor everyone knew was an abuser. He was counseling her nightly with the rod of salvation,as you well know he plugged her and both migrated living his wife in DA with 3 of their children.So Mr.Dr. Pastor Valley mountain or Hill you guys are deadly.Sahra knows the games U guys play who knows she might have got caught in the trap. lol
Don’t be angry @ me and others who think L ike me. We speak from experience.
Our observations never misses never wrong
My wife (of 50 plus years) Sarah is also an ordained minister 50 yrs plus 26-27 when u wedded takes u close to 80 that’s old that’s dead skin man U are no danger to anyone Larzarus is better than you. All I got to do is ask Sarah. lol
But DNO, that sound like Pastor ……..lol. Go do all you investigation.
Spare the ROD and spoil the child.
Remember: Doh play wid the Pastor …..
Put that Pastor in his place and move on. Life has not ended for you. Take time to heal but move on..your child is your priority now.