DEAR BELLA: Worried my shopaholic friend will dump me

Dear BellaDear Bella,

My best friend and I have been very close for several years but there’s something I don’t like. She is a shopaholic and spends all her money on weaves, clothes, shoes, gadgets.

I mean she shops online a lot. By the first week of the month, she is broke and would come to me for help. I help her. I don’t know why I feel obligated to help her.

I would loan her money to pay DOWASCO and buy food and put gas in her car.

And Bella, in my mind, I am like “so you couldn’t pay DOWASCO before you order the Indian Remy weave?” But I wouldn’t say it to her.

A few months ago, she asked me for money to get some groceries. That same weekend she bought a new outfit and had the audacity to show me.

When I told her politely “buy food before clothes”, she didn’t speak to me and I had to keep begging for her friendship back.

So, I am worried she will definitely dump me if I tell her anything else. So, I am stuck as to what I should do. What would you do Bella?

Confused

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Dear Confused,

I would start by saying no to my friend’s request for money. I would also put our friendship under review.

No friend will take advantage of another friend’s kindness like that. In fact, I don’t think you will lose anything by cutting ties with her.

She may, however, lose her cash cow. Don’t make anyone hold you a prisoner. Liberate yourself from that slavery.

If your friend wants to use her money unwisely then that’s on her. You shouldn’t have to be the one to pick up her pieces.

Best

Bella

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6 Comments

  1. Paul
    August 28, 2018

    My brother dump that coshony boss… that is the characteristic of most of them DA woman them days.. my brother doe waste your money on them marge ting ther… them woman doe working nowhere and just Wana dress up and walk arround roseau… marge them woman ther be.. why take your money and give mamzel? Mamzel probly running man all over … you there wasting your money on them marge ting there… you have to buy food .. buy gas… just now u will buy panty too man? And other man piping that for you.. ghost dump that maMzel boss.. marge that

    • Stupes
      August 28, 2018

      The person said is their friend.. not their woman.. Also, the post never specified wether the person was male or female (most likely female).. Read properly.. Fool..

  2. jhey
    August 27, 2018

    u have nothing to loose if ur friend will dump u, give her a lesson, and dont let her abuse u girl, if she can buy for her habit and no money for food, well thats her problem, dont put ur self in to it, im just shaking my head for those ladies that can afford and waste money for those and no money to buy food. : :-x

  3. Agirl
    August 27, 2018

    I myself dump all users and inconsiderate friends and family. 1st I tell them how I feel then I give opportunities to show me they change or at least thinking of my situation and not repeating and if no improvement, bye.

    Vanity is high in Dominica and they have nothing to show for it. Sad.

  4. Miss BB
    August 27, 2018

    Dear confused,
    She’s using you and you are enabling her bad habit. Don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you in the name of friendship. It’s ok that she doesn’t speak to you this might just cause her to question herself and come to her senses!

    It’s sad that many young ladies these days are like your friend. That’s why their long weaves and well manicured nails don’t ‘burn me’.
    SMH :(

    • Amarossa
      August 28, 2018

      Yes wi!

      Imagine when I read the article, so many women in Dominica came to my mind, some living right there in my community.

      I think social media has a lot of blame to take for the way some women putting themselves in debt. It’s all to get likes and compliments when they put up their pics with a face full of make-up and weave, smh.

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