My ex is dating my enemy

Dear BellaI am not in the best position and I am sorry if I sound disjointed.

My ex is dating my enemy and I still have feelings for him.

When I first met my ex, I thought he was a great guy.

He told me he loved me, that he wanted to date me, that he liked me a lot, and a whole lot of other things.

So I fell for him!

Then his friend who introduced us told me he has a girlfriend and now I am heart broken.

His girlfriend has become my worst enemy and she is the one he is dating.

I am heart broken and confused,

What do I do?

Confused and Brokenhearted

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dear Confused and Brokenhearted,

You need to stop looking for self-worth and self-love from others.  Your ex is loving your enemy. So what?  Does that make you less of yourself because you love someone who did not love you the same?  No…have you thought that maybe he just missed out on the best, most loving relationship that he could have?  You should feel sorry for him that he is with someone else when you could be taking good care of him.  Learn to let go and move on.  Holding on to your past impedes on your future as you are making backward steps.

So you met a lying man and he played you…you are not at fault.  The boy’s mamma did not raise him right.  You need to spend some time looking at yourself, your strengths, your good qualities and loving yourself more.  Do not define yourself by someone’s appreciation or rejection of you.  Don’t you know that you all like different foods? Does that mean that because someone rejects broccholi it is not a good vegetable? If you are having troubles healing past hurts you will need to sit and talk to a counselor who will walk you down the path to self-love.

All the best.

Bella

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39 Comments

  1. James
    November 27, 2013

    Move on honey…plenty fishes in the sea. He’s moved on why are you hung up on him. I know it’s not easy to see someone you love with someone else but it happens and there’s not much to do about that. Take time to know yourself and know your worth. Associate yourself positive people and the right man will come alone.

  2. Francis Chicago
    November 27, 2013

    Anything a man or a woman did that does not glorified God is Nonsense.God highly esteems women do the bible say God crowned them with honor and glory, so you fell for him.If a guy wants you for the breasts, thights and legs send him to K F C.You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal.

  3. Just Blaze
    November 27, 2013

    If the man is your ex it should not matter who he dates. You all don’t have a child together and since u heard that news from a third party you all are not friends either. He is no longer a part of your life and who he dates is of no concern to you.

  4. Bull crap
    November 27, 2013

    Their is nothing you can do. His your ex. You have no say into who he dates or anything else that goes on in his life.

  5. star girl
    November 27, 2013

    lock this in your head( ONE MAN’S EX IS ANOTHERS MAN TREASURE)))))) :wink:

  6. Grotesque
    November 27, 2013

    Tone down bella, you sounding lil hot headed here. If u fedup let me help u give advice cause i know how minding ppl business can be daunting :lol:
    DNO: salary increase for bella! :)

  7. November 27, 2013

    Confused and Broken Hearted:

    The Bible says, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)

    Your ex-boyfriend has a warp in his character that will probably manifest itself again and again throughout his life. I am sorry for the pain this has caused you. But you are better to discover it now than later. It could have caused you repeated grief in the years to come.

    Stop for a few minutes to think about this. When he told you he loved you and said all those nice things to you there are ONLY two possibilities. There is no third option. Only one of these things can be right. Either (1) he was lying or (2) he did not know his own mind.

    (1) If he was lying he was doing it for a purpose. It was either to get what he wanted from you :evil: and to use you :twisted: while he was watching to see if somebody else would come along he liked better.

    (2) If he didn`t know his own mind he is an emotionally immature person :-? who is not ready for anything in life so serious or he is a man who is always looking :roll: for a better deal. Unfortunately, this kind of man often makes the wrong choice because what looks good today may not look so good tomorrow depending on how he feels and what is happening in his life. Objectively he has no solid values upon which to base his decisions. He can be expected to change his mind on a whim and cannot be depended on.

    On the other hand you are a woman who wants a solid foundation to build your future on. You know this foundation must be made up of things that count, things that are true and lasting. The lifetime partner you hope for is a man who makes choices based on enduring values and does not change his mind!

    Confused and Heart Broken, take time out to heal. Part of this healing is when you can forgive the woman who has hurt you and this will take time. These negative feelings are unhealthy. Let them go and concentrate on becoming the best woman you can be. If you do this I expect you will draw to yourself a truly good man – one you will be proud someday to introduce as your husband! :-P

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  8. FIRE........FIRE....
    November 26, 2013

    I don’t get this…did his friend introduced you two with intention to date? or did you assume it was something else? why would his friend tell you that he has a girlfriend…did you do something? and he had to send the messenger? girl that is an unsolved-mysteries…no worries…

  9. Anonymous
    November 26, 2013

    If he would cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

  10. forreal
    November 26, 2013

    i am kinda confused with friend part,was your friend before,or became your enemy after she started dating your X,because in that case,she in not your enemy,you are a fret to her,can’t you see :-D

  11. Anonymous
    November 26, 2013

    Young lady this guy don’t deserve you, you’re better than this don’t stoop that low. You need to focus on your self instead don’t chase after any man, love yourself and build yourself confidence. He’s an ex for a reason

  12. Romance
    November 26, 2013

    People say move on as if it is so easy to do. Get real. No doubt you have to try, but it is easier said than done.

    • James
      November 27, 2013

      It is easier said than done but you have to do it. It doesn’t do her any good to dwell on him when he’s clearly not thinking of her. He’s moved on to someone else. She needs to cry it out; pig out on Hagen Daz and fell sad but eventually she needs to look in the mirror and say “there is only one me; him on the other hand come a dime a dozen”. She deserves to love and be loved.

  13. under the radar
    November 26, 2013

    lol karma in 3…. 2…. 1….

  14. Say what?
    November 26, 2013

    So Bella that is the kind of advice you’re giving people? It appears that you were rejected, neglected, traumatized, and hurt yourself!

    How dare you say the boy’s momma did not raise him right? So every woman that gets dumped is due to the boy’s momma not raising them right? That was a foolish thing to say!

    DNO please be careful with the kind of people to hire to advise others!!!!! Bella you’ve got some issues!

  15. Dominican Abroad
    November 26, 2013

    Bella I agreed with your advice until you wrote “The boy’s mamma did not raise him right.”
    How do you know that? Also, you can raise your kids right and they will still do whatever they want to do in the end, good or bad. Young lady take this as a blessing in disguise. God may just have done you a favour by taking this guy away from you. Good luck!

  16. No Man Is God
    November 26, 2013

    I don’t think you thought about this before you wrote it. It is clear that you are hurting and angry but get over it. Now is the time to turn to Jesus he has the greatest love to offer you. Everything else will be added unto you,

    • Opinionated
      November 26, 2013

      Is Jesus going to tell you about dating? He was from Palestine and lived in a different society 2000 years ago. In fact Jesus is an English name so no one knew him by that name.

      • Mahaut
        November 26, 2013

        Go read your bible. Begin with the book of John

      • Bambolion
        November 26, 2013

        :mrgreen: I thought was a jew,get him out of your mouth,find some blue soap and wash your tongue…

      • November 28, 2013

        You need to understand that Jesus Christ is a real Person – risen from the dead – and seated at the right hand of God the Father in heaven!

        By His Holy Spirit He is also among His people on earth. He said such things as

        “Lo, I am with you always.”

        “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

        Christ guides the lives of those who believe in Him by His indwelling presence as they read their Bibles and ask Him in prayer to make His will known to them.

        Yes, of course, “Jesus” is an English word. It is the English translation of the Greek word which means Savior. The name was given to Him before His birth according to Luke 1:26-31. Most words in the New Testament are English words translated from the Greek. There are a few Aramaic words in the New Testament in their untranslated form.

        Sadly, to many people Jesus was only a man who lived and died in history 2,000 years ago. No, my friend! He is a living person. He is the Son of the living God according to Matthew 16:13-17. More so, He is God Himself who came to us in human flesh making Himself the God-man! John 1:1-3, and 14! He died for our sins and rose again according to 1 Corinthians 15:3,4. We can be saved by believing in Him according to John 3:14-16, and vs. 36, and Acts 16:31, without any merits of our own or any good works which we have done as it says in Romans 4:5, and Ephesians 2:8,9.

        Millions of people today know Him in a personal way. He leads and directs their lives. In fact, I was talking to Him this morning! I pray for you that you also will have this relationship with Him who is the Lord of glory, the great I AM!

        If I could tell Him as I know Him I know you would make Him yours today! The desire to make Him known totally consumes me. This is why I am an evangelist!.

        I want to

        Lift Jesus Higher,
        Lift Jesus Higher.
        Lift Him up for the world to see.
        For He said,
        If I be lifted up,
        I will draw all men unto me!

        Please read the Bible verses I have given you and claim the promises by simple faith. Then confess with your mouth that you are now a believer in Jesus Christ! Read Romans 10:8-11.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

        Yes, He was dead and He is alive for ever more!

  17. bigmack
    November 26, 2013

    what do u do? date his boss man.

    • Mahaut
      November 26, 2013

      Then she will have the boss fire him and have the last laugh

  18. trolol
    November 26, 2013

    I’ll tell you what to do, keep fighting for him, and do anything he says to get in his good graces! If you truly love him that would be the best thing to do. :wink:

    • Shepherd
      November 26, 2013

      all men has more than 2 women. no man has one woman now so just keep the competition tight. Make sure u overdo her in everything. Keep the competition going.

  19. Ms Twitter
    November 26, 2013

    “His girlfriend has become my worst enemy…”

    Not too clear on this statement. Are you saying that you and his girlfriend were enemies before you guys broke up OR she only became your enemy since she started loving your ex? which is it?

    • nooktoox
      November 26, 2013

      i’ve been wondering about the same thing

    • November 26, 2013

      @Ms Twitter November 26, 2013

      Your “worst enemy” means that among your other enemies you have one that is the worst one.

      That is what the lady said about her ex’s girlfriend to her. Why is this so hard for you to conceive?

  20. grell
    November 26, 2013

    move on and get over it,stop putting yourself so low for a man that has his woman.

  21. November 26, 2013

    My girl just move on with your life.. There are loads of nice guys out there..

    • Opinionated
      November 26, 2013

      Loads of “nice” guys? Really?

      They say that there are many fishes in the sea; I say beware of the Parana, lion fish, sharks etc.

      If there are “loads” of nice men and women why is the divorce rate so high? Very nice eh!

      • Mahaut
        November 26, 2013

        Sad you would say something like this. I can proudly say I have a really wonderful guy.
        When you have a man you can reason and discuss a situation with and come to a conclusion or a fix to a problem. Sex is not all but a mutual understanding where you meet each other halfway.
        My man takes really good care of me I have no reason to stray. He makes me cry out and my toes really curl, I have no need to work so hell yeah he is a great guy.

      • Bambolion
        November 26, 2013

        :) There are good men,good women some where about,we just never been to the right place to find them yet,If a man step out your life,definitely is for the better…He was just a hair brush for the coming of mr right.

  22. Anonymous
    November 26, 2013

    I didnt get it,u wrote a letter to dear Bella for this?! Seriously ?? NEXT!

  23. SADIST
    November 26, 2013

    ALAS====gril u just proved what a low self esteem u have. u said he is yuh ex y r u killing yourself over him and your enemy?

  24. Fatty boof
    November 26, 2013

    My dear you can do one of two things,continue being sorry for yourself in the gwo pwell or get someone else and move on with your young life.

  25. Anonymous
    November 26, 2013

    blehhhh, get a life

    • love
      November 27, 2013

      That is so mean!

  26. Love I
    November 26, 2013

    U are just a little jealous, because he is seeing someone else, good…move on, someone out there is waiting for you…

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