He only wants sex

Dear Bella: I need some advice about a situation I am in. Currently I am a working woman and because of my job I don’t have much time for relationships. However, I grew up in a Christian home where I was taught to respect myself and not just give myself away for free.

Recently, this man has started coming to my work place and flirting with me. I gave him my number; we spoke on the phone all the time and I started to fall for him. However, when I did some research, I found out that he lives with his girl friend who has two children for him. When I confronted him he said he didn’t want to spoil a good thing by telling me, and that he really likes me.

He told me that he’s not going to leave his girlfriend but he doesn’t see any reason why as two adults we can’t have some ‘fun’ discreetly. To be honest Bella I could do with some ‘fun’ in my life and I figure if we keep it a secret there are no victims involved.

What should I do?

Dear miss,

As a young adult you should know what is done in darkness will come to light, and what you do with this man will come out one way or the other. You sound like a respectable woman and it’s clear that he is only trying to get in your pants. YHe only sees you as a potential booty call. I don’t have to spell it out for you, because you are already aware of his situation.  Putting yourself up to this man intimately will only make you more attached to him emotionally. Usually a girl can feel strongly for a man if he is her first sexual partner and regarding this circumstance it will only end up in heartache for you. It’s clear: “he’s not going to leave his girlfriend.”

As a Christian then you must be strong not to stray from your beliefs. I’m sure there are many single guys out there you can get to know and share a relationship with and be committed to as a Christian would, rather than have to be looking over your shoulders and worrying if some crazy woman is going to call you up at your workplace or confront you in public. Save this embarrassment to avoid being known as a ‘home-wrecker.’

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19 Comments

  1. September 7, 2011

    What is wrong with these Christians they know what they should not do and they behave like non Christians with babaric passions screwing around like bitches in heat,they suppose to be vergins when they mary but do thigs in secret like devils.
    Why they dont accept they are born Sinners and are like everyone bound for the fire if they dont prepare their body for salvation for a sprit that is accepted above by the WORD of the LORD so their sprit can rest in peace `1PET i.23 The Lord is not interested in sprits of sinners,but a body well prepard for creation.
    Saying you dont have time for relationships why play with fire allowing this man to screw in what is holy,did not your religeon teach you to save your body for the Lord, and you must have faith so you dont end in everlastig flames.
    You have not prepared your body you are a hypocrit with malice envie,and want to slander the man who want you and him to screw in secrete like a devil.
    Shame on you,repent and put your life in order if you want to rest in peace on the earth and have faith in the Lord to save you and trust no Pastor or priest to save you they are all born in Sin.like this man who like to do things in secrete like devils. :wink: :( :cry: 8) :-? :-x :twisted: :?:

  2. September 25, 2010

    Thank you for sharing, good lucky for you.

  3. mints
    July 21, 2010

    u need to leave pple man if u say u ah christian u wldnt even give it ah 2nd thought

  4. MAYA
    June 25, 2010

    girl you make me shame,the man already tell you he don't want you ,by telling you he will not live his woman.It's women like you who give women a bad name.I cannot stand women like you,. always want people man.He should be my man and you would get fun in your skin if it's fun you want.

  5. Duguitc
    June 24, 2010

    mamselle have a kicks

  6. 123
    June 24, 2010

    girl leave de person man alone. u

  7. sahlop
    June 24, 2010

    Maybe looking for one who milk the cow and feed the pigs..Good luck 2010.

  8. Anticom
    June 24, 2010

    woman well take your thing and shut your mouth

  9. kindd
    June 23, 2010

    After reading this article that brings me to the point i always say, that women break relationships not men..If a man is telling u that he has a gf and he will not leave his gf and u r still thinking of persuing that relationship u the woman is responsible for destroying this man's family..Men will always try to make break or talk in a womans head but at the end of the day its up to the woman to say no..we as women have a choice to say no..
    the best advise i can give u young lady, plz leave this man alone cuz if u were in his gf place u wouldnot want anyone to come between u all..there r many good men out dere..trust me u will find one that will love u for who u r and u will be able to have all the fun u want with him..

    If the women were saying no to all the married men or commited men out dere alot of marriages wld be saved..
    (think about dat)
    Anyway young lady move on with ur life and leave this man alone..bcu z he is a damn cheater..he is tryin to cheat with u, on his gf..he doesnt deserve u..

  10. Nhatame
    June 23, 2010

    De woman never say she is a christian, she say she grow up in a christian home. Everybody big. But de way I see it mamselle have a little secret saloptay in her, for her to be considering that kind trouble as fun. If is fun you want take a trip, go and soak in de sea, have a cook out or something. Anytime you go and coupay that man, is a serious gopwell and corboss problem you looking for. But like I say everybody big, full your belly with fun, but mind we doh see you writing bella two months later about how you going church 7 days a week to pray for God to deliver you from Gopwell and Corbos. Some of all you woman just too sot, sex for fun is playing with fire.

  11. WOW
    June 23, 2010

    Girl best you had never say you grow up in a Christian home, cause growing up in such a place , would have taught you the value of your body, the meaning of fornication and that breaking a family is not one of the things of God's list, i think you need to take the pastor to court for not teaching you the morals of life. on a serious note, leave this guy alone and there a lot of other ways to have fun without hurting people espically two children, keeping it on the low neve works, whatever happens in the dark,must come in the light, think of that.

  12. June 23, 2010

    I notice three serious problem with this young lady…. FIRST- She is struggling with keeping herself pure as a christian and is at a desperate point. SECOND… she is spiritually blind and cannot see the OBVIOUS attack of the enemy to trap her with this man who has walked into her life sent by the devil himself. THREE. She is very foolish and needs urgent help to make her see the furnace of fire she is walking right into. Three traps that man is sending her way. ONE, to take away her purity and make her a reproach and shame in her church, family, friends and community. TWO, to bring calamity and trouble in her life because of his girlfriend and thus making it difficult for her to find a good guy or any for that matter to respect her. THREE, to break her down and take away her self-worth and self-esteem, bringing her to a point where she feels worthless and thus end up making bad decisions as a result of this. NOW it would take people who truely loves her to help her out, BUT she is setting herself up for a terrible painful situation. GOD HELP AND DELIVER HER!

  13. Realist
    June 23, 2010

    Girl i know u pass it already. It was soo nice so u writing Bella… If it nice do it TWICE.

  14. Sweetness4life
    June 23, 2010

    Girl friend, take it from me. DO NOT get caught up in that tangled web. Yes we all need fun in our lives, but think is it worth it. You will have good fun immediately, but you will open up yourself to a world of hurt and pain, bitterness and anger.

  15. younger man in dominica
    June 23, 2010

    lol girlfriend a little noukiee that not nothing lol pass it pdp

  16. BrownSugar
    June 23, 2010

    girl dont get ur self into any situation u wil regret. next thing u know som crazy b.. is stalking you and embarrassing u in public for just having fun. and furthur more u say ur a christian so tell the devil to get out! if u want fun in ur life look for a good man and then get married and have some clean fun.

  17. Jsbinterest
    June 23, 2010

    Since you know who you are, you know exactly what to do, abstain from fornication, right? but then you want a little fun, it seems that you are very tempted, the thing I always say is that we all have control

  18. sweet-thing01
    June 23, 2010

    STAY away from this guy u will only hurt your self girl TRUST me i'have been there.

  19. look laylay
    June 23, 2010

    For you to even contemplate being with this guy because you need a lil fun in your life is very disrespectful. And you regard yourself as a christian, you are going to interfere with a union, they hv kids together. Furthermore u cannot say u are a christian and want to hv sex before marriage, worse again with someone you know will not materialise into a serious relationship.
    I personally think you wrote this article for fun because for someone who is educated, u sound really dumb.
    So please go to church and pray everyday for wisdom as you clearly need it.

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