I am falling in love with a guy but we are both not single
Dominica News Online - Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 at 11:33 AM
I have always dated guys that are younger than me or the exact same age.
Like many of the women out there I have gotten hurt by a man. I said to myself that I won’t ever be able to love so deeply and trust anyone again. I guess I was wrong.
About a year and a month ago I started talking to this man who is about seven years my senior ( I am 27). We became friends and would talk to each other via Blackberry all day. Slowly but surely my feelings for this guy keep growing. For some reason I believe everything that comes from his mouth.
The thing is I live in the United States and he is back home in Dominica. I know that I love this guy and I am definitely falling in love with him. We see each other via Skype, we tell each other ‘I love you,’ we trust each other, we have told each other that we are not single.
I am planning on visiting him sometime this year. However we are totally different from each other, he loves going out with his friends and I am more the home buddy. He is reserved and I have more of a crazy side to me. I guess I write all this to get your input on things.
Do you think we should continue our relationship and see what happens? what do you think?
Need Answers
Dear Need Answers
This seems like two people falling in love and who can eventually work out their differences but my big concern is the fact that you mention that you two tell each other that you both are not single.
And that is where it gets sticky.
If you two are not single but are falling in love with each other, then somewhere down the line someone is going to get hurt. Either your partner or the guy’s partner is going to find about what is going on and this is where the fireworks will begin.
I encourage you to look at your present relationship and also to encourage the guy to look at his own. You two cannot just go falling in love with each other when the two of you are still involved with someone else. It is a recipe for disaster.
If things are not working in both your present relationships, then both of you can get out and then start anew. But to start a relationship when you are already in one, is not a good thing.
Bella
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61 Comments
Those women that living overseas have a dirty habit of throwing themselves on man that already haave their women, even married people. Woman stay in your country and leave the man alone.ecause you have money you throwing yourself at the man, It is al you so that spreading STD’s and breaking up families. Leave the woman’s man alone. Home wrecker. Have you no shame. You will get the same thing you doing to this relstionship. WHAT LOVE BB is love now…DRAT!!!!1
@sandy……she and the guy fell in love…they both consider themselves not single as in they are a couple …..what home is she recking lolz ….need answers just dont make it a long distance relationship for to long come and get you man before someone does
This is an easy one. Apparently you’ve never had sex with this guy, so technically you are not cheating neither is he. Opposites do attract, it also creates a balance. You’re honest with each other about current relationships but not honest with your current lovers. Suggest an open relationship to your man before you start cheating with another (he’ll get the picture, you might get more attention out of it too). Ask that guy in Dominica to do the same with his woman (If his intention is to use you and just wants a fling he’s not going to, but if he genuinely feels attracted to you as a woman not just for sex, he will). After your vacation you can always tell your man in the US you don’t want to see anyone else and that you prefer to go back to how things were. By that time he may be seeing someone else or waiting for you. At least you took a test drive was honest. Now have an open door to see other people while keeping your boyfriend without cheating. Everybody wins.
@Pussina Girl did you invite Truth and Love into our conversation you and I making our little joke there A and B conversation and other people invite themselves into the party whossss mind me wiiii papa
Affairs of the heart are not so easy to end or to get over.
How did she meet and/or connect with this man? She did not state if they are both married, are single, dating or cohabiting with a partner?
She must also ask him what are his plans for the future and if it may entail her. Is he planning to have an affair with her with no commitments? He may play the game, wait and see, etc.
Lady, all I can inform you is to have a heart-to-heart conversation with this man prior to both of you meeting.
He may be tired of his present relationship with the other woman and is looking for an affair to tide him over. You do not know if he is also playing the field in the area where he resides. He may not be truthful to you. Avoid being disappointed.
If you both decide to meet you will have to bear the consequences, one way or the other. Do not blame him if it does not work as you may perceive.
CHPUES CHUPES NEXT STORY BELLA….WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME READING THIS SHIT.
Who asked you to read it and to comment? Then do not read it and do not be sarcastic about it. Who are you anyway to make such a statement? What you do not appreciate others will and vice versa.
i BELEIVE DAT WOMAN IS A SAC SALOP
Anonymous
What about you? What is your lifestyle like? I do think that such a derogatory comment should be disallowed on this Website.
If I was mista I would as you to send me a barrel every dame month with shoes for my wife, nice sheets for the bed, nice curtains, bathroom mats, cartoon of carnation milk, a new web cam, Christmas toys for all his kids if he has any, oh top up his phone too, and money to clear it from custom…and threaten to tell your man in the US if you don’t…..
They say love don’t cost a thing…. he should prove you wrong…..
you too dam sot..fix what you have at home ….
People like you that cause man/woman not to trust…their partners..to go to wash room to shit alone…
SOT….
VERY FUNNY..LOL..ASK HER TO SEND BARREL FOR HIM..HAHA, aLLU DOMINICANS HAVE JOKES!!1LOL..
You know you right anonymous and if I was in her shoes I would just send whatever you ask every month just to prove my love for you especially how the items don’t cost a thing in the U.S. I would be so afraid that you would tell my husband that I would top up your phone and give you my husband number so you could call him. Eh beh look ammunition I giving you fuss I love you so much
Another thing boss if you cheat and your woman don’t trust you don’t blame it on someone else. Nothing stopping you from blocking the other woman from having access to you.
Bella got the wrong interperetation. Or i guess i did not write it properly. we are currently not in any relationship. We are saying we are not single as in. He is my boyfriend and i am his girlfriend.
Ok Puss still don’t get your point.. You all loving or what. have you all had sex before these are the questions you need to answer Pusin.
Any relationship out of marriage is a cursed one, if one is courting for marriage then that’s different, however, once an individual is having premarital sex then the relationship is cursed by Allah unless the couple seek sincere repentance.
One may be in a relationship where there is money and romantic fancies, however, this is mere pleasures, not true joy. Joy, love and true happiness can never come from fornication and disobedience to Allah.
Lastly, I hope both current partners find out about this secret filth you both are into so that they will learn a lesson not to mess around with disloyal people.
what? muslim let me tell you what about the 20 virgins? you mad… i want all now i mean right now let me test them for later.
@ Muslim
Are you stating that you never had sex outside of marriage? How hypocritical could some of you be. So because you so-called converted to Islam does this mean that you were so pious?
Hopefully when you plan on meeting him in DA, his wife or girlfriend will be there to MASH UP your freaking face! SALPET!
@ Tetemorne I from…
There you go being judgmental and utilizing unbecoming words on this Website which depicts what type of person you are. I would believe you if I knew who you are and what type of life you have lived and are presently living. Until then, I denounce your statement. God knows who you are and what type of life you live.
WHAT A MESS TWO CHEATERS. I DON’T CALL THIS
LOVE ITS JUST AM FLING. HE JUST A PIECE OF
THE PIE. GIRL WHEN GREEN CARD IS IN THE PIC-
TURE THERE IS MOCHO LOVE DON’T MAKE A MISTAKE
THAT YOU WILL REGRET LATER.
Well you never know sometime too the man she have up in the states maybe he giving her green card as well who knows just saying
WHOSSSSSSSSSS Eve papa you not good for that one. Did the man you have in the US give you your green card too or your landing papers..whosssss Eve mine me puss..
Pussina what is wrong with you?
I got my papers through my mother. I was just saying she herself probably not on solid ground with papers. Pussina whosss girl you have too much fire 
Whossssss Eve you not easy you know puss. You sure is your mother that give you papers.. I will call immigration to confirm. whossssssss..LOL
@ Eve
Negative.
@ Pat
Some of you give advice when you make the identical mistakes.
womannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
leave my father and his family aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
just ambush that….
You are a contradiction and thats the reason you putting yourself in one!!
I would advise to keep both honey…one in Dominica and one in the States…when you want to go to Dominica ask him to pay that ticket girl and have a blast. Then you go back to the US and carry on with your day like nothing happened…that guy just might want green card..I’ve seen it happen too many times. Keep him on the back burner as a side thing hon cause it’s clear you’re not ready to settle down. If you did, you find that one man you’re head over hills for be with him…have fun and use lots and lots of Condoms.
LMFAO. U advice is classic. LOL. LOL
What a filthy advice! Shame!
NICE ONE STRAIGHT TO THE POINT….BUT IN SHORT…
the man must plug her and turn his back your arse….
@ Comment
It is not so easy to get a Green Card as it was in those days. It is not so easy to get a landed status. Read the US news of all. I do think that all progressive countries are clamping down on immigrants due to the influx of immigrants, some by plane and boat loads and the amount of trouble which some immigrants have created. Consider the U.S., Canada and Europe.
Those who hope to marry others who reside in those countries have a lot to prove about their authenticity of love.
Prior to making such statements read more and do your research. You have a computer and you should be able to access such information.
Quote; We became friends and would talk to each other via Blackberry all day. Slowly but surely my feelings for this guy keep growing.”
U have never met this guy, communication is via blackberry and skype yet still u r in love.
Quote; “he loves going out with his friends; He is reserved”; ” I am more the home buddy; I have more of a crazy side to me.”
I am confused here. Oh and u r 27. WOW
There is sthing missing in that picture.
HER STORY IS REALLY CONTRADICTING !!! SHE SHOULD PROOF READ BEFORE SHE SUBMITTED…OR MAYBE SHE IS JUST CONFUSED!!!
The fact is through communication she developed a loving feeling for him. This is not impossible. It could happen to anyone. Use your common sense and judgment.
IF WOMAN KNOW THEIR VALUE, THEY WILL NEVER LET MAN HAVE THEM LIKE DOTISH, TEBBEH ALAWLAW.
YOU DOMINICANS MUST STOP ENCOURAGING DIRTINESS.What you will not like for yourself or your family dont put it on someone.As far as i can see,is two liers that is in that relationship.fooling themselves and each other.
all i can say is someone want a visa, and as soon as he get it, [ is to hell with you]
Can u say green card lol Dont worry about it I’ve seen it a hundred times he will surely ask u to marry him .. .he will get his green card and then leave your ass whoop whoop!!
yah and for a white woman too
At 20 years old, you sound like you are in a relationship of jeopardy. You are jeopardizing your emotions of youth, and probably making a mistake–as usual–of calling it love.
But what does we are both “not single” means to you? For me this means you are both married.
Otherwise if it is that you have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend, why has the both of you not decided to get out those relationships, to have your freedom together–after all you two are claiming to love each other. And Love is the primary aspect of a relationship.
However with the two of you in relationships–whatever the situation–let us hope that love is not an excuse for what one of you are trying to do to the other.
You mentioned that you are in the United States of A, and he is still in Dominica. You also mentioned the two of you not having a few things in coming. Without the desire to compromise, that aspect can be a weapon against the relationship between the two of you.
At your age, I would suggest that you make sure that love is not an excuse for what you, and this young man as well, is doing.
For though it may seem right to tell yourselves that you love each other, wrongs can still mount up one by one; and someone else may have to pay.
So be very carefull! Make sure that this relationship is not like a game of jeopardy, that could go on for much too long; and love will not be the excuse for the things that you two will have done.
Liz people don’t just leave one for the other just like that they first test the waters if you know what I mean
CORRECTION 27 YRS OLD…YOUR DOCUMENTARIES GOES ON FOREVER…..SHE KNOWS THAT WHAT SHE IS DOING IS WRONG, SHE NEED NO ONE TO JUSTIFY HER WRONG DOING…..
I CAN BET YOU SHE IS COMMENTING ON HER OWN ARTICLE…. ATTENTION HE/SHE IS LOOKING FOR..WHO EVERY WROTE THIS FOOLISHNESS..
Unavailable man! Your having an emotional connection, probably filling a void that doesn’t exist in your relationship. You have no idea how many other women he’s communicating with via international love. At some point you need to ask yourself are you getting your ego stroked by him, or are you just infatuated. A man will show you love not tell you. What has he done to show you he loves you, besides the obvious texts and web cam sessions. Actions speak louder than words. Men are not like women. Do you think a man can remain committed to you overseas but not to his local girlfriend?
Internet love could sometimes feel better than local love, trust me
Here we go and you hit the nail right on the head same crap I’m trying to tell people who think the overseas love is golden
I would say tread carefully and cautiously I for one not for the long distance relationship unless its short term. Shit happens and I have seen too many people get hurt putting their faith and trust in people who are far away from them. People went crazy, but again to each his own.
what you can do ,have one in america and the other in da is easy when u come to dominica u get enough to last a year.y ask bella u going to try it
you can have your man overs and your man d/ca. men do it all the time so why cant we
The answer is in ur name; women r the ones who loose grip. (their pussy get slack, they become like well) U sound ……..
Papa get a grip to advising the person child to be a salop..lord help us..
“I am falling in love with a guy but we are both not single…. Slowly but surely my feelings for this guy keep growing.” My question for you is, Is he falling in love with you?
Let’s just hope that you are not a ticket out of Dominica…cause trust me…things like that happen all the time.
Word of advice – be careful!
I so agree with you Bella. Young Lady please take care of your business at home before you go out and have another relationship. Be honest with the person that you are with right now; tell them how you feel because it’s apparent that your present relationship is not working out or else you wouldn’t fall in love with someone else.
Well Bellla i would tell her that she need to seek what is near to her so she won’t have the problems of being miles away and stressing herself over de man..
And Miss/Mister ADMIN delete my message…watch i watching you carmem…
ADMIN you see that thing there. I will send lawyer papa for you. Why are you editing my comments for.
Lol..Pusina you making me laff. lol
Sparkless ADMIN trying to make break behind me and more i tell that i dow want it is more that do things to upset me.whosssssssss
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