Dear BellaMy boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for six years and we never had sex.

Throughout this whole time it was never mentioned whether I was a virgin or not, he just thought that I was.

Now that he is leaving Dominica to work overseas I finally confessed to him that I am not a virgin.

He did react in anyway and up to now I don’t know what he thinks about it.

I am very scared that he will dump me and go for another girl.

I am also feeling guilty because I think this guy, whom I love very much, need someone pure, not sloppy seconds.

I really don’t want to lose this guy and I need to protect my relationship.

What is your suggestion?



Dear Lost,

I find it rather strange that you two have been in a relationship for six years and have not move beyond the ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ stage. I would think after being in a relationship for so long the two of you would have moved to marrying, settling down and starting a family. What is keeping you from going to that stage, you did not mention and I would love to know.

Needless to say, my issue here is you desribing yourself as ‘sloppy seconds.’ You are already your own worse enemy by bringing yourself down so low. You need to get over that because I am sure your boyfriend sees you in a  different light.

Once you get over that degrading way you described yourself, you need to have an indepth talk with your boyfriend. I am quite sure he will understand that the issue never came up and hence it was never discussed. I think it is something that can be worked out if the two of you are honest and willing to forget the past and move on.


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