I am a 13-year-old and I think I have an eating disorder because I make myself sick after every meal I eat.
My parents don’t know anything about it this and I am very afraid to tell them.
My friend told me to see a counselor about it but I just don’t feel comfortable telling some stranger my problem.
I presently weigh 95 pounds and I am 5-ft,3-in tall. I know this is underweight for my age and height but I am scared to eat.
I have always been a picky eater since I was eight years old and the problem just got worse.
I once tried committing suicide, because of bullying in school.
Please help, I don’t know what to do.
Scared
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Dear Scared,
It is difficult to know if you have a diagnosable eating disorder. Whether or not you have an eating disorder would be best determined by having a psychiatric evaluation.
It does seem as though you may be struggling with disordered eating. I define disordered eating as having an abnormal relationship with food. Your inability to control your behavior around food would qualify as disordered eating.
My recommendation is first you talk to your parents and to consult a therapist. I’m suggesting therapy for several reasons. The first is to determine if you have a mental health disorder. A therapist can evaluate your symptoms and determine if you match the clinical criteria for an eating disorder diagnosis.
Secondly, a therapist can assist you in developing the necessary skills to control your behavior towards food.
You need to address this problem as soon as you possibly can before it can have destructive effects on your body.
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
Eating disorders are caused by an delusion. People see pictures of attractive people on the glossy pages of magazines or on the screen and compare themselves to them. They imagine they are by comparison too thin or too fat and begin stuffing or starving themselves. This is sometimes where demons take advantage of their vanity and false values to drive their behavior.
When this happens there is both a natural and a spiritual side to the condition. Both should be treated. It is wise to see a physician. However the “victim” should also turn to God for deliverance. Receive the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. See an evangelical pastor who does counseling and prays for the sick and let him or her minister to you.
Visit our website http://www.livinghopeministries.ca and click onto the EAGLE COURSE. It can be studied from he screen. Start at lesson one and follow it through ACTING upon the instructions of each lesson.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist…
you definitely need to seek help. An eating disorder is no laughing matter and should not be taken lightly. Alot of young women suffer with eating disorders and it has alot to do with the media and in her case a coping mechanism for he bullying.
Another sham of a story…how u know you underweight for your height? You read up on it man? You know what you are doing..stop it. Your story have too much holes…you don’t want to tell your parent or a counselor, but your friend knows and Bella? Come on give me a break. I’m fed-up with these stories…
Stop being ridiculous… haven’t you ever heard of height to eight ratio?? read a book for once. Her ideal weight for her height is about 133. If you have an eating disorder child, get help. This is dangerous. Talk to somebody about it. I can relate to you because I also have an eating disorder. I am a binge eater. I am not overweight, I look amazing, but I know that I have a problem and I go to therapy for it. Believe it or not eating disorders are very common, especially among teenagers and it is a real problem.
You don’t want to tell Counselor , but is Bella you coming and blab your story too? That makes no sense whatsoever, Bella when you coming up with story,make sure all the points make sense eh…Ebeh..
My dear child you are still growing. Your body needs the nutrients for you to continue to develop properly. Good nutrition is very important for you at this time in your life because you will soon go or re going through puberty. You need the love of your parents, the love of God and the help of a counselor. Please do not take your life. Pray and talk to someone you can trust. I feel sorry for you, we need our young Dominicans for our future.
i’d advise you to sign up with a modeling agency but at 5’3 you too short, which means you need to eat. tall and skinny combination makes money not short and skinny.
how all u no is a girl
#scared
Just to let you know that my son had the habit of keeping his concerns from me even if he lived with me. He continued with that habit right into adulthood–he is now 31 years old.
When he moved out from living with me last July, he decided to lock out his father and me from his Life, even if he became sick; almost to the point of death, if God was not on his side for my sake. That is the way of God’s Love to those whom He has chosen for Himself.
If a young man did find my son outside of his home building and to rush him to a hospital–I am quite sure that he would be dead today.
He was so swollen and blind as well from the causes of neglected diabetes, and improper diet which caused low iron level in his blood, that problem caused him to be anemic.
The young man, whom I am sure was God’s angel, to save my son’s Life–for my sake– found ways to contact his father and me–because I had sent him messages wanting to know how he was doing; by that time he could not respond, he was blind, but he lived very far from us. Because of his mentality, his father and I did not want to interfere in his Life, as an adult.
Right now he is back with me because of his blindness and other health conditions, I can only give thanks to God that He saved his Life for me.
So take that information as my advice to you. Your health is very important. Saying you are scared will not save your Life.
Your parents have to know about this problem of yours–you are only 13 years old. Please talk to anyone and everyone who might be able to help you out–for what you need right now is help; and you need it urgently.
Bella’s advice is excellent. Do speak to your parents about your problem. I hope that you have a loving communication relationship with them. You should not leave them out of this. If they knew, they would be concerned about you and would want whatever is best for you. You need therapy but first, an evaluation.
You may be a picky eater. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you eat what is nutritious. As a child, it wasn’t everything I enjoyed eating. I had my preferences but my parents would ensure that I ate them. Today, some of what I did not like to eat, not because I am forced to but because I developed a taste for them, I find that they are delicious and nutritious. They have become part of my grocery shopping. In this case you are not alone. Many of us have had food preferences but we do not deny ourselves nutritious food.
Teenager, please pay heed to Bella. There may be another underlying problem other than a picky eater. I wonder if it caused by bullying?
You have an addiction and it is anorexic. Please do not be shy or ashamed to seek professional help. Many children/women throughout the world are undergoing the identical problem.
Are you a female or male? I have seen pictures on TV about such teenagers/women. Sadly so they are pathetic. Face the facts, some are beyond assistance and some have passed on.
I have yet to read and hear about boys/men who have that problem. They are only girls/women. Why is that? The trend is to be slim and to keep slim and attractive. Well, your health comes first and should immediately be attended to. This is fine if one so wishes to be slim but you do need to eat nutritious foods to supply your body with necessary health and strength.
You are a student I hope and you need all the necessary peace of mind and strength to complete your studies and graduate. For your sake, future health, strength and life, please see a therapist, a counselor in that field with no hesitation and discuss your concern about bullying. If you pay heed, in time, you will save yourself a lot of stress, be restored to a normal eating habit and a happy way of life. I wish you well and that you will overcome this type of eating habit. God wants what is best for you, for all his children whether young or old (er). God bless you!
Scared,
I know what you are going through. When I was about 13-14 I started making myself sick after eating because I did not want to get fat. Interestingly, I learnt that shortly after we got Marpin and it was being talked about on some t.v. program. Immediately, the bells went off and I thought this was my ticket to get skinny. The sad thing is that I was already skinny. Honestly – true story. I did that for a year and never told anyone – not even my siblings or friends. I was only able to take steps to stop because my mother caught me in the act one morning. So sometimes, the best way to deal with a problem is to let someone know. It’s tough being a teenager but billions have survived it and you can too. The mere fact that you wrote to Bella shows that you recognize that your beviour is unhealthy. Take the second step. Reach out to someone who can help you. It gets better … trust me!
This is a psychiatric condition called Anorexia Nervosa. There is usually an underlying issue related to control. Maybe sexual, physical or emotional abuse. She said that she was being bullied. The patient feels that this is the one aspect of their life that they can control so they do so by not eating.Many times they may have a skewed view of their body image. This is a serious condition and if left unchecked can lead to death related to malnourishment or suicide. Urgent Pychological and Medical help is needed.
I think the bullying is really affecting her. I will pray for her, that she will get help for whatever may be wrong.
Vanity, false values, and unreasonable comparisons open the mind to illusion and even demonic influence. We encourage seeing a medical doctor or mental health professional. But because of the spiritual side of the problem it is also good to connect to a Bible believing church where they pray for the sick and have a deliverance ministry.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.
girl go and Eat some fig and dasheen
I don’t know y some people think the worst of a situation or negativity of it. She doesn’t have to be to young to through these situation and she doesn’t have to be influenced by television or American life. Situations takes place based on past history or past negative experiences. She might have been a lil weighty before and been teased or made fun of at an early age. There for causing her to feel like food is the enemy or everytime she eats a bit feel like she is going to.put on 50lbs. My dear child I.encourage you to consult ur parents first and ask to help you help yourself. If they don’t take you serious take it upon ur self to look for help
They are many that can help. People in the family health department or so on. If not you face a tough life coming ahead and things will get worse. It could go as far as you becoming anorexic or even early death
Hello Scared,
This eating issue must be a real ordeal for you and that you are being bullied at school. We admire your courage and decision in not taking your life. Once there is life there is hope.
There must be a reason why you chose not to tell your parents. What I can suggest if you are in Dominica do visit the ministry on Cornwall Street. There are some wonderful ladies who would be more than happy to listen and work with you.
You are not alone ‘scared’ and it only takes a little mustard seed of faith and self conviction. You can do it!
Great advice
U need to tell your parents and also seek professional help beacuse this is a serious problem .also some conselling is a good idea and pray to God for guidance and help
oh so bella is a friend? u said u dont feel comfortable telling a stranger.. smh.. little girl stop with the drama.. eat some good food.. idk why u all are so easily influenced by american bad habits!! in de good old days @ age 13 u try committing suicide???? oh plz! seek help go country by granny make her fatten u up
wow with that kind of therapeutic advice you must be a billionaire with patients lining up the sidewalk!
You do realize you are speaking to a young impressionable child right? sometimes we must learn to temper our PERFECT selves or stay quiet
It is this type of mentality reflected in your comments that prevents people from confiding in someone. I’m sure you can find something more constructive to share.
She prefers being anonymous…you have a problem with that? If she has a problem with food…it is not solved by telling her to go eat it…grow a brain, then a heart and ONLY THEN should you open your big mouth.
um..Good old days??? I beg 2 differ.
Anorexia and Bulimia are not “American bad habits”. They are psychiatric conditions that affect people all over the world. Many times because the young person feels that food and weight are the only things they CAN control. If they have no control over their family life, then it makes sense they wrote to Bella for help before going to their family or friends.
And your reference to the “good old days” is ridiculous. These 2 diseases have been around for centuries they were just largely ignored. Or treated as flippantly as you just did.
This individual needs to see a doctor