I am not from Dominica but I read Dominica News Online every day. I have a situation that I would like you to help me with if you can. Maybe your readers can shed some light on the subject.
Ok Here goes…
I am not married but has been with my boyfriend for some time and we have one child.
I do sleep around but not often. I have two guys, one my child’s father and he is a nice guy, good looking.
The other is a prominent figure in my community, has his own home and buys me all I need and want. We make passionate love and sex with no protection. He makes me feel like a queen.
The thing is I do not feel that way with my child’s father at all, yes he takes care of me and his child but all he does is nag nag nag. To get away from all that nagging I strayed, many times and now I am partly living with both of them. My child’s father does not know about the other man but the other man knows about my child father and he wants me to leave my child’s father but I will not.
What I am trying to say is Bella is that I have contracted the virus that causes AIDS and I do not know how to tell anyone one of them. I am not sure from who I got it but I have it. At first I thought I was under stress having two men and all but then I keep on getting fever and is always sick and tired. Finally I went to see a doctor and we did some test. I got the news three months ago that I have the Virus.
It can be treated but I am so sacred. I am telling you I am sacred.
I have NOT been with my child father from since I found out but I am still sleeping with my prominent man. I know what you all are saying but if I don’t give him sex he takes it anyway and tells me I am giving my child father and he is going to go see him and tell him about us. So to avoid any problems I give him what he wants.
I know that is bad but anyway I cannot sleep with my child’s father because I love him too much but I do not know how to tell the two of them I have the virus.
Bella What do I say to them, how do I say it to them. Can you advise?
Thank you and hoping to hear you and the people voice so I can get the courage to say something.
This is a very serious matter and the health of many people close to you are at risk. There is a lot that can be said to you but in the interest of space, I will keep it short.
First of all you need to tell both your child’s father and prominent man of your status. This should be done sooner, rather than later. Knowing that revealing your status to these men is going to have enormous impact get a third party who knows of your status to help you. It could be a counselor, a doctor, a pastor or priest. This could help ease or avoid ‘the heat of the moment’ when you reveal your status.
If you want to continue having sex I implore you to practice safe sex. You can prevent the spread of HIV.
Now it is important that you find a good doctor, possibly an HIV specialist – one that can monitor immune system and your disease. Build a good relationship with that doctor so he or she can give you the best possible care.
The key to living with HIV is to learn as much about HIV as you can. The old saying goes “Knowledge is Power” and never has that been more true than when you are HIV+. By understanding your disease you can take control of your life instead of letting HIV take control of you.
Being HIV+ is not the end of your life. Medication is available. The key is how you continue living your life.
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