I need to “get a life”

Dear Bella: I’m trying to figure out how soon after a break-up I should start dating.

I’m a female in my 20’s and I’ve recently came out of a very dramatic, stressful relationship three months ago. My male partner and I were together for three years. That was quite painful, but I have feelings and actually need to get a life, instead of sulking and shunning everyone, as my friends say.

Anxious to date.

Dear Anxious to date,

Apparently you are yearning some fun and excitement – something that will divert you from being so depressed about your former relationship. I suggest you start calling up a few of your friends and plan a night out; whether it be a night to get a light drink or a weekend where you can do an all nighter socializing. This will eventually create the avenue for you to meet potential dates.

However, you do not want to come off as too desperate, given your anxiousness. Also I’m sure you don’t want to get into anything which will land you heartache.

Be careful as well because more often than not the guy you may find to be Prince Charming at first may turn out to be a jerk; if you’re looking for another serious relationship on the other hand you should give yourself time.

Bella.

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7 Comments

  1. Vieille Case in Florida
    April 20, 2010

    Anxious, YOU HAVE A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!A life is NOT a man. You’re young, take your time. You’re looking for something else, not a LIFE; you just got out of a three year painful relationship why put yourself in line for another painful relationship. The next one may not be but believe me, it might very well be. What’s the RUSH at 20? You can have the BEST life ever by yourself, until then LOVE YOURSELF. Remember you DO HAVE A LIFE, leave everything else in the hands of the LORD! Be GOOD to YOURSELF FIRST.

    • eh beh weh
      April 28, 2010

      i agree. some women think they need a man to complete them. u born alone. if u could not make it alone, everybody would meet their soul mate at birth.

  2. April 14, 2010

    its seems like this article was writen for us all cause i am in da same situation.was in a relationship for 4 yrs with this guy and we broke up almost 1 yr ago. and i am still so very anxious to come across a really really good guy but that just dont seem to happen.im getting extremely lonely and it hurts so bad. and my ex has moved has moved on already.

  3. ms spontaneous
    April 13, 2010

    My girl u write that for me man de only diffrence is I came out of the three yrs with a chil and its only three weeks and some days we are done. And its very depressin. I like de advice bella gave u thanks.

  4. Young Man in Dominica
    April 13, 2010

    I am very intrested in seeing/reading the female comments on this article before i comment what i really think lol, i was in a simular situation and the woman was up under her men in just about three weeks lol and we shared more than three years together.

    • Anonymous
      April 14, 2010

      Young man in dominica you sound like a jerk. lol

  5. hellooooooo
    April 13, 2010

    trust me girlfriend three months is too soon to start dating…go out with your girlfriends, drink a few, flirt with a few hot guys but keep it simple

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