Dear BellaI am in an extremely difficult situation here.

I have known this guy from since we were small children in primary school and over the years we got to “like” each other.

As we grew older the likeness for one another grew and since people always saw us together everyone just assumed that we were going to be lovers for life. I simply followed what everyone thought of us and we became ‘lovers’ in a sense, and we did everything lovers did.

But somehow deep inside me, I was never attracted to him because he was more like a brother to me. That feeling I keep burying and we appeared to be a happy couple.

Recently a high school friend from St. Maarten came to Dominica for a funeral and suddenly I was on fire for him. Although he stayed a week on island, it was a week of furious love making, which I never experienced with my boyfriend.

Probably after a month after he left, I realized I was pregnant. I am 99.9 percent sure the baby is not my boyfriend’s because we made love only once during the time I could get pregnant which was coincidentally the same time the St. Maarten guy was on island.

I still haven’t told my boyfriend I am pregnant as no signs are showing as yet. But I am afraid to tell since I know deep within the baby is not his.

I really don’t want to hurt that guy since I’ve known him for so long but reality will be striking soon.

What is your opinion on this? Should I tell him or not?



Dear Lost,

You should tell him it’s not his. Why is not telling him even an option? Not telling him that you’re carrying some other guy’s baby is about the worst thing you can do. What, are you going to wait until the baby’s born and hope it works out when he realizes that it looks nothing like him?

There’s no nice way of doing this. You have to tell him the truth and hope that he still wants to be with you and raise a baby that is not his. Be prepared for him to dump you and want nothing to do with the baby. That is completely within his rights to do.

Be honest with him; tell him you love him and want to raise a child with him. Maybe he loves you enough to try to make it work. Maybe he wants  a child, and will be willing to overlook the fact that he’s raising the offspring of your week-long escapade. Honestly, I can’t really see that happening, but you never know.

Good luck


Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor