I think the baby is not his

Dear BellaI am in an extremely difficult situation here.

I have known this guy from since we were small children in primary school and over the years we got to “like” each other.

As we grew older the likeness for one another grew and since people always saw us together everyone just assumed that we were going to be lovers for life. I simply followed what everyone thought of us and we became ‘lovers’ in a sense, and we did everything lovers did.

But somehow deep inside me, I was never attracted to him because he was more like a brother to me. That feeling I keep burying and we appeared to be a happy couple.

Recently a high school friend from St. Maarten came to Dominica for a funeral and suddenly I was on fire for him. Although he stayed a week on island, it was a week of furious love making, which I never experienced with my boyfriend.

Probably after a month after he left, I realized I was pregnant. I am 99.9 percent sure the baby is not my boyfriend’s because we made love only once during the time I could get pregnant which was coincidentally the same time the St. Maarten guy was on island.

I still haven’t told my boyfriend I am pregnant as no signs are showing as yet. But I am afraid to tell since I know deep within the baby is not his.

I really don’t want to hurt that guy since I’ve known him for so long but reality will be striking soon.

What is your opinion on this? Should I tell him or not?

Lost

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

Dear Lost,

You should tell him it’s not his. Why is not telling him even an option? Not telling him that you’re carrying some other guy’s baby is about the worst thing you can do. What, are you going to wait until the baby’s born and hope it works out when he realizes that it looks nothing like him?

There’s no nice way of doing this. You have to tell him the truth and hope that he still wants to be with you and raise a baby that is not his. Be prepared for him to dump you and want nothing to do with the baby. That is completely within his rights to do.

Be honest with him; tell him you love him and want to raise a child with him. Maybe he loves you enough to try to make it work. Maybe he wants  a child, and will be willing to overlook the fact that he’s raising the offspring of your week-long escapade. Honestly, I can’t really see that happening, but you never know.

Good luck

Bella

Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor

Copyright 2012 Dominica News Online, DURAVISION INC. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.

Disclaimer: The comments posted do not necessarily reflect the views of DominicaNewsOnline.com and its parent company or any individual staff member. All comments are posted subject to approval by DominicaNewsOnline.com. We never censor based on political or ideological points of view, but we do try to maintain a sensible balance between free speech and responsible moderating.

We will delete comments that:

  • contain any material which violates or infringes the rights of any person, are defamatory or harassing or are purely ad hominem attacks
  • a reasonable person would consider abusive or profane
  • contain material which violates or encourages others to violate any applicable law
  • promote prejudice or prejudicial hatred of any kind
  • refer to people arrested or charged with a crime as though they had been found guilty
  • contain links to "chain letters", pornographic or obscene movies or graphic images
  • are off-topic and/or excessively long

See our full comment/user policy/agreement.

128 Comments

  1. sweet
    June 4, 2013

    hell yes! tell himm!

  2. Zion
    September 3, 2012

    So you don’t find it strange that all the time you and the “boyfriend” together,you not getting pregnant?? You better tell him its not his child, because he might not be able to have children, and look you appear like Mary with belly! Eh beh, its a shame. You too damn hottie!

  3. Anonymous
    September 2, 2012

    I must come up with a story for bella….and soon..

  4. FireBella
    September 1, 2012

    Bella gets me so mad…why don’t u advice the girl to get a DNA test because there is still a possibility the child could be her boyfriends. whether they did it once or more it only takes one time for her to get pregnant girl tell u man u cheated on him and ur pregnant u dunno if the child is his or not stupes fire Bella eh, she just giving stupid advice!!!!

  5. Justice and Truth
    August 30, 2012

    When I read the comments about the young lade terminating the pregnancy, once again, I thought of an article that I read in a Catholic magazine. I remembered that I recently came across it when I was searching for a document and placed it in a folder. I looked for it where I thought I had placed it but that night it eluded me. I am a persistent person and thought that I will search for it the following day or evening and that it could not be far away.
    I was extremely busy yesterday and did not have time to do so nor access DNO. It occasionally happens. :) I checked again in the same folder I thought I had placed it and lo and behold I got it. I thanked God (as always even made the Sign of the Cross) and wondered, why did I not see it at that time? You know this happens to all of us. Only God knows why. :)
    The story is true and interesting. I am pleased to pass it along. I always say it pays to read. We learn much from reading, hopefully what is morally and spiritually educating.
    This article is also (primarily) for those who teach, preach, endorse and practice terminating pregnancies. God has taken note of your words and actions. The story is entitled:

    Many Angels Smiled At Him

    At the train station, I met a doctor and old friend from my military days. Despite the joy of our reunion, our conversation soon took a serious note. The usually happy man was very serious. “Well,” he said, “I’m no longer the jovial doctor you once knew. Since I lost my son, something seems to have broken in me. His sudden, tragic death has left me with a feeling of guilt.”
    “A feeling of guilt?” You certainly did not commit a crime.”
    “No. It’s not that, but in the last twenty-five years I have not lived a very Christian life. May be through the death of my son, God…”
    “Now, stop that, Doctor!”
    “I deserve it. If the Lord God punished me, but in those God-forsaken years, that I repent now, there were fortunately some bright spots that comfort me. For example, I baptized approximately two hundred and fifty children, who would otherwise have died unbaptized. Yes, two hundred and fifty children!”
    On the day Karl lay dying, I was seated at the head of his bed. It was half dark in the room. He stared attentively at one corner of the room. “What do you look at there, Karl?” I asked.
    “I see many, many angels who are smiling at me and are coming to take me to Heaven.”
    “But I don’t see any angels, Karl!”
    “Father, There are more than one hundred – more than two hundred – They are coming to get me and we shall all come together to get you when you die. “Deeply moved, I added: ‘If I am worthy!’ Some hours later my son was dead.”
    “Doctor,” I interrupted the physician, “Did you ever tell Karl about those children you baptized?”
    “No, I assure you, I never said a word about that.”

    Note: This does not mean that those babies would not enter Heaven without being baptized. God has his plans. It was God’s gratitude for allowing the babies who were baptized before dying to come to his son, also in gratitude when he was dying and through his dying son to inform the father of his good deeds and what he did for them.
    How God works in His mysterious ways and gives His just recompense to those who have done good, even to those who saved babies and did not abort them. This was a good doctor. He was busy, as many of us are. Doctors are very busy people caring for the sick. God knows that which is why he was compassionate with that doctor who did not give Him his dues. This goes to show how loving, compassionate and merciful God is to those who specifically spare the life of babies.
    It goes to show how much God disdains the act of abortion and blesses those who save the lives of those babies while in their mothers’ wombs, His children, yet to be born. I hope that this will be also read by those who endorse aborting babies.
    It is not without reason why some of us are against it. As human beings, under no circumstances, none of us should endorse aborting babies. We should support those who get pregnant and who are in need of godly advice and help. Today, governments of all democratic countries with relevant agencies offer help to those women who get pregnant. There is no need to abort the babies. Furthermore, today, many women are keeping their babies. Those mothers need help and advice on how to nurture their children. May we all help them if we know someone who is need of this help. God who is not blind, deaf or sleeping will immensely bless them for doing providing godly advice and help to those in need.

    • Anonymous
      September 2, 2012

      T&T..when are you coming up with charpter 2….? and who do you think has time to read this LONG BS….

    • nubian
      September 5, 2012

      really and truly….. do u know that 90% of US …. bypass your comments??…. its just TOO LONG!!!!! GEEZZZZ…

    • OMG
      November 20, 2012

      Whatever book you just wrote no one read it!!! But I’m sure your fingers hurting!!

  6. trolol
    August 29, 2012

    All you not hearing the lady say, furious love making? Tell me who she is so i can see what that about! LLOOOLLL :lol:

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      @! trolol

      Are you deprived of love making? :lol:

  7. Me
    August 29, 2012

    Wow.. unprotected sex.. several times.. with a guy from St. Martin you haven’t really kept up with to know what he has been up to…….. go get an HIV test. This is dumb.. I know we all do dumb things but … I mean!

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      @ Me

      How do you know that everytime she made love to him that she was unprotected? It only takes one instant to get pregnant. I hope she was no fool to willfully know she could get pregnant. Some women do this for their personal reasons.

  8. Look It
    August 29, 2012

    Bella bella bella did you read what letter to bella the gurl dont want to be with the boyfriend that not the father

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      @ Look it

      One of them is the father. If she takes a DNA test, she will soon find out who is the father. This does not mean that if the father is the one who resides in DA she will want to remain with him or that he will want to remain with her. They will have to decide that.

  9. UDOHREADYET
    August 29, 2012

    All love eventually will turn to friendship, ask any married person. What you felt for the other guy was pure lust for someone different. The fact is you don’t have self-control or continue to lust after other men is an indication of your weakness not your boyfriend. You should not be in a relationship. You should be honest and end the relationship, saving the boyfriend from years of unhappiness and supporting someone else’s child. Protect the child from the pain and confusion of not knowing its real father. Give the St. Martin guy an opportunity to know his child. Finally to be being honest for once in your life with yourself and others, which will free you inside and outside as an honest woman. Good luck to you. Close your mouth and legs and open your mind, YOUDOHREADYET!

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      Wait and see, if she will ever write Bella again which I doubt.
      First, people become friends then in certain cases lovers. It should not be the opposite. This does not apply to everyone. It is because one party may not be cooperative. Why then did they fall in love and also get married in the first place?
      Love grows and couples must work towards it. Otherwise, their love could turn to friendship or hatred which ends up in separation and divorce.

  10. Patience
    August 29, 2012

    My girl just pray that the only thing you got from this guy is a baby. Trust me some bigger problems are probably reproducing in your blood at this very moment.

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      @ Patience

      Could be or not. Children must be nurtured appropriately from the moment they can understand and talk.

  11. take my advice
    August 29, 2012

    what is done, is already done. You can’t undo at this point. Simply because you had sex once with your boyfriend (I assume unprotected), and you had sex multiple times with the guy from SM (unprotected), does not necessarily mean that SM got you pregnant. I get the impression from the tone of your letter that you have decided to keep the pregnancy…(Great choice)- Children are a blessing from the Lord! Now what you have to do is determine paternity- as so many other commentors have indicated, a DNA test would need to be performed. To do this, you will have to get a sample for testing from the two potential fathers. Now, the only way to get their samples for testing is to inform them both. It is going to be tough, but you have to put the child first. No child should be denied the truth of who their father is- just to coverup a mother’s indescretion. Best wishes.

    • mj
      September 18, 2012

      You only need one sample. Get it if you can from the SM guy. Maybe he will want to marry you. If not you are to be a single mom! Your DBF deserves better you will never be true to him and will always cheat on him.

  12. Anonymous
    August 29, 2012

    You see dat!!! Is the same thing when all you want to act like RATS, RABBIT and GUINEA PIGS…….! Rodents in general 8-O 8-O 8-O 8-O 8-O

  13. Anonymous
    August 29, 2012

    YOU SEE…….! IS THE SAME THING WHEN ALL YOU THINK ALLU IS GUINEA PIG,RAT AND RABBIT “rodents in general”

  14. EMPRESS
    August 29, 2012

    Bella you are right to say she should be honest with her boyfriend but not on the grounds that the baby may come out not looking like the man…That is just a ridiculous way of thinking…to many kids have been rejected and denied a dad because idiots believe that a child has to look like them to be theirs…you guys never heard of genetics …A child could end up looking like any person from either side of the family including relatives born decades ago or like no one at all in the family…I guess the mothers should say is not their child to when the child doesn’t look like them…don’t get me wrong some kids are the replica of their mom/dad but we do need to drop this crap about children looking like the dad. Unless you are both black parents and the child ends up carib or white then check that out!

    • Anonymous
      August 29, 2012

      You write about genetics,,,so you were wrong to state ‘unless u r two black parents and child turns out carib or white’…Well this too can happen as myself and the father are black and our child has turned out mixed with carib/white/indian/portugese/st lucian/dominican heritage! I call him the Bouyon baby- a mixed soup- chaben etc

    • ROCK CITY
      August 30, 2012

      Great point!

  15. bouse
    August 29, 2012

    that woman is a sample to show you how empty, perverted, and full headed, many of our young women are today .(Some of our young Men too). We always shift and think that the other person is wrong where in fact we are the problem. If you loved the first guy what ever issues you would have brought it to his attention and dealt with it. Now you are in a hole that is unending because i do live in another Caribbean island and let me tell you the life our young men live when they are in other islands it can be shameful. Especially those so call rough or bad man. and because they are bi sexual and they come back to Dominica with diseases and spread it.(people are very malicious these days.I stress MALICIOUS) also because they hide beneath the veil of machoness a woman will not think of questioning their sexuality.so she “cetch in dat” alot of them get infected and they use t medication which literally hides their infection because they have no symptoms these days and so its easy to spread.I ask this question??? a man come to you and gives you a screw like never before and you not questioning it????? in 20 12 and no condoms?? something is ticking?????ticking??? ticking??????????? I call that “sex warje” a fix up sex…….. anyway who want to be nasty with their body be nasty? enjoy all you can, full your belly with sex and sperm and false dick and do not fell sorry after and do not bother BELLA……………. because you do not car in the first place about you.

  16. BLOOPERS
    August 29, 2012

    CALL THE MAURY SHOW 1-800-MAURY

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      Lots of scandal on this one. It is pathetic.

  17. Jaming
    August 29, 2012

    A week? and he just left you…chhh

    • dominican
      August 29, 2012

      it’s amazing how people blast people for being honest about their short comings.The young lady hurt the guy from the moment she lay with the other guy.It takes 72hrs for someone to get pregnat.if she used protection with her boyfriend then the child is the guys own. if you use unprotected sex with both do your calculation and get a DNA test.do what is right we all make mistake getting pregnant and nothing who the father is is a sin getting pregnant not knowing who the father is is still a sin.There is no small sin or great sin.be honest with yr boyfriend tell him what you do.

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      He came for a funeral. He ended up having fun with her. I wonder what promises he offered her? We do not know who he is, if he is married and if he has a serious girlfriend.
      Do not blame her. We do not know what really transpired with them from the beginning. He may have thrown himself at her; even forced her to make love and she could not resist him. Furthermore you do not know if her DA boyfriend has other girlfriends.

  18. sussie
    August 29, 2012

    I am a forty two year old woman and I am in love with a sixty two year old man from Dominica. This is the sweetest man I ever had. Can u imagine the man left me for a thirty year old. All these man are criminals and are nasty. I thought the man was old and I cherrished the dog, yet he left me for a younger woman. He told me she is much better in bed. Men are naturally dogs. Women are female dogs. Nothing suprises me anymore.

    • Anonymous
      August 29, 2012

      you right

    • UDOHREADYET
      August 29, 2012

      Just because you had a bad relationship doesn’t meant that all men are like your x boyfriend. How is it his fault that you are bad in bed? Maybe you two are bad together and he found someone more compatible. You should take a deep breath make the necessary correction and move on. I’m going to take a guess but the issue with you is selfishness. He left you because you were not good at something and you blame him, start looking at yourself and try to do as much for him as he does for you. Equal rights require equal effort.

    • Tiger
      August 29, 2012

      The man left you for a younger woman and you still saying you are in love with the man?

      OK, have you done anything to raise your standards in bed? You thought he was old so you did not have to try very hard because you thought you were calling the shots? Wrong!!

      As a Russian woman once told me, men do not get old when it comes to getting women. Once a man has money he can get women of any age.

      • Setup
        August 30, 2012

        Hello!!!! When a man wants to do what he wants, he will say anything thing to get his way… We all know that as women….One day this 30 year old woman will leave him for a younger man. Does he think he will be the same everyday…oh no, he is ageing every day. One day he will have a rude awakening. What goes around comes around, time will tell.

    • 30
      August 29, 2012

      You’re calling women female dogs and you’re a woman what does that make you the queen of dogs ? That’s why you should have given it to him like a dog he would have stayed .

    • Justice and Truth
      August 30, 2012

      @ sussie

      This what many of them only want, sex to death. Many souls go to Hell for sins of the flesh.

  19. Justice and Truth
    August 28, 2012

    Young lady, you made a grave error and you are in a dilemma which I am certain is causing you a lot of anxiety and stress. However this is the cause of a weak spirit and mind. Consider that other women of the world experienced and some are presently experiencing what you are presently undergoing. Try to remain keep calm!
    You must decide what you plan to do. You asked for advice and nothing else and this is what should be given to you by those who comment on this Website. Otherwise their comments are futile. They will not help you.
    Bella has given you advice to the best of her ability.
    You must inform your friend in St. Maarten about the baby. You must also talk to your boyfriend in DA. I would not suggest at this point to inform your DA boyfriend yet since you made love on more than one occasion with your friend who lives overseas. He may not be pleased but soon you will have to tell him. This is not to say that your DA boyfriend is not the father.
    As soon as possible (if you have not yet done so) make an appointment with your doctor to perform a DNA test.
    As important, take a test for HIV and whatever other disease. Your doctor will advise you.
    When you receive the results, you will surely have to further communicate with your boyfriends. I visualize that this will be an embarrassment for you. Stay strong!
    You need to find a way, a good one to solve this and ease your mind and decide what you plan to do for the future for your baby.
    I urge you to bring forth the baby. Do not succumb to anyone’s evil advice to abort the baby. You are carrying a baby that is your child and your boyfriend’s child. This baby is already important right in your womb as a child of God. I can understand that you are presently under a lot of duress. Think of the future. Nine months is not such a long time. Time flies.
    I also urge you to contact social service for advice and financial help which you may need.
    Pray to God. God never abandons his children and He never fails his children. He is faithful and true to His promise.
    Our Lord Jesus Christ said, “I will never forget you…I will not leave you orphaned. I will never forget My own…”
    My godly advice to you is that of a Catholic Christian who will give you all the encouragement to keep the child and allow the baby to be born. A Christian should give no less of an advice.
    Keep in mind, God is in control. One day, you may be the happiest mother on earth.
    God bless you, my dear. May you always find your strength in God who will never lambaste you but will look with compassion on you and continue to love you. God is aware of the temptations of this earth and how weak of spirit mortals are. Although He cannot be taken for granted, He is ever forgiving, if only we call on Him with a humble and contrite heart. What more can I say?
    I hope this is a source of consolation to you. Good luck!

    • Anonymous
      September 2, 2012

      And the award goes tooooo…..T&J….

    • BR
      November 21, 2012

      That is the best response I’ve seen so far.. It is sad that this young girl got herself in this dilemma . The most difficult part is dealing with it. It can happen to anyone who had weak moment or is experiencing problems in their relationship.

  20. August 28, 2012

    who feels it knows it
    my girl u should have protact ur self hope u learn
    from ur mistakes

  21. lewis
    August 28, 2012

    A guy just came to Dominica for a week and you are having sex with him already, and you are doing so without protection? you are one crazy woman, and i think you should be more concerned of your status, rather than trying to figure out who that child father is.Do you really believe this guy is in love with you? Are you even naive to even believe he don’t have his woman back in SMX? Perhaps you don’t care at all.you are not deserving of this young man you claimed to be with, and whether he ends up being the father or not, i thinks he needs to walk away, and find someone who truly deserves him.Shame on you

    • Setup
      August 30, 2012

      My dear Lewis, you are right in your advice for the young lady, but men do this thing everyday, do you think that she is the only one who can get sick. Men practice unprotected sex frequently, and with total strangers. We all know this is wrong, not only for her, but all of us. Because men are men they think it is ok for them, and it is bad for us, but wrong is wrong. If men kept their stuff where it belongs, and women did the same, life would be happier and healthier. It takes two to tango, so let us stop criticize the young lady, and give her the best advice that we can.

  22. (.) (.)
    August 28, 2012

    Before you tell either your boyfriend or the one week love making man my advise to you is do a DNA test. Be on the safe side first

  23. Look It
    August 28, 2012

    Your Boyfriend like your brother you know from childhood and your high school friend like your cousin.

    • Dominicanpearl2
      September 3, 2012

      Like we used to say, cousin and cousin make dozen. What a mess!!!

  24. August 28, 2012

    The situation women get themselves into. Sex not safe when you or whoever is doing crazy things. un wanted pregnancy, child abuse, hungry and father less children. HIV AND AIDS ETC.ETC. ladies and guys restrain yourselves and ourselves.

  25. captain lele
    August 28, 2012

    go and shake you bag where you purchased your coal, nasty. :-D

  26. the unkown
    August 28, 2012

    Another baby grows up without a father,

  27. tie toe
    August 28, 2012

    thats easy.just tell him you dont deserve him.

  28. Anyway
    August 28, 2012

    Bella still in High School man?

    Girl, one week after the man leave you find out you pregnant? You find that making sense? Check yourself.

  29. the unkown
    August 28, 2012

    All i can say is D.N.A testing its around $900-1300.mistakes has already been made now do the right thing tell him you’re not sure if it it his then move on

    NO one can judge you Only God

  30. .........
    August 28, 2012

    That story appears to be a sell out on someone else.

  31. B.E.B
    August 28, 2012

    You are not sure whether the baby is for the guy from St.Martin or your boyfriend, you could be pregnant for ur boyfriend, as you were having unprotected sexual intercourse, on another note ur friend could have come down from St Martin with the AIDS virus and pass it onto you and here goes you pass it on to ur boyfriend. So u deffinitly have to do the AIDS test. And again u are not sure who’s the baby’s father

  32. IZ DAT U HEAR WII
    August 28, 2012

    DEAR LOST WELL MY DEAR YOU ARE NOW FOUND EHH CAUSE WHAT EVER THE SXM MAN PUT THERE WITH THE CHILD HE FIND SOMEBODY TO GIVE IT STUPESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    PS:dno and all u have me beating up my self on that make up story woooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  33. angel
    August 28, 2012

    hmmmmm too bad. i actually know ur bf and am gonna b e the first to tell him. his here with me right now and am gonna tell. girl u stripping are u serious slot.

  34. Reader
    August 28, 2012

    Dear Lost,

    Seeing that Bella’s response lacks objectivity, here’s my two cents. First of all, you need to think long and hard about what you want to do. Are you ready to have this baby – especially if you will be doing it alone? If no, then you might want to consider terminating the pregnancy. Your body – your choice. At the end of the day, only you know what you can leave with.

    Secondly, it was crazy to have unprotected sex with a stranger (yes, your old high school friend is a stranger in this case), but you can’t undo it. You need to get an HIV test (sooner rather than later) and also test for other STDs. You don’t want to be infected and spread it unknowingly. So, get tested.

    Bella said to tell your boyfriend that you loved him but like you said in your letter, you don’t. So regardless of whether you keep the baby or not, you need to break up with him. You are not happy and in love with him so eventually someone else will come and light another fire. You deserve to be with someone that you are in love with and are so happy with that wild horses could not pull down your draws. So … decide if you want to go through with the preganancy, get tested for HIV and other STDs and cut your loses with the guy you don’t love. Chuck it up to experience .. you check

    • d paro 1
      August 28, 2012

      is best u take bella’s job trust me u r much better that she or he is

    • Fed Up
      August 28, 2012

      Love that response. Well said!

    • Young
      August 28, 2012

      Hey, it’s not the child’s fault it was the side effect of reckless living…I agree with you that she should get tested, but she shouldn’t get rid of the baby. If she wants ( and I advise this) get a nice couple to adopt the child…and tell the bf, nuh, sweetie…he will be vexed, he might leave you, but you would have done the right thing…and he’s your friend, he’ll forgive you, even if you’ll just remain friends after that

    • Justice and Truth
      August 28, 2012

      Reader!!!! :twisted: :twisted:

      Are you a Christian and a practicing one at that? You are boldly endorsing to the world that she should abort the baby. What a grievous/mortal sin in the eyes of God?
      You should never give such an advice. It is wrong. You are endorsing “MURDER” of a baby. Under no circumstances, “Thou shalt not kill”. The baby is conceived. Are you aware that God has already given it a soul and a private name? There is a lot you do not know and need to learn.

      • Fed Up
        August 29, 2012

        So she should keep a baby that is unloved and unwanted? What are you people crazy? If aborting a fetus is murder, then eating an egg is animal cruelty. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

      • Dominicanpearl2
        September 3, 2012

        Agreed!!!Thou shall not kill. You do the crime, (Adultery or fornication), do the time. Give the baby up for adoption, if you need an option. That child is a precious gift. Do not compare a child to an animal, they have no soul. I have 3 children and under no circumstance would I have ever considered that option. Shame on us for mudering innocent lives. We eat chicken, fish, swine, beef. We do not eat humans. Thou shll not kill!!! Immorality will lead us to Sodom. A week of fun can lead to a lifetime of pain. You do not love that man, who is like your brother, leave him and move on.

    • TheGuy (change)
      August 28, 2012

      I agree with you ‘Reader’, but one thing you forgot…It takes at least 6 months for HIV to show in a test, so taking one right now is pretty pointless.

      • take my advice
        August 29, 2012

        no, it is not pointless. At least it will establish a baseline of possible previous infection. What if that was not the only guy she had been with, what if her current boyfriend has been unfaithful as well? Do a test now, if it is negative, repeat in 3-6 months.

    • Anonymous
      August 29, 2012

      I LIKED UR COMMENT EXCEPT TERMINATING THE PREGNANCY

    • jus4one
      August 29, 2012

      Its automatic that when someone is pregnant they have to do blood work so telling her go do an hiv test is like judging her already. unless yall let these things go by in d/a

  35. Attention please!!!
    August 28, 2012

    All i am saying…

    All you see how the disease does spread there???
    They guy came down from st. Martin, she doesn’t know what he have,she in bed with him UNPROTECTED (cause she thinks it’s his baby)

    Right away what ever he may have, she give to her boyfriend, then the boyfriend sex someone else and the someoneelse has 3 partners and the list goes on…….

    AIDS AND HIV KILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Peolpe stick to one person!!!!!
    That is all i have to say as for you and your baby…going to be a long dreadful trip of who is the father scenario

    • geo
      August 28, 2012

      Thank you sir! But you have to understand FURIOUS LOVE MAKING happening anywhere ehh..

    • jus4one
      August 29, 2012

      I know how serious AIDS is but i cant help but laugh how everything for yall on here is about contracting AIDS. now im afraid to visit to d/a

      • Dominicanpearl2
        September 3, 2012

        Yes. We are afraid of STDs and HIV. We do not have the money for the medicine and care since we have a small population. We do not encourage dirty living. If you are perverted and loose then do not come. If you can control yourself and enjoy the beauty of our people and nature then you are welcome.

  36. August 28, 2012

    “I think the baby is not his”–introduction of story.

    That title above, alone, reveals the reason this young lady is in such a mess–what kind of expression is “I think the baby is not his” What happened to “I don’t or do not think the baby is his”

    Also who is so naive, in today’s world, to force his or herself in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex, because that person believes that is what his or her community expects? I mean do we have to please people, in all sorts of ways, before we please our self?

    Why write to Bella about such stupidity? What advise do you expect her–including us–to give to you, besides the one you already know–which is to tell that so-called boyfriend of yours, you are not sure that he fathered your unborn baby.

    Who knows, he might even accept the baby, whether it is his or not, if at all he loves you. But the bad thing is that, “you do not love him”. According to yourself, you are in relationship with him to please the people in your environment–do you know that false pretense is dangerous?

    Unless, of course, you want to continue with the state of guilt and uncertainty in your mind for the rest of your life–but that is if you are feeling guilty at all–I will never understand how a woman could condone to sexual relationship with another man, while she is still in relationship with one of them.

    The fire you experienced for that man from St Marteen, was simply the passion of the flesh, he shared that same passion for you–I hope you did not call it “Love” for Heaven’s sake!

    I am a grown and mature woman now, but I was a young lady too; I still remain the same person I was when I was young–being a one man woman.

    Thanks be to our God of Love–more than twenty years now, He showed me that there is no great Love, than that of His Person of Love, the Man who is Jesus Christ–that is the intimate, Love relationship I have embraced, for Jesus touched me and made me “whole”

    Now my growth and mature is all about the Spirit–the Life of Love, which I gave birth to more than 14 years ago. There is no mess in that Life.

    • Readin U & FETE
      August 28, 2012

      What about ur boyfriend FETE in CA? lol

  37. LR
    August 28, 2012

    hahahha…oh how i missed bella for these commentaries …anyhow young lady..what you really wanna do is look out for yourself and your kid…and why the hell on earth cheat and have unprotected sex with a highschool fling?…didnt you know then what you wanted to do when you missed ur period? why have a child raise with maybe a wrong dad for your careless behavior…? wrap it up my girl…

    • Justice and Truth
      August 28, 2012

      @ LR

      What do you mean wrap it up? Are you also endorsing that she commit abortion?
      From conception to natural death, no matter what the circumstances a woman gets pregnant. This is the Law of God. Those who murder, abort babies will be answerable to God. You know, whatever we have done on earth we do have to give God an account, if it is against His Holy Will. Think God. He will never endorse abortion. That baby is procreated. God created it. She should bring it to full term.
      When the baby is born, if she wishes she can give the baby up for adoption or place the baby in the care of a responsible person, as a family member who can take care of the child. Furthermore, the social assistance department could assist her in this respect.
      I suggest that you read Christian Websites pertaining to abortion and how it affects, have affected those who committed abortion; how they regretted it. Some people as Christians who committed abortion in their youth, also as adults are now pro-life advocates.
      Those babies in their mothers’ wombs are God’s children. They are the future children and adults. Who knows? A future Prime Minister, teacher, engineer or some important person. Let them live! They want to live too! It is their life. For the love of God and for them, allow them the human privilege of being born and to live.

      • Dominicanpearl2
        September 3, 2012

        Agreed, I’m with you on this.

  38. Kicks
    August 28, 2012

    :-D Seriously??? With all those morning after pills it have around??? :lol:

    You just wanted an excuse to break up with de man, admit it. Girl, give your child your surname and move on.

    Another thing, get yourself tested for HIV/AIDS….Your Sxm friend may have left more than just a “bun in de oven” ….LOL!!!

    • Come on Now!
      August 28, 2012

      LOL Really? I am not LOLing! S

  39. NEWTOWN roro YARD
    August 28, 2012

    halem she from

  40. learning
    August 28, 2012

    It’s a common scenario . once again we women continue to disgrace ourselves. We cheat on and hurt men who treat us good. But in the end we are ones who always cry the hardest, hurt the most and then we regret the mistakes that we wish we could reverse when it’s too late…from experience 8(

    • Attention please!!!
      August 28, 2012

      but the men does cheat and hurt us tooo

      But it is indeed a shame whn a woman is pregnant and not sure who the father is! That doesn’t look good at at at all at all!!!!! It looks Bitchy!

      Stick to one partner people!

  41. Positive vibes
    August 28, 2012

    oh shut up!!! stop makin shavin sex b4 marriage and things will get better!! :twisted:

  42. syborg55
    August 28, 2012

    @ Fed Up: You agree with rubbish from Bella, he/she is suppose to give professional advice, the reply Bella gave was street talk, any of her friends could say the same thing to her. He belittled her.

    • Dorival John
      August 29, 2012

      Dude, didn’t u read the disclaimer for Dear Bella?

      It reads in part ” Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.”

      Read and stop making an idiot of yourself.

      • Dominicanpearl2
        September 3, 2012

        Good answer!!!

  43. NEWTOWN roro YARD
    August 28, 2012

    It seems that story have more reality than fiction friction about it.
    I wonder who came out from St maarten? I wonder who people name that they have calling in that rumour of who get that girl pregnant? How many persons reading PSALMS and how BAD others are?
    A good thing it have DNA testing of readymade packages.
    Some man too and some woman have too much FISHING guts. If she so sure which one of her tolee friendz that put that biojuice inside of her and cut her belly on fire then she should just speak the truth. All that 99 percent sure stuff is foolishness…who the heck you talking to lol !!!!!! all of a sudden is SAM that BAD !!!!

  44. resident
    August 28, 2012

    maybe you should get STI test first? Ask you boyfriend to take the test also…your stupidness is remarkable!

  45. hold up
    August 28, 2012

    First of all, you are a salop. There is no if’s, and’s but’s, why’s or how’s to it. Not just a salop but a stupid one too. For you to tell me you having sex with a man that lives in another country UNPROTECTED!! Yeah you tebeh. In any event the issue is not your saloptae ways, it’s the child. So, tell them man you do not see him that way and never have, most likely never will. Then get your self checked for any STD’s you may have been exposed to during your week of “furious love making”. Then call SXM guy and let him know that you are 99.9% sure that you are pregnant with his child. He will most likely dog you, which you according to morals and values deserve.

    If he is a good person, maybe he will consider helping you. Abortion is not the best idea but to each his own. Good luck. Oh and do not forget to keep your legs closed especially around men who are visiting short term.

  46. Laquish
    August 28, 2012

    You all had sex darling not “furious love making” know the difference. Loving making is 2 people IN love with each other through, while sex may be thank you mam bye bye which is your situation cause that Sxm guy really left after the thank you. Be wise gal life is reciprocity

  47. Tri-State Beauty
    August 28, 2012

    Wow I was loving this letter until the slip up part! I like long lasting love stories :-P I’m not going to judge you, but do tell the man, and truth is there is still a window of chance the baby may be his. DNA will solve that, but do tell of your indiscretion. Leave the door open and be honest. You have enough to contend with, this lie will only make it worst. He has every right to know.

    • Admirer
      August 28, 2012

      On point as always my beautiful black Empress :lol:

  48. easydoesit
    August 28, 2012

    I don’t beleive in abortion but are u finacially, emotionally and mentally capable of raising this child on your own…if not go to Dr.F on Marlborough Street and get rid of this foetus before you bring a child into misery. Learn your lesson;the man go back & i sure he not remembering you yet the man that with you is the one you hurting. Use protection, you couldve caught a disease from the man…Best thing is get your hands on $800 for Dr.F or do it the old fashion way which I now nothing about! Good luck

    • Ms Charles
      August 28, 2012

      You know alot since you can ecen give the price. SO thats what you have been doing. Alas. DONT WORRY one day soon soon you will hear all those babies you abort crying in your ears in the night. mark my words.

      • easydoesit
        August 28, 2012

        i have a 8 n 3yr old daughters n i have neva had an abortion but i know ppl who have done it, for health reasons and sum just becuz dey dont want kids now. abortion is a reality in dominica so jus becuz am frank enough to mention it doesnt mean i have done it. Its easy to know d cost; just ask d secretaries in dr.f office. Give the girl sum advice instead of backin up my tree for voicin my thoughts. be careful wat u speak to ppl cuz dere may be others speaking tenfolds to ur life wat u wish for others. U should think ethically wen it cums to abortion;its not cut rite down d middle in good n bad…elevate n eductae urself before makin a fool of urself!

      • Repent
        August 28, 2012

        Am, I think she needs to give you advice too, re all your undercover activities. Beff la, large’.

      • Justice and Truth
        August 28, 2012

        @ Ms Charles

        This person must be the doctor. What a bad advice the person gave. It came straight from the jaws of Hell.
        You are correct. Many people make statements without thinking. I suppose that they are not so inclined and do not possess godly enlightenment. Otherwise they would not give such an ungodly advice.
        It is stated that those aborted babies will confront them and convict them when they die and in eternity. Their souls are in Heaven. Where will the souls of those who abort babies, who encourage it and who abort them be on that day?

    • Ms Charles
      August 28, 2012

      I FIND YOU ARE VERY DEFENSIVE. LOL LOL LOL LOL

      SEEMS I REALLY HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD BOYYYYYYYYY. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • Sasha
      August 28, 2012

      Easydoes it your name says it all. why are you so hotty.

      Your advice isnt the best at all. If you claim you have a daughter or daughters why do you want her to abort hers. Think my dear think. Stop being hotty. ABORTION is “WRONG” why didnt you do it yourself. what Ms Charles said is right 95% of women who do abortion suffer from it even if they fail to admit it or not. Its reality. Sto the KILLING PEOPLE if it wrong for you it wrong for others.

      • jus4one
        August 29, 2012

        I hope you are a saint. Stop judging people. Are you free of sin?

    • Salop
      August 28, 2012

      Any other specialities of DR F u know about? Please inform us lol
      You are a real sell out or advertiser .I suspect U have a degree in Marketing lol Did Dr.F higher U? to push is services? Isn’t this Local popular knowledge? Like who ,makes the best bread on Island. Once St.Joe the it was willy, Erics,sukie, Raffoul.
      Dr.F must be shaking his head in dismay.
      Saying I should never had helped her out so many times. lol

  49. Homeboy
    August 28, 2012

    Hahaha. First of all there is still a chance that it might be your bf’s baby. You stated that in that time you were indulged in ‘ St Maarten’ you had sex with your bf.
    The real truth of the matter is only a DNA test will confirm the paternity ( check Maury). Seriously though you are not
    In love with your bf so just tell him. You don’t have to live your life for people!

  50. scotland yard
    August 28, 2012

    you get a readymade jacket

    • NEWTOWN roro YARD
      August 28, 2012

      scotland yard

      iT appears you are from newtown
      you talking about scotland yard
      dat yard have so much beff, you can even go and buy meat there
      dat yard is near the big new house in newtown
      its the new LAR-CU SET LANG so much stories there
      …they planning to give somebody a bullet proof jacket and it seems he prepare to use it.
      all of a sudden all of a suddenly…..the other man amongst men bann that yard after he do his damage and now he on d wall looking in. Woman self self self doh saying nothing. I agree with her. and if u didnt put cakoo in sun dont look for rain. who go there have to pay for going there. as if it doh have no condom in domnica !
      Child woman girl play your cards right donkey have no rights in horse race. layyet expensive, time to tie waist….i child must have a dadda! period ! what they say they say…people will talk let dem talk who feels it knows it….READY MADE JACKET or not woman never make your child daddy less; who enjoy punani have to take u responsibility; what they say they say. I support in you 100%..we woman tired suffer! GIVE IT TO HIM WHETHER ITS HIS OR NOT!

  51. داوود عبد الرحمن
    August 28, 2012

    Good advice Bella,

    This young girl is truly lost and this is the best name she could give herself. She is a disgrace to women. How on earth could you make love, have sex with a man you have absolutely no attraction for? You should have been honest with yourself as well as honest with this man.

    Secondly, to have a fling with a high school “friend” for a week with unprotected sex shows that you are a pathetic excuse for a woman. The reason I am so harsh because you could give this innocent young man AIDS, you don’t know how this high school friend is living his life in St. Maarten.

    In conclusion, it is just so sad gentlemen how some women are so damn slick at cheating and very difficult to detect she is cheating at times. I pray that he dumps your sorry behind and get someone who is worthy. FOOLISH WOMAN!!! CAN’T STAND RETARDED WOMEN!!!

    • Tri-State Beauty
      August 28, 2012

      Oh please you always coming on Bella and knock women down. You are a pathetic excuse for a man you sick pervert. Everytime a HUMAN BEING shares something you come with your judgemental closet hidden backside commentary. If he was the one who slipped up wouldn’t you want her to forgive him? Let people live their lives, it’s not her fault is polly balloon and blow up dolls you have for woman. Some of you too damn perfect. Retared chauvinist.

      • داوود عبد الرحمن
        August 29, 2012

        No way I am not a chauvinist, if it was a man I would be equally harsh due to the issue. And yes, there is nothing wrong in judging wrong actions.

        It is people like you who support evil and wrong doing in the society that’s why the country is in the state it is in. Pathetic!

    • woodfordhill girl
      August 28, 2012

      Well said/ :-D :-D :wink:

    • Reader
      August 28, 2012

      Your comment is just like your name – does not mean a darn thing. Retarded!!!!

      I get so tired of these silly comments putting down women if they have an indiscretion. Man was made to take so ease up on the damn woman. smdh

      • داوود عبد الرحمن
        August 29, 2012

        You’re tired of comments which speaks out against evil in the society because your heart is corrupted and perverted.

    • (.) (.)
      August 28, 2012

      I agree with most of your comments but name calling is not appropriate.

  52. Sweet Carib
    August 28, 2012

    And 1 more ting I suspect dat gurl from marigot becuz down der they like to give man faux- papas. Woyyyy

    • Mary
      August 28, 2012

      Sweet Carib you are very disrespectful to people from Marigot that happens all over the world. Your statement make you sound like a foolish person.

      • Justice and Truth
        August 28, 2012

        @ Mary

        Foolish and hypocrite. The young lady asked for advice. She did not ask for the sort of comments that they give. This is not helping her whatsoever. As if they are so prim and proper. If only we knew about them, their character past and present. They are a big bunch of hypocrites.

  53. Pingo
    August 28, 2012

    I’m not going to judge you for jumping in bed with someone knowing you have a boyfriend but girlfriend why didn’t you use protection? I think you should be honest with your boyfriend. Bella said tell him you love him and you want to raise a baby with him but is that how you feel? Just because people think you two look good together don’t mean you two have to be together. Talk to a trusted friend or family member ask their opinion. If you decide to keep the baby have a DNA test as soon as you can. You’re in a difficult situation but be strong, be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and above all pray for the grace to make the right decision. Good Luck!!!

    • M
      September 25, 2012

      I totally agree, and if that happens once so easily it can definitely happen again with another man

  54. Sweet Carib
    August 28, 2012

    Lmao. Stupid advice from bella yet again.
    Tell me, which man would want to raise another man’s baby. Only a fool will do that! And then when the child grows up-they’ll be like you’re not my daddy. Lol
    The girl need to tell the guy in sxm that’s she’s pregnant for him.
    I don’t know why females have unprotected sex and be all scared when baby comes
    Like duh do the maths; cum + eggs= babies

    • Chocolat
      August 28, 2012

      So whats the difference in a man raising another man’s baby? Women do it all the time and the relationships still go on strong. Are we that sot to do so?

  55. Kilah
    August 28, 2012

    Waw now that’s what you call slutness. My God how much stupid and slutty a woman can be? When yall finish you the same ones yapping and ranting about men are dogs. If this story is even real, girl I suggest you go clean up your act get your mind right .So many things wrong here but that’s just to much whore ish vibes for me, you choose the right name lost

  56. Tiger
    August 28, 2012

    What’s with the expression “….it looks nothing like him”?

    Babies don’t have to look anything like their fathers. I know of lots of men who look nothing like their father. It does not mean the offsprings are not theirs. Only a DNA test can confirm whether a child is one one person or the other.

  57. Fed Up
    August 28, 2012

    Bella for the first time ever – I agree with you. She has no other choice but to tell him. What Dominica really needs is DNA testing. Can you imagine how many individuals, young and old, would be surprised to learn that “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!” :lol: :lol:

    • داوود عبد الرحمن
      August 28, 2012

      They do DNA testing at La Falaise. It’s about $900.

  58. syborg55
    August 28, 2012

    Bella, I think you’re full of it!

    • Justice and Truth
      August 28, 2012

      And you? What advice you have to offer? You might as well not state anything. :twisted:

  59. Mate
    August 28, 2012

    Ebeh! A week of furious love making that you’ve never experience with your boyfriend? Ebeh! My girl, best of luck!! 8-O

    • too hard too long
      August 28, 2012

      I can relate to that!

      • lewis
        August 28, 2012

        and you are proud to even mention that?

      • too hard too long
        September 18, 2012

        oh yeah

Post a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

:) :-D :wink: :( 8-O :lol: :-| :cry: 8) :-? :-P :-x :?: :oops: :twisted: :mrgreen: more »

 characters available