I am 19 years old with a baby boy and a boyfriend.
We don’t live together, he lives with parents and I live with my mother.
We were loving when I was going school and I couldn’t take him in no more so I ended the relationship which lasted one year and five months ago.
So we went our separate ways, dated other individuals but now we we’ve been back together for a year and 8 months with a baby.
Yes he is a great guy who loves his new family. He puts us first and stay without. He tells me he love me, that I am his world, life, everything.
I tell him I love him to but I sometimes say it to make him feel good.
I listen to people and my selfish self and now treat him negatively.
I really don’t know how to describe it.
Can you be of any help?
Lost
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Dear Lost,
Without the attraction to your boyfriend, the relationship has ended in your mind. So until you are willing to work and face the psychological pain and sadness required to rekindle love and intimacy, it is better to be honest with him and end the relationship.
The roller coaster relation is not healthy for none of you- your boyfriend, the baby or yourself. You need to both cut ties if this is not the relationship for you at present. The hurt only worsens as more energy is being put into the relationship.
Maybe you all will be better as friends who share the responsibility of raising a child, than you remain in this physically but your heart is far removed from the relationship. Your happiness will determine how effective a parent you are, so decide where you feel most happy and remember that all the people speaking badly of him now will not be there to help you up if you make the wrong decision.
So you need to do some inner searching as to whether you want to work this out (and be ready to work if you want something that will last) or if in your heart, this is not the place for you right now.
Bella
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Lost: To each one their case seems unique but while details differ I can assure you there are many people caught in similar circumstances.
First, it looks like you have a good mother. Be thankful for her willingness to keep her heart and door open for you. Show her your appreciation and let the bond between you become even stronger.
The facts that you have (a) been able to break up, and (b) both date others, and (c) you have a negative feeling towards him indicate that this is not a relationship you should take into the future.
The negative feeling you have is a lack of love for him. You say you tell him you love him to make him feel good. You know the feeling is not there.
This man does not have an appreciation for what marriage is. This suggests to me that he is not mature and ready for this kind of a relationship. Christ said “…Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said, For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they two shall be one flesh?” (Matthew 19:4,5)
You should consider breaking off this relationship and concentrate on being a good mother. This means there no more romance between the two of you. You should share the responsibility of raising the child. Your little boy would certainly know who his Daddy is and your former boyfriend would see his son. The father should contribute towards the child’s support.
In time you may meet a mature man who is willing to love you and the child in a family setting. The best thing you could do is let the new man know at the very beginning that you understand now that sex before marriage is a sin (the Bible calls it fornication) and you will be waiting until marriage. The other way is wrong in God’s sight.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
But but but. Bella. U serious man?. U call THAT advice. U leave d girl more empty then before. Smh. I suggest u resign. For ur own good and for that of those who seek advice. Smh. Alas!
ohhh girl u foolish!! if u cudnt take him in the first tym around, y d hell u went back with him da second tym, n even end up having a child???foolish!foolish!ughhh..THINKKKKKKKKKKKK
wen u leave this one what makes you think u gonna get another one to treat u good.ur love for the other will die to then ur a22 in grass.hot u hot like that man.NONE SENCE.i just pray the baby doe suffer ur stupidness
if u don’t treat a good man good another woman will ur lose our gain
The problem is not YOU its his fault… He’s treating you too good. He treats you better than what you think you are deep inside. Once he starts to treat you like trash you will start to love him again. Unfortunately this is how some women are. UDOHREAYET!
Bella you starting to sicken me now with that trash my boyfriend this and my boyfriend that. Carmem you never respond to my letter i sent but all these fictional letters you posting and responding to come one bella you can do better. Anyways woman i will leave you alone. WHOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you’re not the only one lost.i was lost reading this.
U behind time lady love who love you
Belle beff
DNO why do you publish these crap and encourage the mediocre foolishness. Let these young people get a life and add to the development of Dominica instead of feeling satisfied in sad state by acquiring attention and fans.
chupppppppppppppppppssssssssssssssssss leave him what you looking for there u will get don’t worry
We just not ready and sadly, I hope the rest of the World does not think we Dominicans are not intelligent people. If that one was to generate traffic then say that. But if this is a true story my advice to that young lady is “Go ahead make another child” SMFH” Read thru the lines. Enough said.
some man mad or paro or maybe is a combo of both… a joke dat man
NEXT PLEASE>
Haha…the entire thing makes no sense. Young lady I suggest you go back to school. Take a class or something. Good grief! Absolute nonsense
Girl you not seeing your friends them that giving you bad advise waiting for u to leave the man for them to take him.
If the man treating you and your child good be patient forget friends and make your family work.
she needs to go see a shrink… bella advice ain’t gonna help her.. she wanted more than she has.. when in good home, bad home does call them..
What are you listening to people about? You didn’t say but Bella give a long story.
REDICULOUS!!!!
hahahaha n how does this affects dominica ?
What kind of KOSHONYEE is that nuh. That’s why I don’t believe in that Bella thing at all you know.. To me all the stories are make up artificial stories. This one is a classic.
stop waisting people’s time shou. fake fake fake
girl u just typical….
Honey you don’t need Bella for that. If you don’t love him let him go. He deserves to share his love with someone who will love him back.
child grow the up…stupes
Bella you are no even trying anymore.
This is one of the most stupid stories I have ever read. DNO, you aint got anything else in ur archives?
I agree with u, just one dumb a.. telling another one what to do. no wonder there are so many single mothers in DA
ikr