Dear Bella: I don’t know what to do. I met this really nice guy and he is married, but the thing is he doesn’t have a relationship with his wife at all.

They live together and they have kids, but they don’t have a relationship. They have been having problems long before I came in the picture.

He is really, really nice and I think that he has fallen for me, and I have fallen for him too.  He will tell me that I light up his life and things like that and the thing is I believe him because he is an honest man. He told me that he wants to get out of the relationship, but it’s hard because of his kids. The kids don’t know that he and his wife are don’t have any relationship, and he is worried about them.  I don’t know what to do because I am falling for him too. I need some advice please. Thanks.

JB.

Dear JB,

Just because you claim that he and his wife has no relationship is no justification for you to get intimately involved with him. Saying that “they have no relationship” does not extract from the fact that they are still married. It’s true sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with, but you can take steps that will not allow you to get into deep.

You are only contributing to this man’s marriage demise. You should be encouraging and advising him to try to work things out with his wife, instead of embracing his compliments about you lighting up his life. What you need to do is to end this intimate emotional relationship with him, if it has not gone further than that, I hope, and if it has end it anyways. Besides it is adultery and you’ve already opened the path for an adulterous relationship.

I’m sure there are many single guys out there with less drama than which you have involved yourself in right now. If the marriage should end let it not be because of anything you did.

Bella.

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