Dear Bella: I am a married young lady going through some things in my relationship I just can’t understand. At first when my husband and I just got married he was a caring young man, but now I’m seeing changes in his life.

We have a two-year-old son and ever since I got pregnant with my son I started seeing the changes; he used to leave me home at all odd hours in the night with my big belly. After I made the baby it got even worst. He doesn’t spend time with us. He doesn’t take his son out, and if he does it’s because I instigated and I have to curse him for him to do so.

Our son could be crying to go with him and he never takes him on.  Secondly he can’t maintain us and he has a next woman. He told me that he wants things to get better between us but I ain’t trust that because he’s still talking to girl. I don’t know what to do, and I am a person who doesn’t like depending on people; I hate it. All I am asking for is attention, love and care which I am not receiving. Can you please give me advice? P.S  I took a vacation away from him and at first he didn’t use to call me, but now he calls me every day and tells me how he misses me.

Confused.

Dear Confused,

Reading the initial part of your story I was about to tell you that your husband has another woman, however you have it all figured out already. Adultery in a marriage can be the most heartbreaking, especially when you never cheated in the first place, and I hope that is the case. If not, your husband could just be reacting to you cheating first.

One of the biblical reasons most justifiable for a husband to leave his wife or vice versa is because of adultery. While I do not doubt your husband missed you when you went away on vacation it could have been for other things like possibly for you to cook for him or do chores or he could be worried that you hook up with another man while on vacation.

If he was truly genuine he should have never assured you that he would break the affair off with the other woman and continue talking to her. If they maintain the same relationship before he told this to you to this present moment that doesn’t sound or look like two people who are apart for good.

Men like women should respect themselves and respect the sacrament of marriage and if they are not ready to settle down don’t get married. You love your husband and you want the relationship to work out, but child’s father or not you cannot allow a man to take advantage of you and ill treat you like that. Get some resolve, talk to a lawyer and get yourself in a mindset towards filing a divorce. Also if you are apart ensure that he takes care of his kid, having another woman is no excuse why a man should not take care of the product of his seed.

Bella.

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