Dear Bella: I am 19 and my current boyfriend is 20. I really like him, he is good at making me laugh, and I know that he can’t live without me. He gives me all the attention that I want. The only problem is that he doesn’t have any money!
He lives with his mom in a small house. He shares his room with two other brothers so I don’t even bother to go there. Sometimes I want things, to do my hair, a nice phone, clothes and shoes, credit on my phone, and I know it’s a waste of time to ask him.
Recently, this older man in the community has started making moves on me. He drives a nice car and owns a huge house. People say that he’s involved in selling drugs. He tells me he can give me anything I need and even offered me a BlackBerry.
I’m not a gold-digger but I have needs. I’m thinking of leaving my boyfriend to be with the man. Or to be with the man and still have sex with my boyfriend secretly. Which one do you think is better?
Neither of your suggestions is better nor do they give credit to what women these days are trying to achieve which is independence. First of all you can try getting a job, and also recommending to your boyfriend that he should start filing his job applications. For behind every great man is a woman. I have heard of guys who have no ambition at all, and prefer getting that quick money and feeding off their parents all their adult lives, but it’s even worse to know of a woman who lacks ambition and still wants the finest things in life.
You didn’t mention whether you or your boyfriend is attending college, but the way it sounds I doubt it. I hope though that you at least have a high school diploma, and if you don’t maybe you and your boyfriend can partner to start a small business- do something to sustain yourselves. I’m also questioning whether you really love your boyfriend, because of the outrageous thoughts about getting with the older man. By all means if you want to get a sugar daddy you can, but don’t say Bella advised you to. Meanwhile, start typing up those job applications.
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