I am 17 years old an I am having this problem where my once upon best friend became my enemy due to the fact that she wants to swap my boyfriend from me.
I always tell him that if he does not love me just gently let me go but he always tells me that he loves me. He introduced me to his parents and I actually do mostly everything that I can to help him.
Now this girl actually calls my phone and threatens me in all sorts of ways and everytime I tell him about it, he would say she is just trying to make me jealous and I should just ignore her.
He also promised to marry me and this is so ridiculous because he is 15.
Now this girl once cried to him and build up lies and he dumped me and went with her. I remained single for four months then I dont know what happened to their relationship, he came back to me and begged me to be with him again.
I accepted him because I really loves him. He says he love my mood swings and when we argue because this is when I express myself the most.
Bella I really love him and I think he loves me to and here we are together for a year now and I am very fed up with this girl tormenting my life.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Missy
Dear Missy,
I always tell people at your age that they should not get involved in all the intricacies of relationships at the age of both you and your boyfriend. You have your entire life ahead of you to deal with such things. I always tell young people to try to get themselves an education in order to prepare for what lays ahead in life.
And this is what both you and your boyfriend should be concentrating on. He is 15 and you are 17, do you really beleive at that age you two can start the type of relationship that will last a lifetime?
Hence I am encouraging you and also your boyfriend to concentrate on getting an education. Get something solid that you can depend on in the long years ahead.
That said I also want to say that friendship is not bad. You can have friends, both male and female, but at this stage in your life your primary focus should not be on relationships and all the headaches that may accompany them.
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
JUST NOW HIS SPERM WILL FINSIH AND HE CANT PERFORN WHEN HE GETS OLDER , I BET U HE WILL BE SHORT , BOY HE START YOUNG SO HE CANT GROW TALLER ANYMORE . IF HE START AT MAYBE 10 TO TROW WHAT WILL BELEFT IF HE GETS TO 20 .HE WOULD BEA MINUTE MAN HA HAHA
simple have a three sum n solve de problem
Well those kids not easy , my God and on the other hand some woman too like to cokay with their best friend ‘s man .
An older and more mature guy like say 19 – 27 would probably be better for you.
Child go to school…if I were your mamma….I would slap you silly….
What I don’t get is women wanting to take care of men..your job is to love him….not take care of him..
So long that happening between wesley high school and convent high
At the ages or 15 and 16, you both should be concentrating on school. You`ll have time for all these things. Why are you caught up in a love triangle at this point in your,when the right person comes along,trust me if he loves you he wont pay attention to any other. There are some good men out there, take your time .fulfill your goals and allow God to provide you with the one thats best suited for you. Seek him first and everything else he give to you.
lmao lol.. that is rape. an dont fool your self sweetie he leave you for the next girl beacause he loves her more dan u.. trust me he love her more.. she keep txting an caling ur phone beacuse to are doing the same to her as well… an she was nt ur best friends an wil never be… get a life an forget bout the boy……………..
you made a mistake, we all make mistake, just hope its you last and you don’t get pregnant for a 15 year old…. is he working… are you ready for a baby….. how would this affect your life///// think sweetie think before you give ur life away.. i had boyfriend at 17… who i talk to on the phone and would take me out for lunch… at 5 fifth form all that sh*t end cxc time… and i think so young ladies in dominica need mother’s like mind… you can have ur phone, bf, money but all that end the day she get report card with a subject less that 85%……
u 17 wat d hell u doing with a little boy so…………….girl let the boy take his school………….live thht alone stupessssssssss
All the comments in hear about how allu acting like allu didn’t have man at age. No one is acting some people are just concerned that being in a relationship at such a young age has more downs than ups…the young lady should be arrested if she’s having sex with a 15-year-old and his parents should be ashamed of themselves for allowing him to be in a relationship with a 17-year-old. Young people we need to educate ourselves. Too many of our young women get involved with these unhealthy relationship and all the idiots can say is “I love him” the questions they need to ask is “does he love me”.
Dont mind this idiot and stupid kids shame on them and thier family 15yrs 17 yrs God have mercy.when she get pregnant school done the sakwe salop endup on the roadselling rosted plantain and dashin
Why are you always on here calling people sallop and them things??? You probably need to take the veil out of your eye first before you call people such names. If you don’t have anything constructive to say, then don’t say anything at all.. You strike me as a very childish individual…
Lord those child in dominica these days to Ti Sal for me papa. Man problems at this age lord help me
I remember having my first boyfriend at the age of 17, I really thought that I was in love, he was cheating on me left, right n center n I was just there taking him back like a dummy. Now, I’m 23 n engaged, and looking back at my past, all I can do is laugh and thank God for bringing me this far. My advice to u young lady is keep your head up, know your worth n don’t let no man treat u like dirt, u deserve better. Get yourself a good education; get a career and live your life, then everything else will fall in line.
NOT SO GOOD ADVICE BELLA! THEIR RELATIONSHIP MAY BE BASED ON INFATUATION, BUT BETTER ADVICE WOULD BE TO LET HER KNOW THAT SHE NEEDS TO MAKE EDUCATION A TOP PRIORITY. YOU’RE BASICALLY TELLING HER TO END A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE SHE FEELS THAT SHE LOVES. WHAT SHE SHOULD DO IS FIND OUT IF THERE REALLY IS LOVE BETWEEN THEM, THEN MAKE A DECISION. REGARDLESS OF THEIR AGE, THERE MIGHT REALLY BE LOVE BETWEEN THEM. THEY SIMPLY NEED TO RESOLVE THINGS WITH THIS OTHER GIRL TOGETHER; SEEKING ADVICE FROM MATURE ADULTS IF NECESSARY. AND TRY AS BEST AS POSSIBLE TO NOT LET IT AFFECT THEIR LIVES, JEOPARDIZE EDUCATING ETC…
You are suggesting the same advice as better advice.
wow i do know one facts about life, we all grown up was some how in a story like this if not we have relatives right now that have such problems. and how would we address such situation if it were our very own blood. most of us do speak very ignorant. The world is a differnt one with all this high tec. . The life we live now will determine what kind of roll model we want to live or live behind, hunny child i feel your pain. But forget it drop the young man it er worth it.talk to him as hi and bye. it is to early to go through such harrassement it er worth it. some persons it may work for them where they see each other as friends that is all there is to it. then when you both get it figue out . plan .pray, have fun as jokes .talk about constuctive stuff ect. and after studies is accomplish then u reach out and touch the sky. do not move to fast. enjoy being free meet girls your age hang out in a trouble free environment ect. is that good advice . if you are sexually involve then that is another story all by it self. i love you and will pray for you be strong, people has differnt opinions so apcept the positive and kick off the nagative arite. some may not agree but we need to be honest with ourself. because our children doing it too secretly or in our face. and what do we do curse on the internet please. we all are guilty. i love to help any body and every body with the knowlege god gave me. be real keep it real . adios
Bondiere oiye, little children…go read allu books eh before is get my belt. One 17 and the other 15 in love on and off relationship. LoL..so when allu reach 21 allu will retire wii. My advise is take allu time eh, don’t rush into things so quickly….OR I WILL GET MY BELT AND COME LOOK FOR YOU
allu of allu had man that age n even doin worst so stfu……. u cannot change the fact that she already in her seen…. she seekin advise to help her not to judge her come on man…. my girl u doe hve time for tie up at no age…. take her to court for harrasement n move on wit ya’ll lives
go n sleep in ur bed eh girl
lets see..at that age we talkking bout raging homones right…some children do not know how to deal with those feelings u know so lets take it easy on those teens..we who know better were once like them..we had raging homones at that age and when we meet our “soul mate” we think is love but it is only the homones raging, we know better now so let us teaches them about there body and stop looking at them so low, seriously we are sexuall beings and it is natural. but we have to teach them to control those feelings. that is y we hear of sex in schools..that have been happening since i was in grade 6 as far as i can remember now i am 40 and it is still going on. Our children need to know God..only he makes the difference, when u r in Christ genuinely saved you see things differently and God will help. If we walk in the spirit we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. I grew up with my mom and grandma ponding into my head about not getting involved in sex or having boyfriend earlier they taught me about the bible and i must say i learnt well..i only got my boyfriend at 25 and we got married the follwing year and here we are. MY GIRL TAKE YOUR TIME OK THAT B.F STRESS IS NOT FOR YOU. NOW I AM BEING FACED WITH ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS BUT I AM MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE THEM. MEN WILL ALWAYS BE MEN SOME OF THEM THERE BRAIN IS IN THEIR PENIS SO B WISE AND CHOSE YOUR EDUCATION.U HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR RELATIONSHIP..U WILL NOT REGRET. GOD BLESS YOU
nicely said i agreed
young people.it is abuse because he is 15.gyal live dat little boy alne nd gt a real man
what coshonie!!! so that little boy must be having sex since he 13?
We have serious problems on our hands……parents!!!!!!!!
Some of these bloggers are such hypocrites!! No wonder we are faced with many teen related problems. That’s bc we fail to realize that adolescence is a very crucial phase. Parents guide ur children, don’t tell them bf/gf is off limits.. Help them to understand their bodies and never ever hide the topic of sex and relationships! Act as a “peer” to ur teen and instill good moral values!
doe mind that its children mayla….i was 12 and my boyfriend was 31
Bonjayyyy datz child abuse wii kamem!
dat is not a BOYfriend dat is a MANfriend wat u trying girl!!! and den wen something happen ur parents will want to go and call police because u under age
but u was taking man young madame leanna and tha still doe change..
SAKWE SALOP NASTY U NASTY ,HOW MANY BABY U GOT NOW KOSHONI.
That’s nothing to be proud of..it’s called child abuse…MOOK!
I somehow agree with Bella’s advice abt getting an education, however as a society we can’t be ignorant to the fact that teens are in some serious relationships. Time has changed, society is changing and during the teen years that’s when hormones are raging!
There is nothing wrong in dating at these ages however if dating goes a step further then priorities need to be placed in order.
Young lady, if u truly care for this guy then tell him how u feel abt his friendship with ur former bestie. I assume he has seen where he went wrong n with ur support he can continue a successful relationship with u.
I hate to read some of the comments where ppl judge based on age! I’m a married woman and I’ve been dating my husband from since I was 15! Over the years we became best friends as well as lovers and now we have a happy marriage and happy home!
Good luck!
How comes nobody shouting rape? Ehmm let me see, because the woman is older? lol
hold up….wait..wait..wait…she’s 17 & he’s 15…what is this world coming to? Where are their parent to give them a voley!!! gone are the days when we use to care more for education than relationships…Future pedo much.
BELLA DOES MAKE ME VEX WI WHICH YOUNG PERSON NW DAT 15 16 ETC DAT DOE WANT TO HVE A PADNA TO FREE UP ETC
NW TO DAH GIRL DER IS SO IT IS JUS DEAL WIT DE VIBEZZ MEN ARE DOGS AS ALLU SAY BUT ALLU LOVE DE BONE
‘DA /Girls stop fight over 1 man! Is Your man, where you buy him from, you have receipt!?’ lol child go and sturdy your books and stop that boyfriend nonsense. Like him and keep him as a friend or show him the door. You said he likes your MOOD SWINGS, can’t you tell that both him and the girl are pulling your strings and playing with your emotions to get you to behave and do what they want. Be strong you’re too good for that dohtish.. plus he dated your best friend on your head and you still take him, they DOHREADYET!
U r 17, he is 15; age of consent is 16, that makes u a PEDOPHILE. U should b arrested, if the situation was reversed the guy would b in police custody.
And furthermore if i was bella i wouldnt even post that…i’d tell you straight off you too young for my page!! what really wrong with yal lil girls these days…yal want to grow up too fast!! and yal brains still slow!! when i was 17 i had a brain of an educated adult…find ways and means to learn about things…by the way can you wash your draws, cook something to eat, clean your room, iron your uniform properly, comb your hair(not one puff)…do you even take time out to better yourself as a young woman?? talking bout marriage….child hmmmmph..no more said
LR i agree with you hundred per cent young girls of now dont know what they about other than having the latest phone, clothes, hairstyle and jewellery NONE OF THEM NOW know what is a trade far less to even have one so many of them cant wash their fook chillot cuz they dont know how but they know about man already society just going down bella what LR say is true she too young for this page give her a private answer and done with that when i was 17 yes i had aboy friend BUTTTT i was educated and knew how to do many things FOR MYSELF and could pass off older than my own age sweetie drop that 15yr old baby take care of urself and in time to come u will meet someone real
I agree 100 % wit u. They pretending like they never had man or woman at that age. Hey most of u lost your virginity younger than 17 so shout the hell up and advice de young girl properly.
DATS RIGHT
Lol I like u wii hahaha
Good Advice Bella…..but wait 15 and 17 what the hell is LOVE? Do you know the meaning of the word i mean the true meaning..i was once 17 and i cant be hypocrite bout this whole thing because poor lil thing only human to say she’s in “love” child start grabbing your books closer to you and leave the lil boy alone because by the time he 21 he might not even remember your name…he done confused swinging from you to your so-called friend….aye la vie sa la…lamou agape is the way..and what can you really grasp from a 15 year old boy? ..you are entering adulthood soon, educate yourself about relationships and know your worth..you seem lost already!!
aint no love in this world no more LR love is a roller coaster u ride as long as u on board when u get off where it? still riding and at that tender age there it’s lust or infatuation most likely or just going with the “mood” of course when he reach 21 he’ll forget her like u say she best grab her books closer cuz man dont last forever but the books and knowledge do
sweetie its because you are much older and much wiser…but i know you mad mistakes in your life…you remember what it is like to be in love at that age?….your tone and approach is going to drive her toward the guy more than anything… your words are true but it should be said in a proper manner….
i am only 24 and non bout my tone should drive her anywhere…..to me 17 was just the other day and yes we all make mistakes and at 17 it wasnt love and i knew this….point is we have to educate our young females especially because they seem to be falling apart way too young….and still have you not notice the trend in this generation?? they want boyfriend by 8 years..it was shocking to hear some st marteen primary kids carry on such convo one day in KFC ..im not making excuses for none of them…parents are fully responsible and these young girls need to know what they are worth and value themselves before they can expect a man to do that for them……is the strictness they dont have thats why..im not buttering my words
Well said bella. I couldn t agree more. But to all of u who want to bash de young girl most of u is pretenders. Most of us had boyfriend or girlfriend at her age or younger so be real, and stop act like all u perfect.
amen mad amen i agree with u pretenders aussi
alot of good advise given to ‘her’ like study her books etc etc, but i dont see the reason for the name calling
yes those Dominican people to hypocrite…a friend of mine told me that she was in emotional pain because she broke up with her first boyfriend…she was about 16…she wish she could speak to her mother about it…
she used to go lie by her mother side on her bed and her mother suspected something was wrong…so her other started telling maybe you probably have worms have ..you maybe need to take some cleansing…..
another girl told her mother that she did not see her period…her mother told her that happens….sometimes a young girl skips her period…well the mother realized what her daughter was trying to tell when she saw protruding stomach later on…..
it is normal for a kid to be attracted to the opposite sex at a certain age people stop your hypocrisy
spend more time directing/nurturing people and you will spend less time correcting your kids behavior…..it is so simple…..
then again most of you on her and in worst relationships
All you forget about that for awhile. What i checking there is she’s stressing over a child! 15 years the boy have! Those children nowadays have zafeh wi. Stupes!
Stupes you two or three dont really care. A joke that man? 15 yrs, 17 yrs. Spare me. Go get yourselves proper education. Try to get a scholarship to go study so you all will not have to or be in that kind of a dramatic childish life. Nonsense.
I’m all for relationships, and being in love, BUT, I really don’t think it should be the focus at 17 years old.
Girl you are to silly, A little thing like you what you know about love and married. I think you should go to the middle east where girls married early
a joke dat nah..choops
but seriously people this young girl is in love….she is young and inexperienced….she needs guidance …probably have never gotten love form a dad or mom…this is what is wrong with you people….you expect a 17 year old to think and act like a 80 year old who has wisdom based on life experience….she needs a loving supportive person in her life to guide her on the right path….this comments on here reflects Dominican parenting skills…and they did worse when they were younger
tiny its you again. everything is about parents… cut you trap mayne!
so you don’t realise Tiny/d’ca parentsareabusers need Dr. Phil??? I’m not even saying Dr. Benjamin because from previous posts Tiny already revealed how she felt about him.
lOVE U SAY , THE SALOP TASTED ADAM APPLE EARLY AND IT SWEET SHE DONT WANT TO MISS OUT ,SHEWANT IT ALL FOR HER SELF FOR THIS YOUTHS LOVEIS LAY PUSSY DOWN AND SEX THATS IT WITH A GUY , AND IF HEGETS ANOTHER GIRL CLOSE CASE BEGINGS WHY IS SHE EVEN HERE , BELLA THIS IS NOT WHAT USHOULD POST . PEOPLE SEND REAL POST U DONT ACCEPT BUT KOSHONI UDO ACCEPT
TELL THIS PEOPLE TO STOP WASTING GOVERMENT MONEY AND STUDY
Lil girl go think about what u want to be when u grow up…u’re 17 , he’s 15…what do u expect???….this little boy is confused and so are you. Take your time my dear, love doesn’t run out…and trust me it will be right there when you’re good and ready to find it
And she even helping him wi zor…. and plus he loves her mood swings.. Lad help we!!
All you not too gwan eniteel. That is children maylay…..smh
Bella I hope DNO is not paying you. You are too surface this is such a deep issue. I understand your need to give her motherly or adult advice but sometimes at their age they need somebody to not only give them constructive adult advice but to speak their language. Relate to them! The parental approach of just reprimanding and totally disregarding the issue at hand is wrong. You need to relate to her let her understand that you know how she feels. Let her realize that you were a teenager too in love respond to her relationship issue! You have not once mentioned her wrong decision making and what to do to not make these mistakes again. What kind of guys to avoid or how to deal with first love situations. You just went straight for the typical stay in school advice disregarding everything else. Basically you just said ok whatever you are too young to be in love shut up go to school. Well let me tell you these kids fall in love and they experience heartbreak too. Just because young love does not exist to you does not mean it doesn’t exist. I think you are too busy hearing yourself over the people seeking your advice. You know what she did or will do when she reads your response suck her teeth and move on.. DNO if you need someone to give profound advice you respond to this post. Bella does a terrible job! There is no passion and relation in her advice. I’ve read too many of her poor advice. For a major online company as yourself you need quality advisors.
oh childish thing……hunny all of us has been there. he 15 ,you 17
Get an education please,education is key,men come after…….there will be a time you’ll realizer he wasn’t the one for you
anyone can see that u need to focus on school and not on man sweety your grammer and vocab suck< why dont u do thingd 17 year olds are duppose to do
You gat some nerve to talk about the young lady grammar. Please check your grammar before you to correct other people grammar. Idiot…
bad grammar: “…before you to correct…”
good grammar: …before you correct…
bad grammar: “…young lady grammar…”
good grammar: …young lady’s grammar…
stupid all u stupid . you are such a young Kid go get a job education and a bright future before u think of a man . the guy is 15 and u are 17. where are your parents they need Jesus in bringing you all up as idiots. look at your ages and u got no shame coming up in here and opening your mouth,infact writting rubbish go get a degree and get a brighter future b4 u give birth to dozens of kids with dozen fathers . as for snatchingpeople man dominicans are noted for that and theyare even bold to tell u they are doing it and what would u do.anyway get a life u really really need one.
woyyyyyyyyyy…this one have me laughing…….i might give birth too sooner than my due date…..I’m pregnant with nanuplets
oh boy i just realize i gave my identity…..ok people in the near future, if you see a headline saying that a Dominican woman has given birth to 10 kids its is not me ok….don’t harass the person cause she’s not me..
nonuplet…nine not ten
thats because i’m really having nine….so the word stayed stuck in my head
stupes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… 15 yr old… 17 yr old…. chupes…..