My husband might not be the father
Dominica News Online - Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 at 7:23 AM
Dear Bella: My husband and I have three beautiful children together. Two are in high school, while the the youngest is in primary school. We have a happy home, not perfect but which family is?
However, something has been on my conscience for years and now I’m wondering if I should clear my conscience and cause pain to my family or keep things to myself. I had an affair with a co-worker around the time I got pregnant with my last child. To be honest I am not sure if my co-worker or my husband is the father. My youngest child looks different from the others, they’re thinner and more light-skinned.
I’m sure my husband is probably wondering why this is so. Should I confess?
Dear Miss:
I think your husband deserves the truth. It is very wicked and deceitful to live such a lie for so long. Be prepared for a major upheaval in your marriage. You cannot continue to live a lie. Do the right thing, clear your conscience.
Bella
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42 Comments
thye co worker may understand so do the dna with him first ,,,ur husban dont needto know yet
Don’t make a move girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not yet. Get the facts first.
These things happen. Get a test. Then you can decide what to do on the facts. If you love your man, you will have to be honest eventually, but don’t go acting on suspicion and shame brfore you know your cards.
husband wearing a jacket thats not his hmmmmmm…….some woman just dont know wen to settle…..my dear first thing talk to lord and et him direct you
MY GIRL THE TRUTH SHALL REVEAL SOONER OR LATER PRAY THAT THIS CHILD DON’T GET SICK TO THE POINT WHERE HE OR SHE IS GONA NEED BLOOD.IN THE MEAN TIME FIND OUT YOU ALL BLOOD GROUP AND TAKE IT FROM THERE IF YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND PLUS THE FIRST TWO HAS(O) POSITIVE AND THIS CHILD HAS(A) NEGATIVE THEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN DEEP SHIT.BUT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU IT IS UP TO YOU WETHER YOU SHOULD TELL HIM OR NOT BECAUSE YOU ALONE KNOWS THE MEASURE OF WIEGHT THAT YOU ARE CAYYING ALL THE BEST IN THE FUTURE.
Girl get a money and do the test.Stop fooling the man. It will save u lots of heartaches. I support others MAURY SHOW BOY MAURY SHOW.
I know that this one is tough my girl but u need to find out the truth, one way or another. Everyone is thinkin about u, ur husband and even the co-worker. No one is considering the child. Yes its true that your marriage will be in shambles and maybe even the co-worker’s relationship but suppose your child ends up making a child with his/her sibling? What then. My girl it happen so already, that you can’t change. If you have the money go do the DNA test, if the kid belong to your husband LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE- and that is only if u can handle it, if not clear your conscience and wait for the outcome. HMMMMM…… Good luck to u my lady and try not to make that kind of mistake again.
i tink u need to b sure b4 u tell ur husband y cause pain wen in fact the child mite b his wen u are sure take it from there if it is his take that secret to ur grave. y break up a home?
@BUSY WOMAN: everyday i say dat to my self, dominica realy need the Maury show…now that will be quuiitteee interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D.A NEED A MAURY SHOW…
I think you should go to the maury show. He will surely tell you if he is the father or not.
@Nectar: dts biologically possible dude
pamella is that u? u mean little dave is not my child? i did all i could to keep our family happy…….wait till i reach home.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah dis is funi
you need a steel underwear ,if you tell him make sure you do it in public
hahahah
yeah like the black couple that have the white child in roseau south. is Time man start wising up.
que dolor,
Alas you are right, sorry to equality and mike your wrong,the husband must know,if he’s the father,so take a d.n.a test first,
I’m in the same mess, I had a fling with a lady she was married,she had a child 4 me a little girl,she moved to anquillla,her husband died,and she remarried, and her new husband owned my little girl, over 9yrs I supported my child every month, yet I cant see her,maybe I’ll never will cause the man dont wont me to see my child,it was a mistake it happend now I’m paying for it,you too wil have to face your shadows,
El heffe,
ALL KIDS ARE WOMEN INVESTMENT.IN THE END MEN GET NOTHING FROM THEM OURS OR NOT.
When it comes to the third child in question, your husband is ……..not the father.
Woman free your conscience and be at peace with yourself.
Next time lock it down sister, stop sharing your joy.
WOW!!!! Daaaaammmmmnnnnn!!!! What to say? Maybe you should tell your husband for the sake of clearing your conscience , forgiveness from the Lord and maybe from your husband and definitely your child. You don’t want to hear your child later down in life marrying his/her brother/sister she never knew she had. But first, do a DNA test to be certain the child is definitely not your husband’s child. See what temptation can cause?
you need some b*ll*t in your blowow. D*tty GAl.
What make you believe that your husband eh now that is not his child….De man dun know from de get go and he just givn you a long rope….Haven’t you notice a change in your marriage?
You should take a DNA test it’s easy.. hair strands from the comb, both your husband and the kid, and you can do the same for yourself. You can have the test done without disclosing your indentities. Unless the child is not his, then hush your mouth, plus it’s not just your husband to consider. How about your co-worker is he married, in a committed relationship? is he open to take care of that kid should your husband kick you and the kid out?
what about the time and love your husband has invested in the child, and the child in him? is it really worth it.. I say hell no. hush your mouth and keep your legs close in the future. Telling can only bring pain across the board and misery.
Child, leave well enough alone. Take the damn secret to your grave, you don’t know the pain you will bring to your family. That’s the man’s child and leave it be! Good luck
Girl, before u put yourself in needless chaos I would suggest that you do the following as a process of elimination:
1. Take a simple blood test of yourself and your children.
2. If things get worse spend some money and get your kids genetically tested right here in Dominica. This test has a 99.999% accuracy rate.
3. If the results put your nerves to rest – that the last is your husband’s then keep your business of conscience to yourself and sin no more. There is a saying that what one does not know never hurts one. Some people just can’t handle the truth and it is for their own good that you keep these matters private.
4 If u think that your conscience is troubling you , girl go and take extra classes online, or at UWI as is too much time you have on your hand to be thinking.
To hell with that – you not d first and u will not be the last.
We all have needs that cannot be explained – yours might be a threesom that u cannot get fulfilled within the same time and space and so you compensate how best u can
Well my dear this is a sad situation. If you were truely happy I dont think u would cheat on your husband. I believe u should tell your husband the truth because he deserves to know it and if he is understanding the marriage will be ok but dont expect him to trust u anymore. The marriage may not be the same I’ll tell u that. It may not be what u want but at least your conscience will be cleared.
lady just take a good gulp and swallow that and keep it the way it was
he knows its not his he’s happy u happy just let the man love all his kids
she should listen to that song for real
Alas I feel your pain. I know of a situation like that… you never know until it happens..I cannot condone cheating but sometimes things happen. Mistakes are made. Sometimes people fall in love with persons other than their spouses and it is problems.
If it was just for cheating alone.. maybe I will say do not say. But when a child is involved.. you’ve got to do something… sooner or later. Cause this is someone’s legacy…some one’s life.. race, genes. If you have the means and resources, do a DNA test and then… if the test shows it is your husband’s child..it will free up some guilt. But you still have to ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself and put more effort into your marriage. If the test shows it is your co-worker’ child.. then you will have to inform all parties…now… or one by one at different times in life.
Promiscuity is dangerous.. .do not repeat it.
Mrs you should have protected your self and your husband and your family. Not only should u be wondering if the child is his you should be wondering what if i had brought AIDS home. Tell him the truth if your home is so happy he will understand. What happy wife cheats on their husband
according to my professor, Girl you in a hot mess. lol
i not in that one. but it will not go down good with him. good luck.
I believe in this case it should be “ignorance is Bliss”. He will be better off not knowing because telling him would cause so much pain especially if the marriage broke up, the innocent children would be the ones to suffer most. Telling him she had an affair would be painfulI enough but to also tell him one of his children may not be his????? The whole family would suffer too much so just carry on as before and keep her secret guilt hidden.
bella she is not a miss she is a Mrs.
Oh my Lord.. the day has truly come for that lady…. sad to say I can’t feel ur pain.. but I feel for ur husband… This is going to be some serious tragedy.. God help u and ur family .. I hope it don’t end up being a total chaos.
i am sorry my dear but you should indeed tell your husband the truth and don’t hold it longer just ask him for forgiveness.
@Sad: TRUE DAT
Where are all the ladies out there who usually chastise men for being infidel? I am not condoning guys when they cheat but I believe the an equal amount of objection and condemnation should be leveled at a female for such behavior.
While it is true that this lady has failed to clear her doubt early in the game thereby creating a great build up of unrealized pain and suffering it is DEDDD correct that relationships are built on TRUST and when Trust is GONE Relationship is NO MORE. NO Amount Of Money, Gifts, Romance, xes (read backwards) will repair broken trust.
I suggest that this young lady prepare to deal with a dismantling of her family if she wants to clear her conscience. All the best on this one.
trouble in camp now cause if u doh tell him maybe i will tell him take a look at the kids closely
Saqway salope
‘Some’ things are better left unsaid……you should listen to the song of Tanya – ‘A little white lie’
You’re in deep.
some of the best relationships are based on a single yet dangerous lie…
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