Dear BellaMy mother wanted to have an affair with my boyfriend. Several times she tried to seduce him by calling him and talking to him like a lover.

When all this started happening I thought she was just concerned about me but my boyfriend told me that my mother is inviting to sleep with her.

I got frustrated with him because I trusted my mother.

The I caught her red handed with the help of my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend to call her and put the phone on speaker.

For the first time I heard her talking like a promiscuous woman. I am so devastated and shocked.

I know my boyfriend did not do anything wrong but I am not sure now.

Please help me to decide.



Dear Frustrated,

I think you gave me half the story.  Why are you now doubting your boyfriend?  That mystery keeps me from giving you an informed response.

We will however deal with the situation that was highlighted.  Why is your boyfriend entertaining your mother’s flirting and eventual invitation to bed?  I think as an adult, he should be able to confront your mother and let her know what he thinks of what she is going.

Being upfront with someone does not necessarily mean being disrespectful.  He can very calmly ask her to stop the calls.  He can even threaten her by telling her that he will let you know if she persists.  As long as he encourages her advances by listening to her, she will only get more crude as to what she wants because she will start operating on false hopes.  Whatever the case, if your boyfriend is enjoying it, or not, this needs to stop.

You also need to open your eyes and mind to understanding what is really going on.  You are becoming suspicious of your boyfriend and there must be a reason.  If you are looking for a monogamous relationship (the steady), you need to know the level of commitment that your boyfriend has invested in this relationship and if what he is giving not what you have in mind, then you need to ask yourself if this is a relationship you want to continue giving time and energy to.  Never think that you can change an individual.  You are only guaranteed to change yourself.

All the best as this mystery unravels to you!



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