I am pregnant for a married man and he doesn’t care

Dear BellaI got pregnant by my friend who is 16 years older than me and happens to be married.

It’s not all that bad because he and his wife haven’t been together for like 10 years now. We only slept together once and it was because I was out partying and got drunk.

When I told him that I was pregnant he said that it wasn’t his but he eventually said he’ll take care of his child.

At first he would come over and visit but as I got further along in the pregnancy, all that changed. He no longer comes over and I’m only getting like one phone call a week.

He is now saying that he doesn’t want the baby because he already has a child and this is adding more stress on his life.

This is my first child and I am very young and because of my belief abortion is not an option for me.

He doesn’t give me any money to go to the doctor and he doesn’t buy anything for the child. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone not even my mother that he is the father of my child and to everyone it appears that my ex is the father.

I really don’t know what I should do and I’m near my sixth month. He has now become very aggressive towards me even when I don’t talk to him that often.

I know this was a mistake on my side because I knew better. I don’t want a relationship with him…I never did.

I just need him to take care of his child.

Please help!

Confused
……………………………………………………………………………………………..
Dear Confused,

First of all, if you live on the island of Dominica, let me remind you that abortion is illegal and both you and the person performing the surgery will be arrested if found out.  Also, because of the clandestine manner in which these abortions have to be done, they are not always accurately done.  You are prone to infection and sometimes the abortions are only partly done, which can cause you to end up in the hospital and even lose your life by hemorrhaging.  This is something to take very seriously.

Secondly, regardless how this child came, I know that there is only one giver of life, the Creator of the Universe.  You have an heritage within you which you now have to make up your mind and love, care about and sacrifice for.

This married man is ashame in many ways: he is still married after being separated for ten years; he is concerned about what people will think about him.

Divorces are permitted here, so that man could have released himself by now, also he does not want people to know that he is slept out simply because he knows that he is still married.  Honestly, you do not need to worry about him if he does not want to be a part of you and your child’s life.  It is better that he is far away than he is there tormenting you and the baby.

The act has already been done.  Let your parents know who your child’s father is.  I am not too sure of the law here, but for sure when baby is born, you can take him to family court to support his child.  The Court will ensure that you have the assistance needed for the baby.  I think he will be more embarrassed by that than by just coming to claim his seed.

In the mean, keep your head clear.  You need as much peace as is necessary to have a healthy, happy baby.  And please, be responsible enough that you will not get another child after a careless night.  Don’t you think about STIs?  You have some life re-adjustments to make as you move into mommyhood.

Congratulations on your little person!  I pray you have a safe delivery and a healthy baby!

Bella

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120 Comments

  1. marylo
    September 3, 2015

    Rev Hill..i feel..as a Rev you cannot be judgemental.Jesus was never a judge of pple even when they sinned.he made them repent by loving them..i also feel your advice tho good loses value by judging a person who has scars already.instead of being loving you bash her..then she becomes defensive..then u achieved nothing.

  2. tashablue
    February 15, 2014

    this girl is a liar ,u were drunk and u knew who pregnanted u ,are u sure u were not taken by rounds , that man should get a DNA some of this dominican young girls Are very destructive, she have written the man is seperated for 10 yrs u people are killing each other fighting for her, was she raped , the bottom line the man is married,why even friends with a married man, this girls are sick , dominican young girls love a married man God have mercy, the sins of the parents falling on them , how many are products of marriages , baby mama ,baby papa drama , God and repent stop following married men, they giving all u 100 ec dollars and give u bad blood, u peoiple better educate your daughters well,in dominica , so this y0ung girls spoil my friends marriage, they love money , married man come tell him go , what is wrong with this young ladies ,at your age u partying and drunk , u are a disgrace.your parents allow u party they are disgrace too ,carry your cross ,thats your punishment.God is angry with home wreckers,he is seperated for 10 yrs what a liar u are ,so u filling in the space ,u better be honest here .are u sure its the married man or a young boy u dont know.DNA DNA DNA

    • confused
      February 21, 2014

      ye ah he did DNA and guess what he is the father…….!!!! And I don’t need him never did. I’m a disgrace?? Don’t try to put me in ur shoe and my parents are very proud of me. Thank you. I think u are the disgrace…. BTW none of this negativity held me back cause I’m still off to university in September so get a life my dear :lol: :) :)

      • May 12, 2014

        You left a scandal behind and took a psychological scar with you.

        Please don’t pretend none of his bothers you. If it didn’t bother you, you would not have written to Bells.

        You owe the man’s wife an apology.

        The man owes you an apology.

        He owes you and the child support.

        Running off to university makes nothing right.

        Yes, you should build a life for yourself and the child. But build on a sure foundation.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
  3. January 20, 2014

    Did you expect him to care?

    Of course he doesn’t care!

    If he was a good man – the kind who would care – he would not have cheated on his wife and fornicated with a younger woman.

    To make matters worse he took advantage of you when you were drunk!

    You say he doesn’t “care”. What do you mean “care”? If he left his wife would that make him “care”?

    Please realize this man belongs to another woman. If he cared he would not have touched you in the first place. You knew the kind of man he is and that is exactly what you got involved with.

    I hope you will detach yourself from him completely – physically and emotionally – and stop thinking about him. Concentrate on your little one. Begin to build a life with the two of you. If you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, start attending a Bible believing evangelical church,and begin to read your Bible, you will gain a new beginning.

    When you become a good person God may bring a good man into your life. I am not talking off the top of my head. I have seen it happen again and again. Honest!

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

    • Anonymous
      September 18, 2014

      I thnk they are both wrng cos the man knew tht he is married why dd he sleep wth her and the girl knew that ths man is married bt she sleep wth hm so the man must tke the responsibility for his actions

      • December 13, 2014

        Both the man and woman must take responsibility for their actions.

        The woman had sex with a married man. She was committing adultery against his wife.

        The man had sex with a single woman. He was committing adultery against his wife.

        They both sinned against each other by committing an improper sex act that robbed one another of virtue and respect.

        Worst still the fact that a baby is involved who will probably be born illegitimate and may never have a relationship with its father.

        People who transgress God’s moral code seldom consider the implications of their few minutes of immoral pleasure.

        This should be a warning to all. However, it should be known that the precious blood of Jesus Christ will cleanse from all sin (1 John 1:7) those who believe in Him (St. John 3:16) (St. John 3:36) and receive HIM as their Saviour. (Revelation 3:20)

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
  4. SavedbyGrace.
    January 3, 2014

    “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.” Come on Dominicans, this type of behavior will never stop. However, we cannot turn a blind eye. Let’s speak up against all sin. This type hurts the most because feelings, babies and relationships are involved. We have too many broken homes already. Let’s endeavor to change. Young people beware. It may be hard, but “close your legs to married men.”

    • February 9, 2015

      Two timeless principles for a happy and lasting marriage are:

      (1) Abstinence before marriage.

      (2) Chastity after marriage.

      Add to these love, respect, and forgiveness and you will have the things a lifelong marriage is made of :!:

      Many unbelievers despise those who live by the moral code God in the New Testament. Their worst and most stinging insults are reserved for those who teach the traditional family values found in the Bible. But we are not the ones who are writing to Bella for help, seeing a counselor, going into therapy, or signing ourselves into a psych ward.

      In over fifty years of ministry – part of which has been spent doing pastoral counseling – I have never seen ONE marriage that fell apart where both the husband and wife made CHRIST the center of their relationship and lived by the instructions God has given us for marriage in the New Testament.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. D.D. International Evangelist.

  5. wonna know
    November 23, 2013

    Bella, you mentioned DIVORCE IS NOT PERMITTED HERE. Can someone please expand on that statement. Is divorce not allowed in document, can a man and wife not be legally divorced in dominca if they decide they no longer want to live and or be man and wife?

    • citizen
      November 25, 2013

      DONT U ALL READ PROPERLYY!!!! “Divorces are permitted here, so that man could have released himself by now, also he does not want people to know that he is slept out simply because he knows that he is still married.”

  6. ignorance
    November 23, 2013

    most of the comments on this seems to be from immature stupid women, casting the blame on the woman and not on the man.
    The man didn’t know he was married before he went about sticking his business where it don’t believe or was it that he was so drunk he didn’t know it was not his wife? If him and his wife has not been together in 10 yrs alyou think he’s been without sexual activity in 10 yrs, how many of you on here may have slept with him yourself.. yo just ain’t get caught …..
    Women are so stupid .. alyou blaming the other woman while living and loving up the man that hurt them … that’s why the man will do it again, with another woman .. FOOLS!

  7. truth
    November 23, 2013

    Everyone is “Innocent” until proven guilty.. the most high knows all your deeds, so preach to those that don’t know but don’t think the most important person knows all your transgressions.. on judgement day alyou can’t hide. The young lady acknowledge that she made a mistake at least she is taking accountability for her actions, many of you still living in denial for all your slutty behaviors , and that is only because you didn’t get caught.. or so you think .. your deeds will eventually catch up with you.

    To this young lady, he did not bring you this far to leave you. This maybe hard now, however i am sure this is a blessing in disguise. It sounds like you are a person of moral standards, you made a mistake and we are all allowed to make those. Keep your head up even if he never acknowledges his child, you will make it .. keep pushing on, that child will make you proud one day and when he comes ah knocking that child will say ” i know you not” so let him carry on. If you can and you are financially able, you should take him to court, do a paternity test and have him pay child support so what if he gets angry .. sometimes by will or by force is the only way.

  8. J.J.
    November 21, 2013

    Typical ignorant and hypocritical dominicans.

  9. Anonymous
    November 21, 2013

    Based on most of the comments here its OBVIOUSLY clear that Dominicans still haven’t matured mentally. This young woman, whoever she is made a mistake as she fully admitted. She isn’t the first and all of you know she wont be the last. So if you wanna say something give the young lady some support and good advice cuz it takes heart to post something like that on the net (even if she didn’t post her name). But guess what, someone knows that a certain young girl went out wit a married man and slept wit him and now she’s pregnant. Don’t you all think that if this person reads this post they may just know who the story fits. So right there she faces persecution on the streets by those who know her. With all that said; we Dominicans tend to point fingers at people because we feel that we should or because we want to remove some shadow over us and send it over someone else. If we continue with that attitude we aint goin nowhere fast. Be more positive and resourceful in yall comments please.

    SIGNED:::::::A 25 yr old father…Mr C

  10. annoyed
    November 21, 2013

    I am so annoyed by some of ya’ll commemts..talkin about christian and shouldn’t open her legs every single female here opens their damn legs give d gurl a breka so giving ón her going to do what? He didn’t knw he ωαѕ married too and I’m sure she didn’t push herself or go ater d man..yes she knws that she being responsible is a bad thing. All ƴo̷̷̷ΰ peiple do is judge talking about she shud think before having sex with a ma a marrried man n d pastor that talking about is because young people doh have god!! Oh please. The people ĭמ your church doing it too.. If its because young people don’t have god y do pastors have sex with people ĭמ their churches??u need to find something to talk about and wish the girl a wonderful childbirth..and court she need to take him to take care of his child he trying to cover his reputation bcuz he married. God don’t sleep all too like to judge people when some of allu doing worst than that!! Shut allu asses and grow up ĭמ allu head shait man!! Stop judging some of allu parents used to go with ubcles and brother ĭמ laws and people fathers that well marri

  11. dont care
    November 21, 2013

    some women judging this young lady he who is without sin cast the first stone no sin is greater than the other be it the man married or not he has a right to take care of his responsibilities some of those judging is they that have more faults who have there man and have five others taking them etc so give the young lady some good advise and stop putting more stress on her

  12. LisaWhite-MsDominica
    November 21, 2013

    WOMAN you too salop. Keep your legs close to married men.. NUFF SAID

    • May 12, 2014

      No matter if the dude is married or single.

      Abstinence before marriage is the only safe policy. Those who adopt God’s moral code and live by the BOOK do not have these problems.

      So lady, you don’t have to wonder “Is he married?”

      If he is not YOUR husband he is off limits and out of the question when it comes to sex.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

  13. Really!!!!!
    November 21, 2013

    what on earth am i seeing there wee, firstly yes it is illegal to get an abortion which is a shame as we would not have the sadness of people bringing unwanted children into this world and making them suffer, they did not ask to be born, as well as it is bad for rape victims to have to bear there rapist child, so it is the dark ages we live for that.
    Secondly if you all a good catholic/christian then why are you sleeping with a married man and if you so dam religous that you having sex out of wed lock?
    people pick and choose when they want to be religous and the reason why, this silly little girl offering a man sex on a plate and any man would take that,and his story well child when you become older and more life experianced, that aint the only story they tell you to get in to your pants, but you would have known that if you where not a child.
    young women/girls of dominica remeber if you wants to play with a man you need to have respect for yourself and learn about safe sex, not just for pregnancy reason but respect for your health, dont just think because you have a mans child in ya belly he gonna drop his life and run to you, no he will think you nothing but a pain in his back side, and for one moment think of his wifes feelings, how would you feel if that was your husband.
    And Dear Bella love your coloum but come on please take time to check what you write as you looking like you agree with girls doing nonsense and acting like salop!!!!!!!!

  14. Da self
    November 20, 2013

    LOL take that in you skin! you never thinking about that when you was ramping up the woman husband??

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      SEPARATED FOR 10 YEARS……If the wife wanted him back, he would have been home by now like a little puppy dog.

  15. November 20, 2013

    Confused:

    Bella has given you excellent advise :idea: and I hope you will follow it.

    May I reinforce what she has said and add a few thoughts of my own? 8-O

    You are right about abortion. It is wrong. I am so glad you have decided against it. Not only is it against the law in Dominica. It is against God’s law. There are health risks even in a “legal” abortion. But illegal abortions are especially dangerous :cry: because (a) they are sometimes performed by unqualified people, (b) they are frequently performed in unhealthy surroundings, (c) the people who do this work often have a secret contempt for their “patients” and don’t hold themselves to high professional standards. (d) There is no proper follow-up. If you get an infection or have other problems
    afterwards there is no place you can trust to go for help. :oops:

    I hope you will refrain from drinking alcohol during your pregnancy. Even one drink a day can harm your baby. Excessive drinking can damage the child for life. Have a good diet including vegetables and fresh fruits. Avoid excessive salt and sugar intake. Please don’t smoke! :-o This is very bad for the baby. It would be a good thing to not smoke (if you do) ever again. Second hand smoke is as harmful as the smoke a person inhales.

    Confused, when it comes to smoking and drinking during pregnancy I have personally seen the consequences. 8-O Believe me, they are not a pretty sight. I am a father and a grandfather who has worked as a pastor and a certified pastoral counselor, (C.P.C.). Please understand I am only writing this way because I care about people, :-x especially young people.

    The married man :evil: who did this to you is not a fit partner for you and he would not be good for the child. The best thing you can do is politely but FIRMLY tell him you are breaking off with him. Let him know the “relationship” is over. Have no more contact with him except to arrange for him to give some support for the baby and have (hopefully supervised) visiting rights at a future time. I say this because:

    (1) HE IS NOT A MAN WHO CAN BE TRUSTED. He is cheating on his wife. How do you know he wouldn’t cheat on you? Looking at a man’s past behavior is the best way to predict his future performance. His promises mean nothing because they depend on (a) His understanding of right and wrong, and (b) his good character and will power. It appears he has none of these things. If he does they have certainly failed him!

    (2) HE SHOWS HE STILL HAS AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH HIS WIFE. He has had plenty of time to divorce her if he wanted to let her go. This suggests he is still seeing her OR he has hopes of getting back with her.

    (3) HE HAS AN UNHEALTHY LIFESTYLE INCLUDING A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH ALCOHOL. No healthy well adjusted man is going to party with a girl 16 years younger than him, get drunk, get her drunk, have unprotected sex, get her pregnant, deny the baby is his, and then try to dump her.

    (4) HE HAS NO LOVE FOR THE BABY AND OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT WANT IT. Situations like this often result in physical abuse of both the woman and the child later when there are problems with things like finances, sickness, discipline of the child or children, or the attraction of another woman. This is especially true if alcohol is involved. Physical abuse can result in murder charges being laid.

    (5) HE IS ALREADY SHOWING THAT ANY LOVE YOU THOUGHT HE HAD FOR YOU IS GROWING COLD. (I am afraid you mistook sex for love.) Didn’t you say he doesn’t come over anymore and he only calls you about once a week?

    Confused, he can probably be legally forced to contribute something towards the support of the child. I advise you to find out what the law says about this.

    Also, tell your Mom! She will find out anyway. Sit down with her and (as calmly as you can) tell her the whole story. :oops: Remember she is also a woman! She lived through the period of life that you are now living through. Two things will likely happen. First, she will be upset at first. :roll: (Wouldn’t you be?) Second, you will probably be surprised 8-O at how understanding she is. I expect she will be your best friend :!:

    If you get Mom aboard with you the two of you (along with God’s help) CAN and WILL make it work! :lol:

    I invite you to visit our website:

    http://www.livinghopeministries.ca

    Click onto THE EAGLE COURSE. This 12 Lesson Workbook Manual can be studied from the screen or copied ABSOLUTELY free! The very first lesson will tell you how to receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and begin a new life that is so full it overflows!

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  16. alcohol
    November 20, 2013

    It’s funny how every Facebook, Twitter or BBM profile that you view,there so happens to be a young Dominican man or woman going on about how much Hennessy, Hypnotique, RedCap they drank the night before.This is partly where the problem lies.We need to understand that being in the limelight drinking, partying and forgetting that life has to return to normal is what gets us in trouble. Young lady,I feel sorry that you made this mistake at so young an age but it’s done already. Keep your child and move on from there. If the man doesn’t want to be a part of this child’s life, forget him. You never needed him anyway. Are you the only person that he slept with? Is he the only person that you slept with recently? Why is he denying your child?

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      He said that he does not want his wife to find out so obviously he knows that the child is his. First he said it is not his, later on he stated that he want to take care of his child. She should allow her family to get involve.

  17. November 20, 2013

    dont worry god is so good he forgives ok take care of your baby and do what you have to do ok

  18. LegiT
    November 20, 2013

    i feel sorry for you my dear but as a man i am not having unprotected sex with any female who is not my mate..u should walk with your condom and make sure you put it on for him..pregnancy is one thing but you could have gotten STDs.

    • SavedbyGrace.
      January 3, 2014

      Agreed. If you really can’t control yourself, then protect yourself. Please do not blame it on the AAAALLLLCOOOHHHHHOOOOLLLL. Some females here do wait until they are married to have sex, a relationship blessed by GOD. Remember, the bed is undefiled in marriage. Sin creeps in and corrupts everything.

  19. Guidiance
    November 20, 2013

    Well my dear you are my friend and i know the story.. people the party was her fairwell party because she was off to university. he knew she was drunk and because i know this young lady personally i am on her side because she is a very respectable person has alot of respect for heself and others so all the people with the negative please SHUT YA’LL ASSES.

    • November 20, 2013

      Her education didn’t stop her from messing up big time.

      Her respectability didn’t stop her from getting drunk and giving herself to a married man.

      It seems the booze was flowing quite freely at her farewell party. Who planned the party? Whoever it was would not have included alcohol if it was not part of her life style.

      Granted she has enough negativity in her life and many of the commentators have nothing to offer but more negativity.

      Young people today (as in the past) are getting
      into trouble because they don’t have Christ. The most positive thing anybody can do is introduce them to HIM :!: He has changed millions
      of lives. :-D No negativity here!

      I’m not talking about religion. I’m talking about a relationship with Christ. When we say people need to “receive Christ” we are not using a figure of speech. He is an actual person who will come into our hearts and lives. When He does he forgives our sins, breaks the chains, and sets us free.

      To every one out there who is messed up I say,

      You are just a piece of driftwood,
      Cast out upon life’s sea.
      All you need is Jesus,
      To no longer driftwood be.

      Please consider:

      Romans 3:10, Romans 10:23, 1 Corinthians 15:3,4,
      1 John 1:7, St. John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8,9, 1 John 5:11,12, and Revelation 3:20!

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

      • MJ
        November 20, 2013

        With all do respect to you, this also happens in the church. More often that the church people wants to admit.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
      • November 26, 2013

        MJ: You have made a good point. This does happen to people in churches, and yes, maybe more often than church people think. :cry:

        PLease allow me to clarify my own statements by adding the following points. 8-O

        (1) Even committed Christians sometimes fall. :oops: This happens when they (a) get away from the Lord, and (b) leave themselves open to temptation. If they confess their sins they will be forgiven and cleansed according to 1 John 1:9,10, and 1 John 2:1. :-o

        (2) Not everybody in the churches are genuine Christians. 8) Some are church attenders, even members, who have never been born again. It is being born again that makes a person a Christian according to St. John 3:3. Merely going to church will not make you a Christian any more than going to a barn will make you a cow. :-x

        (3) There are people outside the churches who are true Christians. God wants every Christian to be part of a Bible believing church. But some are in between churches because they have recently moved into a different locality and have not yet found a new church, or they may be recent converts to Christ and don’t yet have a spiritual home. Unfortunately some Christians have some disagreement in the church they attended and have dropped out. Often they return or find another church home. :)

        (4) However, here is the point I was trying to make. People who are committed to Christ and have HIM in their lives will be living by the Bible. :idea: They usually avoid the serious problems that destroy lives. If they fall they get up again.

        (5) People whose lives are sadly messed up in sin can receive Christ and be completely changed by the grace and power of God. We have seen many people who appeared to be worthless… people who were held in the steel trap of alcohol, drugs, or sexual perversion, come to Jesus and be set free. We have known people who were the worst kind of criminals. They found Christ. :-? No! He found them :!: They were transformed! :lol:

        The Bible says:

        “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      That’s right, tell them. THOSE WITHOUT SIN…CAST THE FIRST STONE. There is only one person without sin and he is omnipotent (The powerful almighty).

    • SavedbyGrace.
      January 3, 2014

      Potty mouth, you should have taken her home when you saw that she was drunk and not in her right mind. Then this hrny man would not have taken advantage of her. Some friend you are.

      • May 12, 2014

        Amen.

        Things like this only happen when people allow them to happen :!:

        We are our brother’s or sister’s keeper.

        A true friend would have said “Over my dead body.”

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. International Evangelist.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  20. ti nom
    November 20, 2013

    wow, 1st time and he breed you? impressive

  21. It takes too
    November 20, 2013

    Both are guilty but the child is innocent. Honestly if what she said is true I would wait until a paternity test can prove that I am the baby father before I make any commitment or announcement. I’m just saying.

  22. November 19, 2013

    The young lady fell for the man, irespective of he being married. didn’t the man remebered that he is married? remeber it’s 10 years now he is not with wifey. Is it the first and only sex he had after the ten years seperation. people give me a brake.PEOPLE WE ARE TO QUICK TO JUDGE, AND WHEN THE SAME HITS HOME WE HAVE SO MAN EXUSES. THE SEX WAS GOOD, BUT TO RISKY. CAREFUL PEOPLE

  23. queen
    November 19, 2013

    Everybody talking about take him to court nobody telling that YOUNG SLUT how much hurt she help to put this wife through. Talking about take him to court for support all you know if is not rape she rape the dam married man and he shame? Those young sluts does do too much things and so darn heartless now coming and talk bout man doh want child. WHAT U EXPECTED HE WOULD LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU?

    • confused
      November 20, 2013

      first of all mam, his wife left him before i knew him.. she left him for another married man… ask a question before u go around assuming ok.. if someone ended your marriage not my fault.. ok

    • Guidiance
      November 20, 2013

      Somebody take your husband from u man? leave the child alone

    • vena roberts
      November 20, 2013

      u people like to play blame game the dam man did not know he was marred, and why is he away from his wife for ten years. is he on spree time, and what pain did she cause the wife who is away from a man for ten years. bull talk.

  24. me
    November 19, 2013

    1st of all y the hell u sleeping with a married man, AND you he married.
    some women these days, they tell u some nice words and u fall for it and now see the outcome pregnant and NO BABY DADDY to take care of your baby. SMH

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      This young lady has made a mistake in her life and is asking for help. Why not give her some good advice so she will be able to look within herself to start doing the right thing. Sometimes, the ones who are persecuting are the ones who are actually doing the same thing or even worse. Yes, he is a married man and has been separated for ten years so if it is wrong for her, it should be wrong for the man because he is 16 years older and should have known better and is people like you who prevent young children who are abused to stay silent with what is happening to them.

  25. "O" STRESS"
    November 19, 2013

    Boy Dominicans like Ro-Ro.my girlfriend told me who in the kitchen that feeling the heat she also told me if the death penalty was given for this type of behavior 90% of Dominicans Men and woman would go to hell. Dam hypocrites. Messing with O.P.P.

  26. listener
    November 19, 2013

    As far as I am concern we are all sinners and mark you sleeping with a married man is not more a sin than any other sin ,we go doing all kind of sins but give us room to judge others, girl friend, don’t worry with the negative energy that surrounds you be positive and take care of your child God will provide , you never know hr/ she might turn out to be a great person in society so just be strong and God bless you and your little person.

    • DANZIGER
      November 19, 2013

      AMEN @ Listener, you heat the nail on its head.

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      It really is very sad that a grown horse like that man would entice this young woman who is 16 years younger than he is to drink alcohol, got her pregnant and even go so far as to preventing her from telling her mother. That goes to show you that he has full control over this person. That is sad.

  27. Big Sis
    November 19, 2013

    Why is the girl that carrying all the blame, maypwezay the man too, so other men will learn to leave people children alone,some of them too boldface they have no class, no integrity no moral standing, why didnt he use a condom? he knew the girl was drunk, he used her and she fell for it.I feel for u child, however next time be wise in decisions that you make whether is drinking, having sex or any other.

  28. Anonymous
    November 19, 2013

    poor ur ex

  29. ?
    November 19, 2013

    Stop talking crap there. You knew darn well that the man was married. Hsve respect for yourself, and stop messing up people’s marriages. Don’t wilfully do it, and come here crying under the guise of mistake.GO GET AN UNMARRIED MAN!

    • grace
      November 20, 2013

      what happen the man didnt realise he was married? It took both parties to have a conception. Stop hating on the girl ONLY.get real

    • Guidiance
      November 20, 2013

      how you so sure is she that mess up the marriage? cant you read he and his wife havent been together for like 10 years now. So how is she?

    • smh
      November 20, 2013

      To ?, can’t you understand English? the young woman said the man been separated for ten years and she doesn’t even want him!!! stop passing your personal man stress on the girl! geez..

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      I am not saying that what this young lady did was right. Help me to understand what is going on here. I thought that he has been separated for ten years. ARE THEY STILL LIVING TOGETHER, SEEING EACH OTHER, EXPECTATIONS OF BEING BACK TOGETHER. We do not know but yet we are persecuting.

      I know that there are people who are married but separated and go on to live separate lives.

  30. FIRE........FIRE....
    November 19, 2013

    Those things were happening way… back when, when we had no electricity, when the only rum we had was cass and zaide rum..when we had no camera. Men got there next door neighbor pregnant but kept a zipped mouth about it. The same happens to this day but no hiding place..eh? today the stories are out because of technology. all those pointing fingers they too do their crap wash their hand dry it and toss towel.you’re pregnant, and pregnancy is a blessing not a curse..just take him to court for child support..do a DNA just to be sure, do not allow him to take your strength, big pants and big shoes does not make one a man…..we must differentiate the two..he walking away is already a sign of weakness…life must go on..

  31. CHARMER
    November 19, 2013

    Some of us are too quick to judge. She admits she made a mistake so ease up on the girl.

    • me myself
      November 20, 2013

      she did not make any mistake /read,she knew fully well he was a married man b4 sleeping with him,so now she is paying the price of sleeping with a married man,whether man or not sleeping with any man there is a possibility.so no mistake about it.

  32. My Turn
    November 19, 2013

    You Dominicans are so damn hypocrite. You all are breaking the young girl’s back because she slept with a married man. like hey stuff like that don’t happen. well it do happens. we are all imperfect. Imperfect that we steal, lie even when we have big jobs in society. The girl made a mistake and she realized that she’ve made one. Right now we have to focused on the pain that she is going through. Stop talking like Dom in a can and be more positive.the sex was nice at d time yeah.. but she’s feeling the pain and i am really sorry for her situation. god bless u my dear and you are not the first nor the last.

    • Grandbay
      November 19, 2013

      You are so correct, I had a relationship with a man never knew he was married until we went to the immigration department.

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      Yes, they are hypocrite indeed cause so many of them were fathered by married men and their parents were probably too a shame to tell them….

      • SavedbyGrace.
        January 3, 2014

        So then it’s OK? If your mother/sister/aunty/cousin did it, should you do it also?. Come on, If you know better, do better.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  33. November 19, 2013

    why didn’t you bring it on DOMINICA NEWS ONLINE when you was sleeping with him…now you got punished with a pregnancy you want to bring it online..We need to learn from our mistakes..do not sleep with married men..or peoples man..find your own..

    • Jen
      November 19, 2013

      Pregnancy is not a punishment, it is considered a blessing. This may be the only child she will ever have.
      And by the way man sleeping with man so we have no choice than to share the straight ones.

      Men need to explain they are married before drugging or intoxicating women so they can sleep with them without their knowledge.

      I wonder how long is your list.

    • Waka Flaca
      November 19, 2013

      Tell your Husband wear his committed ring,it signifies I am taken…So people like me won’t get mistaken…

  34. November 19, 2013

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  35. November 19, 2013

    I feel sorry about her! :mrgreen: :twisted:

  36. Cyrique
    November 19, 2013

    This must be a very painful experience for you. Please tell your Mum because she”ll be the one person whom you can rely on. I also hope that other young women reD about your experience and take note. You’ve made a mistake but that child may be the one to look after you one day. At least you’ve realised the price you’ve paid. God bless you darling.

  37. Anonymous
    November 19, 2013

    just pray to god he is the only one that can help you right now. Put all the negative things behind you and move on. just remember whatever you eat your child will eat also.the only time you should talk to him is in court.

  38. laplaine
    November 19, 2013

    next time leave people man alone .I just hope this one is not for my hussy

    • Guidiance
      November 20, 2013

      seems like your husband got one pregnant already.

  39. sad
    November 19, 2013

    Info missing, are you in school/college, employed, unemployed? this information would be more helpful for giving advice.

    • confused
      November 20, 2013

      i’m 18, suppose to be off to university next year, i do work online for the university im suppose to attend.

  40. straight
    November 19, 2013

    Go and drink allu rum and when allu get allu wood and man break inside allu come and cry for Bella about allu pregnant.
    Young women need to constantly engage themselves in responsible behavior. Not going out and having drunk unprotected sex with different men.
    Now is time to face the consequenses of your stupidity.

  41. November 19, 2013

    Bella you have stressed and emphasized on “abortion”there was no need for that at all.this young lady said from the very beginning that she was against …none the less you said you do not know the laws in dominica ,in case she would like to take the father to court ,there is no where on earth that THE law says ,that a father is not responsible of taking care of his child…no where at all ..
    All the people who think that this young lady have more sins ,than they have because she bedded a married man ,let them throw the first stone…fornication is also a sin and i am very sure that almost all of you including myself are having sex and we are not married…You all talk with hatred towards this young lady…remember that ,God said love your neighbour as yourself because if you cannot love those that you can see how can you love me that you have not seen…We have all sinned and come short of the glory of GOD.
    Young lady ,talk to you parents about it…then go to a lawyer,make a DNA test ,take the matter to court and make sure that he pays child support
    .He knew that he was married he should have put something on the “end of it”.walk your head up high and higher than ever because if God is for you no one can be against you…there are more men that are not married that refuse taking care of their children,,,GOOD LUCK

  42. atlanta
    November 19, 2013

    you should have not drank all that rum .don’t you know it would have get you drunk.i agree we all make mistake at times we have feelings.you should remember he is a married man.in the first place so that u would not sleep with him.learn to respect yourself and other people relationship.respect married couples.And we women must not let married men fool us ,they all love there wives .they are just spending a time with us ,the night that we so want the or on that special occasion they home with there families .learn to have what is yours.all i am telling u woman take him to cut and pray and take care of your kid dear.

    • stone mountain
      November 19, 2013

      What you have at home is yours alone, we sharing him

  43. unknown
    November 19, 2013

    The man didn’t want u he just wanted to use u……so nxt time don’t sleep with married pple…..

    • waters 69
      November 20, 2013

      U RIGHT :mrgreen: :lol: :?:

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      Oh please….a single man could have done just the same and even worse. Everyone is blaming the young lady, what about the man. Its like everyone is giving the man right for what he did. Maybe his wife don’t want him anyway cause he might have done that in the past and it just so happen that this young lady was brave enough to ask for help…..THOSE WITHOUT SIN….CAST THE FIRST STONE.

  44. Concerned Individual
    November 19, 2013

    I don´t understand some people. The young woman has admitted that she made a mistake and some people still want to castigate her. Don´t we all make mistakes? My dear, God is good and He will provide. Don´t let this man bring u down. Hold your head high and ensure that you have a healthy baby. Talk to your parents about your situation and see what happens… but please, don´t let something like that happen to you again. A baby is a big responsibility and a life long commitment. May the good Lord bless you and provide for you and the baby.

    • MJ
      November 20, 2013

      That is the problem with human beings. When someone is being truthful and admit to the wrong they have done, most people are eager to condemn that person. But if that young lady had told a like and make it look good, everyone would be giving her praise. My dear take up your cross and walk. They did worse to Jesus himself. If I were you, I would tell my mother and that is a start….Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.

  45. villager
    November 19, 2013

    Well is so it is when u dnt care. Take it easy God is God u will get a boy or a girl !!!! Idiot , u knew better so leave de man alone n mind ur child cause u were too fast.

  46. perfectly unperfect
    November 19, 2013

    Everyone makes mistakes it doesn’t matter how it was done. No one’s perfect.. So sweety don’t bring yourself down to those who say you shouldn’t have slept with a married man in the first.. It is wrong to do that’s a fact but you’re not perfect no one is so just live a life with no stress and I hope u have a healthy baby. Wen something goes wrong in a womans life its always another woman to judge wen their background aint cleaner

  47. Artfield
    November 19, 2013

    What did you expect? you knew he was married so why come and reveal your dirty laundry on Bella?

    • A Higher Calling
      November 19, 2013

      Maybe you yourself is a product of adultery. How do you know that your mom didn’t sleep with a married man. Get off your hight horse. If stones were to be cast at sinners…You, yes you would be stoned many times over. Stupes.

      • Waka Flaca
        November 19, 2013

        I don’t know how high yo name callin,but we all have sins and come short of the glory of God..In the time of Christ there were mistakes even at the doorstep of the churches..

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
    • Ma Boisey
      November 19, 2013

      She again have the guts to reveal her shame which is not a secret because she put it to the public but u have all these kids and yo man think they are his…check yo list….

  48. Ben Haynes PSY.D
    November 19, 2013

    e should have given you triplets. You idiot.

    • A Higher Calling
      November 19, 2013

      You and all those who like your comment are bigger idiots. Looks like you are perfect, sinless, blameless. What she did is no worse than your backbiting, lying, stealing, jealousy and HATING…the list can go on. If you have never done any of the above go on and cast stones at her. At least she admitted. And didn’t you read? She got drunk…. shish

      • trolol
        November 20, 2013

        Seems like you have an excuse for everything. I detest people like you. -.-

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1
      • Ben Haynes PSY.D
        November 20, 2013

        Yeah, drink until you are drunk. Get a man in a mess by getting pregnant, report it and call on people to feel sorry. What a sad state of affair. What is more disturbing than that? Frankly, she made the mess, now its up to her to do right. We can only hope that she will be a good mother, leave the man alone, and bring up that child accordingly. No pity from me. And you men, know what that type of woman will bring to you. Too bad you will have to support a child you may not want.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3
  49. gmmm
    November 19, 2013

    The best idea is for the woman to get a DNA test when the baby is born.

  50. gmmm
    November 19, 2013

    respect ppl husband

    • 2 CuTe
      November 19, 2013

      Those husbands need to respect their wives

      • ?
        November 19, 2013

        And it goes both ways to.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
    • papa met!
      November 19, 2013

      i hope you self not with a married man

    • heart bleeds
      November 19, 2013

      no sense husbands should respect their wives to , have your child then take him to court to fee it

    • A Higher Calling
      November 19, 2013

      Do you respect people in general. She made a mistake people. Haven’t you ever. God help people like you who think you are little gods.

  51. Krazy
    November 19, 2013

    bella u didn’t need to emphasize so much about abortion, she quoted that abortion is not an option for her because of her beliefs… but i gotta agree with u tat she keeps far away from him as possible during her pregnancy then take him for child maintenance after birth.
    be strong my girl, hopefully u got the support of ur family and friends during ur trial..

    congrats on ur baby.. hope u will have a safe delivery :wink:

  52. grell
    November 19, 2013

    you women just dont get it,blame it on the rum,he is married,stop blaming others.

  53. TW
    November 19, 2013

    Alcohol does do things we but what advice are you looking for just take the man court for child support and leave him be.

  54. me
    November 19, 2013

    close ur legs next time or doh go after a next woman man so take what u get and doh blame the rum IS NOT THE RUM THAT DO YOU THAT and by the way no one force u to get drunk either so guess what i guess u learn the hard way then

    • Krazy
      November 19, 2013

      i wonder if it was u, what u would be sayin rite now.. close ur leg 2 urself.. mistakes do happen.. dont have to down someone else when the same thing could happen to u.. understand de situation na.. shoot

    • Popitlikeithot
      November 19, 2013

      We all make mistakes,mayb the ones washing their tongue on the pregnant womam did the same but did not get plug,give the girl a break and pray that she have good delivery…..In the old days many of our parents,gr-parents slept with married man,uncle Tom and so on…pray for her..

  55. iz that you hear wii
    November 19, 2013

    stupessssss

  56. .....
    November 19, 2013

    What u getting? A boy or a girl? :roll:

    • Krazy
      November 19, 2013

      does it matter what she’s gettin.. don’t think u too nosy

      • christian woman
        November 19, 2013

        why did she open her legs?
        the man is married for heaven’s sake.
        these women are just to n……y stuppes

        Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 30
      • Jen
        November 19, 2013

        Christian woman, how many did you have yourself

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
      • Grandbay
        November 19, 2013

        I wonder if you did not sleep with your pastor yourself

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
  57. One Love
    November 19, 2013

    SO ….. what else is new

    • papa met!
      November 19, 2013

      @christian woman.. you judging her right now. so that leaves me to think that you’re not a real christian

      • SavedbyGrace.
        January 3, 2014

        All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid.

        Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  58. hot day
    November 19, 2013

    If u no he. Was a married man u should. Not sleep with him n dat drunk. I. Don’t buy it one bit all I. Can say where there’s a way there’s. A will. God will c u threw hold strong my dear :wink:

  59. wow
    November 19, 2013

    I don’t feel sorry for any woman that put themselves with a married man. you should have had respect for your self to begin with.

    • doudou
      November 19, 2013

      Stupes. Who are you to judge. He who is without sin cast the first stone.So go check for the skeletons in your closet.

    • under the radar
      November 19, 2013

      Thank you…. not one piece of pity.

    • weh
      November 19, 2013

      i hope u not with one 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

    • Reader
      November 19, 2013

      Wow! Touched a nerve I see. Sorry for your heartbreak.Gwo pwell is a hell of a thing.

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