Dear Bella: My girlfriend left me because as she claims things were not working out, and now I just feel like I have nothing to live for.
I committed so much to her and was so fond of her and absolutely in love the first time I saw her. Now for the past two weeks we’re not together I don’t want to do anything but sulk about it and I have completely shut out everyone. I just don’t know what to do and I don’t feel that there is much life in me now to take on anything. She was an inspiration to me in every way and always had words of encouraging. I even took some time off work as well. Why is it that she couldn’t love me as much as I love her? I don’t want her, but need her in my life.
Fed up.
Dear Fed up,
Right now is the time you have to let go all your troubles to God for as the saying goes this too shall pass.
It may seem like your whole world is falling apart because of the love you shared; however if you stick around to enjoy life you will soon forget this and overcome this tribulation. There is a lot to life than just sitting around sulking over one person, who has probably not given thought to what her action has done to you. Confide in someone about it, cry if you have to, but be assured that you will find someone who loves you just as much as you love her and your happiness will always be her priority. You do have a lot to live for and be inspired by. So as to not be tempted to communicate with her delete her number, delete and block her off your msn messenger and social network lists like Facebook, if you have one. Just focus on making yourself happy and preoccupying yourself in activities, or with groups, organizations that will allow you to be fulfilled.
Also it’s the weekend, get out and have a good time with your friends.
Bella.
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published everyday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor
Whatever leaves your life makes room for something better, cause the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.Your best days are not behinde u, they are infront of u, the worst thing to be without ,is hope, just remember the most powerful channel of communication is prayer
God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he promise strength for the day, comfort for the tear and light for the day.
boi dat is life boi.in dis ah tyme gyals specialy in dominica dem luv man phi dem tings.u phi giv ah gyal di whole world and shi still ah cheat pun u.gyals now ahdays mi dun no wah dey be. dem cam today den tomorow dem gan way.big up yo elf big man nuff respect phi de marn ah dem dat move on dem real standing soldiers na mek gyals set u way.most ah dem ah natin good.mi reping mi city portsmouth.
Awww…..There are so many women out there looking for a guy to love.I know what you are going through.It is part of life. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Don’t let that stop u from falling in love again. We all have been hurt. Life is so unfair. No one is worth dying for. Things will get better. Time heals. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. You can’t grieve forever. You might be missing out on a wonderful person. Go out and socialize. Don’t isolate yourself it will only make things worst. I know someone who can help and his name is JESUS. Prayer changes things!!
Man get real. If you want to kill yourself go ahead and do it now. Dont tell us you going to do it. I would rather you do it than hear you stalk the person child and kill her. The woman want to move on; so what? Le the woman go on her merry way without blinking an eye. You on the other hand need to pick up the pieces and if you are the cause of the break up fix it before you start another one. If you are not the cause then lick your wounds as a soldier and get stepping. What a**ness you talking about suicide? Only maco that does do that my friend.
@ CRAZEY MACHO, LADY THE NAME SUIT U.
Young man, dont throw your life away because of someone else. Life is a gift, make good use of that gift. This is not the end of the world. Rise up my friend, raise your head above the water, make your way to shore, and LIVE. You will always find someone else to love you more than she did. Go look!!
The OP needs positive advice, he is hurting. Gush U pple, D/cans…. what else can be said.
@ FIRE, y don’t u stay away from DNO..
“WOMAN IS LIKE A BUS,THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER ONE COMMING AROUND THE CORNER.”…. U idiot, U r mayb dry and cannot ride the one U have available to U, if U have one, much less for the one that is coming around the corner. Stay away from DNO.
BOY A GWOPWEL NOT GOOD BUT I HAVE THE MEDICINE FOR THAT SEA WATER AND SOWER ORANGE , IT WORKS
WOMAN IS LIKE A BUS,THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER ONE COMMING AROUND THE CORNER.
Man, every disappointment is a blessing. Move on and trust your God.
Such is life. You must have done something really messed up for your sins to be hunting you this way. Maybe you need a different environment- travel, this will help you to come in terms to your present situation and maybe you will find a way to block it out of you rmind. Time is a great healer, you will conquer that GP soon. Don’t think of susicide- your situation is just one of the many that just needs time for you to recoperate. Take your situation as a moment to make you stronger not weaker- take it as a moment where you will leave to tell the story and save a future relationship or even a relationship of your mates.
good luck
choose to live. thats all i can tell you. take it one day at a time but live yur life boy…
i think u listening to too much sean kingston…
Mr. Fex Up this is not the end of the world. If a woman leaves you, then God intended for you to find someone better trust me. Yes its hurting now and it will for a long time because you are madly in love with her but things will get better and when they do you will be much happier. So take time out to understand the reason why it did not work and maybe in the next relationship things will work better for you.
it gets better my boy. if you feeling like killing yourself, think about it real hard. Becuz trust me she not feeling the same way and if you do go through it she still goin to move on with her life and your going to be the damm a$$ that kill urself ova some p****. Get real partner life goes on, so many women in the world, go find yourself and what it takes to make you happy. If you don’t you’ll be havin the same ole problem again. Set your goals and achieve them and enjoy life. quit feeling sorry for yourself and move on. Here’s what i’ve always realize when i was younger no matter how emotional and crazy women get in a relationship they never take their eyes of the prize. They get there education and good careers, so you should do the same. In the future find someone that loves you more, that’s the advice my mother game me- to fallin in love with someone that loves me more than i love her.
so hold tight my boy (u c it)
I meant to say that I am not on the religious side either
Love, Love, Love! I love; I am falling in love; I am in love; let us make love; this is Love that I am feeling. O my dear people, you have the wrong conception of Love!
We are all human beings in whatever kind of relationship with each other, but a lot of those kinds of relationship have nothing to do with Love. Do you know why? Because Love is of Spirit and Truth. Love is Spiritual Light, the Life that mankind receives in their soul through faith in the blood of Jesus Christ.
Love is the Person of God, in the Body of Jesus Christ, who says “I am in the Father and the Father is in me”. At Genesis1: God said, “Let there be Light” The apostle John, talking to us about Jesus Christ says: “In Him there was Life and the Life was the Light of men”. This Light in essence is the stature of Love.
My dear people, Love is of God, His Spiritual nature, which manifest in our awakened soul in the essence of joy, peace, goodness, kindness, patience, humility, endurance, and self-control. Love is the enlightenment that keeps us floating over whatever the circumstance that is taking place in our Life, no matter how bad it is. You will not want to commit suicide because of a failed relationship with your sex partner or your spouse, if you know the enlightenment or ecstasy of Love.
Fed up, the thing that is influencing you to go into a deep hole because your girlfriend left you is a thing from your human senses better known as feelings. You have four more of those senses that control your human mind, but none of them can hurt you if you live with the mind of the Spirit.
The feeling that is now a torment and torture to you, through the control of your human mind, is known as human affection, and human affection is limited in us. Perhaps you had your whole heart full of human affection towards your girlfriend, but she had a little less, and it has ran out; and who knows how much you have contributed to that downfall.
She stayed with as long as you continued to bribe her with material things. Perhaps she had enough, perhaps you stopped giving her. But if at all you shared the Love of God that is in your heart with her, she never received it; because your love for her would have bonded the two of you together, she never would have left you. Perhaps there was no Love at all.
No two people can have the same amount of human affection towards each other. And just like any other things of the flesh, human affection is futility or nothingness, it is here today and it is gone tomorrow.
But yes, those two very same people can have the Love of God in their relationship towards each other, for Jesus commanded us to love each other, even our enemies. And yes, it is our love for each other that keeps us together, regardless of if we are brothers and sisters, good friends, husband and wife or girlfriend and boyfriend.
The problem with us, human beings, is that we go into too many issues of Life, especially our intimate relationship with each other, calling it Love and leaving God out of it. We continue to talk about loving our spouse or our sex partners so much that we say we want to die for them, but that saying is as long as that challenge is not put before us.
How often do those of us who love each other so much, sit together and talk about God; or pray to Him to ask Him to bless our lives, and to give thanks to Him for those blessing? Because, if it is Love that we are experiencing, we become sensitive to the presence of God in our lives. But for most of us in relationships, the minute one of us start saying something to the other about God, we start cussing them about being religious. They do not care for our religious advice and this and that. I am on the religious either, my relationship is with Almighty God, in the Body of Jesus Christ. But most people think about it as religion.
One important thing we need to remember is that Satan is feeding us with a lot of lies, and he uses our human senses as his long spoon. He started that wicked scheme in the Garden of Eden because of his hatred and jealousy towards God. He continues with that hatred and jealousy in this world, and he is using us as his weapon, but he is not on our side.
Satan is the one that tells us that our heart-filled human affection is Love that we cannot live without, as he advises us to take our own lives. Well Love is Eternal Life in us, a free gift of God by faith in the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. When a person is filled with this Life, even the falling off with the best husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend would not influence to desire to give this Life away.
Let us learn to understand that Love is from God, in Spirit and in Truth, that we receive by faith; and Love stays with us forever because Love is Life in us. As we love each other we share Life as people of God. The rest of the stuff that we do is of the flesh, which goes back to its original form of dust, when we die.
The apostle Paul advises us to walk in the Spirit, walk in Love. There is no kind of human affection or lust in the Spirit–the Life of Love. .
Sometimes we all ready to blame the woman for leaving the man. The big question is, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO LEAVE HIM ? Some of all you men have too much dirty ways!! You all stretch the joke just too far. For example, Some men expect to be loving both man and woman at the same time. From creation is Adam and Eve not Adam and Stevenson! (Just an example, does not refer to Mr.Fed up)
Mr. Fed UP you need to take time to study the root of the reason for the girlfriend leaving you. She wouldn’t have just picked up and move on like that. so, Mr. Fed Up take time out to evaluate yourself to understand, why she left you?
Just today this guy I have been seeing decided to end our four months old relationship. We were so happy together. But I found out something about him and did not handled it very well. I exploded on him in expressing how I feel. I expected forgiveness as I normally would do instead he said that has no love or feelings for anyone because of that. I took it real hard, cried about it, spoke with friends and certainly prayed about it.
I believe that one, what goes around comes around. When we hurt others especially people who love and care about us, we later get the same thing happen to us.
So my advice, there’s always someone better so trust God. Pray alot and just wait and see, she will get the same treatment she gave you from her next boyfriend.
@truth revealed:hmmm.. sounds like a situation i kno. and i told the person something ver similar. u said it well.
It happens to the best of us my dear. Just keep in mind my dear that love is seasonal, sometimes youhave it, sometimes you don`t. Just be thankful for the good times you had and thank God for enabling you to truly love someone, some people go through life not knowing what love is. Also pray to God to send the one that is meant for you and pray that you are able to recoginize that person when they present themselves. Good luck to you.
LOVE SUCKS , isn’t it? Pray and eventually things will get better. Think about it, whilst you’re in a corner wasting away and having suicidal thoughts she is somewhere enjoying herself. There is a saying which goes like this ‘YOU CAN TAKE A HORSE TO THE WATER BUT YOU CAN’T MAKE IT DRINK’. If she was in love with you, she would have stayed. Obviously she is not in love with you. You may have had given her the world but if the feeling of love is not there on her part, no matter what she is not going to give it. And remember , pray for God to give you the strength to endure because he knows what’s best for us
Garson forget about mamzel and move on with your life eh boy..So you didn’t have a stepney then…chuppes!!!!!
BWOY MI A SEY GYAL COME A DIME A DOZEN… SO JUS LOOK PON YA POKET AND U FI CHECK HOW MUCH GYAL U AV IN DERE… OH MEK DIS B YA LAS GWO PWEL!!!
“Mr. Fed up” I spoke to you earlier this week. I told u that what u have done to “Ms. I need you” was too much for her to carry on with u. She gave u too many opportunities to prove urself right by her. Still, u took no heed. On several occasions I had to help talk with both of u thru ur problem. U took advantage of her love for u. Let’s turn the table around for a minute. If u were her, give me one good reason why she would come back to u? What one thing have u done to her to prove that u deserve another chance after having been given so many? She is saturated now with ur lies, blind eye, lack of ambition, ur drinking habit, possesive nature and ur reluctance to hold firm on the straight road. If you recall I told u to “let go and let live!”. Focus on becoming a better person and in ur quest to do so, everything else will fall in place.
O boy a another who needs a hobby..sweetheart you say you dont want her in your life but need her in your life well you a wrong because the only thing you need is to eat and pay taxes..So here is my advice pray for strength get out of your funk and come see me for some fun. There a better women out there go find one and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE YOU SOUNDING LIKE A WHIMP
Dear Fed up,
U need the friend name Jesus. He is a rock U can lean on, he should be your shelter from every storm. Let the rain fall and the wind blow, there is always a place to go, when U have that friend name Jesus. He sticks closer than a brother and is very faithfull to those who call on his name. Take away the Fed from your title and “Get up”.
PS Who ever she is, is not worth that part of U.
HAVING A GP IS ONE OF THE HADESS DOWN FALL ANYONE CAN GET BUT MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME AND TELL YOURSELF AS THE DAYS GOES BY YOUR BURDEN WILL GET LIGHTER. I CAN RELATE TO YOU CUZ I HAVE BEEN THERE UNTIL I AS A WOMAN WENT INTO A DEPRESSION THANK GOD THAT HE CARRIED ME THRU THIS AND TODAY I AM PROUD OF MYSELF AND HAVE A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO SOME ONE LIKE YOU.PLEASE TAKE A TRIP VISIT THE OUTSIDE WORLD,LADIES LOVE D U.S DOLLARS AND NICE THINGS LET HER SEE WHAT SHE LOOSE AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.FEELING SORRY FOR YOUSELF WILL JUST GIVE HER MORE STRENGTH OVER YOU.AND GO TO CHURH AND PRAY ASKING GOD FOR STRENGTH TO GO THRU THIS TRY NOT GETTING IN CONTACT WITH HER AT NO GIVEN TIME AND BE STRONG THERE IS ALOT OF FISHES IN THE SEA.
It might just be God making way for better things to come. Pray my dear, PRAY. I know what I am talking about.
Awwwww – I pray that you will allow God to heal you, he promised to give peace that surpasses all understanding. You’re not the first nor will you be the last – hold the faith – there are lots of single women out there who would worship the ground on which you walk – you’ll be surprised.
We have to learn to live life to the fullest, there willl be positive and negative things happening to us in our every day lives. I know this is a hard thing to deal with and everyone will say go on with your life, but crying is very good when you have problems, don’t stifle, let it out one day you will overcome, someone else may come your way and when she does don’t say she won’t live you, take one day at a time and pray. I have been there done that and now I’ve moved on. I’m still single because I don’t really want a relationship right now, maybe you too can take some time to stay single and reflect on how you handled your past relationship and whenever you fall in love again you will deal with the situation differently. Take my advice, (Love Life)
I can feel your pain. It is one of the hardest things I think one can go through. The operative works being “go through” for this too shall pass. Get up, brush yourself off, stay active for isolating yourself will only serve to deepen your depression. Pray, pray, pray for in times like these only God can help you heal. Helpful books: The Language of Letting Go, When Loving You is Wrong and I Want to Be Right and Trust, Delight, Commit, Rest those are books that helped me. Be thankful that it happened now and not when you had invested so much more in her.
You have taken the fist step by writing to Bella. You can do it, I have all the faith in you. There are so many wonderful women out there and one is waiting just for you.
Be encouraged.
poor u doo doo you will find somebody else. Be a man grow up pull your pants up and move on you will get somebody else that truly loves you. Let her go on her way. One day you will wonder if tis that you almost give up on life for
You get a GPeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
You get BUrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!
Look on d bright side, you will lose weight and d big belly will go down. Your waist will move from 44 inches to 32 inches in less than no time – without exercise!!!
GP is d best remedy for overweight men.
Go and learn some Spanish and dance lessons for d summer and do what u have to do to get over d worries and problems.
Man ,go and learn some social chemistry and make some bombs in d process – d nice ones dere.
My Anti already have a man. She doh need another one ….. lol lol
Man get over it and move on, a few months down the road you’ll not even remember her name. In life you will get plenty gwo pwell so lean to cope and deal with this one cause there’ll be lots more to come. For real.