The shameful bed-wetting mom

Dear BellaI am 23-years old and ashamed!  I have this problem and its I’m a mother and still wetting the bed.

I have been to a doctor for medical advice. He gave me medication but it did not work.

I have a man in my life and I have been able to hide it from him for two years although it is really hard but I managed to. Now he wants to get engaged and I cannot, not until I have solved my problem.

I was hoping you find something out about this. I have been thinking a lot, and wondered if its possible that it can be a psychological problem?

My aunt’s brother raped me when I was six and ever since I have been wetting the bed.

Is it possible that this could be the thing that is bothering me without knowing it?

Kind regards

The shameful mother

 

Dear Shameful mother,

Your condition could be a medical one and nothing is wrong in seeking advice from another doctor or trying another medication.

It could as well be psychological and you may need to speak to someone who has the skills in that area.

But your problem seems to be centered around your fiancé and I am suggesting that you tell him. It’s going to be difficult but if that man is willing to marry you then he has to love you. If you think telling him in person will make you feel embarrassed then put it in a letter, tell him on the phone. Eventually you two would have to sit and discuss it. Be brave and have faith that your relationship is solid enough to overcome this issue.

Have you ever told anyone about your rape experience? It is important that you tell someone about this. I am no expert in that field but somehow there seems to be a correlation between your bed wetting and that terrible experience. I urge you to see a professional counselor on this because there is a psychological aspect to this whole matter. It is very important that you do.

Bella

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53 Comments

  1. regina
    December 26, 2011

    hi am now 25years n still wetting my bed am stresed to death n even thinking of suicide so i totally understand.

  2. Diva
    July 16, 2011

    I think she should have a serious talk to her boyfriend about this matter.. cause if this goes on it will just be bothering her and lies will jus sum up more, dont keep this from yout boyfriend if u believe u can trust him… Best advise talk to him.. if he loves u , he will understand and you all relationship will go on to a next step :) # Best of luck !

  3. July 14, 2011

    well it could most likely be a bladder control problem. or a psychological effect o ur past … see a different doctor,, talk to your partner and try to at least speak to a friend or psychologist or at least someone yo trust.. even your doctor… and you will get your problem get solved soon :) ..best of luck… although it nothing to be ashamed of .. your a human being , we all have flaws and be a little more open to your partner :) .. if he really wants to marry you then he will understand :)

  4. Charmer
    July 10, 2011

    Talk to your partner about it, i’m sure he will understand. He may just start waking you up at a certain time so you could go to the washroom. The stress of keeping it to your self alone is cause enough for it to continue. It is psychological, so being stress-free will help. TALK TO HIM.

  5. SOURSOP
    July 8, 2011

    hi,have yiu ever tried eating the heart of a sweetsop? you should! it’s very helpful. i had that same problem and my mother’s best friend made her give it to me everyday and it stopped…but in the mean time you should also seek further medical assistant and should sit and discuss with your fiancee’ and also don’t drink water before bed and you should always pi before goin to bed and waking up whenever you feel like you need to go….hope this helps

  6. timelyword
    July 8, 2011

    Hi,
    Here is some useful advice. Try to go visit a urologist in Barbados. Such a person is more able to deal with your bladder problem. Also, consider drinking pure cranberry juice.

  7. cool b
    July 8, 2011

    I am sorry for your inconvience. Nocturnal enuresis- is the unintentional passage of urine. Nocturnal Ployuria – is the excessive amounts of urine at night. There are many factors associated with this problem. ADH – antiduretic hormone if produces to much can cause urination at night. ADH is related to Diabetes type II. Factors which can cause these problem could be Pelvic prolapse in women, Urinary tract Infectin, Calculi – Urinary tract stones and obstructive sleep apnea.
    Deep sleepers may have problem in wakeing up so ask someone to help determine this.
    Check the amount of urine voided
    Stop drinking alot of urine which is sweet, cafinated or artfically sweetned in the afternoon and evening;
    Check the odor of urine, it can determine if you have Diabetes or kidney stones, sweet smell means sugar;
    Check the volume of urine;
    Go see a urologist and take test for urinalysis and urine culture to determine your condition;
    A uroflowetry measures your urine.

    • Tervs i T&T
      July 9, 2011

      Cool b first things first.Sound as an MD I recognize you have some knowledge. Maybe you should say so or change your name to Cool Doc. Are you Dr.FETE the kid from Wesley?
      But even if you are not Dr.Fet with 4 degrees that was good. if you are good job Fete M.D you foret to put in a litle electicity in it.

  8. She
    July 8, 2011

    This person may have weak bladder!

  9. Ok there
    July 8, 2011

    woye….. how a man sleeping with you on a pee pee bed?

    • Truth,Justice,Peace
      July 8, 2011

      @OK there

      Some of you are so negative and always think of the worst and worst things to state; never have anything good to state and intelligent advice to offer. What type of mind do you have? It is so sad. Your comment should have been prohibited. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
      I am certain that this Website is not to be used for such unbecoming statements.

    • Straight Wood
      July 11, 2011

      @ ok there that is true how can you sleep on a bed with a pisanit….

      • thickness
        August 4, 2011

        lol ,,stop it all u have me cracking ,, all u not easu nuh

      • MALPARDEE
        September 17, 2011

        this is not funny. u should not say that oh my gosh u all are so insensitive. It is really bad when u have to be on a bed with a man and is pee pee u peeing on u. boy i don’t know how i would handle that. please do not laugh at the lady.

  10. Truth,Justice,Peace
    July 8, 2011

    First of all, at age six were you still wetting your bed?
    It is not impossible for adults to experience bed-wetting at some time or the other.
    As Bella stated it could be psychological. I doubt though that medication will help.
    Please do not get into the habit of taking medication and become dependent on it. It could be unhealthy for you.
    There are times doctors could prescribe medication which may not help.
    Due to the rape experience, it may be that you are scared of getting up from bed.
    As a few who commented stated, try not to drink fluids or eating prior to going to bed.
    As always as the thought crossed my mind, pray to God. Tell Him of your problem(s) and ask Him to assist you. In time, you will get over this problem.
    Of course, you may need to see a specialist in that field. Be careful about taking medication.
    I wish the best for you. May you get over this problem.

  11. true dominican
    July 7, 2011

    sweetheart am in America am a married woman off 54 yrs and is 3yrs aback i stop wetting my bed, my oldest daughter had that same problem .i took her to a doctor that’s in America, they told her she have a small balder .give her some pill but did not work, my sis in law just go on the computer and do a research and all we did was avoid drinking liquid before bed time especially soda and it works that’s my advice no liquid from 6;pm try that.

    • Truth,Justice,Peace
      July 8, 2011

      I thought of the same thing. She should not drink liquid or eat prior to going to bed.
      For anyone we are advised to eat early and to drink at least approximately one hour prior to going to bed.

  12. ........
    July 7, 2011

    Girl i feel your pain!
    I remember i used to wet my bed every single night!(boy look old sad memories).

    Sometimes i used to literally be afraid to go to sleep!i tried drinking less water,not drinking after 6 0’clock,you name it!none of that worked!

    I was in fifth form,went to college,and was still wetting my bed!I just couldn’t comprhend why,make it worst my younger sister who was about 7 at the time never ever wet her bed!not EVER!

    Sometimes when i wet my bed,i used to turn the mattress over for my step father not to know.the man used to make noise with me and say
    (LAZY YOU LAZY AND NASTY!A BIG GIRL LIKE YOU LYING DOWN AND PISSING THE BED?)I used to feel so bad,my mom never used to tell him don’t treat me like that.

    when i got my boyfriend,i was still wetting my bed and i was scared that he would find out.since i moved out of my step fathers house,i have stop wetting my bed.

    I BECAME INTERESTED IN WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME AND DID SOME RESEARCH,IT WAS A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM and my step father was there saying is lazy i lazy……so sad

    • Truth,Justice,Peace
      July 8, 2011

      As a young child, I recall my mother would wake us up her children at a certain time, those who were quite small to go to the bathroom. In time, as we grew older we got into the habit of not wetting our beds and going to the bathroom.
      Imagine being awakened from sleep to do this. My dear mother also had a chore. She instilled this discipline and others in us.
      Of course not every child will get over bed-wetting but most do.
      This young lady should try not drinking and eating at a certain time of the evening. Probably, in time, she will get over it. I hope she does.

    • Reader
      July 11, 2011

      I can relate! My mother would beat every morning and say is wicked and I wicked! I like … who wants to wake up in their own pee? Seriously!
      Anyway, this goes to show shameful mother that many have had the same problem and she is not alone! From time to time, I still have an accident here and there, but my hubby and I are able to laugh it off.

  13. DA
    July 7, 2011

    girl doh feel no way there is one little pil that can get u better i wish i know who you were i would have help u but any way the pil name is humphry 30 it help very much

  14. Alas
    July 7, 2011

    That’s either beause she has a medical roblem, diabetes, due to stress or you are just plain lazy..

    • ........
      July 7, 2011

      dumb ass! Just like my step father!

      • Alas
        July 10, 2011

        how is that?

      • Alas
        July 10, 2011

        look it up for yourself… and now tell me who is the dumbass?? 8)

  15. mcbeth
    July 7, 2011

    no comments

    • hmmm
      July 7, 2011

      my youth, writing no comment is in fact a comment. lol.

    • Truth,Justice,Peace
      July 8, 2011

      @ mcbeth

      You make no sense. Then why comment and waste time and space. :twisted:

    • goshhh
      July 8, 2011

      Mac beth shut up…..no comments but u commenting…stupidddddddddddd..where did u go to school??????????????????if u went at allllll??????
      pple like u gotta be in certain situations and den ull be positive….

      • Truth,Justice,Peace
        July 8, 2011

        @goshhh

        You make me laugh out loud. :lol: I hate to call this person stupid and senseless but he/she has depicted just that.

  16. hira
    July 7, 2011

    sorry about your condition..The man who says he is goin to marry any girl, should love her unconditionally and there is not anything u should be scared to tell the person u are goin to spend the rest of your life with.. i believe this man loves u enough and will be willing to help u sole your problem..i can imagine how embarrasing it is but u have to find a way to tell him.don’t get married and he doesnt know about ur condition..
    As for the raping i am very sorry to hear about that. At age 6, such a tender age..it sickens me when i hear these kinds of things.. Sweetheart just deliver everything into the Lord’s hands and u will be just fine, better than u imagine
    I wish u all the best!!

  17. OPTIMIST
    July 7, 2011

    well you hvae nothing to be embarrasses about..i can understand how u might feel cuz this has never happened to me..
    i knew of friends who were in similar situation and most were diagnosed with bladder problems, however since you mentioned that you were raped i think it more related to that issue. maybe u get nightmares or flashback during the night then simply wet urself becuase of fear..even in dreams pple greatest weakness is fear..as muslim always indicated get help for ur rape problem first then move on to ur bet wetting…cuz the first problem might most definitely be the cuz of ur bed wetting..hope this resolves soon for you..as for you bf, tell him when u feel most comfortable…blessings

  18. Anonymous
    July 7, 2011

    Look at your diet. Do not eat or drink past 7 pm. And use the bathroom just before you go to bed.

    • ........
      July 7, 2011

      pure shit! I use to follow these steps and still wet my bet.
      My step father always used to tell me is lazy i lazy! It was indeed a medical problem!

    • Tervs i T&T
      July 9, 2011

      Go Bush doctor

  19. Anonymous
    July 7, 2011

    i really do hope you able to read this. it is truly a psychological issue. not an issue but a fact of life. your body is simply not trained to wake up when it needs to go. here’s my recommendation. i had the same exact problem and this is how i solved it. get a bed wetting alarm it trains your body repeatedly and it takes 21 days to form a habit, so within a month your body will be habitually able to wake up when you are ready to go.

  20. Cay
    July 7, 2011

    U see, no one compliments Bella when she gives good advice. Good Advice Bella. I like that

    • Truth,Justice,Peace
      July 8, 2011

      @ Cay

      You are wrong. Whenever Bella gives good advice I do compliment her. I had not yet accessed this article. Furthermore, if they are not critical it means that they compliment her and agree with her. Note that they were not critical of her comments.

    • LOL
      July 8, 2011

      It’s her job to deliver good advice, that’s why persons had issues when she basically made a judgement instead of actually giving useful advise.

  21. fatty batty
    July 7, 2011

    sad to hear about ur situation GIRL u need to help this lady find a way to contract her a number would help her if you wish to give it to dominica new online i see that u had the same problem and it went away so fast u could give a helping hand.seek some professional advice,good luck to u.

  22. Sadden
    July 7, 2011

    Sweetie u must be so embarrassed, I feel for you it’s not your fault. Don’t let that depress you be stong seek all the necessary help.
    Always pray my dear

  23. Twain
    July 7, 2011

    Please don’t be ashamed of that – first let your boyfriend/fiance know and if he really loves you he should help you go through it. Then yes you should go to a doctor or a physiatrist.

    It is a psychological problem.

  24. True u
    July 7, 2011

    That’s terrible most people who were raped at an early age suffer from depression, physical and emotional trauma. Your bed wetting be as a result of this. Seeking advice from psychiatrist . Am sorry about your situation and telling your fiancé is a great move he loves you and he will help you get through this.

  25. Muslim_Always
    July 7, 2011

    @ Shameful mother:

    I really empathize with you regarding your ordeal. It seems that many women at a tender age have been raped and abused but are afraid to report it in Dominica. I want to say to you there is nothing you should feel shame about because you did not willfully rape yourself. Someone forced you against your will. It seems from reading your issue it is more of a psychological issue. Perhaps if you receive some counselling the bed wetting problem would be corrected. It seems the rape is the core of the problem, treat it first then proceed to a medical doctor if it continues.

    Regarding your fiance, you may share that with him when you are ready. Do not pressure yourself into telling him. Ensure that there is love, trust and understanding. It is his right to know about this ordeal since this is an issue that affects your relationship with him. I pray that it works out and you both get married as this is what the Most High commands, marriage.

  26. tea
    July 7, 2011

    I felt so sad by just reading your story. I could only imagine what it was like for you..being raped by someone you trust. But what i can tell you, please speak to your partner about your present and past problem, you cant hide something of that nature away from him and only through speak out one can be heard…the same why you took your precious time writing to BELLA … FORWARD that same letter to him. Please seek some physiological and medical help ALSO

  27. MercyMe
    July 7, 2011

    Sister girl, first of all there is nothing shameful about your condition. It is more common than you might imagine. You need to consult with a urologist who will be able to diagnose any possible physiological cause. If he or she is unable to pin-point the root cause than a referral to a mental care provider or counselor might be in order.

    Before you schedule any medical appointment, write down some simple things regarding your condition such as the frequency of occurrence, the amount and times of fluid intake prior to bed-time, and your sleep pattern including vivid dreams and nightmares. It is quite possible that your body and mind have gotten used to the relief sensation of evacuating your bladder during sleep. You may have to retrain and strengthen your bladder by setting an alarm to wake you up to pee during the night. I will pray for a quick resolution for your situation…..God Bless.

  28. AhMa!!!
    July 7, 2011

    I know quite a few women like that. had a girlfriend who used to wet her bed. It’s very embarassing indeed. However it is a medical condition which has treatment. I very much sympathize with this individual, aprticularly for the rape incident. Hope the bastard who did this to you is rotting in jail. Anyway please do seek medical and phycological advise.

  29. Pnuts
    July 7, 2011

    Rape experience is no experience for a 6 yr old.

  30. Pnuts
    July 7, 2011

    U were raped @ 6, by your aunt’s boyfriend. If U had already stopped wetting the bed by 6 and started back after the rape then yes most likely the rape is your stressor.
    It is sad that is the pple that suppose to protect U that expose U to hurt. I am sorry to hear U were raped at 6; that is sad. Good luck.

  31. child of today
    July 7, 2011

    please see a doctor, get another advice

  32. Girl
    July 7, 2011

    i was raped also and was in same situation ike you, talk your gynochologist

  33. Girl
    July 7, 2011

    girl trust me i am 23 and a mother also it stopped happening to me last year, I went to the doctor he ran some tests and gave me some anti-biotics and somother drug and trust me after the seven days this has been no more thanks to the doctor

    • ---
      July 8, 2011

      Please provide your doctor’s info that she can seek a consult with him/her

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