Stay Well and Sparkle – Firing Blank Shots

Vasectomy no sperm“Women nowadays only want to make one or two children for you!” lamented a local man.

“Wait a while…!” I said to myself as the words finally registered. This statement was so pregnant with meaning: from the changing demographics to unchanging taboos. Of the family planning options available here, vasectomy is the only one not even on the radar. With your permission, let me slip it on the agenda.

First of all, that whole thing about “making a child for a man,” I mean, I don’t get it. In fact, I never did. As a child, going to market with Mama was quite the experience. Women paused often to sop their brows in the blazing heat and ‘ail each other in that vintage loud and lilting manner. Along the way, Mama schooled us in the ways of life, mainly genealogy:

“You remember uncle so and so?”

“Ummm…”

“You know him, man. The one who lives Up the Morne in Senjo. He driving that green Bedford truck fas’ fas’ fas.”

“Okay, okay…” I agreed cluelessly. I knew she had to get the story out so why prolong it.

“Of course, nuh. He loving so and so, but Clemencia make a child for him. Well, it’s she I just talk to.”

“But you just talk to a lot of people, Ma’?”

“The one that just hug you up and kiss and ask how you getting big so. But why you have to turn your head and put your face like that when people kissing you nuh?! She is the one who used to plait your hair when you were small, you know. Anyway, she’s your uncle cousin sister’s child – so you see, we’re related!”

I would nod politely, but of course, by that time, I had totally lost track. My mind was more focused on seeing if I could handle a slice Boyboy’s burning boudeh. That was sure to put some hair on boy’s chest! If Mama still had some coins left she would buy me a cool jelly coconut to wash that down – one with soft nana inside!

Churches have prospered on the island, yet they have not made much of a dent in our traditional family structure. In the midst of that, I once came across a young lady with six sisters. Remarkably, they were all married and had their children the prescribed way. That reminded me of an old cowboy movie, ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.’ All the rest had tubal ligations (T.L.) so dutifully; she knew it was her turn next. But hold it right there! Could she be the one to break the mold? Stay tuned!

 

Dr. Sam Christian
Dr. Sam Christian

In Ohio, I practiced at Mercy Hospital, which was established by nuns. Since they do not subscribe to birth control, I would go to a neighbouring town to do vasectomies. When I found out that the hospital fees cost more than the procedure itself, I began doing them in my office. It worked quite well simply using Valium pills for sedation and local anesthetic for office vasectomy as described so well in this piece on WedMD.

Historically, invading nations would eliminate the men and take the women as booty. Just ask the Arawaks or ISIS. If the victors were merciful, they would keep the men around, but cut off their baby-making orbs. Lacking in testosterone, eunuchs become docile and obedient. In the Holy Land/Middle East, (from whence cometh our faith), eunuchs are used to guard the Sultan’s harems where he keeps his prettiest and sexiest concubines. To loyally do so without even sneaking a look tells you these creatures have a problem indeed. Therefore, the castration complex is a phobia deeply woven in the global male psyche. Not surprisingly, mere mention of vasectomy in many cultures elicits a stern warning of “Don’t mess with my nuts!”

Interestingly enough, the great leap forward of certain countries was preceded by aggressive national campaigns to control their population. China instituted a rigid ‘One Child Policy’ and India pioneered mass vasectomy clinics. Meanwhile, in African, West Indian and Central/South American countries, vasectomy is still a bad word. Not that we have a population problem in Dominica as we routinely export our talent. In fact, the influx of Haitian, Spanish and Chinese enclaves have helped to significantly blunt Dominica’s negative population growth.

At the end of the day, the argument simply is this. Women are burdened with the brunt of childbearing and childraising. Is it too much to ask men to make a small sacrifice when the couple decides to have no more children? Having too many children is an expensive proposition for any family. At least that ‘s what the nursery rhyme suggested, ‘There was an old woman who lived in a shoe’

Vasectomy liberates men from the risk of more unwanted children. The pleasure of ejaculation, the semen amount, the timing, the testosterone and manliness, everything else remain exactly the same – except that now he’s firing blank shots! And unlike castration, you get to keep your ‘orbs’ and one is ready to go again faster because the actual sperm stayed put. Way back, Sarah and Abraham demonstrated that people take very seriously their ability to produce children. But there comes a time when one has to hang up his cleats. Waiting to exhale, hoping for her period to come, gets old after a while. There is a question of a tiny increase prostate cancer risk, but this has never been confirmed and we need to be more religious about checking our PSA and DRE’s anyway.

Yes, vasectomy is cheaper, safer and faster. I would invite the wives/partners to hold hands while I did the procedure. It was a remarkable reversal of roles from the Lamaze technique where the husband/partner was the one exhorting the birthing mother to “Breathe, breathe, breathe!” or “Push, push, push!” Now she is the one caressing his brow, telling him to be strong. How cute! What wonderful family bonding!

It is never easy to change social taboos. However, it is clear that we have much work to do in bringing our genealogy more in line with developed and developing countries. Dominican women need to demand more than just ‘making a child’ for a man they care for. Dominican men need to put the wild-oats-calypso-mentality in its right place and practice commitment to their shared responsibilities with their baby’s mother. T.L’s are great. But when enough is enough; also think vasectomy. Each child deserves quality parental time and resources to nurture and sparkle.

Dr. Sam Christian is a general surgeon who runs the Urgent Care on Bath Road near the Stadium entrance. He can be reach at 440-9133 or login onto the Urgent Care website 

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18 Comments

  1. Malpardee
    October 12, 2015

    If u make a child, why would you consider that child a burden? What is the reason for making a child? Is it for your own comfort, or the comfort of a man? Why do people say, the woman has all the burden and the man has none. In reality, think of it? What is a woman’s purpose of having a child?

  2. cork street
    October 12, 2015

    well now you telling me?!!! I should have gotten a vasectomy. I just plug my hidden flex dat working for me wi, now my liKKKle son Mami vex vex vex. I hope a cobah doe bust by de doctor where she working…. if dat happen I just taking one a dem Jet skis I have dere and pashay eh. But to hell wif it eh, cause what goes around comes around.

  3. Want more information
    October 12, 2015

    Will I be walking cambway afterward? Will it feel like I’ve been hit in the groin? How long before I can get back into action? What if I cant get up afterward?

    What if my lady doh want to take any chances? How much does it cost? I doh want to be the first – anyone I can talk with to find out how it went?

  4. fire man
    October 12, 2015

    ask ISIS lol, you should write more stuff on other topics man!

  5. realistic
    October 12, 2015

    I must say this is the best article you have written so far. Dominican men need to finally understand that the responsibility of being in a relationship and having a family does not only fall on a woman’s head. If you are a man and you already have above 6 children and are of a certain age, why not have a vasectomy? I am a health professional and I ask this question every time, and the answer is not usually born out of any logic but of ignorance, and also out of lack of consideration for women. This problem is so much deeper than it is! The value for the family structure is lacking in our country, where men are willing to just get a woman pregnant..never even considering if she is someone they want to stay with or not, or if having a kid with her fits into their long term goals, knowing that if they leave her the most they will receive from society is a frown. Often the woman doesnt know that is how he feels. In the case of the married men and those in committed relationships…

    • realistic continued...
      October 12, 2015

      thse in cmmttd rltnships sometimes admit that they do not wnt more kids, but are not willin to take any responsibilty to prevent that. The problem is not only with vasectomy but with condom wearing and even with the withdrawal method. A man will KNOW he doesnt want kids with a particular woman, say, a “golddigger”, but will STILL leave the contraception only up to her! And society will only blame her, but where is your value for yourself in deciding who have progeny with? There are men whose wives have been deathly ill during pregnancy, who may have illnesses making them high risk for surgery, who get sick on every pill they’ve tried, who are allergic to latex, who have irregular periods so they cant depend on withdrawal method but they STILL insist on leaving the contraception up to the woman. Men need to decide if they want to continue to have their decisions made for them. But this also speaks to another ill where deadbeaterary in our island is not frown upon enough..so…

      • realistic continued...
        October 12, 2015

        so that a man will continue to have children even when he KNOWs he cannot afford it. A man simple cannot be an excellent father to several children in several households. Some will suffer. We need to get to a point where this is an exception rather than the norm. It’s time that our men lose the teenage angst of wondering if there sperm works simply because they havent “plugged” somebody yet and move towards deliberate family planning. Part of family planning is to know when you have enough kids that you can give a good life to, in the presence of a sex life that is not yet done. Let it be enjoyable from here on out..no worries! As I said great article doctor!

  6. Sandw
    October 12, 2015

    Excellent article, but I think a lot more information will be needed before you change the minds of local men!
    I am from England, and vasectomies are very, very common there. One afternoon of discomfort, and some Advil for 2 days, and that’s it! No side effects, and nothing changes visibly.
    I have been married twice, and both my husbands had vasectomies. It does not affect sexual performance at all. In fact, because you don’t worry about making an unwanted child, then it is a great plus.
    Of course, it cannot protect against sexual diseases, so if you have different partners, then you would still need a condom. But for those who do not want to raise or pay for any more children, there should be nothing stopping you.

  7. calibishie warrior
    October 12, 2015

    Valium pills and a local while you are down there making lasagne out of my man-stick???.. I think not !! How do you get the local in there in the first place (eyes watering) .. No amount of hand holding will get me through that … no .. I think you will find it is the potential pain involved which is proving to be the big disincentive. If women want to pass something the size of a melon through their lady parts , that is a matter for them … but me and pain don’t agree

  8. tek
    October 12, 2015

    is there any side effects dr?

  9. I KNOW
    October 12, 2015

    this article makes me mad!!!!!!!!!how can any right thinking man even think about doing this nonsense, it have too much condoms about no wife, no woman not making me do nothing next thing my wife or woman leave me down the line and i get a nice woman and cant breed her. Boi best you delete that article from assistance :)

  10. nonamegal
    October 12, 2015

    Great and well written piece. I think at some point, men have to take more responsibility for childbearing and child rearing.

  11. JL
    October 12, 2015

    Really an enlightening article! More dialogue is needed on this “taboo” topic. Dr Sam, I think you should take this article to the print media and on one of the radio programs so we could be further educated. :)

  12. Mamzel X
    October 12, 2015

    Nice piece Doc.

    Two dirty words as far as our Dominican men are concerned: condoms and vasectomy. Any serious discussion between a man and a woman having a monogamous(?) relationship and those two words come up, the woman is sure to get a stupes and a cut-eyes.

  13. Cuban Grad
    October 12, 2015

    I don’t know why people give Dr. Christian such a hard time. As far as I can see, the man making sense.

    Give the sisters a break. Men need to do more in the family way. As for vasectomy…ouch! I agree mentally, but I can see why men are reluctant. But it makes sense, it makes, it makes sense…

  14. Nice Piece
    October 12, 2015

    I want my husband to do one…mentioned in it in passing some years ago since I feel that it might be best for a situation. I have a child to take care of; I have medical complications including diabetes which means that my options for family planning are slim….so I really think a vasectomy will be best.

    But you know men…and their fear of not ‘functioning’!!

    Hit the media (television and radio) and educate us more on this. I would like to hear about costing too.

  15. ImAnIdiot
    October 12, 2015

    I read the first sentence and I almost went for a knife to slit my wrist. How many children does that local man want to have? can he feed, and cloth five children? can he pay school fee by 5 every year? can he pick up 5 children from school at 1? then bring them lessons at 2:30 and come back for them at 4:30?

    I think people need to look at the 18 years they will be maintaining that child, instead of making children for style. That is why we have so many children raising themselves.

    1 or 2 children is an adequate amount of children to have in these times people. Children are expensive, the cost of living is going up and salaries “dotay”. Please make wise decisions.

    PS I am a man.

  16. Independent Observer
    October 12, 2015

    Excellent piece. So true….Women are burdened with the brunt of childbearing and childraising … I add whether single or married. Thanks for bringing this issue to the fore.

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