Kerdisha St. Louis

Sometimes I feel like being the Queen of Pettyville. Yes, I said it the supreme ruler of Pettytown. I don’t want to be the bigger person and I don’t want to admit that I am wrong. Unfortunately, I live in the real world where such feelings are not permitted especially when I want to do the most.

Being the bigger person means realizing that you actually aren’t always right, that you sometimes deserve to give an apology as much as you deserve to receive one and that being able to set aside your ego and take the five minutes to apologize to someone is worth much more than years of argument.

Really, that’s all it takes! Through my crazy and complicated journey through life I’ve learnt that if you set aside just a few minutes to swallow your pride and apologize, sincerely and truthfully, you can show yourself just how strong you are and how much you value that person in your life. It’s important to realize ( even if at the time you don’t want to), that first and foremost, that a mended relationship is worth being wrong for a minute and listening carefully and dutifully to the other side of the story.

Arguments happen, and they can be detrimental and hurtful: ending relationships, causing bitterness and defining scars in the history of that relationship. But it’s so vital to understand that if your pride and pettiness causes damage to a relationship because of an argument, you’re letting that argument win.

However, if you choose to grow and learn from that argument, strengthening that relationship, and set aside feelings of temporary pettiness then you’ve overcome that pettiness and turned an argument into something positive.

Never be afraid to apologize first. Yes, it will sting your ego, yes it may cause feelings of embarrassment, yes it may feel like pulling teeth, but there is something so profoundly graceful about doing something you hate for someone you love and care about that at the end of the day when you have resolved the situation the feelings of relief and content-ness will surpass any negative feelings that you may have.

The best way to grow away from pettiness is to regularly ponder times you’ve behaved in a way you weren’t thrilled about in hindsight. If you don’t ‘dissect’ yourself in this way you will never see alternate ways of responding and will never develop mentally.

When you aren’t being petty you have more energy to focus on what is actually important in life. Become a big thinker – don’t dwell on the little stuff. I repeat do NOT dwell on the little stuff.

The situations we find ourselves in are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ as defined by us. It is OUR THOUGHTS that give events in our life meaning. We can choose to change them at anytime to something that serves us better.

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The KSChronicles are the observations and insights of blogger and journalist Kerdisha St.Louis. Each article seeks to invoke a reaction and/or introspection from readers in Dominica and the Diaspora on various thought provoking issues and topics. The column is published every Friday.