Dear Bella,

My daughter is acting manly. Too manly for my liking. My family is a popular family in Dominica and my husband and I always pride ourselves in ensuring that society sees us as well respected.

I can confess that often times I have looked down on other people’s children saying that none of my children can turn out that way. But one of my daughters is probably a lesbian. She only has girls over and honestly, she acts like a man.

She never wanted to wear dresses growing up. We thought it was funny but as she grows older, she is more into girls.

When we are not around a particular girl sleeps over and I found sex toys in her room. Bella my girl is 18 and I cannot live with the fact that she is a lesbian. I would rather die than to live with that. Villagers are talking.

Because obviously they see her places with the girl and I know they realize what’s going on.

I feel so shamed to have a conversation with her about it. Its just wrong. How do I deal with that?

Maybe I should disown her because I refuse to let the reputation of our family be dragged in this lavie Sodom. That would curse my generation for a lifetime.

Scared Mom

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Dear Scared Mom,

Your situation is in no way peculiar. It is something many parents have to deal with.  And although nobody really wants to know their children are gay, accepting the truth is the first way to deal with it.

This is really not about you or your zeal to keep your family name untainted. The first thing I think you should do is brace yourself for the truth. Then you speak to your daughter and ask her the question straight up. Are you gay?

Based on all you have said, maybe she is. And that’s something you have to accept whether you like it or not.

Now it is your choice whether you want to keep her in your home. She is 18 and considered an adult. Accepting who she is doesn’t mean you have to accept a lifestyle in your home that you don’t support.

 

Bella