I am in this really weird situation. One night my boyfriend was sleeping and his Blackberry kept on bleeping indicating incoming messages. He is a hard sleeper and he did not respond but since the phone kept bleeping I thought it was an emergency so I took the phone to check what was going on.
I don’t normally do that. As a matter of fact this was the first time I’ve ever done that.
When I checked the phone there was a message with an attachment. The message said, “Hey (name withheld to protect privacy), here is the thing…. you gonna like it.”
Out of curiosity I opened the attachment and I was shocked to see two photos of a nude guy in embarrassing positions. Although the person look vaguely familiar, I did not recognize him. I almost fainted and when I gathered my senses I went outside and vomited.
Now, I knew my boyfriend for all my life. He has not shown any gay tendencies. He cursed gay people all the time. He thinks homosexuality is the worst sin on earth. So what is going on?
I have not spoken to him about this because I am just petrified and suddenly I am getting turned off. I don’t know what to do. He is the only guy I have ever loved. This is driving me crazy.
Petrified
Dear Petrified,
This is a matter that needs serious attention and you need to have a good talk with your boyfriend. If you are afraid to do it by yourself, get a third party involved. Try a pastor or a counselor or a best friend of the two of you.
You cannot be sitting on this and letting it fester. It is not going to help and it will hurt you more the longer the situation stays as is.
This guy needs to be confronted on whether he is gay or not.
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
Can someone help me understand why i found a hiddin folder on my boy friends phone with naked dude he following on thumblr he said he dont know why he has them but he aint gay
Sorry but men who curse and hate homosexuality are actually closet gays.
Your boyfriend is a cruel jerk for having what you thought was a loving relationship. He needs to come out and admit it before he leads any other women on.
run n run fast come on dat not no joke ting
I believe u need to have a serious and private conversation with your man. You need to ask him some uncomfortable question and demand honesty from him. If he is gay he needs to tell you, because it is unfair to you. Sometimes its those that try sohard to hate something that are the most like the things they hate. Just be careful and rap it up but try to geth some answers ASAP.
Canada Goose Danmark is for this reason most appropriate seeing that warming, back again all the trait typically is Canada Goose Jakker and so expensive, individuals choosing contentment Canada Goose Tilbud in toward agree the garments, most people are extremely happy herd organization, particularly the places around the world Canada Goose locale all environment will definitely be when considering down-hearted. Quebec Goose case should be melodious Canada Goose Jakke that those are the representation within website brand. Canada Goose Outlet If the individual gang each of our signature ,you invest by memory Udsalg Canada Goose buying the garments. http://www.canadagoosesdenmark.net/ a739292e1aa17a461216
What’s there to talk about, its self explanatory. He’s bisexual if lol, nexus your dumbasss still going to let him hit. So quit acting shock the reason why u checked his phone cuz he was in doubt about him the whole time…………..notnice
too many times we like to jump to conclusions without actually stopping and thinking about the situation. was that a joke message someone sent? was it via email…it could have beeen those emails that people forward to loads of people because the oic or message is either funny or they are trying to embarass the person who is in the picture.
as you clearly stated…you have known your boyfriend for all your life…if this is actually the case then there should be more of a connection between you two where communication should be easy like if he was to be talking to a friend…dont speak to him anyone else there…you need to humble yourself and approach him with an open mind, open ears and pure heart…you are already in the wrong for going through his phone in the first place…you couldve just put it on silent instead of opening the message…you chose to venture…best of luck
some of you all women know your man feeds from behind and still go sleeping with him and now you talking,because he puts it inside of you too n u guys loving it so dont complain but this is nasty…
some men hide very well
you don’t normally do that! then this is the first time you doing that! whats the truth then????? u know ur man gay and you finally saw pics so you want a way out..
If it smells like Cod it most likely is…..He may be on the down low play detective still and wear a condom ALL the time in case you have not caught anything Yet but his homophobic talk might just be him trying to stay in the closet….Love him for him but don’t allow him to change you
shoot those creatures… too nasty
You can always tella BattieMan, dem ah always talk tuh peeple from BEHIND!! Dem cah talk face tuh face tuh save dey life….WWAAAAAAAHHHH….LOL
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
You thought it was an emergency so you checked to see his phone? Now miss you know I’m not going to buy that B.S story unless your “man” is a medical doctor, surgeon or something like that. You may have fooled more than half the commentors on DNO but definitely not people who have insight.
Thus, your story may sound very plausible however, I strongly believe you intentionally went in his phone at this given time. You may have respected his privacy, not because you may be that ‘respectable’ individual, but because of his personality with regards to his phone. Thus whilst he was asleep the phone beeped or rang thus you looked at him to ensure he was sleeping, then sneaked into his phone. For you to get pictures from a phone, most likely you had to press either inbox or something like this to gain access into his phone. I challenge you to name the type of phone he has in order to confirm my statement. If we know what type of phone he has we can study the modality and attributes of the phone to understand how we access picture messages.
Now that you are convinced in your mind you have seen pictures which caused you to vomit, the most logical thing to do is to confront your partner about this issue. You need to be knowledgeable and mature about this. If what you have confirmed this was the message you received in his phone, then it leaves one to question his sexuality. Sometimes, it may be a case where the guy was in some heated discussion about homosexuality where ‘fire bun them’ and his partner decided to send a picture of ‘proof’ of some naked guys to confirm the filth a particular person is into.
Whatever it maybe, even if it may look like this man is dabbling in homosexuality, do not draw conclusions, but to speak to him very seriously about this. You have 100% right to be suspicious and to question them based on the circumstanial evidence gained.
Abu Yusuf
Read your post, you should take the job of Bella, you give better advice….I feel sorry for this young lady **that’s all I have to say**
i thought it was Muslim always pulling one of his sarcastic tricks….. i didn’t read all the post….so later when i saw your reference to the animals i knew it wasn’t him….do u believe I’m gonna sit and read that long hallelujah post….you must be crazy… as log as i get the essence of what you are saying
humanist this is for you…forgot to include at first
Thas’s rather disgusting!!!! But DNO please answer me…. Y DNO & BVI NEWSONLINE always ha the same Belle Story? Many persons thinking its D/a…. we’re uncertain wher these activites r taking place…. Please we need to know…
ADMIN: DNO and BVI News is the same company and we have readers all over the world. So naturally people write for advice from all over the Caribbean.
For true nuh?? So all the time i thinking is dominica then letter coming from u mean it could hve been BVI? Nahhh DNO thats not fair
first thing my gurl,best u go get an AIDS test eh cuz datz a serious situation der,trust me..u should really talk to him about it n also talk to a close friend or family cuz datz really hard…
MANY guys who claim to be homophobic, they themselves are often GAY and cannot come to accept that feeling. In that case, they retaliate by being abusive to homosexuals. Dominica has a number of homosexuals and lesbians as well as persons who have these inclinations. This is the society we are living in. As I always say, your mother, father, sister, brother, aunt BEST friend could be gay or be a lesbian right under your noses. STOP the hating!!!
It is the high level of hypocrisy in society that causing that deceit in relationships. If this husband was free to be and to say who he is without fear of resentment, maybe he would never be married. Too many men are living double lives just to please society. Society is not the better for it: get real and stop burying your heads in the sand like the Ostrich!
TOLERANCE!!!!!
Young lady my only advice to you is if you not ready to handle the truth don’t go digging. Your man is gay a ‘ bottom feeder’.
Such negative people. You read something on this Website as Dear Bella’s column and you doubt and deny that it is true. This is why we will continue to call people like you “Doubting Thomas”.
What is wrong with some of you? It is a column where people seek and receive advice. It is not for skepticism and denials.
Be broadminded. You are not innocent children. In this era you should know that all sorts of immoralities are taking place. There is a possibility that this occurred. I would never doubt it or deny it. Yes! It could be that those pictures may have been sent to him in error. Who knows? How often we also receive telephone calls and also emails which were not meant for us. They were sent in error. Nevertheless, she should speak to him about it and watch his reaction. Whether she wishes to speak to a Pastor in his presence or with a friend it is her prerogative. Bella gave the best advice she could. Have respect.
The woman may not want to include these people and it may upset her boyfriend bringing them into their affair and exposing him, if he is gay or have gay tendencies. She must get to the bottom of this and hopefully clear the air. He may have been hiding this part of his lifestyle from her.
If he is gay or bi-sexual my advice to her is to get out of this relationship no matter how much she feels that she is in love with him and how much it hurts her. She must not sit around and think that he will change. He will not change. She will only experience heartache. In time she will get over it.
First things first. Do not give yourself undue anxiety. Speak to him about it.
Life has its burdens and nothing is one hundred per cent good and happy as much as we would like it to be. There are disappointments along the way. Into every life some rain must fall. No one is immune from this. Keep this in mind. Every cloud has a silver lining. After the rain the sun shines. Good luck to you!
I hate people who are anti gay but really are gay… And why did you vomite when you saw a picture of a naked guy are you a lesbo?
smh r u serious
i guess she got disguted wen she saw d pic n pitured her husband f***ing it from behind hahahahahaa
@ Boi who tell u dat?
Someone did!
Do not hate people. Love the sinner but hate the sin.
There are times when we speak up against this abomination, those who specifically are gays and those who support them conclude that we are gay haters and bashers. We are not and should not. We are judging but merely speaking the truth that such a lifestyle not only in the long run leads to unhappiness but straight to Satan’s cauldron of everlasting fire. One of our Christian duties is to strive for the heavenly prize and crown and to wish/want the same for others.
Holy Scriptures: “Speak the truth. Stand up for the truth. Do not deviate from it. God is taking note of all our words and actions as imbedded in our mind and heart for our eternal judgment. Many people seem to overlook that.
We also have to pray not only for ourselves but for those people that they may come to repentance in God’s time, who is The One who saves souls. God’s blessing and graces abound for those who do.
According to the words of a religious song, “Heaven is my passion, pride and joy.”
lol mister lik man batty girl u in problems get a man tht will nt insert poo poo in u…lol
WHEN WE INVADE PEOPLE PRIVACY WE USUALLY END
UP IN MORE THAN WE BARGAIN FOR. MAYBE THEY
SEND THE NAKED PHOTO TO THE WRONG PHONE. DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING YET OPEN UP YOUR EYES.
send to the wrong phone?! i have bridge over there i can sell for you, you know…stupes!!
But Y Them Fagget Fellas Doesn’t Leave Girls Alone Nuh..
i bet if it was a woman that text him you wud be all over her….. Confront the man even if he is or isnt he still gonna say he not…. before you confront keep researchin…. he sleeps hard you say search the fone while he sleepin if you see BBMs texts emails anything from that dude again confront him…. dat yh hear wi #spySearch get results before action
Name and Shame him…….get out of this relationship…Fire pun dem B B
mr a batty man!!!
This story is made up. First of all what grown dominican woman actually pukes after seeing a picture of a naked man? Secondly, this girl has got to be a moron to ask bella of all the people in the world for help/advice on something so simple?
lol she even almost faint too. Weh! when allyou making up stories, atleast try to make them sound a a bit more believable… A grown dominican woman almost faints and vomits after seeing a pic of some naked fella?????
boy you stupid.She didn`t alamost faint because she saw a picture of a naked guy but she almost fainted because of the idea that her boy likes naked men picture and that he might be gay.I myself once saw pics of my ex kissing different women on different occasion and i almost puke.So i know that feeling.I didn`t want to puke because i saw women naked but because my ex botfriend could be so nasty and get himself involve with all these women.
Allu too damn A**..sot zor sot, if all you believe is the naked man that made her puke. Put your thinking caps on – its the emotions behind that..God, all you quick to comment and making allu self look like JACK A**
no need for profanity…DNO come on now…things like these you have to block..freedom of speech doesnt mean u have to use obscene languages..
wow, you homosexuals are so hot headed. take it easy J.A
It’s funny how soon DNO will start to search for those suckers that making up those fake stories! keep doing all you do but always remember falsifying information is a crime!
@ 767
Why do you bother to comment? You have nothing positive to state that others could learn something from.
This is how she felt about the situation. She was so upset that she puked. When people are upset they could puke. I do not see anything wrong with that. This is the manner in which she reacted. You do not know the woman. Why doubt her and make such a derogatory comment? You have much to learn. Learn about people and their mannerisms and how they will react to specifically such information.
Think further. This is a man she loves and has a relationship with. It was shocking for her to see those pictures which someone sent to him. Obviously her boyfriend must have been either talking to or seeing a gay man. It sounds suspicious and that he is not innocent. I would not doubt or deny her feelings.
Do you know Bella? Why make such a statement about her?
Are you aware about Dear Abby and Dear Ann Landers of all? They gave good advice. I have clipped some of their advice which is worth keeping and passing on including about “good manners” and “how to conduct oneself” when socializing, etc. Some people as you need such advice and to practice. What would you call them? Silly moron yourself, to you.
this truth and justice woman seems to be a real nag. The funniest people in the world are people like her who think they’re brilliant when in truth and in fact they are actually morons and a nuisance to all those they come in contact with lol
mayb u de battyman she talkin bout n tryin say its made up
allu ever thought that maybe the man in a group on blackberry? remember when you in them groups anytime somebody post a pic it automatically saving on your phone, chick all you gotta do is run your own investigations, you have the sender # use it, make a call find out all u can. but i find you dumb too cause if is a naked woman pic u find on ur man phone u’d wake him up to kill him y u didn’t vomit on him when u find the man pic on his phone?
Get the number from the sender of the pics, find out as much info as possible then confront your BF if there is reason to. This could be a wrong number, sick coincidence, somebody playing a game, somebody trying to get back at him. It’s about what you know not what you think.
Lyrics:
Man to man is so unjust, children:
Ya don’t know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your best friend,
And your best friend your worse enemy.
Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su ‘pon you.
Only your friend know your secrets,
So only he could reveal it.
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
How can Bella advise the woman to consider getting a friend involved? Shouldn’t the man’s privacy be protected?
This requires a one on one conversation. If they need the assistance of a therapist, they should seek help there. I would never get a friend involved at this early stage. The next thing you know your entire business is on the street.
i hope is a wrong number the tex went to
ask a question first….but this dayz them pretty boyz wit cars,nice pretty chicks,bling bling in the limelight..watch dem ,they sick and gay gay
dem pastor more batty man … yr man gay… more they gay is more they pretend to hate gays. leave mr alone girl
I say confront the man. If it was a naked woman, you would have woken him up and complain, make noise, do whatever it is you women do. Don’t let the fact that it is a man hinder you.
If he is cheating on you, you need to know – irrespective of the sex. You just need to confront the man and get the issues out in the open.
But i say, there’s no mistake about it, if the sender used your man’s name and said “here is the thing, you are going to like it!” There is no room for misinterpretation there – your man requested a pic of the goods and he received it. It may be that he is checking out the man and nothing has happened – but irrespective, your man is living a double life… either he attracted to other men, and hasn’t acted on it, or he has and just need some reminder from his boyfriend.
Either ways, for your mental state – deal with it! And if you don’t want a surprise later on, leave that man, unless you are willing to accept his bi lifestyle
So sad!!
Did anyone see that documentary that Marpin’s Channel 5 had about MSM (men who sex men)
A dominican homsexual man is saying and i quote “95% of all dominican men have homosexual tendancies”
I frighten! I was watching that with my husband and i looked at him and repeated what the man said and looked at him again and He said NOTHING!
hmmmp.
So because a homosexual man said it then it’s true??..SMH.
i know right…foolish people…anything they see on tv currupts thier minds..cant even think logically..
certainly am in that 5 percent.. that is beastility.. not sex..
omg
Trust me this comment had me laughing so much i said i hope my neighbors don’t think that i am crazy
The real 767 comment
lol maybe 95% of the men in the survey had homosexual tenndancies. Them people does say majee yeh. weh!
That message could be sent to the wrong person. Do not say anything as yet do a little more investigation before you start up a problem.
i know a lot of DA man doing this nasty s**t for years,so i am not supprised,some DA man sick,just for money they will do them shit,get rid of he **s.
humanist AKA Muslim always….
please go to the middle east…where people are stoned for committing adultery and for eating BACON….no one ever said adultery is not a sin…what the hell do you want to be done about it… do you want to arrest and kill people who fornicate and commit adultery?….i don’t know why you don’t understand why those who fornicate talk down on those who are homosexuals….it quite understandable…because homosexuality is unnatural it is against nature…most people cant comprehend it…HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO A MAN? we will not live according to second century rules like your friends in the middle east do… those who choose to live their sinful life and and disobey Jesus Christ will answer to God… not man…. so please stop
How unfortunate that DNO takes so long to post my reply that tiny the extraordinarily stupid moron will likely not even see it. I still fail to see how tiny can even begin to think I am connected in the slightest way with Muslim_Always, a poster whose views are vastly different from mine. The absurdity of tiny’s comparison is simply beyond belief.
As for “second century rules”–what the hell? What happened in the second century with Muslims? Oh, that’s right–there were none, since Islam was formed in the seventh century. How sad that you not only mix me up with Muslim_Always but do not even know enough about Islam to (justifiably) criticize it. There is much to attack in Islam, and yet you cannot even get the dates right. Typical ignorant Dominican.
And if you read MY post below, you would see that I clearly state that homosexuality has been observed in other animals. You can type in “gay [insert animals]” into YouTube and find endless videos of such things; you can observe it on a farm if you live on it long enough. Therefore, homosexuality is not “against” nature; it occurs IN nature. Your argument should be that it is not “usual” or that it does not further reproduction; but to claim that it is simply “against” nature is even more moronic ignorance. Besides, if you knew any gay people (or other animals), you would know that they are no different from you or me, except in sexual preference. Clearly, you get your image of homosexuality from wherever the rest of your stupidity comes from.
Maybe the sender sent the pic to the wrong person… it happens
you doesn’t hear the sender identified him by name?
it was a bbm… u don’t even make sense
i’ve got 3 guys name john on my bbm
NO ONE LIKES ANYONE GOING THROUGH HIS/HER PHONE, BUT WE ARE HUMAN AND ARE SOMETIMES TEMPTED TO DO THINGS THAT WE WOULDNT ORDINARILY DO. HOWEVER, SINCE U MADE THE CHOICE TO GO THROUGH HIS PHONE, IT MIGHT JUST BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE FOR YOU. SPEAK TO HIM ABOUT WHAT U DID AND REQUEST THAT HE GIVE U A STRAIGHT AND HONEST ANSWER AS TO WHETHER HE IS GAY OR NOT. NO STRAIGHT MAN ENJOYS SEEING PHOTOS OF NUDE GUYS IN ANY KIND OF COMPROMISING POSITIONS. IM SURE HE WILL DENY BEING GAY, SO ITS UP TO YOU TO MAKE THE DECISION TO STAY THERE AND ALWAYS HAVE A QUESTION MARK IN UR MIND OR MOVE AWAY FROM THAT SITUATION FOR UR OWN HEALTH PURPOSES.
wanted to add this but ….
if he don’t agree to the test…then i guess you either trust his answer or do some investigating on you own … DON’T NAG HIM…let him know that you trust him….but keep looking “secretly” for evidence i for one do not condone spying on someones every move but at the same time you have your health to worry about…and you will be very mad at yourself if you contract a disease
See if you can find the book entitled On The Down Low and READ IT, that’s all I’m saying,if I had ir I would find a way to send it to you,but it belonged to a coleague,very compelling!!!Good luck.
Tiny I agree with you except for the fact that you told her to let him know that she truste him but”secretly spy on him?”maybe you wanted to say “let him THINK that you trust him”I’m just saying.
u right
Oh Honey Chile (In my most effeminate voice), Your boyfriend is on de down-lowwww,
I mean way down by de river cooking a ‘braff’ with de boys….another (unlikely) explanation could be de man is a doctor, and de “vaguely familiar looking” friend was urgently sick and needed a blackberry check-up…everybody know you have to take out all your clothes and pose in “embarassing” positions for a doctor to diagnose you…aye aye.
Well babes, talking to de man is really the only solution, speculation will only make you worry your little head more…
I think the best thing to do, is. have a one and one talk with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. it may just well be a set up.
WIFEY !!!! HE BACKING CHA CHA!!! ALL I CAN SAY POTECT YOUR SELF CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM. A FEW YEARS AGO MY SO CALLED LOVER MARRIED MAN”WELL KNOW DOMINCAN MUSICIAN PLAYS IN OUR FAMOUS BAND(KEY BOARDIST HAS A WELL TO DO JOB IN TOWN. CAME UP TO NY CITY WE MEET,HE CAME HOME ONE DAY WITH VASELINE AND ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS DO “IT” IN MY LITTLE WINDOW, WHICH WAS SHOCKING TO ME I TRIED IT AND GOT A RUNNING FOR DAYS, NOW THERE IS HIS FAVOTITE PLACE TO DO “IT’. I WAS VERY SHOCKED TO HEAR DAT HIS WIFE IS DYING FROM VAGINA CANCER SHE CATCH HPV VIRUS, PLEASE PLEASE PROTECT YOURSELF.
you didn’t have to sell out the man business like that nah.
all that description you give of the man i know exactly who you talking about.
anyway, thats just sad cause alot of those men involved in that. they don’t want to go and do it with men so they just figure out that their wives can handle it!
stupes
i know right …i would have never post it…yet DNO don”t want to post my comment….i cya undertand
I agree EXPOSE THEM to the highest degree,they are the ones spreading disease and killing people
sell out payback is brute,I not crying no more nar,my pressure knock me down. i in pay mode now idamn tired of lying Dominican man ifed up fed up fed up
IS YOU LITTLE NASTY GIVE THE MAN HPV TO GIVE HIS WIFE. SMHHHHHHH
lol wooii bullets okay its maybe wrong to expose the person on the web but lol you gotta admit this is pretty funny i just wish i knew who the person was,but its true this days men like to curse out gays and then in the end they are the one always entering the back door smh
Well that song just like my experience with ADMIN which turned me off really bad. Good that is not me that putting your secerts out there Camem ADMIN..
vagina was made 4 the penis,not penis 4 penis,not penis 4 anus,adam was made 4 eve he was nt made 4 steve,no dicks n butts no maybes,dicks n butts dont make no babies, man to man is so unjust, man to man is so disgust, i dont even like the word bottom never gonna get to the bottom of things, never gonna hit rock bottom…..NOPE!!!
The worst pretenders are the worst offenders.
A PASTOR? Sorry, I’m not going to bring a pastor into this if I was in this situation. What exactly are they going to do anyways? Throw Holy Water on the man and damn him to Hell? I highly doubt that will do anything.
Like people have said, if he acts like he really does like you (and assuming he really does), then his bi, not gay.
Also, why would you check his own PERSONAL email in the first place? Curosity or not, it’s HIS own email, and just because the subject heading looks odd, doesn’t mean you should just go through his stuff. That’s an invasion of privacy and just because you’re his girlfriend does NOT mean you just “have the right” to go through his email.
Now I believe you when you say that was the first time you had ever done that, but still. All you had to do was turn off the phone, not check the phone and his email then open and read the email and see the photo as well as the person in the photo who you think you might no.
But I am still sorry you’re hurt, don’t get me wrong.
Some how I agree with that person! PASTOR?? stueps. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO HOLD THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MAN!
if he is, then love him still for who he is, somethings in life are unchangeable and somethings can work out.
Humanist;
We kinda agreed with the 1st part of your reasoning but the second part sounds a bit careless.
Where death and disease are a result of certain behaviour, there is then a need for self control.
If we have a tendency to take what is not ours, WE MUST SEE THAT ACTION NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED FOR THE GOOD OF ALL.
Disobedience to the rules of nature and the Creator is as ancient as time, but apathy sets in when we refuse to ascertain right from wrong.
The ability to define behaviours eg. bi sexual, homo… doesnt give us the right to wishaway the repercussions.
Wrong has a way of haunting us.Let us work it OUT.
Why do you always refer to “we?” Unless you have multiple personality disorder, speak for yourself, not for others.
“we”… doesnt imply personality disorder.
……..speakinh for those who have like minds,
When we pray, it is always for one another….should never be for self
first of all…does he insist on having anal sex….ever too often…if so i would take that as a sign
secondly i would ask him take a polygraph test to ensure that he isn’t gay…he’s probably not even interested in women…lots of guys who have been married for years are gay…not even bi…gay gay gay…and yet they get married….some get fed up of living a lie….and eventually get divorced…there is not way of knowing if it’s a joke or if he’s gay………….i would GET SOME DAMN MONEY TAKE HIM TO THE MAURY SHOW and let him take the test….he would do it if he want to save the Relationship….just kidding about the Maury show though…….
That is wide spread….the down-low system….stepping out of the closet…drop your bate catch another…man never finish..
move on…
and remember what you don’t know will not hurt you….stop going through peoples phone…they might do the same in return..
I disagree… in this case, it may have hurt her… there are many negatives taht can arise out of not knowing if your partner is creeping out on you whether it be with a man or woman. Does he she practice safe sex? How many other people are you sleeping with when you sleep with an unfaithful person?
I totally disagree with what you don’t know won’t hurt you.
Going on someone’s phone is dead wrong yes BUT sometimes i believe curiousity takes over when there is something to be known or seem. Especially if it’s not a usual thing i.e going on a person’s phone? There is a secret you need to find out and that’s the way you could.
that’s why I believe partners should have access to all information of each other…being intimate justifies that.
It is going to be a big test of your faith to bring him back to “normal”. Yes we can.
Stay in prayer and fast and bring him to the altar of Christ because it is better to win him in pure love than to loose him in abomination.
We wish you all the best in this painful struggle.
That’s WOLF IN SHEEP CLOTHING. he is cursing gays all the time? He THINKS IT’S THE WORST SIN on earth? I say ‘Wolf in sheep clothing’. Mr is involved some way in that. If he is not into it full he is BI. CONFRONT HIM IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!
Yes and Dominica have alot of pretenders. Those that fast to call or curse out people they may think gay 99% of the time they are the same ones that sleeping with these guys. Sad reality but its so true.
oh sweetie, this is teribble, i am not sure with bella about getting a pastor or even a councelor, but i think you need to pick up the courage and confront him about this situation. if you think within yourself you are not able to face him then write him a letter, you can’t have it boiling up on your chest like that. I know that it is something very disturbing and embarassing but you have to talk it out and the best person is to do so with is him.
Wow, Bella is a real innovator. Bring him to a pastor? Don’t let it “fester?” What wondrous tolerance, what 21st-century methodology you have, Bella, what a paragon to progress you are! All of Dominica should be proud to read your messages.
I’m mocking you–in case you missed it.
All right. First off, how do you even know the photos were meant for the boyfriend? Were they from someone in his contacts list or an outside number? Either way, but especially if the latter, they may not have been meant for him–i.e., a wrong number. They may even be a form of spam. Texting sexual or provocative messages to strangers is not unheard of, and is usually just a childish prank done by techies.
Secondly, if the photos were for him, how do you know, furthermore, that it’s not a joke? I have friends who send each other the most absurd images and texts because they are so outrageous as to be funny. I know many people, in fact, who do this. The boyfriend does not seem like this kind of person from the meager description above, admittedly, but this does not rule out this possibility.
I moreover question the validity of this story, since it sounds like a cliche. The guy is receiving photos he does not want his girlfriend to see and he stupidly falls asleep with his phone on? Why to his phone and not somewhere more secure, like a private email account? Sure, he may just be careless, but this story sounds like something you could easily find online or in some silly telenovela.
Thirdly, if they were meant for him, so what? If the guy is bisexual or secretly gay, what of it? Christianity has told us that we should condemn it, but it also says the same about a vast range of things Dominicans happily engage in, like adultery, the eating of shellfish and hoofed mammals, etc. Homosexuality has been around long before the bible–it appears in other animals, as do all other sexual identities–and it will be around long after Christianity has faded away, which may well be when we have destroyed ourselves in nuclear religious wars–wars that are likely soon to come, I fear, with the way fundamentalism is gaining a voice among the impressionable and the oppressed.
No pastor can “help” this man if he is not heterosexual, since he needs no “help.” He is who he is, and that’s that. You can argue about choice all you want. But no one would choose to be gay in so anti-gay a society. That’s retarded, and you are equally retarded to think so. If the man does not want to be what he is, fine–let him live a false life. If he is bisexual, it is not so hard, anyway, since he will still be attracted to women.
I forgot to add: the woman should confront the man about it. Yes, it’s an invasion of privacy to use his phone, but since she already did it, she needs to talk to him. One-on-one–no pastors, no warlocks, no obeah men, nothing supernatural involved. Just talk and figure out what is going on, or both of you may end up in great pain from the stress of keeping your thoughts to yourself.
bring in paastor BJ
that’s how dcan (humans in general)react, when they find someone different from the them.
It is said we have freedom of speech in Dca, then let every one have thier right to an opinion.
Oh my goodness Humanist you are so full of it. Do u sit at you pc waiting and longing for an article with he smallest mention of something related to the bible? Nuclear religious wars? Please. Its unfortunate that ppl dont even see what you’re doing, bashing the bible in broad daylight. You’re very clever because you have a smart way of doing it. Why not just call yourself “Atheist” instead and make it plain and clear? Scared your thumbs up will cease?
So by attacking the bible, there is nothing I can be but an atheist? I could not be an agnostic, a skeptic, a Deist, a pantheist, etc? Or do you not know what any of those terms even mean? Do you, furthermore, know what a “humanist” is? Of course you don’t. I do not deny being anything; I have not committed to being anything, either. You are simply making assumptions–the most foolish of which is that “atheist” is an insult.
As for nuclear wars–you can laugh all you like. If an attack occurs, and it is indeed possible, I can only hope you will still be laughing.
As for thumbs up–what kind of childish buffoon cares about how many thumbs up you receive? All I care about is what people reply.
I must write what I do, since it is safer than speaking in public and because DNO gets a great deal of traffic, thus giving such posts a wide chance of at least being read. Almost no one else on this site posts from a skeptical viewpoint, so I must.
Dominica is full of fundamentalists who think priests are greater than doctors and that theology is greater than science. Why should I NOT post something that differs from those viewpoints?
BRAVO Plato. I”ve noticed this about “Humanist” long time ago. He/She mostly comments whenever there is some mention of Bible, God, Religion, Creation etc.
@? Yes, I do. What’s your point? Do you want to be congratulated on the obvious observation that the majority of my posts are about religion/culture? When have I denied this?
I really fail to understand why some people post….
i believe that humanist himself is gay
People all you doh see Humanist is just trying to be the smartest a** on this site?
Only on DNO he can come and be smart. Nowhere else. Poor person.
Hahahahahahaha
@buwo…so you’re basically saying that everyone on this site is stupid? Congratulations.
I don’t even know what you mean about being “smart” only on DNO. I only post on here because I live in the island and am thus connected to it.
And the same nonsense on this site is what you see in places religion has taken over across the world. So I am no “smarter” on here than I would appear on any other such site.
Your comment is idiotic, perhaps much like you, and I can only feel sorry for you. I am likely younger than you and yet know more than you will perhaps know in your entire life, and all I want is to encourage discussion by presenting a different viewpoint. And yet you just don’t get it, and you cover it up by trying to make a joke that is not funny or sensible in the least.
Poor you.
i must say going into someone phone is dead wrong i did it myself and it really cause a lot of stress in relationship,but i guess u got a huge problem on your hands u need to confront him now because the longer u wait the more stress u put on yourself so get some else to sit with you some you both feel comfortable and trusting because he will be very much in a temper,anger mood,
Why does a pastor or priest have to be involved? They all have their own issues . You should talk to him alone and find out whats going on.,
I agree with you Concerned. Bella seem to have this notion that a Pastor or Counselor has the answers to individual relationships or affairs of the heart.
anytime u need a pastor/lover call on b j that is?????????
eh beh, look it. Girlfriend if your man not a homo, then he is a Bi, cuz he ain’t straight for sure. And the other ting is, more dey play macho man and cursing, discriminating gay people is dey dat more ‘f@gg*t’ dan any ting.
gurl u betta watch urself, AIDS rampant in D.A and we hav alot of men hiding in the closet.
Ur “Boy” or should i say “GIRL” Friend is GAYYYYYYY…….move on with ur life b4 u catch something……i feel ur pain and disgust…REAL REAL TALK
what pastor..stupes they worst of than ppl. i say you have a batty man in your bed, and wen he curse of gay ppl he is just putting up a front so ppl wud nt no he is one of them.
n i bet if you talk to him about it he is just gonna get vex and hot tempered, saying “what the fu** u go in my phone i do”
pastors are men and men fail so don’t take the few that failed and say they are all the same….. are all men the same? are all women the same? are all boss men the same? NO so don’t judge if the are bad the will burn in time just like the other so please stop beating on pastors.