I am a 26-year-old woman and I am really looking for the right man but its just that I have had bad luck in the past.
This carnival I met a guy and I really like him. I want to have something serious with him but I don’t know how he feels about me.
He keeps tellin me he really likes me but as you know action speaks louder than words.
One night we were making love and I said to him, “I am really falling in love with you.” His reply to me was “It’s only now?”
I don’t think that was a response I wanted to hear. He has introduced me to his parents and everything and I even started spending weekends at his parent’s house.
What I find strange is that he doesn’t kiss me and hug me unless we’re in bed and making love; in other words having sex.
Another thing is that he told me before me and him got together he had a girlfriend but she went overseas. He claims they have nothing anymore but while cleaning his room I saw that he has a picture of them together.
Bella should I continue falling for this guy or leave him and move on?
I find it strange that you met a guy just this carnival and is already having sex with him and spending time at his parent’s house. It is making me feel that you rushed into this relationship without much thought.
I have the feeling that this guy is still in love with the “girlfriend that went overseas” and is simply making use of you. The fact that he only wants to hug you only when you two are having sex says quite a bit: his heart is just not there.
I encourage you to take a hard look at this relationship and have a straightforward conversation with your boyfriend. You need to let him know that you are serious about the relationship and his actions are really bothering you.
Another thing you can do is start acting as he does, giving him a mirrored reflection of himself. Don’t show any affection. If he’s happy with the two of you acting like buddies rather than a couple, then its time to move on.
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at firstname.lastname@example.org. Dear Bella is published Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.