My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. He is from up north and I am from town. All this time we have been living in the house my father left me when he died.

But the relationship has been very rocky because my boyfriend’s mother is controlling his life. He jumps at everything she says. Sometimes she calls in the middle of the night and he hires transport to take him to her place. This has been going on from day one and it is driving me crazy. I have spoken to him about it over the years, but there is no change.

Then last month he told me his mother told him that she is sick and she said she wants him near her. He said he is moving back home and will come down every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the evening and leave the next day.

I am devastated by this and I make known to him my feelings but he said he has no choice.

As painful as it is, I am going to give him an ultimatum this weekend, it is either me or this mother.

You think this is the right thing to do?


Dear Devastated,

After five years one would expect a man to settle down with his lover and even get married. Furthermore after all those years one would expect a man to have some level of control over his life and his relationship.

I am not saying he should completely forget his mother but I am sure he can work something out which would not put the relationship in jeopardy, which he is now doing.

You said you have spoken to him throughout the years and there is no change and you said the relationship has been rocky from the start. So maybe the ultimatum might just work. Give it a try and see how it works out. If not, move on. You don’t deserve this.


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