The pastor’s son won’t leave me alone

I happened to be in this situation. I am a young single mother who is very active in our church. Recently I was placed on a fund raising committee in which I worked with our pastor’s son.

The pastor’s son is very young but married, also with one child. One evening we were working very late on our project and we began talking about some personal matters. After a while, he began massaging my thighs. I was surprised but not shocked because some improper thoughts had been running through my mind from the time we started working together.

Couple of nights later, he did the same and then began his long tale of woe: he was forced to marry so early, he wanted to become a lawyer not a pastor, he felt the church was stifling and so on. He presented this in such a way that I felt sorry for the guy and that night we ended up having sex. It was very short because he went on like he never did it before and was done within a minute.

But now I realized I have created a monster because he won’t leave me alone. He calls, texts and emails me all the time and its all about sex. I am really getting tired of it because I don’t want to put my name, our church’s name and his name in any disrepute.

What do you suggest I do?

Sick and Tired

Dear Sick and Tired,

Obviously some boundaries have been crossed and now is the time to pick up the pieces. Now is the time to stand on your own and let the pastor’s son know how you feel.

It appears that you realized you made a mistake and don’t want to repeat it and this is what you have to make clear to the pastor’s son. So first start by staying away from him or when you are working together, get someone to be around.

If you are afraid to confront him face to face about this matter, start by emailing him. If that fails, call him. If that also fails then it will be time for a face to face confrontation and put all the cards on the table.

The key words: confront, confront, confront.

Bella

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130 Comments

  1. -Liam
    November 16, 2011

    Loool!!! Pastor son cyanna cross it!!!!

  2. MADNESS!
    November 16, 2011

    you wanted your jam down!!! an u hav de man story on DNO! Girl go an ask God for forgiveness..it takes 2 to tango! Bella fraid to curse allu!

  3. show me
    October 19, 2011

    my girl go and sin no more. 8)

  4. hmmmmmm
    October 16, 2011

    In church that have the most hypocrrite but yet always quick to judge…All i have to say god is watching all u….

    • Woodford Hill girl
      October 17, 2011

      Don’t you think He’s watching you too? beware my dear and be ready Jesus is coming soon,only God can judge the human heart,the people in church are not the only ones He’s coming to judge,we ALL shall stand before the judgement seat of God,none is exempt and that’s all I’m saying,don’t get too comfortable!!

  5. hmmmm
    October 12, 2011

    ya’ll write too much common most of us on dno on our lunch break n before we dun read 1 comment we forgot what the article about……. I’m sure all points are valid and are to brig forth a good conclusion but bear in mind it not an essay competition

  6. pusina
    October 12, 2011

    But that woman is a salop because she said she had thoughts of cokaying the man so she had that plan so what u get ti sal take..

    • MADNESS!
      November 16, 2011

      LMAO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAA ALLU KILIINGG ME!

    • January 3, 2012

      Thinking of having sex with a man makes a woman a salop? how dumb can u really be?

    • jesus we need mercy
      May 2, 2013

      hahaha

  7. Masacre Girl in BVI
    October 12, 2011

    Hmm, my girl from de time he touch your thighs u should have put a stop to it, ur a grown woman, u have a mind of ur own. U know he’s a married man n ur single, as a God fearing woman, u should know this is wrong. Yes, ur human but there certain things in life we can avoid. The most I can say to u right now, is ask God’s forgiveness for both u and the pastor’s son n ask God to help u through this situation. Also, talk to the pastor’s son, let him know what u guys did was not pleasing God n that it should not continue, if he don’t agree, talk to the pastor or someone u could trust , if u continue like this u might go crazy put a stop to it before it gets worse. Good luck!

  8. Sugar
    October 12, 2011

    I guess the one minute sex was a big disappointment. If it was good long and sweet he would have had to fight you off with a big stick 8) Now you are trying to make him look bad ? sweetheart it takes two so don’t try to play high and mighty now.

    • alas!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      October 13, 2011

      i couldnt agree more.shame on this woman for coming out and talking about that..u wanted the cokay all the time but it wasn’t wat u expected so u know if it’s like that the wife cokaying on him soon.lol

  9. dreadlocks
    October 12, 2011

    doh blame d one minute ting u really wanted it if he had u screamin yr husbands name u would go back for more

    • Sugar
      October 13, 2011

      You know ? :lol:

  10. shy
    October 12, 2011

    I must say, everyone can make mistakes.But you know the man is married, you are probably friendly with his wife.You are one of those so call cristians who give the church a bad name.The moment you see the guy put his hand on your lap you telling him you not their for that.You are on of those dirty christians.Self control woman, self control.

  11. Justice and Truth
    October 11, 2011

    Be fair and just. If every one look to their past and who brought them into the world, if their parents were married, were not or cohabitated and brought forth children and some of their children have done the same, some many of them, no one should lambaste those people but give them worthwhile advice which is what she is seeking.
    The woman is weak and so is pastor’s son. She made a mistake which absolutely no one on earth is incapable of making.
    She is a single woman; he, a married man. He may not be happy in his marriage. How often some people are forced to get married when they were not yet ready to get married.
    If what is stated is correct, he may not be in love with her but is looking for an outlet to pacify his feelings. Of course, he is wrong but this is due to his human weakness. Both of them need counseling. They need to pray to God for His divine assistance.
    As Bella stated she should take steps to eliminate this situation by talking to him. She should avoid close contact with him and ensure that someone is with them when she is helping out in the church and when she is going home as well. Otherwise she will have to cease helping out in the church.
    In any case, why is he in the room when she is alone helping out? Does he and his wife not have a separate home? For her happiness and peace of mind, she must do her best to sever ties with him.
    Beware of a man scorned. Be careful.

    • Woodford Hill girl
      October 12, 2011

      ME LIKES :-P :)

  12. Anonymous
    October 11, 2011

    Christianity is simply not the answer to mankind. It is an impractical way of life. The concept of monogamy needs to be reviewed in Christianity. Christianity needs to consider polygamy a solution to these adulterous practices in the Christian world. I’ve heard so many evils about Islam for e.g, traveled a lot and never heard their spiritual leaders in rubbish like Christians. In fact in an Islamic country this is a crime against the state and no one would want to marry such an Imam. Muslims are not perfect but these social ills are rare in Islamic societies.

    Second, this is a single mother. She has feelings, I think that the christian audience on DNO is a hypocritical one. One cannot control impure thoughts, one can control his or her actions also to fight these destructive thoughts. Also, her Christians sisters should aid her, see about her affair as we can see this is a woman who really needs to get married. This is not ‘virgin’ Mary, this woman obviously has feelings, when will you people address those things and stop talking about this flesh nonsense. It is God who created the flesh! You all look at sex as some perverted thing whereas sex is a healthy practice done between married couple.

    The Pastor’s son, I mean you are a married man, you cannot even satisfy a woman properly? What a dam shame! Even if the bible has so many errors and inaccuracies there are wise words from proverbs, Solomon etc, you mean you cannot learn some ‘divine’ wisdom? At least since B.J is alleged to be an adulterous man it seems he could do the job well for almost a decade but you Pastor’s son is a disgrace!

    • Woodford Hill girl
      October 12, 2011

      umm there are no two ways about the Bible,it’s either all truth or all lies so who is the hypocrite mr.Islam? all scripture is given by inspiration for learning and reproof,if you believe part and discard part 8-O I’m confused,while God created us sexual beings He condemns fornication and adultery I therefore offer no apology,we were all born in sin and shaped in iniquity, but when we are born again we (should)behave accordingly,but if we fall we should not come to you we go to God and then the elder of the church NOT the media,and that’s all I’m saying!

    • October 12, 2011

      @Anonymous

      You say “it is God who created the flesh” well that is where you do not know anything about God Almighty, about Love, and most certainly, naught, about Life.

      God would not intentionally, create a nature that is sinful, and rebels against Him and His ways of Love, even until this nature goes back into its original state of dust.

      But God created Life; which is His “offspring”,because of His nature Love–which is Spirit. That is the reason a person who is born again, of Love, is regarded as a child of God–according to the apostle John.

      That is why Jesus is referred to as the Son, for this Life–in the form of Spiritual Light– which is the “offspring” of God’s nature Love, is only found in Jesus Christ–about whom the apostle John tells us: “In Him there was Life and the Life was the Light of men”.

      That is why Jesus tell us: “I am in the Father and the Father is in Me”. “He who has seen Me has seen the Father”.

      God Almighty said let us create man in our “Image and Likeness” “Image”, Mr Muslim, is man’s physical body–Yes, flesh and bones which was meant to be God’s temple in man–God would have sole control of man’s mind, as He was connected to man’s conscience, by the power of His Holy Spirit.

      I have already explained God’s Likeness in man–which is Life, the offspring of God’s nature, Love in Spirit and Truth, when He said: “Let there be Light”

      But Adam and Eve defiled this temple, in which Life dwelt in them, through Eve’s intimate relationship with God’s enemy Satan–who disguised himself as a serpent.

      That relationship that Eve conducted with Satan is a form of sexual intercourse–in that sexual conduct is a form of eating, to satisfy the lust– meaning the hunger of the flesh.

      Satan seduced Eve and she gave in to that seduction, inviting her husband Adam, and he senselessly partook in that gruesome sin of both immorality of sex and disobedience against God.

      That is the reason they found themselves naked. Satan disrobed them, taking off their clothing of Spiritual Light, and he left them in the state of darkness–that is spiritual death–meaning separation from God Almighty who is of Light, Life in Spirit and in Truth–not the mortality or deadness of flesh and blood.

      When God cursed Eve He told her: “You will desire your husband and in pain you will bear children”

      Ask yourself this question: If God’s plan was for a woman to conceive through the thing that she does with her male partner, thereby giving birth to a child, why is that process of conception and reproduction a curse of fleshly desire and pain to Eve? But it was, because she sinned against God!

      Why did Jesus tell Nicodemus “that which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of Spirit is spirit–do not marvel that I said to you, you must be born again!

      I see that conception and reproduction through our sexual conducts was not God’s plan of multiplying, based on the nature of Mary’s conception and the birth of Jesus. Or are you denying what God’s Word said?

      For we cannot deny that Jesus never existed in this world, coming as a baby from a woman’s womb, and growing up into an adult human being like the rest of us.

      It was the state of Jesus’ mind that counted, Him having the mind of Love–the mind of Christ. His human flesh and blood only represented the body of a perfect Lamb for the sacrifice He would offer to Almighty God for the redemption of mankind.

      When God was cursing Adam, the last thing He said to Adam was, “for dust you are and to dust you shall return”.

      Just before He sent a flood that distroyed all of the first generation of Adam and Eve, God said “My spirit shall not dwell with man for ever, for he is indeed flesh”.

      If God of Spirit and Truth cannot mingle with the flesh of man, can we indeed say that He created this fleshly nature–a nature which the Bible describes as being sinful or the enemy of God through the process and product of a carnal mind?

      I could go and on to show you, Anonymous–mister Muslim– that the problems of the flesh and its lustful desires that you claim, getting married will solve, “is not of the Father it is of the world”. And the “world” is us, human beings, who refuse to be reconnected to God through conscience.

      If you want to stand in the presence of a Living God of Spirit, Truth, and Holiness, mister Muslim, you must desire to die to the flesh; not get married and to indulge yourself in all sorts of fleshly desires regardless of your age.

      Unless a man is born again, to develop and grow in the Spirit, encountering the mind renewal process, the way by which he will come to know God Almighty and His ways of Life–the attitude and conducts of Love, that man will not see the Kingdom of God.

      Anonymous, marriage and the rest of the form of this world is passing away. Jesus said that in the new heaven and earth, which follows the resurrection, they will neither marry nor will they be given in marriage; for they will live like angels in heaven.

      God created the flesh you say! What is the nature of Angels in Heaven?

    • Justice and Truth
      October 13, 2011

      @ Woodford Hill girl

      Tell him like it is. Anonymous is ignorant of Christianity and its teachings. Well stated!

    • Justice and Truth
      October 13, 2011

      @ Anonymous

      What I have to state to you is, KEEP QUIET! You are not an expert on Christianity. You do not even know what is contained in the Holy Bible. Our God never taught us according to the Holy Bible that a man should have more than one wife and to treat them as second class, lowly people.
      You are living in sin if you have more than one woman/wife.
      Stick to the issue!
      Little do you know what other messages were given to the world on what we are doing and not doing to live God’s Word and happily and peacefully to obtain eternal salvation.
      The Ever Blessed Virgin Mary said to a visionary: “Many souls go to Hell for sins of the flesh.” She also said, “The cup is already overflowing. Souls go to Hell as snowflakes fall.” Better believe it. If you doubt that, one day, the Day of Judgment, it will be revealed to you. You will then know the truth which you are presently denouncing.

      • gorillaz
        October 14, 2011

        there you are also misled about your ever blessed mary .

  13. .
    October 11, 2011

    This is a monumentous joke. Woman shut up man! YOu wanted your sex to. NONSENSE! CRAP!

  14. October 11, 2011

    people does ave to much to say when something happen, eh! one little situation arise between a man and woman having sex. yes the man is married but kets stop pretend here sometimes sex limits our control towards it and believe me feelings does come very fast. a situation such as this could happen to any of us once we limit ourselves towards it, no matter how Godly we playing. so do come talk about de woman salop it ave worst salop than that and some of them are in high places and hold high positions and they doing worst than that. you should of not let this happen because is a married man and is in church and the whole christian life but it happen already whether they say u wanted it or not. you couldnt of wanted it then ur a single woman i know how you feel.one thing am dissapointed in,is that u dont know dominica news online is the worst place to put your business people are going to ave so much to say, girl like their so much better, were living in a pretence here in dominica,i thought u should know. haha NEVA TALK DA TALK, IF U CANT WALK THE WALK.

  15. delicious
    October 11, 2011

    Some people just need not say anything. Doesn’t the bible say all have fall short. She has fallen, women have been know to fall for sob stories all the time. She’s single, she may have been abstinent for some time the devil used what was an obvious weakness against her. It is known to happen. She’s asking for help. The church reaction would have been to cover it up, look with her as a liar and try to lay blame at her feet. She’s asking for advice so please just give some sound advice that would actually be useful. Sweetie the best thing is to create a distant between the two of you. Change church if you have to. Find a trusted member of the church who can guide you through the guilt stage so you don’t stay down, but seek God’s guiding hand through what is an obvious test. I wish you all the best. Let the pastor son know that if he continues to harrass you, you will have no choice but to inform his wife. There will be consequences but thats the price you will have to pay. At least you will have peace of mind and a clear conscience

    • show me
      October 19, 2011

      say nothing to no man but ur father in heaven,he will see you through.GOd is a good GOd he know’s what you are going through.pray to him ask him to help you my there .

  16. October 11, 2011

    sometimes in our lives whether we are christians or cathlic or from any other religion, one thing we ave to understand that we were born into a life of sin. yes! Jesus died for the sins of the world and that is most certainly true, but one thing i cant understand with people is that they think when their baptise it means sin no more. where all expected to make mistakes in our lives,no matter what religion we come from or no matter where our faith lies and how much we think we ave given our lives to christ. what we are to do now is ask the lord God to forgive us for our sins.sick and tired i believe that god will forgive you for sins because of his mercy and grace, he surely will.Others ave done worst and are priest and pastors of churches here and around the world.SO MY QUESTION IS AVE GOD NOT FORGIVEN THEM.

    • Humanist
      October 11, 2011

      If someone is born into another religion or not part of any religion, how could the idea of being born into sin have application to them? Your comment is specifically about Christians, though your first sentence suggests it applies to a wide range of worldviews.

    • Justice and Truth
      October 11, 2011

      @ Linquist

      I do not know what type of linquist you are. First of all I must correct you. You mentioned christians or cathlic. Actually the word is “Catholic.”
      What do you mean by christians or cathlic? Catholics are Christians. The first Christians dating back to 2000 years ago after Our Lord came to earth, taught, suffered, crucified, died and resurrected. We are very well Christo-centered, baptized in the Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
      Some of you are of the opinion that Catholics are not Christians. Catholic mean universal which is what Our Lord meant and wanted for each and every one of us when He prayed in the Garden, “That we may be one”. Some people have turned their backs on it because of all sorts of reasons. Think back or conduct a research how all the other churches were formed.
      I do not know where you got that information from except that it came straight from the jaws of Hell, Satan who surely hates the Catholic Church/It’s members and who has placed those thoughts in the hearts of some people, some of whom were baptized Catholics to begin with. Little do they know.
      On the night before He was betrayed, Our Lord Jesus Christ took bread and wine, blest them and said: “…Do this in memory of Me…And I will raise you up on the last day.” Read, review and study the Gospel of John. IT IS IN THE HOLY BIBLE!
      You have been falsely indoctrinated about the Catholic Church, what It stands for and about Its Dogmas.
      For your information the Catholic Church is not inferior to any other church on this earth. It was founded by Our Lord Jesus Christ who is the Cornerstone of this Church. Pray to God for discernment and enlightenment of the truth.
      This reminds me of the words of a late Archbishop, Cardinal of Toronto who was our Leader in the Archdiocese of Toronto. He recently passed on this summer. I attended his Funeral Holy Mass. These are his excellent and inspiring words which I am passing on. His final legacy for the Catholic Church. They are printed behind his picture. I have a few copies which I am giving/sending to family and friends. I love those words:

      It is Jesus to whom we look.
      It is Jesus whom we imitate.
      It is Jesus whom we follow.
      It is Jesus who is with us so we can be with him.
      Yes, we work with others.
      Yes, we learn from others.
      But in Jesus we find our ultimate identity and purpose.
      He is the Alpha and the Omega for each one of us and for every human being.

      His Eminence Aloysius Ambrozic 1930-2011.

      Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and other souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen!

      His godly, inspiring words will live on forever as a reminder to Catholics of all including the enemies of this Church to, hopefully, silence them and their adverse words once and for all.

      • Woodford Hill girl
        October 13, 2011

        8-O WOW they really got you did’nt they? and they did a good job too!

      • gorillaz
        October 14, 2011

        There are persons who attend the catholic church who may have accepted the lord Jesus Christ as their Lord and personal savior , who don’t acknowlege any other as intercessor and midiator between God and man except Christ . however to claim all catholics , baptist , pentecostals etc , are christians is not true at all .You continue to pervert people with your indulgence and this is devilish , is like saying go rape and kill innocent women and children and when you die because you’re catholic christian you’l go to heaven or we’ll pray nine nights and you’ll be saved from hell having rested in purgotory . SAD … get saved .

    • Justice and Truth
      October 11, 2011

      @ Linquist

      You are human and are liable to sin and to fall into sin many times for as long as you live. No one is an exception.
      God forgives if they ask His forgiveness with a humble and contrite heart. God does not just dish out forgiveness to every one if they do not possess such hearts. Furthermore they must promise to make amendment for their sins, to sin no more, through sincere worship, prayer, penance and sacrifice as a means of appeasing God. If this is satisfactory to Him, according to their heart which He can read, then He will forgive them.
      We do not know whom God has forgiven. Our duty is to pray for those who fall into sin as weak human beings and offer good advice to assist them and leave the rest to God.
      We are not to judge and lambaste them. You should know what Our Lord said about not judging and plucking the splinter from our eyes before criticizing and judging them.
      Keep in mind that God is taking a note of all what we say and do. We are not alone in this world. We are living in God’s world who is the Maker and Ruler of the world and who has the final say.
      Finally, this man needs marriage counseling. The woman needs to be counseled. She has shown remorse. This is reason enough for her to be forgiven and offer her concrete advice. Her life is now disrupted by this incident and she would like to restore it to her former way of life.

    • Anonymous
      October 12, 2011

      a catholic is a christian

  17. forreal
    October 11, 2011

    lady i think both of you all need an exorcism,and i mean like literally,because you can not tell me that both of you all working together on a church program and performing that act,and you know that the guy is married,you all got to have demons,and making it worst you not even going to the pastor and confess what is going on with you and his son,instead you chose to use a social media to find a solution,so now tell me if your head right,if so timothy need to put you in the primary goal bracket,because you are a mental health issue.

    • forreal
      October 11, 2011

      being a dominican yourself,you should know dominicans like a beth,that why this medium here is called bella,but it should have been called beth la,you are not doing the church any good,once this kind of stories hit the streets its hmmmm amen

    • Humanist
      October 11, 2011

      Why are some Dominicans so obsessed with demons? Anything that surprises them–exorcism. Really? Come on. The story presented to Bella is mundane. It could have happened anywhere and has likely happened many, many times before to many different people. It is not a matter for psychiatrists to look into at all, given the information we currently have.

    • Justice and Truth
      October 13, 2011

      @ forreal

      DO NOT JUDGE! OFFER SOME CONCRETE ADVICE TO ASSIST THEM.
      ARE YOU SO PERFECT? GOD KNOWS BETTER ABOUT YOU!

  18. Jacky Chan
    October 11, 2011

    Somebody tell me what is improper thoughts – does that mean horney. Just asking . cause if improper thought mean horney – forgive me father for I have sinned and will continue to sin sometimes 3 – 5 times a day. Father when it’s cold improper thoughts wont leave me alone , father when I eat Lambi improper thoughts does harass .

    • October 12, 2011

      @JackyChan

      Hahahahahahahahahaha! I have to let you know that laughing out loud, is what I did as I read what you wrote above. You sound so very funny; but you are so right!

      In our relationship with God the majority of us have missed the point. For that reason we are acting more self-righteous, than acting righteous, but self-righteousness is a sin against God.

      That is why the man Job, in the Holy Bible had to go through 40 years of rebuke and chastening, as God allowed Satan that limit of time to buffet Job’s Life, because God loved him; just as much as He loves all people.

      Job was self righteous, in that he thought his relationship with God meant that he be the best good person in the world–like never having improper thoughts for example– and that was his aim; while he took all the honors and merits for himself, forgetting that God was in control, as He created us to give the glory.

      That is why the Jewish Leaders and the High Priests of Jesus’ days could not accept Jesus. Jesus would not condone to their attitude and conduct of self-righteousness–like they never wanted to mix with people whom they called sinners. Jesus did not mix with the religeous rules of the Pharisees and Sadducees, the High Priest, and the Scirbes–the reason they chose to crucify Him. But that happening was to be fulfilled.

      So Jesus repeatedly said those men were hypocrites, blind, deaf, existing in darkness–meaning that those men were walking around with a dead soul in a coffin of flesh and bones.

      But they claimed to know God, while they would not accept the Man, Himself; the Person of God Almighty, who walked and talked with them–His name, Jesus Christ. How was that possible?

      Like you said if we were to think ourselves guilty of improper thoughts–like whatever the young lady suggested those thoughts were in her mind, and what you described–then we would have to simply think of ourselves as permanently guilty, asking for God’s forgiveness every second of the day–period.

      And the mistake we are making is to use that kind of guilt to allow Satan to create havoc in our lives.

      For example the mere fact that “Sick and Tired” gave in that young man’s massaging her lap, saying she was not surprised because she was “having improper thoughts” prior to that man’s conduct, shows the nature of fleshly weakness in her–a weakness that she easily surrendered to using her thoughts as an excuse.

      It is like right away she blamed herself for what that young married man was doing to her, by saying” “I was thinking he would do just that”–so to speak. So I am not surprised; but do I have to allow him to do it? Sounds more like “that is what I wanted him to do”

      We have to get it into our heads, that as human beings we exist with a mind that is under sole control of our human senses and our human senses only want to satisfy our fleshly needs.

      But most of our fleshly satisfaction is against God’s will; because when we have fleshly satisfaction we do not have the desire for spiritual satisfaction.

      Only that spiritual satisfaction is what stays on with us–to keep us growing in Spirit and in Truth–the nature that we must transform to to live in the presence of God.

      Fleshly sastisfaction is a poisonous food fed to us by the enemy; that is the reason our nature of flesh and blood is kown as mortallity–meaning a dead or perishing nature.

      No one human being can help “sick and tired” out of the predicarment she is now faced with, because she allowed it. She now has to decide:

      “I made the first mistake” I should not have allowed that man to touch my legs to begin with, much more to agree to have sexual relationship with him. She does not claim to be in love with the young man, so she it should not be that hard for her.

      Unless she is afraid that this young man will blackmail her using a wicked lie–just tell him point blank:

      I do not want to continue in that conduct of sinfulness with you–you are a married man; we are in the same church; your father is the pastor of our church. I am calling it quit! Let us just remain neutral friends.

      As human beings we have no strength of our own to fight the wickedness of the heavenly realms, and calling for help through another human being is simply useless.

      We have to use faith, trust, obedience, and humility, which teaches us to believe that there is a Living God, who loves us enough to deliver us from all of those mess that we get ourselves into.

      “Sick and Tired”, God alone can bring back peace of mind to you from your conscience. You are a lucky to be already in a church. Seek for God’s deliverance.

      God is standing at your door and knocking, through His Person, the Son Himself, Jesus Christ. Open your door for Him! He will come in to give you spiritual healing. His medical doses are the spoons-full of spiritual food. Once your spirit is healed, nothing else matters.

    • me
      October 12, 2011

      LOL………LOL……….THUMBS UP

  19. Sandy
    October 11, 2011

    Women have to realise the power that they possess. You said you had improper thoughts, he saw that in your eyes. He massaged your thighs, he was testing you, and he knew you liked hum so he used the oldest trick in the book to seduce you, but you could have stopped it before it began.

    The enemy is fighting against marriages. And it is people like you who cause men to cheat on the wives. I wonder how you would have felt if the sex was better. Be honest it is beteen you and God.

    • October 12, 2011

      @Sandy

      You are so right!

      “You said you had improper thoughts” he saw that in your eyes–“but you could have stopped before it began”! Exactly!

      It is also true that men can see a lot in a woman that may be the last thing on her mind–I know that through personal experience. At that time it is easier for us to spell out a very firm NO! to him.

      But surrendering to him just because I had the thought in my mind, is a weakness that gives me the lost. As women it is time that we try our best through self-control and to ge the win–for the welfare of everyone involved and for our peace of mind and our reputation.

      After all! A woman has to love her self first! In this story here, Love has nothing to do with it. What is the meaning of our existing in this world? Those two people who are in the same church, for crying out loud!

  20. CAC
    October 11, 2011

    Sad story, but one which seems to be frequenting the churches these days. Adultery, fornication are sins–let’s make no mistake. So here is what you do. 1)Flee the very appearance of evil. Run, run, run. 2) Spend time in the word of God and prayer. 3) Confess and forsake your sin, and then ask God’s forgiveness. 4) Once you’re strong enough then deal with the pastor’s son. 5) be on your p’s & q’s because there is a spirit of defilement released in the earth and it’s purpose is to soil the garments of the bride of Christ. Keep yourself pure and pursue God. If you need sex, find a husband and marry, but please do not fornicate. Many people make the mistake of fornicating and end up in trouble with demonic oppression and disease. Please, please hid my advice. You’ll be happy you did.

    • TrueWord
      October 11, 2011

      Now that is a solid comment, I hope she reads this one and truly follow diligently. I pray God deliver you out of that calamity. Seek the Lord! For you need more strength than you think!

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2011

      these days. please this has always happened in the church. these so called good christian men love to prey on the single women in their congregation.

      • Woodford Hill girl
        October 15, 2011

        So go to church and show them how to behave right, seems to me that you know how!

  21. Francis Chicago
    October 11, 2011

    She saying that improper thoughts has been running though her mind from the time they started working togather.When you dwell on corrupted thoughts you’re walking, not after the spirit, but after the flesh thats was introduced by the vain imagination.You know that this man is a married man well you call your self a christian. christ gave you powerful fighting instruments his word be positive by using your will.

  22. me
    October 11, 2011

    I dont believe this story

  23. im not sleepy
    October 11, 2011

    stupessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

  24. God is Good
    October 11, 2011

    WOW! thank you for your honesty! Adultery is a very forgiveable sin. You are totally free to confess and forsake it. I commend you and rejoice with you. It is not only you that is doing this, there is an evil spirit that is pushing/helping you to do what you do not like & weakening you to sincerely pray to God & will be deceiving you not to worry about it Rom.7:14-25. You should from now on be praying sincerely to the Lord Jesus Christ to cleanse you, deliver you from everything that is pushing you into it, occupy you and glorify Himself in you John.14:13-14.

  25. fire
    October 11, 2011

    What should single woman do???

    • shy
      October 12, 2011

      Look for their own man, not other peoples husband.

    • alas!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      October 13, 2011

      come and check me i’ll give u conselling and 100 minutes..www.staylong.com

    • show me
      October 13, 2011

      keep her legs cross if she was a real christian she would have stop it.

      a real christian know their boundary, am not saying she’s not human but she’s trying to make ppl feel sorry for her and crucify the pastor’s son and he him self look like he regret he married.

  26. listener
    October 11, 2011

    I totally agree with WoodfordHill girl, if u messed up this was not the right forum to bring this up. As believers we need to be more wise than this, taking your stories to DNO and talk shows certainly does not help, go to the pastor or any other christian or leader you feel you could trust and stop bringing shame on the name of christ!

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2011

      how about blaming that married pastor for bringing shame to your so called christ. last i checked the pastor is the one who took vows towards his wife and god smh. christians are nothing but stupes always blaming everyone but the wicked men in their churches

      • Woodford Hill girl
        October 11, 2011

        You need to read again, she said the pastor’s SON not the pastor!

    • Aye Dominique
      October 11, 2011

      You know I have a problem with you so-called christians.

      What is the difference between this young lady in the church messing with someone’s husband and a young lady outside the church messing with someone else’s husband? Is there any real difference between the two?

      We use the word christian too casual. Everyone that goes to church is not a christian. If this woman and this man had any fiber of christianity in them they would not have allowed their feelings to take them to bed.

      I go to church and sit in the back pew and God alone knows why, because maybe this is really where the spirit of God has a resting place. There is a serious war in the churches and we expect that, but its like in certain situations we make no effort, christians behave worst than the unbelievers and they turn around and look down on the unbelievers.

      We need to be honest, and we need to seek and ask for God’s guidance in sincerity, otherwise christianity will be the laughing stock of the rest of the world.

  27. dominican abroad
    October 11, 2011

    Lady you allow your self to eat the forbiding friut you need to ask God for for treu forgiveness, and never to do this again. do not get cougth up in the flesh. cus hell is real, and also is heaven.watch out for the preachers 99.9 percent are wolf in sheep clothing.dominica has enougth sincle men for you to have utilized your available resource and believe me it is plentyfull.

    • single woman
      October 11, 2011

      i want a man!! can someone point me to a good one?

      • Anonymous
        October 12, 2011

        yes, go to God

    • B. E .B
      October 12, 2011

      Why do you think that the person who wrote that article is from Dominica? People from all over the world are reading DNO, so you should’nt base your thoughts on Dominica

  28. Tony
    October 11, 2011

    Look lady you just another full because religion is just a business. Please take a look at where the Pastor lived and what car he is driving. Do you know how to read, Well if you can read then just read the bible and be honest with yourself and others. Go to church, Go to the podium and tell everyone what he did to you. If you want you can tell them that you felt sorry for him ,therefore, you gave him some but make sure you have all the text and voice mails. Then say if you do not believed it I can play some of his voice mail and play the most damaging one’s where he is asking you for more sex. To be quite honest you should have enjoyed it and move on but since you put it out there just deal with it.

  29. Anonymous
    October 11, 2011

    hmmm.

  30. Truth
    October 11, 2011

    You had “improper thoughts” about the young man, which means there is age difference. He confided in you and you allowed him to touch you inappropriately, which means you wanted sex with a married man. When you finally let him have it, the excitement of doing it in the church, he’s married and you’re older made him finish too fast. You didn’t enjoy the sex so you think it’s not worth pursuing. The fact is you’re not guilty for sleeping with another woman’s husband nor are you feeling bad about taking advantage of the young church man; you just mad because the sex isn’t good. The only person I feel bad for is the man wife their sex life must be rough. I’d like to offer my services but I don’t sleep with married women. Stop your nastiness.

    • nite
      October 11, 2011

      I could not have agreed with u more.. If i could give u 10 thumbs up i wld…

    • huh?
      October 11, 2011

      forgive me, but how can having improper thoughts about the guy prove that there is an age difference?..

      • Truth
        October 12, 2011

        huh? she called him “young man” which means there is an age difference.

      • show me
        October 13, 2011

        the way she talk it sound like he younger than her

    • Truth
      October 11, 2011

      I’d like to come up to canada to be your 20 minute pastor. Then we will pray to get rid of your hypocricy

      • Truth
        October 12, 2011

        “Truth” You couldnt find another handle to use besides mine. I n I is the original TRUTH.

    • ?
      October 12, 2011

      @ Truth..u make no sense whatsoever….because she said “young man” means there is an age difference?…where did u go to school?

      • truth
        October 13, 2011

        a woman would never call a man “young man” if there was not a significant age difference between the two of them. You dont need school to know that, check yourself.

    • TeteMorne I from...
      October 13, 2011

      Goodness! I’d like to disagree with you, but, I will not. I swear some people actually make up stories in other to start stuff.

      • show me
        October 13, 2011

        i believe that

  31. ..............
    October 11, 2011

    WOMAN YOU UPSETTING ME .
    THE MAN GET OVEN THE MAN PUTTING WOOD BOY? GOD ALONE THAT IS PEFECT.
    THE GUY IS A HUMAN BEING LIKE ANY BODY ELSE. AND FOR YOUR INFO BECAUSE HE IS THE PASTER’S SON YOU NOT THINKING OF AIDSSSSSSS??? SENTIIIIIIIIIII

    • sleepy
      October 11, 2011

      sleepy but i can still recognize a spelling error.. Pastor’s not Paster’s

      • ..............
        October 11, 2011

        sort ou sort en chouw not txto style nah ass dam

      • me
        October 11, 2011

        i think thats PASTORS’ and not Pastor’s..hehe

      • October 12, 2011

        @Me

        You are wrong too. He is the Pastor’s son–not Pastors’ because it is one Pastor. Had it been more than one Pastor, then you write Pastors’

      • me
        October 12, 2011

        @Lazavier4Jesus…obviously u didnt take in ur english at school…”the pastors’ son” means the son of the pastor…if u put the apostrophe before the “s” it will mean something totally different…if it was more than one pastor, there would b no need for the apostrophe…gosh, dont embararass urself so…

    • October 12, 2011

      @me

      Did you say that I am embarrassing myself? Well I was teacher for 6 years before I left Dominica, and if you were in my class, I give you a failing mark–F-!

      You are talking about one pastor, who has a son. Hence you write apostrophe ‘s’ after the the noun “Pastor” because it is “singular”–if you do not know what a “noun” and “singular” is, which I do not think you do– I have already said it above. Here it is again: “The pastor’s son” “One father and one son”

      You use the apostrophe before the s’ in Pastors’ because you are talking about more than one pastor–like saying the “pastors’office”. Hence an office belonging to more than one pastor.

      And by the way how would you write the word that means more than one pastor? I can only write “Pastors” Hence son’s father is like any number of men from 2 upwards! Hahahahaha!

      Me, you do not know who you are trying to correct, as, at the same time you are also making a fool of yourself before other people who know English grammar.

      And so, I am telling you that you are someone who needs some more schooling. So if you are in school, try harder! If you are out of school, learn from me; that is if you do not want to go back to school.

      • me
        October 13, 2011

        No wonder u had to leave Da. Our children r better off without “teachers” like u.

      • Abu Sulayman
        October 13, 2011

        It is so sad you taught English yet you cannot see that trinity amounts to three gods.

        God the father = 1
        God the son = 2
        God the holy ghost = 3

        You have been lied to by white people with a grecco-roman pagan view of a lie about the Most High. When will you wake up? I guess it’s true what they say about the elderly as well as stubborn people, they are stuck in their ways unless Allah wishes to guide them.

      • Fair and balance
        October 17, 2011

        Common ppl stop fooling yourselves,grow up and stop acting like children…

  32. Woodford Hill girl
    October 11, 2011

    In the first place you both lusted after each other ok damage done,what do you do? you come on here looking for advice,do you realize what you are doing? people like you make it difficult to win souls for the kingdom of God.What you should have done after you BOTH sinned was to go to him and let him know how you feel that it should have never happened and if he keeps coming back for more you go to the church elder and if he still does not stop which I’m sure he would,then take it to the church board,that is how you handle church matters,not taking it to the public,you wrote about not wanting to bring “disrepute” to the church,well sweetheart you just did,granted you did not give the name of a church it really does’nt matter,if you claim to be a believer that’s all it takes,always remember there are people out here trying to witness to a dying world, and that’s all I’m saying,stop stepping unto the devil’s playground you’re no match for him!! :cry: :-?

    • G.I Joe
      October 11, 2011

      So you want to keep the pretence alive? She is correct in what she did. In so doing she is exposing those hypocrites who pretend they are better than everybody else.

      • Woodford Hill girl
        October 11, 2011

        I’m praying for you too would you go to the media and tell them that your son and your daughter slept together? er I didn’t think so, you would handle it within the family,but you wouldn’t know that’s how to behave because you like confusion I understand!

    • B. E .B
      October 12, 2011

      The only reason why you and I are hearing about this, it’s just because the sexual intercourse lasted only one minute, otherwise we would’nt have known about it

  33. sleepy
    October 11, 2011

    so why is on DNO you come and put your story? Why didn’t you just tell him plain out blunt as a christian woman I made a mistake with you and don’t want to repeat it.

    what make you think Bella can give you the advice you need. Lady go and pray and ask the Almighty Father what for you to do.

  34. Jacky Chan
    October 11, 2011

    Boy I want to become a member of that church so that when the pastor pray for me I will get the results in one minute. That is my interpretation of a minute man pastor – a pastor who delivers on the minute. I heard Pastor used to deliver results in 35 seconds but you have to pay 50000 dollars for delivery

    • Woodford Hill girl
      October 11, 2011

      @ jaky Chan you’re an idiot

      • Woodford Hill girl
        October 11, 2011

        Oops sorry my bad,JaCky

      • Jacky chan
        October 11, 2011

        Woodfordhill Girl you like picking on me uh. I take that to mean an invitation to Florida. I promikse you I am no minute man pastor but I can sing alleluhia if you play my organ well.

        I love you my fellow island girl.

    • bj
      October 11, 2011

      lol

    • October 12, 2011

      Yeah Jacky Chan

      Cut that one out! It is not funny at all!

  35. Tomian
    October 11, 2011

    Girl I feel sorry for you. U already committed one sin by having improper thoughts about the man and then another by having sex with the man. U need a serious cleansing. My advice to u is talk to this man seriously and make him understand that if he doesn’t leave you alone you will definitely go to the pastor or his wife. You have to be prepared for what comes next because remember, he is a man and it’s going to look like u tempted him at least that’s how society is going to see this. Good Luck!

  36. Anonymous
    October 11, 2011

    If the thing was good for one minute the next time it will be longer. Take you thing and be quite lol

  37. seasoning pepper
    October 11, 2011

    you wanted it so you did it, now because you realise that he is a minute man you don’t want him no more. i am quite sure if had give you a good workout and pass your expectations with flying colours you have continued this little scenareo with him. both of you all should be punished. uou only now want it to stop because you were dissappointed with the outcome.

  38. Anonymous
    October 11, 2011

    Mistakes do happen and make nobody tell u otherwise christians are human too and will sometimes fall short of the glory of god.You have recognized your mistake go and sin no more, as for pastor’s son talk to him firstly if that don’t work try the pastor and only as a last resort should you go to the wife please don’t distroy that marriage. The man use the oldest trick in the book to get some next time wise up.

  39. fatty batty
    October 11, 2011

    well she really give him that sex fast papa she really wanted it too maybe it was not what she was looking for so she want him to stop,good luck in making him stop,my best advice is MOVE TO ANOTHER CHURCH AND PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT YOUR MISTAKE.

  40. mouth of the south
    October 11, 2011

    well i think most posters plus bella have given her good advice… one thing she didn’t get much backlash… i think the d/can populace has some ‘hatred’ towards pastors or pastor sons when it involves sex outside marriage…. i guess it’s because we expect much better from them… anyway let’s hope she confronts this situation head on and bring it to a stop

  41. Jailbird
    October 11, 2011

    You saying Pastor son wont leave you alone,. why dont you say that i went and sleep with the pastor son and it wasnt what i expected and now i dont want him again? Girl you are too salop you call yourself a christian but yet you funicating with a church member? Salop go and get your head on straight and ask God to forgive you for your adultery..You know the man is married and yet you still sleep with him…you are too salop leave bella alone and go to God

    • Anonymous
      October 12, 2011

      You’re such an ass. The pastor’s son wasn’t salop too? The woman is looking for advice, not a bashing. I don’t know why DNO posts these ridiculous comments from simpletons.

  42. G.I Joe
    October 11, 2011

    All she has to do is tell the man firmly, it is over. It was nice while it lasted, but he must move on.

    If you or the other person are in a relationship, you have to understand from the get go that sex will be fleeting. You do your thing if you must, but don’t expect to linger on.

  43. miss LLOYD
    October 11, 2011

    well my single mother is not that he never had sex before but he never had such good sex at home so he wants some more watch out that man might be ready to leave home to be with you so stop the monster in it path or let it be what it will be but before you let it be make sure he is not a 1 min man so therefore you have to try him again just use a socks please

  44. i vex
    October 11, 2011

    i vex with mamzel we..she 4get what is sex man..she didn’t expect him to come for more of that sugar..that is y Christ said we need to cling to our wife or husband. is the same honey i don’t understand those men you know..and women make it worse by accepting when those men come for sugar..they are so cheap. girl you doh have a man in your life? if not y not listen to what paul says in corinthians. and another thing control your thoughts..obviously you think sex you will want sex. so u din’t expect him to come back after the iminute sewo. girl it is time women stop making themselves cheap..so men can stay with there wives. men and you better treat your wife as you supposed to i know of wives who give there all to their husband and those men still look for more outside because they cannot control their feelings. hey it is not easy you know..everyday they flesh fights against the spirit that is y we have to stay in the word and pray everyday. so stand up men and women of God and do not let flesh take over. iminute sex and then she feel she create a monster.. that is what the devil does. at fist it is nice and bam problem. Let us pray ay ay everybody lets pray ay ay ay

  45. Anonymous
    October 11, 2011

    Yes go on having SEX hide behind the church….lie to man! but not to God…people like you, see young girls/boys jumping during carnival band, or holding their little boy friends hand, and call them salop, why? because the? do it in public…..God see in the dark and also in the light….not that am saying what you did was wrong, the one to judge you has done that even before you did the act….

    Be careful your sins seem to be doubling by the second..your sin+his+his wife’s+the church+ you lying to your self and God..Girl you in so much shit…..you’ll need a shovel…..

    but if to you it is not a sin..wash your hands and Throw Away the towel….you liked it eh………..yes I know you did….who knows, maybe that night God was sleeping and he did not see you….

  46. target
    October 11, 2011

    slackness……just wondering if he could have managed a longer session with you, if you wouldnt continue in this coomon behaviour in this country…..adultery.
    You sound very disappointed in his ability to deliver….

    On the other hand, our advice to you is to find out your mission in Christ and work thus

  47. TU TIF
    October 11, 2011

    Girl call pastor BJ for advise.

  48. hallelu
    October 11, 2011

    Girl let me tell u something..i don’t know if you have been born again or not but if you are i just want to tell u that Galatians 5 tells us to Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. now the moment you stay away from the word and prayer that is what will happen..we have so many people in our churches at the front of things yet they don’t live right..”by their fruits we shall know them” the most you can do is confront the guy and let him see that you are really serious and will not repeat what happened.

  49. Jah know
    October 11, 2011

    alas! he done in 1 minute! boy mr was really swef eh. but still, my girl u wanted it too. ah u had improper thoughts before! a bad manners u self have. but de good ting is u recognise your wrong. tell de man if he doh stop, u will expose him to de dominican public. and u know we like dem juicy story dere. lol

    • B. E .B
      October 12, 2011

      Again, why are you basing your thoughts on Dominica?

  50. Learn from BJ
    October 11, 2011

    Girl what u do in the dark must come out to light. Talk to the man sensibly and if he still not leaving u alone, go to his wife (she might not believe u), the church board, the pastor, anyone who is in a position to reprimand him. Some counselling on both your parts wont hurt either.

  51. One Love
    October 11, 2011

    8-O IF YOU’RE NOT LYING THEN MOVE TO A DIFFERENT CHURCH

  52. o_O
    October 11, 2011

    SINGING>>>

    Ooooooh, I don`t want I don`t need I can`t stand no minute man
    I don`t want no minute man
    Ooooooh, here`s your chance be a man take my hand understand
    I don`t want no minute man

    [Trina’s verse]
    Uh, uh
    You know lil` mama ain`t with that quick s**t
    You better break me off stiff tongue or stiff d**k
    One minute, two minutes, three minutes
    Hell naw, to please me you gotta sleep in it
    I see you talk a good game and you play hard
    But if I put this thing on ya, can you stay hard?
    If not, you better keep your day job
    Cause I`m looking for a man to make me say God (GOD!)

    HAHAHAA WOYYYYYYY LOOK IT! hahahaa

    <>

    • island gyal
      October 11, 2011

      hahahahahaha…dat is d track aself we!!!

  53. Satelite
    October 11, 2011

    Let the Church know this and see how much he will trouble you again. If you really want this to stop, tell the Pastor, tell his wife, tell a friend in the church, then tell the whole church. They will first blame you but if they are forgiving, they will understand and maybe put you on “probation” ha ha ha

    • UNKNOWN
      October 12, 2011

      THEY MIGHT ALL DENY IT AND MAKE HER LOOK LIKE THE BAD ONE ..

  54. JoJo
    October 11, 2011

    so what ??….The pastor son isn’t the pastor is he ?

    • SMA Alumni
      October 11, 2011

      Did you read the Article ?

      • JoJo
        October 11, 2011

        u’re right, i did not

  55. Garçon a la Maison
    October 11, 2011

    Alright I waiting for Tiny’s response…

    Admin that story is hilarious…

  56. Natacy
    October 11, 2011

    what kind of crap is this! active in church and pastor son, committing adultery. hmn

  57. common sense
    October 11, 2011

    I think u are responsible as well for wat happened and it seems like u wanted it to happen. You said he massaged ur thighs…wat did u do then…did u attempt to put him in his place right then?…u said u were having improper thoughts from the time u started working together…hellooo…thats a red flag..u allowed it to happen a couple of nites after and said u were sorry for him so u gave in and had sex with him…so it was pity sex huh?…wat did u expect after u made urself an easy target?…of course he is gonna come after u for more…tell him u are gonna name and shame him throguh his church and wife, and Im sure he will leave u alone..accept the fact that u made a poor choice in judgement and be prepared to face the consequences if he has a different version of what happened..I wish u all the best.

    • One Love
      October 11, 2011

      8-O she has LOST the prerogative to name and shame him

      How does she start?/ Dear church I felt sorry for him so I gave him pity sex

      now he won’t leave me alone he wants more

      so please ask him to stop?

      • Anonymous
        October 11, 2011

        both common sense and one love making good sense.he will deny it and she will look like a fool. then de board will come down on her, accusing pastor married son? she better off finding a new church.how is she going 2 function in the church after this knowing de wife always watching her.this is a lesson,resist the devil and he will flee. i hope you find your way, be vivilant for the devil walks around seeking for prey to devour

    • tom
      October 11, 2011

      that mamselle coming and say, she wanted it too so what is her point?

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