Concerns raised about women who accept violence in relationships

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Director of the Bureau of Gender Affairs Rosie Brown has expressed concern that Dominican women are willingly accepting violence in their relationships.

Speaking at a press conference recently, Brown made a plea for this trend of thought to be stopped.

“Our women, we are concerned about you. We know that you endure a lot but we are concerned that you are agreeing and are willing to support, to condone, by your acceptance of crime. We need today to call on you to desist from that action, that activity notwithstanding your economic situation,” Brown said.

“But here it is again we want to call on all those who have the ability… to support and provide the necessary resources… to assist in really changing the trend of things in this beautiful nature isle,” she stated.

She was speaking at the launch of a16 Days of Activism program to end gender-based violence in Dominica. Activities under this program will run from November 25 to December 10,2010.

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21 Comments

  1. July 23, 2015

    Theses comments were posted in 2010 and little has changed since them.

    Children who grow up in homes where parents do not exemplify love and respect for each other, who shout and scream at each other, and where there are outbreaks of physical violence, are in danger of adopting this behavior and carrying it over into their adult lives, and many do.

    What causes this lack of respect between a husband and wife? It is embarrassing to admit. Frequently it was not lost because it was never there. Couples violate God’s moral code during their courtship by committing fornication. Many lived together before they were married. Some simply “shacked up” and started raising a family without the benefits of marriage. These kind of “relationships” spawn violence.

    Pastoral counselling should be available to couples who are in this trap. Temporary residences should be available for abused women until they can sort out their lives.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist.

  2. Mo
    November 30, 2010
    • mouth of the south
      November 30, 2010

      never do that again,,,u jus let me waste 5 mins n 27 secs of my life n u cannot give it to me back,,,,i doh get the message in the vid,,,,power power power,,,,dat u wanted us to watch dere

  3. Mo
    November 30, 2010

    Domestic violence is an escalating partern of 1 person having power & control over another in an existing or past relationship through verbal, emotional, financial, sexual and physical abuse. Dominican artist Ras Mo performs a song defining domestic violence.

  4. FED UP DOMINICAN
    November 29, 2010

    Domestic violence of any kind to any gender is wrong.

    Yes there are women who believe that it is OK to be used as a punch bag, and yes they do somehow think that the man loves them and that is one of the way in which he can show it. Yes there are men who are beaten by their women and the trend is for the man to never admit it for fear of being laughed at or seen as weak.

    I have heard many women and men say that it happened with their parents, so they grow up thinking that it is the norm.

    There will always be men who think that their women are there property. There will always be women who are fighters and feel that they have to show the man who is boss. There will always be women who put materialistic things first, and as long as the man brings them gifts, puts a roof over their heads all is well. There will always be men who feel that they cannot do better or are to lazy to start a new relarionship. There will always be those who feel that any relationship is better than none.

    At the end of it all, we have to learn to respect ourselves and others. We have to learn that we are special and that we do not deserve or need that kind of relationship.

  5. yep
    November 29, 2010

    well shy shouldn’t they accept it. we are all used to getting punched by our fathers and mothers. beatten like there is no tomorow. we are accustomed to violence.

    try putting an end to that type of violence first.

    • Lizavier4Jesus
      November 29, 2010

      That is what I said before. We are the most vulnerable people when we are children. But the majority of us were not even able to say one word, back to our parents in defense against their judgment on us, otherwise we would end up with all our teeth broken. But we had no one to protect us from this kind of abuse. Strangers could report to our parents against us, and we would be faced with a painful beating. Hence we grow up to accept the same from either of our spouse or partner. Always, always, an abusive person comes from an abusive parents. And the child who simply accept abuse in his/her childhood, will also accept it as an adult.

      If men and women should not beat on their spouse, because they are not happy with the conduct or attitude he/she displays, how much more is a child ignorant of doing something wrong. But we as parents spare them no mercy. If we are going to deal with physical abuse in the home, we cannot ignore the fact that children are the weakest people and they are faced with that same situation. After all, they have feelings as well.

  6. MRS JOHN
    November 29, 2010

    I AGREE WITH MOUTH OF THE SOUTH, A MAKE UP AFTER A FIGHT IS GOOD, BUT I WOULD NOT CONDONE THE GENDER ABUSE,IT IS NOT A NICE THING ESPECIALLY IF A CHILD IS NVOLVED, SO IT IS A GOOD THING TO ENFORCE SOME KIND OF STRUCTURE IN DOMINICA WHERE THAT IS CONCERNED.

    • mouth of the south
      November 29, 2010

      well it seems those educated ones are far from the experiences of the neighborhoods so they’ll say i’m perverted to think such things go on,,,,but like i say b4 i’ll keep it real

  7. southeast...............
    November 29, 2010

    @ mouth of the south………………….

    geezzzz ur comment couldn’t be more stupid.

    After a man beat on u even thinking of “letting him go downtown”? sex should not even be in ur damn head

    • mouth of the south
      November 29, 2010

      dats dah reality hate it or love it,,,,the women never tell dere frenz dat jus go on,,,,all they say he n i had a fight last night,,,but neva tell dere fren wat happen after,,,,understand women who stay in abusive relationships thinks that love(sex as they interprete) means that the man deep inside is in love with them,,,,so man know that,,,,and after a fight men initiate sex,,,,,i doh know where allu raise,,,but i raise in the ghetto so i know wat go on,,,,u hearing bloh dow bloh dow,,,jus wait later around 11:30 for u 2 hear woman moaning lol!!!!!

  8. Jayne
    November 29, 2010

    I have a friend who’s in an abusive relationship for almost 10 years. The man treats her like crap and he thinks she’s a modern day punching bag. We (her family and friends) have tried numerous times to get her out but she keeps going back to the two-bit fool. She’s well educated and has a good job yet she stays with him and have the nurves to say “if he don’t beat me; he don’t love me”. Women we have to stop taking this sort of abuse from these men. If he loves you then why is he treating you worse than his dog? We need to educate our young men and women about the dangers of abusive. I was in a reationship where no physical abuse took place but there was a lot of verbal abuse and my ex thought it was alright for him to have two or more girlfriends. My faith in my God and my family was all I needed so I dumped that zero and is working on taking care of me. Young women I know it’s not easy especially when we’ve devoted our selves to these men and love these men but we have to ask ourself one question. Should love hurt so much? I’m here to tell you it shouldn’t.

  9. simple mind
    November 29, 2010

    Ms Browne! Ms Browne, tell us does the word gender refer only to women?how do you consider a woman who gives her husband ,a kul shofete behind his head n move 2 miles away to sleep with another man.please tell us under which haeding to put this one.

  10. sarah
    November 29, 2010

    I was in a relationship with a guy and we would fight tete a tete, but it was wrong and it was hurting my child. The man had an outside woman, he beat her up, almost killed her this ended in the courts and she feared for her life she had to change all the locks to her home and called his brothers to say how she was so scared. She went to court and said how the lawyer made her feel like a dirty rag. The man never admitted this to me, but I just couldn’t forget that and felt that maybe tomorrow would be mine because he seem to be a wicked person to me. Later he and the woman went back together and so I left the relationship. Because either he or I would be dead. But you can say what you want about violence unless you the woman have a high self esteem and know what is love you will forever go back to a man or a woman who have abused you. Again the abuser wants to feel that he/she is right so they will do every thing in there power to make you return to the relationship. Women love yourself and so you will know what is love when you get it.

  11. mouth of the south
    November 29, 2010

    how come is white people dat in the pic nah lol,,,most ladies don’t report cuz of different reasons we have read or heard of b4,,,some are scared,,,the man is the bread earner etc etc,,,,but the main reason they not telling allu is dat,,,,after a fight is the time they have the best sex,,,,yes i type it,,,is the truth,,,,man know woman weakness u know,,,,,after a fight is the best time to treat her right,,,,she’ll love u more for it,,,,,once u go downtown on her papa met,,,,she’ll forget all about the fight n then fight 4 u if another woman cum in d picture

    • bunny
      November 29, 2010

      i dont knopw what kind of women you are dealing with or have dealth with in the past, but that sort of nonsense does not define me or the omen i know.

      • mouth of the south
        November 29, 2010

        bravo to u babes,,,u speak 4 urself,,,,i cannot knock dat but to try n refute that claim then u obviously haven’t been exposed to what goes on in the neighbour hoods,,,,u maybe have a good lil job getting ur cheque every fortnight n in a stable relationship

    • Observation
      November 29, 2010

      @mouth of the south……….there you go AGAIN with that USELESS mouth of yours! I believe you’re strongly seeking some sort of attention. If you’re that bored……and it sounds like you are, then do some construcive reading, learn a trade, get a job, sing a song, exercise!!! Your pathetic, denegrading, disrespectful comment was not only inappropriate but it was insensitive, distasteful and dispicable!!! I believe the readers will emphatically agree that you sound like a perverted FOOL!

      • mouth of the south
        November 29, 2010

        some one needs some good times i see,,,,please don’t be too harsh,,,don’t even bother with mouth of the south,,,,i’m a fun individual who don’t get uptight on certain things,,,why be sad when i can be happy,,,,why make ur comment spoil my day lol,,,i don’t dwell on that,,,,the funny thing is i’ve done all what u advised,,,yeah i sing too,,what else u got for me to do,,,,i love challenges

    • Lizavier4Jesus
      November 29, 2010

      mouth of the south

      I do not think that you are a perverted fool. I think that you have a great sense of humor, which some of us do not notice. But then, a lot of people are so wrapped in their existence of vanity, they do not even know how to laugh; but “laughter is the best medicine.” Of course this the wisdom of our great King Solomon.

      The thing you mentioned about sex and the abused woman who do not report her spousal abuse, I had that same observation in my mind. I have heard women say they like it when their men beat them, because of that same reason. You did not speak about every woman, but both of your observations are a true, even if some people are not aware of it. Thank you for making me laugh. But even if you speak nonsense, which you rarely do, it would not bother me either. After all, it is not my reputation that you are breaking down, so why bother bawl about it?

      Also some women do not report abuse because they simply accept it as a way their husband corrects them, just like children accept a beating from their parents as a way of correction. Let us not forget that those women or children, who may be the victim, have also gotten used to being around, or may even love their abuser–whether it be husband or parents. Love is the reason many people, man woman, or child endure the abusive conducts and attitude of their loves ones. Informing authority will result in separation or division of a home, which is something many of them do not want.

      In Canada, if a parents beats his/her child, that child is allowed to call the police and they can arrest that parents for child abuse. Strangers or outsiders can report it, if they notice a child is being abused by his/her parents and those parents can end up in hot water. But those victims often end up becoming separated from the people they truly love, which is even more tormenting than a beating once in a while.

      A man with a deep African heritage believes that he has the right to beat his wife, if he is not satisfied with her conduct or attitude, the wife also thinks that her husband has the right to punish her through a beating. I do not condone to physical abuse, but I also know that we are not going to make people happy, if we force them to report situations in their homes, that might only make Life more uncomfortable for them.

      Someone might say that I am not helping, but most of the time we do not allow God to show us the way, that is the reason we are faced with so much social conflict and contention in this world. God can do His work through us for the sake of peace and harmony in our lives.

  12. Looking in from the outside
    November 29, 2010

    Gender?
    Is Ms Browne Director of gender Bereau? Her statement sounds more like someone who holds the position of Director of Women Bereau.
    Couldn’t it be more diplomatic in keeping with her position.I don’t know but if see also represents men just maybe a man could think twice given the tone of her statement and just the statement itself.
    If we are talking gender i am certain that Ms Browne and her department are aware of men who are being abused and taken advantage of by women.
    I am happy for the name change but someone needs to remind the Director of what was the intention behind the change of the name,department, and she and others should try harder at getting rid of this feminine mentality.

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