My Passion is ….

A Song

the song of my heart

yearning for fulfillment

clutching the blossoms of its flowers like a child

nurtured on mangoes, cassava, and wild berries

suckling honey from the fragrant combs

fought valiantly from frenzied fighting bees!

Proud with such determination we strode the kindred earth

dipping our innocent toes into chilly streams of melting mountain dew!

 

Oh my Heart …..

in this land, this Paradise to the North

where patience blest, the wanderer found in silence

the soufliers haunted furlong to the ancient wind –

and there, dark chill nights gave birth to fragrant breaths

of patchouli, myrrh, thyme and sweet woody tones of cinnamon –

the clove trees essence filled the budding grove

with healthy draughts of airy wine

and in the corner of the cow stand

crushed tons of lime skin, hot and fetid on the summer’s air,

sent shivers slicing through the feeding calves;

outside the women heaped the grapefruit high

into sooty guava scented pots burned black,

then added mounds of peppers, molasses, citronelle

and subtle notes of bay –

what with the mountains breeze

the moon-swept grass

the twittering of the feeding bats

our tickled nostrils boiled with mirth

we innocent children of the oceans spray

and our golden laughter touched the mountains side,

echoes of a brilliant comic hue …..

…… the stewing reached its apex at the dusk

where in the dark seal of the fragrant cocoa stand

the branches thrashed in organic spasms to our Mother Earth …

 

Then said the mother …..

Oh my beloved child

Behold this secret of your ancient birth;

the fragrant sun hurtles forth on Heaven’s Breath,

melted in a gentle field  of flowers –

the moon beats her silvery locks

upon the sunburnt forge

tingling, tiny petals shower on the Ancient path

and there,

resting in the steely cosmic grip of the eternal solar flame

at Earth’s End, this timeless reality

beyond the glimmer of our mental eye –

I cognized, from deep within my silent heart

a vast and sacred field of flowers that reigns supreme ….

 

Oh Lord of the perfumed fields

In this my humble plea – my hands outstretched –

my forehead arched –

my fingers gentle on the lamp –

restless with your thrilling powers

what will your future children say?

 

…. the sun’s rays glimmered in his sharpened teeth

and striking swiftly, he pierced the treasure in the naked I

ignorant, the earth recoiled in terror –

and that night –

that great night –

her learned souls fled shrieking faintly

from the cosmic lash

like great rivers in their flood,

like a swollen sea churned –

the monsoon burst its boundaries

and ashes formed a Luna veil –

… my forehead hot in fever high

I turned and twisted on the midnight bed

and that great night

I saw the sun behind the sun

the cloud behind the clouds

the rain celestial!

… my gaze fell downwards ….

as if so directed …

my heart unfolded in  a prayer

and moving swiftly I pierced

the navel of this Ancient Earth

In a sudden stream of sattvic snow.

 

Listen, oh my friends!

Listen!

As fishes crave the oceans roar,

The sun-filled surf,

The foamy wash between the mossy stones,

So surged this life between the tides

Upon that summer’s pool ……

 

….. moved by threatened chills of silt

The midnight sun spared darkness from this Ancient Land

But what cruel spell was this –

binding Art and Craft

life and death

joy and sorrow – as one?

What knotted time was tested –

this tangled fabric of our ancient lives laid bare-

like dice, casually flung upon the wintered sands

like fortune –

–        in a day shot broke –

here in this secluded portion of our world

the grass glows brightly greener

and Earth gives shelter to her calves

between her ancient streams of fodder …

 

Then said the Mother

…Oh now hush my Love …

This fragrant breath,

This divine sweetness of the nose

as in the season of our times

will let an ancient self shine forth

a new reign fit for men!

 

…. the ancient tongue came slowly to a swollen mouth

I chewed crushed canes, tamarinds, and turmeric

sprinkled with bitter herbs, rasayanas ground upon the stones

I thrust into the fire sacred bread

And the roaring flames incinerated in that moment

the calcined dust,

the shrewd, the sharp, the piercing;

the mantras spoke;

charged with power, they plucked my germs

freed my body, let loose a sound …….

…. my heart cried fiercely to the tearing wind …

As moment changed to moment

And I saw the pit, shining in the intense darkness,

Glowing with a divine radiance,

Startled,

I checked every leaf

Every fern

Every flower

I climbed every mountain

every hill

every valley

I spoke to ants,

cows,

butterflies and bumble-bees

why even my faithful doggy carried tall tales home –

Said he had only heard this sound

A wagging tail

A mention –

 

…… the moments second seemed to cut

like sand, exploding in the deserts blast –

my fervour deepened like a fever in a chilly pit

my passion shivered as my heart exploded in its cave

and suddenly life seemed bleak and wasted …..

thinned,

and spread across the rocks…….

 

Oh, my heart!

when walls separate –

when fingers cannot touch –

when notes written are unanswered

must flowers fall from their lifeless fingers

to this a stony ground?

… I determined there and then that failing in this quest

I’d let go

separate

surrender everything I owned

loose my ties

cut my feelings

close my eyes

and men would view me as one dead

I’d let my slice of Earth slip forth

my winds flap faintly dead

my talons scratched lightly on the love-birds perch

for mortal sleep, like death

lies dark and dreamless ….

…like rotting logs scattered on the mossy ground –

like stones sinking in the bog   …..

 

Outside

the sea heaved with all this talk

yawned,

curled its tiny toes

and catlike stretched out upon the vast expanse

of blackened volcanic sand ..

deep down

within its amber depths

it knew it’s time was coming soon,

a portal of the age ……

 

So tell me now, oh Mother of This Universe;

when, in the vast internal fields of self

brushed petals blossom into being

and mankind drinks his fragrant ale

this nectar of the vale –

what then will your children say

what fate the Solar Dynasty to hold?

But what seals our fate?

Who can declare?

And who can confirm?

 

Anthony Leo E. Toulon

October 2012

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