My Passion is ….
A Song
the song of my heart
yearning for fulfillment
clutching the blossoms of its flowers like a child
nurtured on mangoes, cassava, and wild berries
suckling honey from the fragrant combs
fought valiantly from frenzied fighting bees!
Proud with such determination we strode the kindred earth
dipping our innocent toes into chilly streams of melting mountain dew!
Oh my Heart …..
in this land, this Paradise to the North
where patience blest, the wanderer found in silence
the soufliers haunted furlong to the ancient wind –
and there, dark chill nights gave birth to fragrant breaths
of patchouli, myrrh, thyme and sweet woody tones of cinnamon –
the clove trees essence filled the budding grove
with healthy draughts of airy wine
and in the corner of the cow stand
crushed tons of lime skin, hot and fetid on the summer’s air,
sent shivers slicing through the feeding calves;
outside the women heaped the grapefruit high
into sooty guava scented pots burned black,
then added mounds of peppers, molasses, citronelle
and subtle notes of bay –
what with the mountains breeze
the moon-swept grass
the twittering of the feeding bats
our tickled nostrils boiled with mirth
we innocent children of the oceans spray
and our golden laughter touched the mountains side,
echoes of a brilliant comic hue …..
…… the stewing reached its apex at the dusk
where in the dark seal of the fragrant cocoa stand
the branches thrashed in organic spasms to our Mother Earth …
Then said the mother …..
Oh my beloved child
Behold this secret of your ancient birth;
the fragrant sun hurtles forth on Heaven’s Breath,
melted in a gentle field of flowers –
the moon beats her silvery locks
upon the sunburnt forge
tingling, tiny petals shower on the Ancient path
and there,
resting in the steely cosmic grip of the eternal solar flame
at Earth’s End, this timeless reality
beyond the glimmer of our mental eye –
I cognized, from deep within my silent heart
a vast and sacred field of flowers that reigns supreme ….
Oh Lord of the perfumed fields
In this my humble plea – my hands outstretched –
my forehead arched –
my fingers gentle on the lamp –
restless with your thrilling powers
what will your future children say?
…. the sun’s rays glimmered in his sharpened teeth
and striking swiftly, he pierced the treasure in the naked I
ignorant, the earth recoiled in terror –
and that night –
that great night –
her learned souls fled shrieking faintly
from the cosmic lash
like great rivers in their flood,
like a swollen sea churned –
the monsoon burst its boundaries
and ashes formed a Luna veil –
… my forehead hot in fever high
I turned and twisted on the midnight bed
and that great night
I saw the sun behind the sun
the cloud behind the clouds
the rain celestial!
… my gaze fell downwards ….
as if so directed …
my heart unfolded in a prayer
and moving swiftly I pierced
the navel of this Ancient Earth
In a sudden stream of sattvic snow.
Listen, oh my friends!
Listen!
As fishes crave the oceans roar,
The sun-filled surf,
The foamy wash between the mossy stones,
So surged this life between the tides
Upon that summer’s pool ……
….. moved by threatened chills of silt
The midnight sun spared darkness from this Ancient Land
But what cruel spell was this –
binding Art and Craft
life and death
joy and sorrow – as one?
What knotted time was tested –
this tangled fabric of our ancient lives laid bare-
like dice, casually flung upon the wintered sands
like fortune –
– in a day shot broke –
here in this secluded portion of our world
the grass glows brightly greener
and Earth gives shelter to her calves
between her ancient streams of fodder …
Then said the Mother
…Oh now hush my Love …
This fragrant breath,
This divine sweetness of the nose
as in the season of our times
will let an ancient self shine forth
a new reign fit for men!
…. the ancient tongue came slowly to a swollen mouth …
I chewed crushed canes, tamarinds, and turmeric
sprinkled with bitter herbs, rasayanas ground upon the stones
I thrust into the fire sacred bread
And the roaring flames incinerated in that moment
the calcined dust,
the shrewd, the sharp, the piercing;
the mantras spoke;
charged with power, they plucked my germs
freed my body, let loose a sound …….
…. my heart cried fiercely to the tearing wind …
As moment changed to moment
And I saw the pit, shining in the intense darkness,
Glowing with a divine radiance,
Startled,
I checked every leaf
Every fern
Every flower
I climbed every mountain
every hill
every valley
I spoke to ants,
cows,
butterflies and bumble-bees
why even my faithful doggy carried tall tales home –
Said he had only heard this sound
A wagging tail
A mention –
…… the moments second seemed to cut
like sand, exploding in the deserts blast –
my fervour deepened like a fever in a chilly pit
my passion shivered as my heart exploded in its cave
and suddenly life seemed bleak and wasted …..
thinned,
and spread across the rocks…….
Oh, my heart!
when walls separate –
when fingers cannot touch –
when notes written are unanswered
must flowers fall from their lifeless fingers
to this a stony ground?
… I determined there and then that failing in this quest
I’d let go
separate
surrender everything I owned
loose my ties
cut my feelings
close my eyes
and men would view me as one dead
I’d let my slice of Earth slip forth
my winds flap faintly dead
my talons scratched lightly on the love-birds perch
for mortal sleep, like death
lies dark and dreamless ….
…like rotting logs scattered on the mossy ground –
like stones sinking in the bog …..
Outside
the sea heaved with all this talk
yawned,
curled its tiny toes
and catlike stretched out upon the vast expanse
of blackened volcanic sand ..
deep down
within its amber depths
it knew it’s time was coming soon,
a portal of the age ……
So tell me now, oh Mother of This Universe;
when, in the vast internal fields of self
brushed petals blossom into being
and mankind drinks his fragrant ale
this nectar of the vale –
what then will your children say
what fate the Solar Dynasty to hold?
But what seals our fate?
Who can declare?
And who can confirm?
Anthony Leo E. Toulon
October 2012
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