DEAR BELLA: I am taking his wife to court for child support

Dear BellaDear Bella,

This is the first time I am writing, please do not show my name.

For some years I have been dating this guy who I am madly in love with. I knew he was married but I didn’t care and he didn’t care either.

Last year I got pregnant and he was there for me during the whole pregnancy.

I wanted him to tell his wife, so we could be together but he kept it a secret from her. I went to his wife’s workplace myself to tell her I am pregnant. I was seven months pregnant at that time and her coworkers held her back from fighting with me. I did not know why she was mad at me and not her husband.

He then moved in with me for a couple of months and the baby was born but his wife took him back just to take revenge against me.

He promised her never to touch me again and take care of his child but we were still seeing each other and sleeping together.

Now some months ago, he was sentenced to three years in prison. I don’t have no father to take care of the baby. So I thought that since his wife wanted to stay married to him, then it is her responsibility to support the baby while he is away.

She is acting ignorant but she is forgetting that she is his wife and it is her responsibility to support the child while he is away.

I am currently taking her to court for child support. I gave her the responsibility to co-parent and just help me but I cannot deal with her attitude.

Now, this is going to court.

Am I doing the right thing?

I want your opinion.

Lost

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Lost,

You are simply brazen.

First things first. Did you not care whether he was married? Why do now care about all the issues that have now been tagged to your affair?

Secondly, a man’s wife cannot take him back. She has all the right in the world to be with her husband.

Thirdly, you still speak like what you’ve done was right and this obstinate attitude is scary. I am not even going to address the fact that you went to this woman’s workplace. I think you were trying to sabotage the marriage but the tables have now turned on you.

And now to claim for child support from the woman is not only outrageous but totally dreadful.

Furthermore, to add insult to injury you are now taking the woman to court and she must pay for a crime that you and her husband committed.

If you want my advice -which is what you are seeking- I suggest you leave this woman alone and take care of your child until daddy is released from jail.
I think this wife endured enough by just having to deal with this entire situation.

Best
Bella

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83 Comments

  1. Bill Clinton
    February 7, 2018

    Are you mad, Emma ??? I am totally speechless

  2. Bella B
    April 17, 2017

    I couldnt hold up on the laughter :lol: :lol: because sa cest commess… I find these girls these days bold… and these so-called housebands loosebands has no respect.

    Bella i am glad the way you responded. But i will tell you this!!! Check your men before you check a thot because it takes two hands to clap!!!!!

    DIVORCE!! ALIMONY!! ALL ASSETS ON FLEEK!!! after all your hard work as a wife this is what your man brings home? babies? diseases? uh huh ohk…gets to stepping…. life’s too short to deal with unnecessary crap

    WOMEN PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR MEN!!! BELIEVE IN YOUR INSTINCT …. protect your coco!!!

  3. Alepie
    April 16, 2017

    Woman you are dead wrong all around and the sad thing is you don’t even know it. You have to be crazy to not care if the man is married. And brazenly stupid, I may get add, not knowing why the wife is mad at you and thinking she is responsible for your sins. And to make things worst you have the balls to want to take the poor woman to court for child support. I think you are a mad, crazy bitch that belongs in jail with your child father. Please leave the poor woman (wife) alone. She has been too much tribulation already.

    • Denise May
      October 30, 2018

      Some ppl believe they are entitled. Some ppl see no wrong in their wrong doing long as it is in their favor. If she goes befoe the judge asking for child support from. the daddy’s she is ging to get laughed right of the court room. Make a bigger fool of herself.. Furthermore ,why would anyone want to be in a relationship with that man? He lies and a cheater. Have some self respect and both of you dump him and move on to better.

  4. Mrs Maury
    April 11, 2017

    Dear Lost

    You done lost your damn mind the woman should have tear up your behind you went to the woman’s workplace ????? to taunt her now you want to take her to court for child support? Lets take a paternity
    test. Then he went back to his wife “she took him back from you for revenge? you sound stupid like the man is a piece of property. I wonder what he went to jail for ? Karma in his behind may he rot in jail because he does not deserve the wife he has. Don’t worry little girl you will get yours….

  5. Jc
    April 10, 2017

    That is why the wife should have divorced him and not take him back. Now she might actually have to support a child that isn’t hers. Let the men go along with whomever they want and find someone better.

  6. tightness
    April 6, 2017

    That was so tight that the guy had no other choice but to squeeze all of the juice of the cane in her

  7. Seeking tightness is a man's nature
    April 6, 2017

    Was it his wife who had sex with you and impregnated you or was it the husband who is presently in jail? Leave the man wife alone. You knew he was married yet you choose to have an affair with him, now look at the consequences, you can’t involve them shotta’s wife. I don’t blame the guy. I can only imagine the how tight it was the guy couldn’t control his self, he no choice but to squeeze out all th juice from his cane in you.

  8. Ideal
    April 6, 2017

    Is this story for real? But then again in this crazy world and what is happening she might win her case.

  9. Peace
    April 6, 2017

    I don’t believe this story for one minute … but then again, I am at the age where I am “out of touch”.

    But it does spark a good conversation. Is sleeping with people’s husband not normative behaviour for us here in Dominica? Lost is … well, a lost cause but pause for a second and reflect on the what is really happening as opposed to how we idealize it. Parents, friend, society … we have all condoned it. We preach morality but as a nation we are immoral; and before attacking me, again think about it. The question is, what kind of nation do we want to be and how do we get there. And no!! We can’t stone adulterers to death.

  10. Proud Dominican
    April 6, 2017

    Is this for real? This woman is wicked to herself. While she was enjoying her ” doucement” she never thought of the implications? Woman go and work to support your illegitimate child while you wait on your imprisoned man whom the wife has all her right to reject.

    I don’t mean to sound heartless but this sort of behavior where married people (both man and woman) seem to feel or think it is ok to just roam all over the place and have extra marital affairs, is to rampant now.

    Proud Dominican

  11. 1979
    April 6, 2017

    LOL….some of your ladies posting here sound so …. I don\’t even know if there is a word for it…
    married or not your going to get treated the way you deserve… if ur a warmonger…he will seek peace elsewhere, you a sex fiend, he will find someone he can just chill and sit and share a connection with, your love your acrylic don\’t like to cook and wash… guess what?! he will get a chick with short nails. your friends always up in allu personal space.. he will find somewhere he can have his privacy and solitude…now…..this my friends works both ways…its not a MAN, WOMAN, HUSBAND or WIFE thing….Its a human thing…respect for respect….and if you can\’t show good charachter in small things….you definately wont show it in the big stuff..

    so lets put away the hypocrisy

    • Me
      April 6, 2017

      It’s not about hypocrisy. The topic is about some crazy wanting to take an unfaithful man’s wife to court for child support. It’s not my business what happened behind the closed doors of whomever…but there is no way on this earth a wife should be taken to court for child support for someone elses child. She is not obligated to anyone

    • UDOHREADYET
      May 2, 2017

      @1979 Well said!… most people can’t see themselves nor effects of their actions.

  12. 1979
    April 6, 2017

    LOL….some of your ladies posting here sound so …. I don’t even know if there is a word for it…
    married or not your going to get treated the way you deserve… if ur a warmonger…he will seek peace elsewhere, you a sex fiend, he will find someone he can just chill and sit and share a connection with, your love your acrylic don’t like to cook and wash… guess what?! he will get a chick with short nails. your friends always up in allu personal space.. he will find somewhere he can have his privacy and solitude…now…..this my friends works both ways…its not a MAN, WOMAN, HUSBAND or WIFE thing….Its a human thing…respect for respect….and if you can’t show good charachter in small things….you definately wont show it in the big stuff..

    so lets put away the hypocrisy

  13. vanessa
    April 6, 2017

    vERY gOOD RESPONSE , BELLA

  14. hahaha
    April 6, 2017

    In your Mordineee!!!

  15. hahaha
    April 6, 2017

    hahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhaahhaah….Wooooosssshhhhhhhh. Ehbeh look it… hahaha Bella aa.. Girl get a life and a man of your own. I believe that story self. It really does happen. Now you get what you had to. Don’t destroy what God built. The wife should have gotten police in your bottom for coming to her workplace and having your stupid self. You’re just humiliating yourself trust me. You did right asking bella to not make your name show wi although it would always be anonymous because people would just laugh you. smh stupid girls. So sorry for this innocent baby. Sorry it had to be under this. Go get a job that will do you better. Wifey you deserve better. This lil girl ain’t got nothing on you.

  16. April 6, 2017

    Dear Lost, not only are you lost, you are a whore! A side line whore. I find you well RUDE and COMPAHRATION/COHPAWAZON! That wife who has been tolerating you for so long, should, finally, grab you by your throat and only release when you stop breathing. I do not condone violence, but this time, I do believe you deserve it. You slept with the loser who you Both share and now you want her hard earned money? Come play with my life like this and see how you’d end up. Lost Loser!

  17. Fun&Frolic
    April 5, 2017

    Bella either needs to stop scripting letters or rename her column as “The Fiction Corner”.

  18. UDOHREADYET
    April 5, 2017

    I hope these unmarried men see this.. don’t get married to nor have children with someone you are not willing to stay with and most importantly never have children with nor marry an uneducated woman!
    an vice versa for the women!!

  19. Isyoumad?
    April 5, 2017

    Issa joke you making? The wife that give you child man? No please. …

  20. Shameless
    April 5, 2017

    Girl behave yourself eh! When the pipe water was sweet you wanted to drink it all leaving none for the madam. Matter of fact you drank so much glo-coco-de-la pip that you full your belly with a baby. You went and try instigating the man wife so take what you get and leave the man wife alone. Grown folks make grown decisions and you made a conscious decision even when you knew the man was married.

    In my worldly opinion nothing wrong with that because you both are consenting adults. So, take your grinds and leave the woman alone. If you need help consult the plumber next door to see if he can lay some fresh pipe and help with the bills while the criminal serves his time. Hopefully he will still be interested in “women” when he gets of of the men’s institution where dropping a soap and trying to retrieve it can be a life changing experience :mrgreen: .

    Assertive like the rod of Moses! :twisted:

  21. Sweetv
    April 5, 2017

    I know of a situation where the husband was unable to pay child support and the baby mother went after the wife. Guess what she won and is receiving child support. I also know that you can go for child support from your ex-boyfriend for a child who is not his as long as he was taking care of the child as his own while he was in a relationship with the child’s mother. Don’t be too surprised if she wins. The law has many loop holes.

  22. April 5, 2017

    GIRL WAM TO YOU. ARE YOU WICKED OR YOU JUST STUPID

    • April 6, 2017

      Obviously both!

      But she is a human being loved by God.

      Because Christ died for sinners she can be forgiven. Added to that is the fact that her mind can be healed and her entire personality can be transformed. If she will believe Jesus Christ bore her punishment on the cross at Calvary according to Isaiah 53:5,6 and receive HIM as her personal Savior according to John 1:12 she will be made a new person – yes, she will be a brand new creation – inside and out :!:

      *This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days SAITH THE LORD; I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; and their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.* (Hebrews 10:16,17)

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

      • dee
        April 6, 2017

        Rev you are a man of God
        Now tell me somefing , you dow fink God was watching her when she was giving de married man her fing , so how you know is not her punishment dat she plug now ?
        i suspeck she either plug deliberately or may even be another man chile dat she dow want mentioned .
        De Good Lord may be a forgiving Lord but he is also the most senior Judge passing judgement and punishment .

  23. Best Advice
    April 5, 2017

    Some of these married men have no honor. Your WIFE should be respected and cherished above all others and in all ways. She should be polished like a precious jewel, a reflection of your love and care. Your WIFE should be continuously intoxicated with fine wines, dark chocolates and pulsating orgasms. This married woman should be left in peace and should not be harassed for her husbands shortcomings.

  24. Me
    April 5, 2017

    This story is so funny, I forgot to laugh. I hope they arrest that woman (the home wrecker) and throw her asss in jail for ruining another woman’s marriage, if is court she wants to go to. The wife did not impregnate her. Some people are just too bold eh. And, whichever lawyer who decides to take on this case needs his/her license revoked

  25. April 5, 2017

    Ridiculous! Did she have a child by the wife, woman you are bold. You are reaping what you show. Go Put your head in the the dust. Idiot

  26. whatihearingthere
    April 5, 2017

    Sacway comparwayzhon! Well woman you DAMN BOLD AND OUT OF YOUR F……… PLACE!!!!!!! Are you a woman? How cruel can you be? The same damn way the wife getting up and go to work, get your self work to maintain your child. WHAT I HEARING THERE NUH? Femme ou mohdy!!!!! Take her to court for the judge to charge you for harassment, causing mental distress/pain. While many of us think she was wrong to take him back BUT that gives you no right to put that cheater/jailbird wife through more misery. SHAT MAN; leave the woman alone!!!!

  27. Wife.
    April 5, 2017

    If I were that wife you would not be there to write to Bella. Me and my husband would be in jail. WOMAN YOU TOO BOLD.

  28. Controller
    April 5, 2017

    Suck it to her Bella. She watch too much love and hip hop

    • Funny
      April 5, 2017

      ????

    • dee
      April 5, 2017

      Controller how can you tell Bella to suck it to her ?
      Don’t both you and Bella realize de day when she was getting her wood dat plug her, is de wife dat open her legs , that is why she now holding de wife responsible for maintaining de innocent chile .
      That child should be taken away from her because it will suffer innocently .

    • Bella B
      April 17, 2017

      borjai hahahhahahh that one hold me… i couldnt even read this article with a straight face…lmfao

  29. April 5, 2017

    she was wrong to be with the man because of him being married for true but she does have a right to take the wife to court for child support, and if she does the wife will have to take care of the child till the husband gets out of prison

    • April 5, 2017

      Sorry, you are wrong on this. The mistress does not have a right to take the wife to court for child support. She may be able to apply to the government for some form of welfare or social assistance. She could talk to a lawyer about what government support may be available for child support.

      However, if the mistress does take the wife to court the wife may be able to counter sue her for harassment, emotional distress, or alienation of affection. She would be wise to talk to a lawyer about what charge to lay. The charges I have mentioned may not be appropriate and I may be missing the proper charge.

      • April 6, 2017

        “alienation of affection?” from who? Her husband was busy sleeping with said whore so he had no time to show affection anyway. to make matters worse, he is now in jail. Tough situation for the wife.

    • Debbie Dingus
      April 5, 2017

      You must be her…that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. The mans wife has nothing to do with paying you anything but a ass beating! Go get a job take care of your own child. Stop sleeping with married men!!

    • Oh
      April 6, 2017

      Which law degree do you have? If they kids were born before they were married then the wife could be held responsible to a certain extent. But in this case, nope.

  30. dhestini
    April 5, 2017

    why did I read that with an African accent? :-D :-D :-D . probably cuz it sounds like a script straight off one of those african movies oi. lol. my girl, the wife is under no obligation to help u support ur child. if she does, its cuz she chooses too. u chose to seep with a married man. there r what u call contraceptives..condoms, pills, even morning after pills if it comes do that. leave d wife alone n deal with ur pikney

    • Papamet
      April 5, 2017

      Lolol I did too. This can’t be real. I don’t think it have woman that bold so.

  31. fren
    April 5, 2017

    if is me I maxing out my salary. loan and courts for one month before court date haha then return the stuff after

  32. Al benoit
    April 5, 2017

    Is this lady on drugs? you spread your legs take care of your damn child

  33. wallhouse
    April 5, 2017

    Bella u hv it to deal with. Sounds like someone i no.. This b has hv 2children and counting with this married and he leave her and meet his wife now.. And she still in his bottom, that in ……. and is hr at clearhar.. And he had how many of them here u no..

    • Sunshine
      April 6, 2017

      hahahahaha…..wallhouse you give it to me. I love it. I really do.

    • hr lady
      April 6, 2017

      Oh this one is a classic husband taker, this has no shame. Sleeping constantly with this married man, making kids for him.. She doh hv family to talk to her, smh. Clearharbour wrkers talk to ur hr lady. Tell her she need her own man and leave the person husband alone for god sake. These things happens so much here.. I would make u beg like a dog already on the road if it was my husband u were messing with.

  34. Micki
    April 5, 2017

    Woman u need blows.

  35. UDOHREADYET
    April 5, 2017

    madness pure madness! you pursued a married man!

    this a good example to men out there how most women think…

    they completely ignore the things they do and the effects of it on them and other people yet blame everyone else for the problems they create!

    this person is completely oblivious in her mind to her actions and doesn’t even have the mental maturity & capacity to understand the situation she created.

    no advice needed on this one the the world with put blows on you to learn the hard way!

  36. Shocked
    April 5, 2017

    If the wife was dumb or desperate enough to take a man who had a child with another woman she deserves all the misery that comes with it. After the wife put him out he moved in with th girlfriend so that was a sign that he had nk remorse for his actions. The wife took him back. Too funny. Now he in jail so he is a cheat and a criminal. I guess the wife didn’t know that he was a criminal either. I say take her to court and i hope the court decides in your favor.

  37. jihan
    April 5, 2017

    hm i dont know where in the US law you saw that,if the man in jail wife have not a damn thing to do with support,goole the babeball player Reyes and get your facts right,this woman is sick and she should have known better to get pregnant from am sure a drug dealer,the money got you into this,should have saved the drug money until he comes out,your a disgrace.

  38. lightbulb
    April 5, 2017

    I dont think there is a legal precedence, unless the man dies. then that is a different argument entirely.

  39. De Dread
    April 5, 2017

    My girl you have every right ” and the 2 shall become 1 ” so untill the woman divorce that man she should pay you child support, she well wrong to take him back, he clearly is a prize, he’s in prison for the next 3 years. Now Bella you have one hell of an imagination. I’ll commend you n that, you should become a show writer or even a movie writer.

  40. April 5, 2017

    This woman is not legally obligated to support the baby you had with her husband. (Unless the laws of your nation are seriously flawed.)

    It was her husband not her you had the baby with. He is liable not his wife. Did she consent to the relationship? Did she even know about the affair while it as going on?

    On the contrary she may be able to sue you for messing with her husband.

    You owe this lady a huge apology.

    Apart from this stay away from her. Keep away from her place of employment. You have caused her enough pain without hurting her work performance and causing her to lose her job.

    Here is the good news. If you will acknowledge your sins and surrender to God He will forgive you of all your sins. Yes, He will wipe the slate clean and give you a new beginning :!: You must believe Christ died for your sins, and receive Him as you Savior. Please read Romans 5:6-8, John 1:12, John 3:16, 1 John 1:7.

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  41. zandoli
    April 5, 2017

    Me Commess!!

    Bella you have patience my dear. I read this and all I could do was laugh.

    That guy must be a real keeper. :-x

  42. dayandnight vision
    April 5, 2017

    Way to go Bella. These women need to stay away from People’s husbands. Brazen is joke. Very shameless

  43. mary waner
    April 5, 2017

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: u going to take the wife to court?she made the baby with u na?bold women!

  44. Too Hard Too Long
    April 5, 2017

    The wife should sue her for harassment and mental distress.

  45. papa
    April 5, 2017

    Woman get a job and a life if is me uwould get a beating u would be scared of man when I done with u

  46. Fran
    April 5, 2017

    Lord, the nerve of this mistress. this can’t be for real. someone is making up stories. No one can be that vile and ignorant. The wife should turn around and sue you for alienation of affection. Both you and the loser sitting in jail. I feel sorry for the child to losers as parents.

  47. Dominican
    April 5, 2017

    I know that’s a joke!

  48. Young moula
    April 5, 2017

    I suspect people does make up stories and post it here. It’s almost unbelievable that Dominicans are so uneducated. Well in fact I shouldn’t be surprised, I see Dominicans blaming politicians for natural disasters.

    • April 5, 2017

      You have no idea who you are dealing with.Dominicans are the people who like gossip the most under the sky.whether that gossip sound like a fairy tale; too surreal to be true ; they will be it.Spread it,store it until they will find a new story again to spread .

  49. April 5, 2017

    What goes around comes around ten folds. I just hope is not a daughter you have, because you curse her from since conception.

  50. Kermit
    April 5, 2017

    But all you woman bold. I find you damn rude! The man wife owes you nothing, close your legs to married men.

  51. TINA
    April 5, 2017

    [email protected] Brazen. But that girl is Brazen for true. Truth be told i had to look up the meaning…it means “Bold and Without Shame” Look jokes on Bella.

  52. Chic
    April 5, 2017

    Excellent advise Bella! Some women too impossible. The wife should divorce him so he can come stay with you after prison term, you deserve him.

  53. Yuyu
    April 5, 2017

    Very good reply Bella

    • hm
      April 5, 2017

      She is really bold :lol: :lol: .. but all laughing matter aside. If this she was in the US, she would win. The courts are going after the wives paychecks to pay the outside women when the husbands cannot or refuse to pay. Sad but true. I think this person looked up US laws and decided she has a chance.. I hope she loose, not the wife fault the wretch of a husband cannot keep his sausage in his pants.

      • Dominican
        April 5, 2017

        Is that time I making obeah! Both she and baby in trouble with no remorse from me. Some people too bold take what you get. If this story is true you think you can just take somebody husband, and even want to take them to court? That would never pass like that if you want to live happy just leave the woman alone and act like you never knew her or her husband before you child start to scream in your belly.

      • LucLu
        April 5, 2017

        Really? I know in NYC you can’t. Baby mama tried it with my friend’s husband after he lost his job, it wasn’t and ‘outside child’ though. He had the child years before. However, the judge through out the case. Plus my friend was still helping and even though they had kids of their own. She felt it wasn’t enough, the judge told her by law the wife can’t be taken to court.

      • April 5, 2017

        I did not know this was the law in the USA. As far as I know it is not the case in Dominica.

        If it is the law in the USA it is another symptom of a sick nation, a nation in moral chaos.

        This means a married man can go out and impregnate another woman and if he skips off his wife is obligated to pay for it. Is a woman legally bound to pay a debt her husband owes if she did not consent to it? If she did not co-sign, she knew nothing about it, and her name is not on the contract, etc.? I do not know. That is why I am asking. If this is the case I can tell you it is unjust in the sight of God, and it is unfair and should be fought.

        If the man is unable to support his child the mother-to-be should realize she is equally to blame for a sinful affair and must bare the burden of child support. Hopefully she will be able to receive some government assistance or her family will rally around for the sake of the child.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill

      • budman
        April 5, 2017

        @hm. no she would not! stop spreading lies. there is no precedent in the US for this. google is your friend! make use of it.

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