DEAR BELLA: I asked my husband to leave over a woman he says is a friend

Dear Bella,

Tell me if some men are not something else. I live with my husband and our two-year-old son.

We have had our issues but managed, somehow, to get over them.  He has been unfaithful but for the sake of love, I forgive him. He has changed a lot from his roaming late-night and cheating ways.

But there is one thing.  He has a woman calling him every night very late at night.

I have spoken to him about it countless times and I have expressed my dissatisfaction and told him that he is disrespecting me, but he doesn’t agree.

He tells me he cannot tell his friends what time to call him!!!  And that it is HIS phone! He tells me I want to control him!

To add insult to injury, recently, when she called at about 10:30, we were already in bed, watching TV. He told her that he would call her back, obviously, because I was there.  At about 11 p.m., he left the bed, went outside to his car, made his call and stayed speaking to her for about 30 minutes!

I find that totally disgusting and yes, lack of respect for me and the relationship that I share with him.   Note, this is not the only time he has done it. He doesn’t want to ask the woman to stop.

I have concluded that she is more important to him than his own family. So, I have asked him to leave the house.

Do you believe it is a wise decision? 

Angry Wife

 


 

Dear Angry Wife,

You have every right to be concerned especially if your husband has the tendency to be unfaithful. When a person asks for forgiveness, they are supposed to change and not go back to the thing that caused them the error.

I am not saying that your husband is having an affair but more often than not, when a man hides phone calls or takes them outside, then it can become suspicious.

Your husband is supposed to put you before any other human being. And if his late-night phone calls are affecting your relationship, whether friends or not, he would have to make changes to make his wife comfortable.

Everybody needs friends and have friends but these late-night phone calls are disrespectful, to say the least.

Love is an action word. It is a verb and when men or women behave in such manner their partner questions that love.

Asking him to leave the house seems drastic, however, I have heard people say who is in the kitchen feels the heat.

You may also be driving him into the arms of his late-night caller. However, I have learnt that if someone loves you, nothing and no one will keep them away from you.

I am not saying that your husband doesn’t love you; I am saying that he needs to examine his actions and come to a determination about this marriage because surely it cannot continue like that.

Bella

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13 Comments

  1. Guadeloupe
    July 29, 2020

    It’s amazing how the wife came to the conclusion that it’s a woman that the husband was chatting to. With that kind of attitude maybe the husband can’t have a open conversation with his wife. Some time we find some friends that listens and gives us advices. Friends who look at life outside the box. That don’t mean they are having an affair. After 18 years of marriage, I can tell you, my wife can be extremely weird at times.

  2. Hirshey
    July 27, 2020

    The man may have told her that he lives alone or he has no one. So she felt confident in calling him late at nights. We don’t know the lies she is being told

  3. The Truth Be Told
    July 27, 2020

    Really serious. The world will not understand the love or agape – God’s love. The Lord takes the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. Wise as you all may be, it is not godly that the husband should take those late calls. The woman who is doing so it is a shame. But the husband allows it. He can stop it and have respect for his wife. Maybe what a carnal answer. Are u a man or woman. A man you must be macho and have no respect. A woman would u like this for you? I would not allow a woman to call at those times. There is a time and place for everything. She is a friend so why not respect the privacy of the man and wife. Now those women who believe that it is only in those ways that they are fulfilled. Get your self-esteem. If you want a man, look for yours and marriage is a committed and life long relationship. Remember and stop your games of breaking up relationship. Men toughen up. You must love and respect the wife just as Christ loved the church.

  4. Zandoli
    July 27, 2020

    The husband has learned the wife is a pushover who will put up with emotional abuse. Which woman who is worth her salt will put up with that foolishness?

    If the tables were turned, does anyone believe the husband would sit idly by and allow his wife’s boyfriend to call her at all hours of the night?

    Frankly I would not want to he married to a woman who allows herself to be disrespected in such a manner. The man has no respect for his wife and she keeps on taking it.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
  5. Kalinago
    July 27, 2020

    Yes, I definitely do. Some men need to learn the hard way. Also, some women need to respect people and their relationships. How can you allow a woman to call you late at night, and still saying is your phone.
    I would have broken your phone and lock you outside at the same time and more.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 2
  6. Fummy
    July 27, 2020

    All I am saying, TIT 4 TAT butter for fat…you do me I do you………. do fuss girl, do you, SILENCE is golden…

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 6
  7. Maybe
    July 27, 2020

    Lady get a life how you sure who the man was talking to do you know where the person leave to know the difference in time I think you should leave the house the man is not a child if you not happy leave

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 2 Thumb down 32
    • Frank N Stein
      July 27, 2020

      You sound like a sour sidechick. You looking for an upgrade? no upgrade for sidechicks just remain the spare tyre in peace

      Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 1
  8. Bwa-Banday
    July 27, 2020

    Ok, I agree that the woman calling is deliberate in her actions because she should know your hussy has a wife and that late call BS in totally unacceptable. Even if they are having and affair (I am not accusing now!!) she MUST know her place and stay there because she met the married situation in existence.

    Now, the mister need a bat across his head (not advocating violence :mrgreen: ). Friends, girl, man, boy, friend with benefits or whatever don’t disrespect another ones home even if you sharing the same pipe for water when thirsty or just to make a point. Hell No! My advise is for him to turn off the phone at nights early enough to be with his family if she can’t understand to STOP this AHasNESS! Some women can be very bold and he may have told her on several occasions but she is trying ti show who is boss! But, based on what you said I believe she is drinking from “your pipe” and wants to show off. Maybe, an arrangement for sharing can be made 8) 8) 8) …sharing is…

  9. Efficacious
    July 27, 2020

    Wife, most of the time people play soft and they call you stupid. Let us assumed I was that husband and a desperate woman calling my phone at that time of the night, would have placed the phone where my wife had access to it. My wife answered the phone and gave her a mouthful. If husband disagrees, you say well, I am going to divorce you on grounds of adultery and ask for maintenance. No ifs or buts.

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
  10. July 27, 2020

    Love is an action, it is a verb!

    Bella, you certainly is one who does not know God, if you claim that the Divine Character of His, which I know is Love, is a simple action word –a verb! Good heavens!

    Bella, your idea is one of the reasons the World is plagued with broken relationships and divorce; people use their fleshly emotions along with what you call “action” claiming it to be “Love” until the situation, as that letter to you, comes into play.

    Bella, there are all sorts of actions or service being rendered in this World on a day to day basis most of them are demonstrations without Love, so what do say they are?

    Bella, my lady, Love is the Spiritual Nature of the God of Spirit & Holiness. Love is the Cord that joins parents/children, friendship, and most of all, marriage to become One.

    When Love is the Spiritual Essence (cord) of a relationship, nothing, come what may, can interfere with that relationship, because it is unbreakable.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 3 Thumb down 16
    • Frank N Stein
      July 27, 2020

      Xavier you do not know God, Skerrit that is your god so move there. You have no man so you are in no position to talk. Go to the far left corner.

    • EIFILE
      July 27, 2020

      Bello was spot on correct. hey hey hey? you are in bed with a man, violent against each other, he rattles with the chap until he vomit inside of you and you call this love.

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