DEAR BELLA: My father may be cheating on my mom with one of my friends


I can’t get my father to stop flirting with my friends. It is embarrassing, humiliating and it makes me uncomfortable.
I am 19 and every now and then I would have friends over. The man would always want to hang around us…suddenly begins to roll out drinks and stuff.

At first it came off as a “cool” thing because my friends would say my dad is a “cool old man.” Anyway, a few weeks ago, I got wind that my dad was secretly paying the rent of one of my friends, giving her money and even bought her a new phone.

I noticed she always started ‘blinging’ and I know she has things hard. Never did I think my dad was secretly laying down with one of my best friends. Sigh.

Last week I decided to ask her a trick question…”so how does my daddy know your number?”
She frightened and replied, “he asked it to me when one time by you”

This was all I needed to hear. I am so ashamed. I feel bad for my mother and I want to kill my friend. How could she do this to me. I am thinking of telling mommy but I don’t want drama in this house. Should I talk to pops first?

Shamed Daughter



Hello Shamed Daughter,

No one who is truly a friend would come to your house and leave with your father in her back pocket and no honorable husband and father would humiliate his family in such a way.

You need to first have a more detailed conversation with your friend. Make sure that what you are insinuating is factual. That he is in fact in a romantic relationship with her. Once this is established, then you may want to put that friendship under review.

You need to also confront your dad about this matter. Let him know how you feel. How his extra marital affair with your friend is affecting you.

I know this is an uncomfortable conversation but it needs to be held.

As for informing mommy? Well, that would depend on the information you receive from the alleged culprits.

Let’s leave mom out of the equation for now.


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  1. Bwa-Banday
    June 8, 2021

    Let the man lay his pipe eh if that’s what makes him happy. The young lady is NOT underage, and whether you like it or not dad is a sackway-gwo-nom! Just maybe mom needs to step up her game and do her womanly duties so dad don’t stray. Matter of fact it may benefit mom to ask her husband for a threesome since the younger lady may be seeing her role as “helping” mom where she can no longer satisfactorily perform.

    On another note, mom may be well aware and wants to shield you from the “happenings” because she knows you will not approve. So, in the meantime keep your BIG mouth shut, buy some viagra for dad in order to ensure his performance is top notch and be happy he is happy so he don’t have to leave mom. If you make it public or let’s say push your nose where it does not belong then you may have nothing but regrets for the rest of your life. Life is too short to stand in the way of a happy senior PIPE-Layer. Dowasco and ALL its employees I am sure are applauding this dad.

  2. Bwa-Banday
    June 8, 2021

    “Adultery is a cardinal sin. The karma you will get may not fall on you, but your children will feel it. I know of a few women who elevated themselves through adultery and promiscuity, but they are not married, no man takes them seriously, their looks fading. Your father is to blame, so is your friend.”………all sin is sin IF you area christian. To non christian that done believe in the Bible that means nothing.

    You see, it chaps my royal a** when we try making some sins higher on an imaginary, NOT biblical scale when compared to others. Thats because of the way religious leaders try teaching the Bible. Bugga, Murder, Theft, FUNNICATION, Adultery, NOT keeping Sunday holy are all sins of the SAME magnitude , well except BUGGA because the Bible says it’s an abomination. Yet when a woman and a man partake in BUGGA with the woman at the receiving end its called “Advanced Sex” so no big deal. We even accept gay life style that is a sin but castigate adultery which is SAME as…

  3. If we knew better
    June 8, 2021

    First of all, your “friend” is a prostitute. And your father is a “John”. These days prostitution is the norm. Young women do not want to go to school or study hard. In many cases they going school and have job but they still want to get paid for sex. But they want to smell sweet and look good and like they are queens but they are involved in all kinds of disgusting behavior. We forget the 10 commandments or what? Adultery is a cardinal sin. The karma you will get may not fall on you, but your children will feel it. I know of a few women who elevated themselves through adultery and promiscuity, but they are not married, no man takes them seriously, their looks fading. Your father is to blame, so is your friend.

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