DEAR BELLA: My husband called me another woman’s name while we were being intimate

Dear BellaMy husband and I were being intimate and he called me someone else’s name. He called me Nadia. My name is very far from it.

I don’t know what to make of this. I suddenly stopped and asked him who was Nadia. He brushed me aside and continued as if I hadn’t said anything.
I never moved a muscle from underneath him and all I can hear in my head was that name. After he was done he told me he was so deeply engaged in our sexual relations he must have just mumbled something he didn’t mean or understood.

My husband never gave a reason to think he was seeing someone else but I cannot get behind that name NADIA.

Help me.

Wrong name

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Dear Wrong name,

You should not feel guilty of having these concerns. They are legitimate and any married woman should be extremely concerned if their husband refers to them as another while being intimate.

The bible says that marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Pray for your husband that he is not defiling the marriage bed as he could be severely judged by God.

If you feel your husband is being dishonest, you should probably refrain from sexual relations with him to preserve yourself from any STD’s that seem to be lingering around. In the meantime, pray without ceasing.

My husband told me just today that if a woman has to fight for her marriage then she has already lost. This means, if you have to engage in a carnal warfare for your husband you won’t win. However, you can fight the good fight of prayer and with that, there’s no losing.

Best

Bella

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52 Comments

  1. Nadia's sister
    January 31, 2017

    Sorry typo I meant her not he

  2. Nadia Sister
    January 31, 2017

    I used to get some half dead sex with an ex boyfriend of mine. Call me crazy if you want but I tried a tatic I had him sit down, asked him to forget all about me and think of someone he was dying to do it with,he did not have to tell me who it is but if he wants to scream out her name he has full permission to, just imagine its her, and I had a blast that night.

  3. Shameless
    January 29, 2017

    But but but Rev. Hill does not have work to do in his congregation man? Come on Rev go preach the gospel elsewhere man instead of macoing a blog 24/7. God bless u though?

    Always Assertive!?

  4. UDOHREADYET
    January 28, 2017

    If you’re thinking so much during sex, and not active (all from your description of the event) then thats an indication that the man have to imagine someone else because you not in it! You should surprise him and tell him to call you Nadia, call you sherry berry Mary and whatever (its you that getting it)… then start calling him mark and jack or whatever
    … end of story!

  5. January 28, 2017

    To REVEREND DONALD HILL & FUN AND FROLIC.
    This is the last thing I have to say on this topic.

    One person should not try to save a marriage, that one person should try to save their own well being. If a marriage is a burden, end it. A marriage has no intrinsic worth, it is a mutual agreement to create worth, and if the agreement cannot be upheld it must be ended. If any two people cannot bring out the best in each other, there is no point in them keeping company. A marriage should be structured at the beginning to provide for it’s easy ending, even when there are children. And divorce counseling for children should be provided through our welfare system, else we shall all be paying for the wreckage that damaged children do throughout their lives from perpetual unhappiness. The real problem is that almost nobody gets married as a result of critical thinking, but rather, as a result of romance, which is only a drug manufactured within our brains to hamper what our brains are for.

  6. January 28, 2017

    My wife call me Pappy, in the heat of passion.

  7. ATKINSON
    January 28, 2017

    must be a DLP man :mrgreen:

  8. I vex we
    January 27, 2017

    Yah, my man do me dat a time. Now I migrate and doh have no taste for his….

  9. January 27, 2017

    Donald Hill I find you like to cover up too much. I am a no nonsense Christian attending a Pentecostal Church and it hurts my heart to see Christians living immoral lives. There are adulterers, drunkards, fornicators, homosexuals just to name a few. These ppl occupy BIG positions in the churches and nothing is done to discipline them because the offering will be less. Right now the more members the more offering. Is to see them on the pulpit on Sunday morning wi.

  10. The Eel
    January 27, 2017

    End that childish talks and grow up! For a married couple this should have discussed at home and not on line news the girl wants out amen

  11. Tony
    January 27, 2017

    more Garbagr

  12. Me
    January 26, 2017

    Honestly, whilst having sex with my husband and he blurts out another woman’s name, I wouldn’t lay there quietly and let him enjoy himself fantacizing. He and his penis would not be on my body. I would toss him so fast off my body he would think I was being possessed or going crazy.

  13. HotBoy
    January 26, 2017

    Nadia come see this :lol: :lol: :lol:

  14. January 26, 2017

    And to all those who say to pray. Please keep in mind
    A MAN IS NOT WHAT HE BELIEVES IN , HE IS WHAT HE HIDES.

    Let me explain, if a man goes to pentecostal church every sunday, he is always on the pulpit giving testimony leading prayer, he is even on the church committee but he secretly swindles money from his company to lavish on his outside woman. That man believes in God but he is a thief and adulterer. This man calling out another woman’s name means one thing. He is an adulterer and she is his secret.

    • Fun&Frolic
      January 26, 2017

      Ms Christine, may I remind you that a person who rushes to judge others without evidence or due process lacks credibility and makes herself appear vengeful. I was not there, so I don’t know what he said. So unless you were a participant to the intimacy, rushing to accuse him of adultery demonstrates an intolerance for reasoning on your part.

    • January 26, 2017

      A man who swindles money from his company is NOT a Christian OR he is backslidden (away from the Lord).

      If you know such a man and have PROOF of the accusation you should talk privately with the pastor and
      share your information IF this situation is current. If it is something from long ago and has already been dealt with pray for the man and leave the problem with the Lord.

      I am an ordained minister in The Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada. We have over 1,100 churches across Canada and many more in foreign lands. I can share this with you. Our Constitution (canon law) does not allow a man who is currently like this to be a member in one of our churches much less hold an office or position of ministry in the church. Once the pastor was duly informed he would be legally obligated to bring the man to face church discipline. This is based on the Scriptures. (1 Corinthians 5:11-13)

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  15. January 26, 2017

    That’s very disrespectful. Some husbands forget their vows. ‘FORSAKE ALL OTHERS AND CLING ON TO HER’
    Is calling her another woman’s name forsaking all others? We are in dire need of organization’s which provides marriage counselling. This woman is patient. Another woman would poor hot oil in his ears after he ejaculate and fell asleep. Does that sound crazy? How long does it take many of us to reach the point of insanity?

    • January 27, 2017

      If Christ is not your anchor and you do not have the light His word to guide your life I expect it may not take long for some things to drive you insane.

      Revenge is not an option for a child of God so we do not even consider it.

      I suggest that you read Matthew 5:38-48 and Romans 12:10-21. Ask how does this apply to me in my present situation :?:

      Applying the scriptures – especially the teachings of Christ and the writings of the Apostle Paul – brings the healing balm of the gospel into the problems of life in a practical way.

      There is a great need for competent marriage counselors and not only marriage counselors but for general counselors. Some pastors do counseling. They would like you to attend the Sunday services at the church if you are seeing them for counseling. This is because the pulpit ministry of the word of God reinforces the counseling and increases the help you receive.

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  16. The Eel
    January 26, 2017

    If whilst having sexual intercourse with a lady she shout out ,nice one Jackson I would carry on like a tiger because I am getting to her weak points. When this is over, I would bring her a glass of orange juice with ice.I would then go ,darling !who is Jackson. Whosoever you may be, please save your marriage

  17. Positive
    January 26, 2017

    Bella you does have things to deal with wi
    Bonjai!!!!!!
    Maybe the man was talking spanish and say “NADA” and she hear Nadia
    POOPAGAD….. I dead and come back on that one there

  18. anon
    January 26, 2017

    yes prayer thats good advice talk to him ask him to be honest and you will be forgiving but dont forget that damage control i told you about…new underwear perhaps lol go out on dates …do fun things with and without the kids (if theres any) remind him of why you guys are married :-P

  19. anon
    January 26, 2017

    o please theres someone named nadia he likes very much and very much wants to have s** with and if nadia gives him the time of the day he would undress with no hesitation….he is thinking of nadia while with you….i dont think he has cheated YET because if he had cheated he would neverrr have called her name out loud ….men thats how they are …women also …mam nip this s**t in the bud if you value your marriage dont let it get to that point with nadia …go into damage control mode right nowwwww……

  20. Nadia
    January 26, 2017

    i am nadia :lol: :lol: :lol:

  21. me
    January 26, 2017

    He called you by another woman’s’ name while you are being intimate with him, and you what? told him it was ok. By laying on your back and having him pleasure himself, what message are you sending to our younger generation, that it is ok for your husband to have extramarital affairs? Great, hooray for men… another woman bites the dust.

    • Ideal
      January 26, 2017

      Why she not push him off her and even off the bed? He would have to finish the thing by himself. My lady he is cheating on you. so sorry but this is happening everywhere. Good luck hope you guys can work this out.

  22. Just Passing Through
    January 25, 2017

    Next time call a name too. Any name and see his reaction.

    • January 26, 2017

      All you Dominicans can make me laugh..Lord help me.

    • Da4real
      January 26, 2017

      My thoughts exactly.. Next time u guys are being intimate just call someone elses name and see his reaction. You dont need bella for advice. Do what a black woman wud do… Oopps are you black?

  23. January 25, 2017

    8-O

  24. Polls Archive
    January 25, 2017

    At least it’s Nadia not NADO!!! short for Bernard! LMAO!!

  25. Riviere
    January 25, 2017

    Is there a new Bella in town? What kind of “don’t do anything until Jesus speaks to you” advice is that.

    Lady, Trust is important in any marriage. If this has caused you not to trust your husband anymore, have a serious discussion with him about your feelings and the future of your relationship. Are there kids involved? How long have you been married? Have you had any issues with infidelity in the past? Get answers from your husband and ask yourself a few more questions, because Bella and many of the people here will not give you much.
    Good Luck

  26. Danziger
    January 25, 2017

    So whilst he was with you his feelings is for the other side. If is a woman LIKE Danzi I would burst yr MOUTH so Nadia the night nurse will take care of you.

  27. The Eel
    January 25, 2017

    What is the big deal? That was only sex talk. Are you not romantic in bed? This other name was only a colleague from work, so there

    • stupes
      January 25, 2017

      I found Wrong Name’s husband.

      • January 26, 2017

        Nobody asked you to find No Names husband.

        This is not the purpose of the Bella column.

        Bella does a fine job. Some have something meaningful to say. Others just want to wallow in the mud, or spew out dirt.

        Unless you have something to contribute that may be helpful you are better not to get involved. It could create a problem.

        Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill, D.D. Evangelist. (Pastoral Counselor Certificate)

  28. truthman
    January 25, 2017

    He called you another name and you continued what nonsense is that. You should have thrown his a threw a wall. 99% of the time a man calls u another name he is cheating. Divorce him that’s a grave insult. Am a man I know.

    • Dominican Passports
      January 27, 2017

      Sounding like a real hater :evil:

  29. Shameless
    January 25, 2017

    Come on girl! NADIA is the pet name he has for you and all those years you just never knew. Or, he may have just said ” you are so sweet MY DEAR and you did not hear properly. Come on we say many things in the heat of the action so excuse us.

    Always Assertive! 8) 8)

  30. Fun&Frolic
    January 25, 2017

    My wife called me “Oh Gawd” during intimacy, and my name is very far from it. Please help me, Bella!!

  31. January 25, 2017

    Dear Wrong Name:

    Bella has given you good advise and you may be wise to follow it until you are satisfied the problem (if there is one) has been cleared up. I especially encourage you to engage in strong prayer for your husband.

    Unless a man was having a lengthy and meaningful relationship with one particular woman it is unlikely he would blurt out her name at a time like this. If he was seeing woman after woman he would scarcely remember their names and not likely when he was being passionate with his beloved.

    Sit down with your husband. Tell him something is troubling you. Talk kindly and softly. Let him know he can be truthful. Show you are willing to forgive him but you want to know it is over and will not happen again.

    I encourage you to make a medical appointment and be tested for sexually transmitted diseases.

    Please do not give up on your husband. Stand your ground and work at this!

    Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill (Pastoral Counselor Certificate)

  32. January 25, 2017

    U did a good Job, next time he will say OOOOO GOD!!! Much to do with whats in a Name. Bogus!

  33. Don Keyballs
    January 25, 2017

    This happened to me once, while being intimate with my girlfriend. The funny thing is that I only had an eye for the other woman whose name I called her by, but was not intimate with her and never did. So it can happen. Strange.

    • Polls Archive
      January 25, 2017

      So that means you were fantasizing about the other chick while sexing your girlfriend. That’s just as bad. Once your thoughts on another woman in that way you cheated.

    • January 26, 2017

      All you Dominicans can make me laugh..Lord help me.

    • January 26, 2017

      Intimate with your girlfriend?

      Then you are a fornicator. You are no better than a married man who is intimate with another woman. The Bible says *…….they that do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.* (1 Corinthians 6:9,10)

      But when we BELIEVE in the Lord Jesus Christ according to Acts 16:31 and RECEIVE Him as our Savior according to John 1:12 (which means the same thing) He forgives us of all these sins. If you go back and read again 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 then read verse 11 you will see there were members in the church in Corinth who had once been guilty of these sins but God had saved them and now they were washed, sanctified, and justified :!: Note: The word *justified* means MADE JUST AS IF YOU HAD NEVER SINNED :!:
      This is because …

      This is what we must BELIEVE :!: This is what we must TRUST :!: Nothing but the BLOOD of Jesus :!:

      *… the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from ALL sin.* (1 John 1:7)

      Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill.

  34. Rat767
    January 25, 2017

    Hmm !!! Well . Wrong name , I can tell you straight up your hubby is seeing someone else our maybe having cyber sex ok sweetheart that’s y he calls names . get with the program call names too

  35. budman
    January 25, 2017

    that happened to me many years ago. but it was the side piece. she got called by the main’s name. so no problem. she was a side piece and knew this.

  36. TINA
    January 25, 2017

    PAPA METTTTT

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