I’m falling in love … but he’s married

Dear Bella: I don’t know what to do. I met this really nice guy and he is married, but the thing is he doesn’t have a relationship with his wife at all.

They live together and they have kids, but they don’t have a relationship. They have been having problems long before I came in the picture.

He is really, really nice and I think that he has fallen for me, and I have fallen for him too.  He will tell me that I light up his life and things like that and the thing is I believe him because he is an honest man. He told me that he wants to get out of the relationship, but it’s hard because of his kids. The kids don’t know that he and his wife are don’t have any relationship, and he is worried about them.  I don’t know what to do because I am falling for him too. I need some advice please. Thanks.

JB.

Dear JB,

Just because you claim that he and his wife has no relationship is no justification for you to get intimately involved with him. Saying that “they have no relationship” does not extract from the fact that they are still married. It’s true sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with, but you can take steps that will not allow you to get into deep.

You are only contributing to this man’s marriage demise. You should be encouraging and advising him to try to work things out with his wife, instead of embracing his compliments about you lighting up his life. What you need to do is to end this intimate emotional relationship with him, if it has not gone further than that, I hope, and if it has end it anyways. Besides it is adultery and you’ve already opened the path for an adulterous relationship.

I’m sure there are many single guys out there with less drama than which you have involved yourself in right now. If the marriage should end let it not be because of anything you did.

Bella.

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65 Comments

  1. February 1, 2013

    Dear J.B: If you want to do the right thing you have no choice because here is only one right way to go. If you don’t care about doing the right thing and all that matters to you is taking a risk for the chance of having a good time for a while then you will pursue this man no matter what anybody tells you. But if you want to avoid a disaster and take the high road here are a few things you should consider. (1) You have no proof this man doesn’t have a relationship with his wife. (2) This is the lie men use most often to deceive other women so they will have a sexual relationship with them. The more often a man tells this lie the better he gets at it and the more convincing he becomes! (3) Even good marriages have highs and lows depending on many things such as the health of each partner, job problems, family income, the behaviour and discipline of children, etc. These things change with the passing of time. A good man will stay with his wife and work through the problem or problems. This is what marriage counselors are for. Many church pastors are trained in counseling and are happy to help couples who are sincere in their desire to save their marriages. (4) Would you want to be in a relationship with a man who had left his wife and children to be with another woman? Don’t you think he would leave you if (a) he met somebody he liked better, or (b) he became lonely for his children, or (c) you started getting on his nerves, or (d) you became ill? Believe me J.B., there is NO security in his kind of relationship. His children will grow up resenting you. His parents, sibblngs, etc. (if he has any) will detest you. (5) J.B., you can do better. Take time to make yourself the kind of woman a good man – the kind of man you would be be proud to introduce as your husband – would want for a wife! This is worth the effort. It is no fun being in a relationship you hope nobody finds out too much about, or you have to always be explaining or making excuses for! Begin attending the services at a Bible believing church here you will meet happy people and listen to teaching and preaching that will help you become woman of honor! I invite you to visit my website http://www.livinghopeministries.ca Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  2. Anonymous
    July 10, 2012

    They don’t have a relationship? And you believe that?? Lol Lol. Trust me, they most likely do. Might be a thing he tells brainless girls though.

  3. sweet pum pum
    December 24, 2010

    lmao very loudly….you all are naive and quick to judge chocolate and hypocrite this is sweet pum pum and we have some sad and bitter-don’t know -how to hold on to your husbands women out there you can hear the desparation and feel the venom in their stings I give you two props. There are cases where some men are trapped into marriages and are very unhappy and find comfort in the arms of the outside woman…jb surprisingly despite all the crap you are hearing your married boyfriend may very well genuinely love you he is not perfect no one is…we all make mistakes he may leave his wife for you…some of those single men out there are worst and have nothing more to offer you..out of the frying pan into the fire. Because he is married does not mean he does not deserve the happiness that he can probably find with you..who knows what the story with the wife is ? some of these women treat their husbands very nastily. In as much as there may
    be some womanizers…All married men are not just out to get into your pants some are really hurting from some bad marriages… and no one should not be given that kind of life sentence…
    neither man nor woman….No one is anyone’s piece of property…and once again wives are not always the innocent victims in the marriage…too many of you all have that sh*&@t all wrong…
    think again…

    • chibabe
      February 7, 2012

      thief u are after what u will get forgotten his wife was there through his sruggles and besides if he is a man even at cheating should respect his wife so stop wrecking homes and see how Gods punnishment dont break your neck when u get old no one will be by yourside u end up with 6 unwanted kids and no father and your children will follow the foot step dominican cheap girl break the curses that has been dooming yo all for long most of you are from wrecked home products , ypur mothers break peoples relationships to make u all break the curses get your own hussy and make your own home dont be a thief.

    • R
      May 1, 2012

      i love this comment!!! thats the down right truth!sum men likewise the women,are really unhapy in marriages and who wants to be unhappy??consider being married for 40yrs to sum1 and pure heavy heart and unhappiness through it all.i think the Almighty Creator prefer see us happy and living in love and peace on earth dan being even in a marriage whre we always unhappy and down in spirit and unable to fullfill even the purpose he has for us.in children case,better they see parants seperate and happy than 2gther and unhappy bcuz it will rub off to them.

      • Mer
        June 17, 2012

        I really liked what you said there R. Makes perfect sense. I think some people are really quick to judge not knowing what the real situation is. Only looking at one side of the story. A lot of people are all about “morals” and doing what everyone considers “right”. But it’s not ever about pleasing everyone else around us, it’s alright if you too are happy about it, but why please others when you yourself aren’t happy?

    • December 31, 2012

      do you know why the wife must be treating him so? poor excuse to justify the action.some husband lie on their wife to gain sympathy.what he do to his wife he will surely do to you.He is a coward ,wants to have his cake and eat it.

    • February 1, 2013

      People who condone adultery are as bad as those who commit the sin. Would you also ignore the commandment “Thou shalt not kill”? or “Thou shalt not covet”? If not how do you decide which of the ten commandments to obey and which to disobey? If so you are dangerous people! Do you not know that these sins attract demons which cause outbreaks of paranormal activity, some types of mental illness, increase criminal activity, and drive up the suicide rate? The Bible says “Righteousness exalteth a nation but sin is a reproach to any people.” Soon Jesus Christ will take His place upon the restored throne of King David in Jerusalem and rule the nations of the world. In that day all mankind will enjoy the peace and joy that comes from living in obedience to the once despised and crucified Jewish carpender while those who rejected Him are consigned to outer darkness. Those who trust Christ now and live for Him enjoy the first fruits of the coming age. We invite you to come aboard with us! There is room for all. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (St. John 3:16) The promise takes you in! Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.

  4. hmph
    November 29, 2010

    Well said bella

  5. LAUGHING OUT LOUD!
    October 26, 2010

    @hypocrite: @BJ:
    SO SO SO TRUE!
    ALL OF THEM ARE HYPOCRITES ALWAYS QUICK TO JUDGE PPL LIKE THEY ANY BETTER
    TALKING BOUT GIVIN POSITIVE ADVICE WEN THEY ALL QUICK TO CALL PEOPLE HORRIBLE NAMES

  6. ......
    August 22, 2010

    @chocolate: Young lady, please learn to spell. I hope your IQ is not as bad as your spelling because your advice sure is. Whether or not the man has a relationship with his wife is of little relevance here. The fact remains that nothing is going to come from this relationship because his commitment lies with his wife and all the young lady will ever be is a side fling. When he’s done with her he’ll move on to the next one. We all have a right to make our choices but we have a right to choose wisely too.

  7. chocolate
    August 10, 2010

    it doesnt matter wat pple try to do or say if its to last it will and if its already broken up nuttn they try will eva mend it. it mite 4 a period a time but it will still end. and to sum of the wives out there alyo like to tlk bout keep from “we husbands” but then alyo still aint showin him d love and attention that he needs thats y he hv to go out on you. seems like that only last 4 a while and thats the honeymoon wen that done is down d drain

  8. Peace
    August 4, 2010

    Why all this tay la la over a man?! Men dont give a shit- they will sleep with you, your sister, your brother, your mother, your father, your apple and even your tomato. So when women are busy getting headache over their so called man- he will too busy thinking of his next experimentation on a cucumber rather than trying to please u and trying to make the relationship work- thus respecting you, your feelings, your love and emotions. Please women- dnt get headache over something you think you know.

    • under the radar
      December 29, 2010

      Well said…. i am a man, with a male brain and i agree… those girls need their state of denial surgically removed and reality transplanted into every fiber of their spirit…. think about it. after all this waste of life, and no promise of any future with someone’s husband, what is the future husband of this woman going to get?

  9. Get real!!
    August 1, 2010

    I support hypocrite, it’s not all married homes are happy homes. If his home was such a happy home why would he be seeing JB since 2004. Some wives need to make changes in their lives instead of fighting with who/whom their husbands sleeps with. Wives please start by demanding respect from your husband. If he has been out there that long then something is wrong. Truth is as sad as it is, a lot of men and women stays in marriages because of kids. People please stop that the only ones being hurt in the process are the kids and by the time the kids make it to adulthood and most of your lives has been wasted that’s when your kids says “You should have divorced daddy long time.” Husbands and wives there is always someone better out there, so stop settling for less. Yes! the man might be a liar or he might be telling the truth no one knows but him. None of us knows if he indeed has genuine feelings for this young lady and despises his wife. What is marriage these days? There is not place in law that said because you married someone you have to stay regardless if your being mistreated, cheated on… move on people… I’m just saying!

  10. look beff poo jeff
    July 31, 2010

    @ Leave my hubby alone

    “divorce him and leave him with only the clothes on his back…” Is U that working..

  11. sad angel
    July 31, 2010

    GIRL THE MAN IS LYING, AS SOON AS A MAN TELL YOU HE HAS NO RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE, AND HE WOULD LOVE TO LEAVE BUT ITS THE KIDS STOPPING HIM, ALL YOU ARE THEN GIRL, IS A LITTLE EXTRA PUSS PUSS ON THE SIDE, I KNOW I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY, SAME STORY FROM A MAN, AND I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED, AS SOON AS THE MAN GOT WHAT HE WANTED HE FINISH WITH ME, I DIDNT TELL HIS WIFE, WHY SHOULD I CAUSE HER PAIN,,,,,,

    LEAVE THE MAN ALONE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF FINE BROTHERS IN DOMINICA WHO HAVE NO WIVES, DONT SELL YA SELF SHORT.

    BY THE WAY I AM MARRIED TO A LOVELY MAN NOW AND HAVE 2 LOVELY CHILDREN…. HE HAD NO PREVIOUS WIFE.

    • chibabe
      February 7, 2012

      dont mind the cheap things loosers thats what they are being decieved shows how cheap they are

  12. no such thing
    July 31, 2010

    doo darling, he is not an HONEST MAN. Open your love closed eyes booboo…he has a wife and you on the side, he isnt being honest with u, his wife or himself. If he was an honest man, and one to be respected at that, he would not be telling you everything that you would want to hear…”i am married, but i am not happy,i have no relationship with my wife” “you light up my life” “i am staying because of the kids”….hmmm…a load of *********** if you ask me. No one can be in an unhappy relationship because of the kids, the kids will sence it, it will not be a happy home. parents get divorced, separated; some even die:-( and the kids survive. so staying because of the kids is NOT an excuse honey. if i ever fell in love with a married man i would respect him more if he told me NO. later down the line if things dont work out with his wife and we do end up together i kno then that i am really dealing with an HONEST man. dont be stringed along darling, dont be the fall back girl, dont be the mistriss, love yurself enough, dont put yur heart through that ache. BE THE ONE AND ONLY, FIND A SINGLE MAN TO TREAT YOU LIKE A PRINCESS. LOVE ALWAYS.

  13. July 30, 2010

    SHAY BAY CHOKY ORIGINAL HOLD DEM LORD HELP MY UNBELIEF

  14. Lady
    July 30, 2010

    Sweetheart you better run, run far. How much you betting he telling you that and he and his wife happy? Honey trust no man, no matter how nice they may seem. Trust me I’m married

  15. Leave my hubby alone
    July 30, 2010

    @someone who knows better

    He is my husband, wasn’t anyone else’s. You wanna take the beam out of your eyes and put it
    in mine to make ppl out there think i was a homewrecker so what goes around comes around?
    I was brought up correctly to know in the first place, that when two people are married, NEVER go between them, so why would i break down another woman’s marriage to wed her husband?

    Unless you are referring to someone else or my hubby has another one? In that case, maybe i should get additional evidence such as what I already have on you, divorce him and leave him with only the clothes on his back… maybe when he can’t top up your digicell phone from here anymore, you will find someone else who can. Good luck..

  16. Leave my hubby alone
    July 30, 2010

    @Someone who knows better

    Is that the yarn he spon you? Then you really need some common sense because
    I am his wife and trust me, I am not holding him captive in our home. If he wanted to be
    with you so badly, he would have already left and/or divorced me. Truth is, he is not playing
    you or he would have left already because i can certainly manage with the kids on my own.

    Stop intruding on our marriage and find something or someone else to occupy yourself.
    Stop eating scraps from our family table….

    • disgusted
      January 29, 2011

      true that, true that

    • chibabe
      February 7, 2012

      cheap slut u heard her write u all settle for less the woman is in and your ass is out so stay and wast your juice one someone eles homes leave the woman man go get yours or better still go get the man your mother finish all his money make hi parouu soak his cokky in clorox and u get a man leave the woman husband alone……. my dear dont worry with this cheap sluts make your man understand this year his either in or out

  17. shaking my head right now
    July 30, 2010

    hmp!!! girl you aint getting nothing out of that relationship. he probably just using you for the sex. so do yourself a favor and get out of this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. July 30, 2010

    woman how can u believe this s*** . he is not home because of his kids.if he wanted to leave his wife he woulbd rent somewhere for u and him and have his kids come visit. thats not going to stop him from seeing his children.after all he is the father. he is fooling u an using u. wen are we women going to realize that we should not make men walk on us like trash. stand out of that nasty situation cause later the kids might be blaming u for there parents divorce

  19. July 30, 2010

    I guess sometimes u cannot help who u fall in “love” with but JB u r an idiot and the man is a LIAR !!! I can’t believe u actually believe him. He’s been have problems with his wife for a long time, yet he stays with her for the “sake of the kids” PLEASE, u need to travel to oz and ask the wizard for a brain.

  20. Be real
    July 30, 2010

    @ hypocrite…. You are not a realist, you are just sad, come on tell Bella your problem, I am sure she can help you too..

  21. someone who knws better....
    July 30, 2010

    leave my hubby alone,
    need i too remind u,that the hubby that u are talkin about was someone elses husband?u came between them ,and she had too run away from him bcuz of the streess u impose on them. He had to HUNT for her all over the states to devorce her and marry you!!!!!!’ what goes around comes around ‘KARMA’ is a b*****, this is ur reality baby deal with it…… that is ur circle of life sorry to say.

  22. July 30, 2010

    To “Lord Jesus help us” you asked whether this story is fictitious? Well it is not. Rather it is all about the conducts and attitude of the human mind. You see my friend, the majority of humans are yet to realize that unless they have the mind of God, they are not living in harmony with Him.

    Human beings are so ignorant of that fact, that we believe that God is involved in the ideas our carnal minds process and produce. The thing about men, women, and marriage is one of the worst of the carnal mind’s process and production that God has nothing to do with. God is Holy, Spirit ,and Truth and He pays attention to those who are striving to live with the conducts and attitude of Love.

    All of that filthiness–SALOPTAE– as we say it in patois in Dominica, that is in our marriage, God wants nothing to do with it. We talk about falling in love, making love, and this and that, but we do not know that God is Love and Love must be demonstrated through the conducts and attitude of righteousness, to give glory to our righteous God.

    Jesus told the Sadducees, who were trying to trap Him by using a woman who married seven brothers, and they died one after the other. Because it was according to the Jewish Law, for a man to marry the wife of his dead brother.

    When the Jewish leaders ask Jesus which brother would be that lady’s husband in the resurrection, because they did not believe in the resurrection, Jesus simply told them that they were ignorant of the scriptures. He meant that those men did not understand that their was a big difference between Life in the Spirit, which is Love, and the existence of flesh and blood.

    Those men did not understand that in the resurrection flesh and blood will have nothing to do with our existence. For in the resurrection we come to Life with a a body of Spirit and Truth, that is, if we die with an awakened soul within us.

    So Jesus told the men that in Heaven people neither marry nor are they given in marriage, because they live like angels there. So those of you who are saying that you are going to live in heaven forever and ever, but you plan to be able hug up like husband and wife and so on, you are not preparing for Life in Eternity with God, in Jesus.

    I see the point of hypocrite, as he points out the way we all lashed at the young woman. I am sure that most of us mean well, but many of us have lashed at her in a very wrong way. The woman who claimed to be the true wife, for example, might think she was better than that young woman, or she is the victim of circumstances, but her verbal expressions did not demonstrate that claim.

    We have advised that young lady with no consideration that she is also a person with feelings, not that I am advising her to continue with a married man, I know the heart break of being with a married man twice in my life. But at both times I was in the relationship long before I knew that the men were married. Let us consider that she came out of the open about what was taking place in her life. And if she truly intended to please herself alone, she would not have written to a counsellor for advice.

    Once again, there is another story where the self righteous Jewish leaders brought a lady to Jesus, claiming that they caught her in adultery. Who knows what they did with man, that is a great question. But again they were trying to set a trap for Jesus, thinking that Jesus would advise them to stone the lady to death, since that was part of the Jewish law as well. They were looking to see if Jesus would go against the law that says “thou shall kill” so they could use that against Him.

    But Jesus simply picked a stone and He handed it to the men who had brought the woman to Him for judgement, and He said to them: “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” The men all left the lady and Jesus alone at the place where they had brought her to Him, and they walked away. Not one of them was qualified to use that stone against her. Jesus told the woman, “I do not condemn you either, but go and sin no more.”

    Adultery, fornication, rape, homosexuality, lesbianism, lies, jealousy, envy, pride, drug addiction, alcoholism, murder, I could go on and on. the whole list of those attitude and conducts are of fleshly influence. They are sinful, they are of the world and not of the Father. They do not glorify Love, which is of God, and it grieves Him. As human beings we all have sinned. That is the message that Hypocrite might have sent to us, as we counselled that young with such selfish advice.

    One of the most important truth that we need to get into our heads about Life, is that Love and human affection is not the same thing. Human affection is of the flesh, it demonstrate what is known as lust–the sensuality of the human mind’s production. The apostle John tells us that “the lust of the eye and the lust of the flesh is not of the Father, it is of the world”.

    The majority of marriage involves the conducts and attitude of human affection. That is why there are so many marriages with problems. The things of the flesh do not last forever. The fake lustre that influenced the marriage will eventually loose its shine. The minute the lust die off, people decide that they do not love each other anymore. The truth is that most of those couples never loved each other from the beginning.

  23. July 29, 2010

    MY DEAR FRIEND I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER NOT TO PUT YOURSELF IN THIS DRAMA.AS LONG AS HE IS MARRIED, HIS MARRIED LIFE PROBLEM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. MEN WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.REMEMBER YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BEHIND CLOSE DOORS BECAUSE I AM PRETTY SURE THAT HIS WIFE HAS A DIFFERENT STORY SO PLEASE HAVE SOME SELF ESTEEM AND GET OUT BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF IN SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS.THATS IS WHY NO WOMAN CAN LOOK AT ME AND PUT MY NAME ON THEIR DEVORCE PAPAER HELL NO CAUSE THAT IS A CURSE FOR LIFE.ARE YOU GOOD IN YOUR HEAD? I DON’T THINK SO. FOR WHAT I SAW MY AUNT DID ANOTHER LADY FOR HER OWN HUSBAND I VOW NEVER TO PUT MYSELF WITH A MARRIED MAN.I DON’T CARE WHAT PROBLEM YOU ALL HAVE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.SO PLEASE TELL THE MAN TO MAKE HIS MARRIED LIFE WORK IF IS SALT IT MISSING ADD TO IT.

  24. HA HA HA
    July 29, 2010

    Who say the man don’t have a relationship with his wife .He meet a slack thing so he want to enjoy himself.Men don’t live there wife so easily, they will use those girls and in the end they go back to there wife.He will always tell her what he knows she want to hear.Vieux fam sot

  25. baby c
    July 29, 2010

    u know i would not want to call this lady any dirty name but u know i am a married woman and this could be my husband making break on this girl we married these men give them the world have their kids love them yet some of these men still find they want to go around and cheat on their wife my advice to this young lady is leave the man alone encourage him to go to his wife and fix up his marriage then u will feel good about yourself because u did no assist in breaking up a happy home and a vow put together by god then god will bless u with what is yours and yours alone , them married men too impossible when they finish they going and sleep with their wife and tell them how much they love them god have a plan for them

  26. Pnuts
    July 29, 2010

    @ hypocrite,

    U seem to be on the defensive here today. Anyway I do not see anybody helping God in judgement here on this post. The mouth speaks by the abundance of the heart, and in your post U were just down right rediculous. Your thoughts U wrote here are too negative, the OP needs positive advice and not someone telling her it is ok to go with the married man because:
    “MARRIED,,,,big freaking deal in this day and age….
    Some of all you posting those comments are married and sleeping with people other than your spouses. Some of all you are child abusers—sexually. Some of you pay for sex…. some of you are alcoholics….drug dealers/pushers/mules…………..some of you do the unimaginable and lie with animals.
    Pnuts.

  27. Lord Jesus Help us
    July 29, 2010

    Is this story real or fictitious – I want to believe that these stories are fictitious, cause I cannot understand in this era where – la te’ eclawa’ people can still be so foolish. If this story is real, mamsel just looking for a man to chew his pocket and support her lazy a**.
    ADMIN: We get many e-mails requesting advice from Bella from people in these situations.

  28. ObserverDom
    July 29, 2010

    Vicious comments and flailing the rod of religion, this is not helpful.

    This human problem is nothing new, yet many people around the world experience it for the first time every day. Men and women will continue to cheat on their partners, if they choose to.
    The ideal is to stay with one partner for life, however, so long as humans have hormones, thoughts, emotions, and desire, this problem will exist.

    If the man is truly unhappy stay far away from him and let him think seriously about his situation and if he chooses to make his life happier elsewhere then so be it. Until he arrives at that decision and is making his life again as a single man, he will be a drain on your emotions and your thoughts; you will be well advised to cut all contact with him immediately.
    If you allow yourself to become even more emotionally attached and emotionally dependent on him it may be many years before you are able to extract yourself from this relationship.
    Many Wasted Years.

    Instead, Go out and enjoy your life, read books, educate yourself, learn new things, get a better job, travel, these are some of the things you can do to improve yourself and elevate your mind and your thoughts then you will find the right person who is available for you and only you.

  29. hypocrite
    July 29, 2010
  30. hypocrite
    July 29, 2010

    @BJ:

    I have a man who isn’t cheating,unlike your husband. There.

  31. hypocrite
    July 29, 2010

    @concerned:
    does that mean he can have an affair in the relationship….like one you sanction?

  32. hypocrite
    July 29, 2010

    @Pnuts:

    the truth hurts doesn’t it. What god has put together. Shame on you all. Lot’s of things put people together these days. and mostly it has nothing to do with god. Being married for married sake…old maid and all……money…..greed……pure stupidity as some women get married to people who abuse them b4 and after. …..for the sake of the children and the list can go on and on.
    Take your heads out of the sand ………….too many other things happening in the blasted country for all you to want to give advice about what somebody should do with their private parts. It’s not your business………..
    And for the record have no chip on my shoulder ….just a realist….unlike the lot of you.

  33. Just Another Guy On The Street
    July 29, 2010

    Ha ha ha I can’t believe that women still fall for that s*** we give them,, lol. Married love my wife but not in love with her or we sleep back to back or she is there but I use my hand because I don’t love her!!!! And sadly these bulls*** talk works, bro if you getting wood them self, but man doh just leaving their wife just for sex, fact is more sex is just around the corner, if you want de person husband then doh your s*** but don’t say you really believe what he say because he is an honest man, we are not honest oh and that goes for all you women too, that is why you two end up where you say you are!! And it will take someone like “hypocrite” to talk s*** and say go for it, remind me of some chicks I know, one cannot tell the other don’t do that because it is wrong, instead they talk more crap about love and do what you have to do!!!
    Woman grow up and get a life and a man of your own (then again we will always be men, lol), nevertheless breaking one home to fix yours will not last, some other woman go break down your home too!!!
    Come on how honest can the guy be??? If he was and he was having issues with his wife and his marriage and he believed in his vows then he would go to his God for guidance not you and instead you push him in that direction you opening your arms and God knows what else and then is we men that bad!!!
    But it is in our nature to ask, and play tricks and more monkey tricks to get and when we meet them weak like you we smile and just Wood Dem, wood dem, wood dem, wood dem, and that is the truth!!!

  34. Leave my hubby alone
    July 29, 2010

    JB,
    Is it just coincidence that you are JB which most likely stands for a common last name in Dominica? YOu sound like the lil homewrecker (medical caregiver with white cap) who works at the main hospital in Dominica. If in any case you are…. I am the wife of the man you claim you are falling for and for the information of everyone out there, she is not falling for him, they’ve been having an affair since 2004, she’s been trying to get him to leave me but if he wanted to, trust me sweetheart, he would have left already….. He married me, not you and yes we do have a relationship. A God-blessed marital relationship even if we do not always see eye to eye but that is necessary to keep a marriage challenging.

    Need I say more….. Go get your own man. As you can see, i keep rising… God bless.

  35. July 29, 2010

    Hi JB, I am a married woman and I know what having this extra marital affair is all about. It HURTS deeply to know that ur husband is having an affair out of the marriage.. It gets me SICK to know that u women know how destructive this can be n still take the pleasure in destroying what God has joined… BuT always remember God doesn’t sleep, n what u do today will definitely live with u tomorrow..

    How would u take it to know that ur man or ur boyfriend has another woman while he is with u? Put yourself in the wife’s position and please stay away from that.. This is a dangerous zone that u are walking on.. For the benefit of of u and the wife please leaaave this relationship alone and pray for God to bless u with a wonderful man.

  36. lodbeen
    July 29, 2010

    I am so fed up of these f*&king stories. As a married woman, it just breaks my heart. A married man will say anything to get in a single woman panty and a slack woman will give it up and forget about adultery and all that. If you doh love your wife again, divorce her but doh spread no dirty rumors about the woman and the state of your marriage. Shate man!

  37. Pnuts
    July 29, 2010

    @ hypocrite,

    Wow U sound pretty screwed up yourself. I hope U were not describing yourself in your post. That would be really sad. Anyways for the better of the human race stay away from giving advices. U r too negative, advices should be positive vibes.
    Pnuts

  38. Virtue
    July 29, 2010

    Girlfriend, you fell for that pathetic lie, “Does not have a relationship with his wife”, the guy just wants to sleep with you. Man will say anything to sleep with you. My dear, step away from this married man, it is not worth your time. You will just end up getting hurt.

  39. BJ
    July 29, 2010

    @hypocrite: yOU HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM MY FRIEND ! ! yOU ALSO HAVE A CHIP ON YOUR SHOLUDER. go pray ! !

  40. hypocrite
    July 29, 2010

    Listen to all you …MARRIED,,,,big freaking deal in this day and age. Get off all you high horse. Some of all you posting those comments are married and sleeping with people other than your spouses. Some of all you are child abusers—sexually. Some of you pay for sex…. some of you are alcoholics….drug dealers/pushers/mules…………..some of you do the unimaginable and lie with animals…….so what the hell is all you point. Live and let live ….live the damn woman to live her damn life as she see fit and wait for the creator to judge her. Not one of us can do that job for him. Check yourselves first.

  41. Wise up
    July 29, 2010

    How naive and gullible can women be. Sweetheart there is no such thing as an honest man. They are all wolfs in sheeps’ clothing and to add insult to injury, some of them use the bible as a clock of malicious.

  42. men will be men
    July 29, 2010

    Darline plz leave that married man alone. Men will say anything to get into ur pants then when they get it the truth always show itself. dont get trapped in this melay. If u claim to love him then you should love him enough to leave him alone. A word to the wise.

  43. Justice is better than peace
    July 29, 2010

    Leave the married man alone he go make you groan

  44. Justice is better than peace
    July 29, 2010

    I can bet anyone that (infidel )goes to church everyday and read a bible everyday.”What God has joined together let no woman put assunder” I am the Lord thy God, I hate devorse” Go back to church tomorow and opend the bible , then you will not need other vices. That’s enough. While the Maried man is saying this to you he is saying this to many other women, that’s what they say to get sex. Maried men are like the sea and the grave”they are never sattisfied”.

  45. drlove
    July 29, 2010

    well well well i cannot belive some women a still stupid in these age of time why should you belive the man and do you live with them girl i think if you want to no for sure ask him to move in with you or lets find a place of our own so we can be together cause kids do not let ppl stay together men say and do nearly anything to get to the panties i see u a one of them women men can fool very easy any way i suggest you stop seeing the lady husband and fine you a man i hope is not my husband cause i will k!!L that man

  46. Nadzz
    July 29, 2010

    I am not saying this is the case, but you have to be careful of who you trust. Some men are very deceiving and you won’t find out until they get what they want and satisfy their ego and then you are left all broken up with regrets and pain.

    Please I beg you to call on the lord for guidance and do not fall in this trap…Take Bella’s advice. Some men never have woman or their realtionships are always doomed but inspite of all they say their are signs that we sometimes neglect and make excuses for their already sick stories. An example might be he calls instead of you calling and when you sometimes call, the phone is off and tomorrow it’s some excuse. Be wise my dear!!!!!!!!

    If you wish you can contact me @nadoxe@hotmail.com to speak some more about your situation. I will be more than happy to give you some more advice and some experiences I have had.

  47. spirit love
    July 29, 2010

    “YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE” this sounds so dump girl that a married man who once told his wife that she light up his life is now telling you the same thing to trap u. “HE IS AN HONEST MAN” well am an honest man so come meet me if you that folish.girl is not all that glitter is gold.

  48. Pnuts
    July 29, 2010

    Dear JB,

    U r an idiot, u know that? U said he is an honest man yet still he is persuing and extra marital relationship with u. What is the meaning of honesty JB? U said he does not have a relationship with his wife, and he is just there because of the kids. BULLS***!! That is a line to fool u, get in your pants, and still keep his family intact; in doing so he looses nothing. You will be loosing your dignity though Miss JB, 0 morals for a home wrecker. They had problems before u were in the picture u claim, but u just became one of the problems, a big one. Read the bible JB, if u need guidance that is the best place to start. WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO MAN PUT A SUNDER! U will be specially punished, because God’s words do not return unto him void. Think about that JB. Find your own man, there are alot of single men/boys roaming around.
    Pnuts.
    PS Never fall in love lest u cannot get back up, rather U should learn to walk in love. U will be on your feet rather that on your back, and will be able to think straight.

  49. Fedup Dominican
    July 29, 2010

    My dear, I have been exactly where you are at right now and even further. A relationship with this man is only going to bring you heartache and loneliness, because at the end of the day the man is still married. When it matters most, he will choose to be with his wife and kids….during times of family holidays and other special times, he will choose his wife…..he will only bring you places where no one can see you all together…and at the end of the day, the man that you claim to be an honest man will be lying to his wife that you all are not having an affair, he will be lying to himself that he really loves you and not his wife when deep down in his heart he knows that he only wants to have a good time for a while, and he will definitely be lying to you making you believe that you are his whole world, getting you emotionally and physically attached to him, when he knows that the affair is only that, an affair.

    You are young, smart and beaufiful I presume…don’t get caught up in his web of lies. I can assure that he has pulled this crap before. Call him out on who and what he really is….a lying, cheating ba$tard. Get out of this quagmire before it is too late.

    Find a young man without all this baggage and give your all into building a wonderful, meaningful relationship.

    All the best!

  50. BLUE PRINTS
    July 29, 2010

    My girl.. honestly y fall in love with a married man.. wat is it you want from him.. cause umm we women all want the same thing.. to get married have kids build our home live happily ever after.. did u realize or u just did not notice he did that for one wman already… oh so now you want him to leave his wife to give u what he already invested his all in??? my girl wise up and grow up.. there is no future in loving a married man.. they always unhappy with their wives but then the kiddies factory still grows.. how can u make love and keep sowing seeds into a woman u say you dont love anymore… men have way to many tricks if u ask me and all married men would love to have this young girl with all the energy swooning over him.. my advice to you let his ASS go home to his wife and move on with your free single and disengaged life that u living right now.. you will find a man of your own.. have faith…

  51. SS
    July 29, 2010

    But which part of LEAVE MARRIED MEN ALONE can these stupid girls not understand! You can never be a sensible woman so u must b a lil girl with no brain in that skull of urs to fall for that. I dont care if they not talking, i dont care if they have children to me that even makin it worse, as a matter of fact when u see married men you should be seeing a red zone. I hate excuses from women sayin it jus happened, nothing didnt just happen, you allowed it to, if u had respect for yourself or anyone else u would realize that that man is not yourr and stay far away from any advances or any sort of ‘friendship’ that you may feel yourself gettin from since in the beginning. All you to dam wicked… LEAVE MARRIED MEN ALONE sacway sot, u will stay the outside girl forever, child will grow up and he will still never leave… remember that. P.S try to become a woman….

  52. July 29, 2010

    my dear leave the man alone advice him to make things work with his wife and stop seeing him and give the man a break,the kids need their father.in this world today we all leaving in.

  53. CB CUZ
    July 29, 2010

    Girl girl girl all married men say the same thing “i am only there because of the kids” girl grow up and go find yourself a single guy because there a lots of good single guys out there. Leave d married man alone too many of you young women a breaking up marriages u know he is married and still yet u a in between their marriage.
    Why dont you tell your self that if things a bad at home he can still take care of his kids and dont have to be in the house. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CAPUCCINO LEAVE D MARRIED MAN ALONE..SALOP have some self-respect and LEAVE D MARRIED MAN ALONE DONT BE THE CAUSE OF ANOTHER FAILED MARRIAGE

  54. Giso
    July 29, 2010

    I agree with you Bella. To add to your already wise counsel I would advise that you put your shoes in the wife’s shoes and just imagine how it would feel. The old adage “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” applies perfectly here.

    This devious imp will tell you exactly what you want to hear as he practices his “eating the cake and still having it” strategy. Do not aid and abet him in leading a double life. He is a lying, coniving brute who preys on vulnerable women and you fit the bill perfectly.

    Rise up black queen and do not let that toad take you down a slippery slope of heartbreak and dispair. Your prince charming in waiting let that frog go about his merry way.

  55. Fedup
    July 29, 2010

    So you want to break up the man’s family and you justifying it by saying that he and his wife does not have a relationship. That’s what he told you? That is what makes him honest? Did the children also tell you they want to lose their father? You women just make me sick. Get the hell out of these people’s lives.

  56. poosky
    July 29, 2010

    They key word here is MARRIED.. and in my books, marriage means ‘leave the man alone’ …. Marriage takes over the point that he and his wife does not have a relationship. The fact is he is a married man. This will lead you to destruction.

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