My married life needs excitement

Dear Bella: I have been married for two years. We are both working people with no kids. I feel like things are getting monotonous and I would like advice on some ways I can spice up my relationship.

Young married woman.

Dear young married woman,

It is a fact that relationships bring out the best and worst in us. Men do not like nagging women; try to share a joke with your spouse to lighten up the mood. Seeing as you’re away from each other for the day you can share a ‘sweet’ text message with your husband to put a smile on his face.

Spending a romantic weekend or day at a hotel or guesthouse on the island is a nice way to get out of the routine, as well as taking your intimate sessions to the beach in the evenings or one of the hot spas in the Roseau Valley area.

Getting out more with your partner can also bring some excitement to the relationship. Often when persons get married they tend to get laid back and forget what fun is. There are other activities to excite your intimate life like moonlight walks or even a moonlight dinner on your veranda or yard. Instead of rushing into bed, stimulate each other with a massage and playful activities before getting down to ‘it’ .

Bella.

Do you have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected]. Dear Bella is published every Monday and Friday. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion, and by reading this column you agree to indemnify us from any such liability. We encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.

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38 Comments

  1. ALL THE WAY WITH VICIEZ.
    May 17, 2010

    dominica we be wi.. bella watchin too much tv..viciez real…. ur advice can ignite any man..

  2. J Vidal
    May 8, 2010

    aye …………
    viciez not ez
    luvin d advice

  3. nettanocompetition
    April 28, 2010

    awah wii well said..me mem we all no wat men want and thats a woman that gives him great x.. so let ur self loose and x ur husband till he cah take more. buy u some sexy lingerie and even a few toys…AND THEY SELLING IT IN TOWN TOO SO NO EXCUSE BOUT THEY DONT HAVE THEM HERE.

  4. Muslim_always
    April 27, 2010

    In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

    Allah says in the Holy Quran, ‘Live with them (women) with equity.’ Also, ‘Your wives are garments for you and you are garments for them.’

    The prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be on him and his family) used to race with his wife. When she would drink milk or water, he would drink from the same cup and put his lips were she placed hers. He used to take his wife to watch the ethiopians practice with the spears.

    My dear friends in humanity, Allah has placed love and mercy in your hearts as He said in Quran. You both are married, then enjoy it till death comes. Spice up the marriage, hit the spouse a little slap on the bomsie, cook together, laugh together, tickle each other, live up!

  5. Piper
    April 27, 2010

    That thing about the wife (alone) becoming a born again christian after marriage is definitely a marriage killer. The thing is, they listen to their pastor who tells them they have to put god ahead of everything else, including their husband.

    Some guys likes it whereby it allows them to go out by himself to run their women. Some guys don’t go that route, but badly want to do the things they did together. Either way, as their interests diverge, the marriage goes in only one direction – divorce court. I have seen both and they both ended up in th esame place. Meanwhile the wife hangs on to her religion at the expense of her marriage.

  6. Pollitrickslicking
    April 27, 2010

    I like Viciez’s advice a lot. I believe in that. lol.

    But seriously speaking, people tend to have a mistaken concept of what marriage should be. So, before marriage, the couple goes out to shows even WCK or Triple K, they do spontaneous things together, and as soon as they get married, they tell themselves that ‘that lifestyle’ or ‘those things’ are ‘wrong’ and have to stop.

    Why? If that’s what made you happy as a couple, kept you together and helped the love, why stop it?

    The girl stays home, gets fat, loses her shape, gets grouchy, doesn’t laugh as much, loses her free spirit and suddenly becomes the most devout ‘christian’. Don’t get me wrong, but she no longer does the teasing and naughty things that she did before because she is a ‘wife’.
    The man tends to take things for granted and if the woman does not keep him busy, he may find himself looking out for a ‘young ting’. From there, it is downhill.

    So, my girl, if you are one of those playing that ‘wife’ role that I explained earlier, you and your huzzy need to go back to those good old premarriage days. And if you are putting on weight in the wrong places, it’s gym time. If your shape is still there – time to get youthful again with your relationship.

    And do not forget what ‘VICIEZ” said.

  7. >20 years of blissful marriage
    April 27, 2010

    How do we enjoy 20 years of blissful marriage? (with 4 children)
    Why does it just get better?
    …in successful marriages partners want the best from their partner, so why not give it to them?
    Do onto others as you would like done to you sounds familiar?
    No woman would want to kiss and nibble an ear lobe which has rancid add-ons and unwashed braids, so why think a man would want it as well?
    No one wants to explore, tease and taste dirty body parts so why not use Soap and water?
    Who truly enjoys kissing cheeks and lips caked with make up?
    What is the sense of spending hours by the mirror or hair dresser to impress outsiders when that quality time could be spent investing in intimacy with a married spouse?
    I end by saying its not “TIME IS MONEY”
    Rather It’s “MONEY is TIME”…invest in Quality Time being 100% for each other.
    So go ahead Enjoy your license Blessed by God.

  8. POTTERSVILLE
    April 27, 2010

    no vieiez you have more vybes than bella self lol , no i personally think that people who have this problem just afraid to let go, fraid of what their partner will think but trust me your partner will love you more when you let the freak out .

  9. precious stones
    April 27, 2010

    My sista put Christ first in your marriage and trust me a 360 degree turn around will take place.. When Christ is first you will never lack excitement. He will teach you all the ways to bring life back in the marriage cause he’s the greatest counselor you will ever find or need. . I pray that the fire that once burn bright in your relationship will IGNITE again..

    • Seriously
      April 28, 2010

      precious stone.
      just what advice do you think christ would give to spice up the lady sex life.

  10. Piper
    April 27, 2010

    That woman married only two years and she bored already? Unless something changes, you will not spent 10 years in that relationship or you will horn your husband.
    When I was at that stage of my marriage, you could not pull me and my wife apart. This is not joke, but my honeymoon must have lasted at least 10 years.

  11. April 27, 2010

    eh beh viciez you really have viciez. i agree with your advice 99.99%, de only thing i doh agree with is de Australia business. going down under is not in my books…but who knows, maybe dat is just what that young couple needs to spice up their love life.

    • Handsome 4Fun
      April 27, 2010

      What Australia business you taliking about dehhhh….about going down under….maybe he needs to go down under and see what job needs to be done in Australia…LOL

      • Do say
        April 27, 2010

        Fuh real.

        But what if the trip down under starts to feel monotonous as well? LOL

  12. nectar
    April 27, 2010

    Come See me. I WILL GIVE YOU THE SPICE OF YOUR LIFE. link me @[email protected]

  13. April 26, 2010

    Viciez, uni blag!

    Imagine Just before marriage, things are hot.

    A few months after marrige, things get cold….. Behaving like grandma and grandpa.

    Get out and freeup the body and mind!

  14. princess d12
    April 26, 2010

    well bella,,thats good advice

  15. suggestion
    April 26, 2010

    @VICIEZ..LOVE UR ADVISE, SOMETIMES WE MAKE THINGS TO FORMAL. NOT EVERYONE THAT HAS MONEY TO GO OUT AND RENT AN APARTMENT OR HOTEL ROOM.
    BELL AGIVES GOOD ADVICE BUT U HVE TO CONSIDER THE FINANCIAL SITUATIONN. U CAN STAY IN UR HOUSE AND GET DOWN DIRTY WITH UR HUSSY. ACCORDING TO VICIEZ U ARE NOT ILLEGAL SO NO WORIES BOUT ANY WOMAN CATCHING U WITH THIER MAN, OR HE HAS TO GO BACK HOME TO HIS WIFE.
    GET SOME SEXY CLOTHING, WHILE UR MAN IS AT WORK U SEND HIM SOME REAL FREAKY TEXT, MAKE A DATE WITH HIM TELL HIM MEET U THERE AT A CERTAIN TIME. AND I KNW HE WILL BE WAITING ANXIOUSLY SEE WAT HAPPENS. SET UP A NICE SCENE ON THE BEACH OR IN UR YARD IF U HAVE ONE. GET THE SEXIEST LIGHTEST CLOTHING FROM UR CLOSET, U KNW WAT UR MAN LIKE. BUY A BOTTLE OF WINE AND SOMETHING U COULD USE TO PASS ON HIS BODY WHILE U EXPLORE IT. I
    BABES THER ARE SO MANY THINGS U CAN DO….SUPRISE HIM AT WORK AFTER HOURS, GIVE HIM A SWEET LONG WET KISS MAKE HIM WANT TO COME HOME…TRY HAVING SEX WITHOUT COVERS AND WITH THE LIGHTS ON..TAKE CONTROL FOR A WHILE…TIE HIM ON TH BED AND EXPLORE HIS BODY EVERY INCH OF IT….GIVE HIM A NICE B**J**B. AND GO ONTOP AND LET GO THE BEAST I KNOW U MIGHT HAVE IN U..
    NO SHAME IN BEING A LIL WH***RE IN BED FOR UR HUSBAND…IN BEDROOM THERE IS NO LIMITS, NO BONDARIES..SET URSELF FREE AND DNT BE ASHAME..TRY EVERYTHING ONE..

    • fran
      April 27, 2010

      respect good advice

    • Viciez
      April 27, 2010

      Absolutely!

  16. April 26, 2010

    VICIEZ GIRL? you hit the nail on the head. Missionary style don’t rain no more. I am 67, and I hitting it just like you describe, Husbands like a little kinkiness

  17. April 26, 2010

    Invite the honey man to umpire the sessions cause if i give him out L.BW then i will take aturn at the crease and let him watch me give you a roast duck that will surely motivate him and you all will always have spice in you`ll life till death .

  18. Viciez
    April 26, 2010

    ……..let me handle this one……

    Besides going out with your hubby like all you still dating and doing little outings to the beach and site seeing, my dear you doh have kids, so it means u doh have to ‘volay chance’ to give your man a good legal k**kay. Ok eh my dear pay attention…..first of all if all you making viss everyday after a while, papamet it will get a little monotonous, (twop sucre ka tchway formi) every now and then all you have to cut a little varie…no not vexation you know…. Just practice some abstainance and while you doing that tease your husband, ….after a while is like your husband can literally kidnap your from work to get dat bizniss…….then my dear i hope you have one two little sexy outfit, to surprise your man one night….and is not sweet text you have to send, send a hot, spicy text…a salop text, remember all you legal eh is not children business….

    and if all you always making viss undercover, in nwesseh, well sorry to say it must get monotonous, hopefully de house doh have koolbwah so de table, de counter, de dresser, de front door, de tv stand or de sofa wouldn’t ‘shalviway’ if all you try a little adventure……bella give some nice advice but is not everybody that have guest house money….dominica have so many free secluded spots where a young couple can go and ‘free up’ …sometimes you have to do as if you on discovery channel and give de man a moonlight ‘wuk’….and if you bring him glo chaud, please don’t just sit there like a crapaud and watch him, make it romantic……

    and if you doh have no qualms maybe you can surprise your husband with a visit to “Australia…”. offcourse they like that….anyway i could tell u plenty more….but it does have too many likkle children around here……

    • Anonymous
      April 26, 2010

      viciez.. you know the vibes.. irie

    • YAH
      April 26, 2010

      nice! Bella was too nicely worded and rushed papa, though on the right track.

      ur advice rocks…tucked away for future purposes:)

    • smh
      April 26, 2010

      Zoh..u need to become a marriage consellor..lawd u have tips papa

    • alasss..
      April 27, 2010

      wel said

    • woyyy
      April 27, 2010

      lol…Great advice, I love it!

  19. April 26, 2010
  20. All the way with Bella
    April 26, 2010

    That’s some interesting advice there from Bella so try them out and hopefully they will work for you…. But my God Bella have a very creative mind and I like the way Bella is thinking on that situation.

    Bella I’m a young man who is ready to settle down but with an active, interesting & romantic woman, the way you sound in your advice, seems like you might be the right candidate for me….. could I have your number so we could continue this discussion? Sounds like Bella have a fire waiting to explode dere I wanna be a part of…

    • Viciez
      April 26, 2010

      LOL….Bella 60 years….her fire out long time….lol

      • All the way with Bella
        April 26, 2010

        You must be joking though a 60 year old wud have a lifetime of experience @ dat age, she wud not know about the kind of things Bella is talking about…. Back in the day didn’t have romance like how Bella is preaching it @ all…… Ask your 60 year old granny for advice to spice up ur marriage & none of what Bella is talking about going to come up!!!

        I bet Bella is a sexy young woman who is full of knowledge for sure dats why I wanna hook up with her. Bella I wanna spend a month with you for us to put all of ur advice to work………..

        • Eric Cartman
          April 27, 2010

          lmbao!!!! y’all killing me over here

    • Anonymous
      April 27, 2010

      Allthe way with Bella,
      Bella might just be a man. Remember fella dat was giving advice in de newspaper as a woman? Beware!

  21. Homeboy
    April 26, 2010

    Go to the Bahamas, Barbados, or stay in Domnica and make it happen. Get out of the country and experience a completely different ambience! Initiate the love making, take charge, let go of your inhibitions, get a little wild, have romance all over the house (stIrs, kitchen, table).. You feel me.

    • alasss..
      April 27, 2010

      TRU DAT……I FEEL U

  22. POTTERSVILLE
    April 26, 2010

    Y Y Y Y bella you have vybes man lololol good advise bella lmao

    • Typical Dominican
      April 26, 2010

      lolzzz…u make me laugh

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