Should I get married now?

Dear Bella: I am a 26-year-old male and I’ve been with my girl for eight years now, she is also 26.

Everything is great with us, nothing could feel more right.  We have strong love and trust. We never fight or argue. When we have a problem we talk it out like we have a normal conversation, never letting either of our voices become dominant, and then we try to come to a compromise.

We are not a perfect couple, but we manage to make most things very enjoyable. Our sex life is superb! Never the same place or the same style too often, and it’s so serious sometimes I have to beg for a break because it’s like she works on nuclear power or something.  I came home one time tired and she wanted attention and I told her, just as a joke, if she wants some she can take it while I sleep… and you wouldn’t believe she actually tried it! I only felt her hands all over me.

What I want to know is if you think I should marry her now at this age. I’ve already bought the ring, but I felt like it was somewhat too soon because I wanted to finish school, and get my BA.  I’ve only achieved my Associates so far, and you know kids and other little issues would kind of put a hold on your goals. At the rate we are moving now kids will come because she is already saying her eggs are getting too old.

I love her with everything and I don’t want to push my luck and lose her for a selfish reason because I don’t believe in engaging someone and waiting two years to get married.

Dear Sir: Life doesn’t come to a halt once you get married. If you have to wait until everything is in order in your life before you take the plunge, then it will never happen.

There is no reason why you can’t continue your degree after the wedding. If your girlfriend is as reasonable as you said she is, she will support and encourage you in your endeavors whether or not you have kids.

You have found something good in your relationship with this woman, by your own admission you have been with her for eight years and you still enjoy her company.

While you sit around pondering your next move, she may get tired of waiting and move on. She has already indicated that she is ready to move to the next level by telling you that her eggs are getting old.

You have already purchased the ring, so what are you waiting for?

Bella
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19 Comments

  1. cookoon satti
    March 18, 2010

    Why buy the cow and give the cow legal rights when you can get fasheen free or on the cheap? you say the fasheen is good and all that. you have been living in sin for so long if you now decide to do the “right thing” I bet you trouble will surface.

    My advice is for you to shock the woman and tell her you all need to break up for a while while you think through your life. Tell her if it is to be you all can get together again.

    If both of you can remain apart and not roll in the grass with any other beast that comes along, then you belong together.

    By shacking together and living lavee sodom you have brought curse on your relationship. Break the curse by giving your things” time to heal.

    Women who marry after being been strung along for years take revenge after they get the ring. Watch out for that first boyfriend of hers. What? You thought because you took her at 18 you were the first?

  2. q
    February 17, 2010

    it sounds like a good idea to start thinking down that line, however getting married is one but maintaining is another, at 26 you both have just started enjoying you youth and enjoying a bit of freedom from parents, i thing you two should continue building that relationship and making it stronger for a few more years, if you think that you 2 are enjoying real love from each other then there should be no problems in waiting remember marriage is a life long commitment and u need to be sure of it.

  3. Young Man in Dominica
    February 17, 2010

    My boy dont lose that woman good women dont come along to often

  4. February 17, 2010

    26 years old and she thinks her eggs are getting too old?! LOL! Now I’ve heard everything. Sounds a bit like she’s pressuring you to hurry up. The fact is, the better educated you are, the better is your earning potential, and the better you will be able to take care of your children when they come along. I say, go for your B.A. first. She herself should try to educate herself too, by the way.

    • air head
      February 22, 2014

      there’s no pressure here! she do ryt! eight years together and yet still she’s patient! ONE CAN ONLY BE PATIENT FOR SO LONG! ring her i say!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. February 16, 2010

    My brother, Educate yourself first now. Any time you think of marriage,
    is family, is children, is problem, is a set back. Finish your degrees,
    get qualified, which leads too a better income then married.

  6. american empress
    February 16, 2010

    cb cuz, i m just trying to mess with you head, i know you good person with good advise,
    and you are right i miss being in d/ca for carnival one love okay ?

  7. Mentally Disturbed
    February 16, 2010

    Marry the girl charlie
    marry the gurl charlie!!!!!!!!!!!

    Charlie oh, just make de wedding plans
    don’t take chance losing a good woman
    whateva u do, good luck 2 u
    hope she want to marry u too

  8. blackberry356
    February 16, 2010

    That’s sweet! go for it ma boy. It look like you both have a good thing going. You can hold back on the kids for now after you get your BA.

  9. bigmama
    February 16, 2010

    u have it all u just go for it my boy when u have problem and can talk about it thats deh major thing about it

  10. isdat
    February 16, 2010

    That’s sweet! go for it ma boy

  11. February 16, 2010

    thats the best position to consider marriage,you have met the ideal lady go for it

  12. JJ
    February 15, 2010

    Dont take tings for granted, if you believe she is the one marry her, if you wait till everything is in order then you might lose her,

  13. CB CUZ
    February 15, 2010

    @EMPRESS america
    wat do you want me to say? d man have a good woman giving sex on demand yet he is worried about making a commitment. So he is wasting our time we need juicy stuff to give some doctor phil advice to not some scary mamas boy. and by the way EMPRESS i love carnival but i just dont like the stepping on my toes..and o i think you jus jealous because you not here for carnival.

  14. N♥
    February 15, 2010

    LOL, everyone is angry because the young man doesn’t have PROBLEMS…lol. My advice is the same as bella. From what you’ve said, you 2 are very lucky to have found eachother in this ‘not -so-love-lucky-world’. I see only good after your marriage. You can continue with your goals, and take the precautions that you are currently taking if you feel that you are not ready for kids. In 2 yrs, she will be 28 and that is still a healthy age for a woman to conceive.

    Congrats! Do It!

  15. HMMMM(1) the psychic
    February 15, 2010

    Oh please stop wasting people’s time and get on with the marriage. You guys have been together for 8yrs , I don’t see marriage as an obstacle in obtaining your goals. What if she were to get pregnant whilst you are not yet married….will you discontinue going to school or are you going to love her less? Get married so you will get more blessings from God.

  16. oh ok
    February 15, 2010

    Good advice CB CUZ. Its good to have her there when u need her for sex and to meet all ur emotional and physical needs, is tat selfishness i am hearing, i dont thnk i am ready,,,,, i need my Ba , am two young, bla bla bla me! me! me! Common good woman is hard to find so grab her like she good gold and take the lady to the alter plz dont be selfish.

  17. EMPRESS america
    February 15, 2010

    CB CUZ
    YOU MUST NOT HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN DOMINICA , IT IS CARNIVAL TIME , GO ENJOY YOURSELF AND STOP ACTING PROFESSIONAL, YOU KNOW YOU DONT HAVE IT IN YOU , YOUR ADVISE SUCKS.

  18. CB CUZ
    February 15, 2010

    Boy it seems you have everything figured out already so why a you bothering bella and us for? Eight years is a long time so marry the girl give her wat she wants and when you and she start having problem come back so we can give you some excellent advice. TILL NEXT TIME go ahead marry the girl it seems that she is the right one for you….(actually, hope we never hear form you again..meaning GOOD LUCK)

    I’M WAITING!!!!

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