There’s this girl that I met online couple of months ago, and she has a boyfriend.
As girls we exchanged numbers so we could always communicate with each other.
One day we started making jokes about lesbians and then she told me, “honestly I love you. You sound like a cool girl and I want you to be my girlfriend even if I have a boyfriend.”
She went on to say that whatever belongs to her, also belongs to me.
I was kind of surprised but I agreed to be her girlfriend because I love her and she began treating me better than all the guys that I have been with.
Her boyfriend also agreed to the arrangement and began joining us in everything, including in bed.
The relationship is going just fine but what bothers me is that her boyfriend pays more attention to me than to her.
It ends up that her boyfriend and I do a lot of things, including intimate things, together.
I love them both but whenever she see me with him, she gets mad. She keeps on telling me that she loves me so much and why I am not paying attention to her.
To tell the truth, I really love them both and I don’t want this relationship to end.
So I am stuck her my girlfriend and her boyfriend.
What should I do?
Confused with Love
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Dear Confused with Love,
First of all, let us not confuse sex with love. This engagement that you have entered into is just a fulfillment of uncontrolled desires.
The three of you are now living a life that many people fantasize about but will not dare to utter.
The root of your problem is the lack of self-control. The boyfriend is happy to have two girls in a relationship and neither is throwing stones at each other.
They can even love each other. You and your female friend are different hence he will always appreciate what one does to the what the other does.
Why don’t you pair yourself with someone where there is no conflict of love interest? With someone where you will not have to be torn because you are in love with two persons?
Bella
Have a problem? Write to Dear Bella at [email protected] or [email protected]. Dear Bella is published on Tuesdays. All letters are subject to editing and the editor has the right to not publish an article if it does not meet the company’s editorial standards. Also, the advice given is not necessarily expert advice, and is basically an opinion, therefore we accept no liability that result from giving any opinion. As such we encourage you to seek the advice of a professional counselor.
boy ……bella u have a kix eh !!! jah no no no no no …waw ….what!!! dat one tek me …. ya
Rev.donald hill i wonder wa u doin wit ur time u dere on bella colum leave that for the sinners and ppl who like to indulge in mele thats not ur departmen when ppl want ur godly advise they will see u on the alter on in ur office like the church members wives
He is there to give advice when and wherever he sees it fit!!
niggaz still balling ,
Ewwwww
Girl u a heaux
Nasty set of people oh. My god!!
Bella makes up those stories herself…I’m totally convinced now…
Perhaps some. Not all!
Many readers have a problem believing that there are such sick people in the world.
There are!
There are worse than anything you have seen yet in BELLA’S Column.
It’s just scary when you realize situations like this exist in your own country (and in mine).
The answer is not found in humanistic counseling or a secular application of psychology. The answer – the only answer – is Jesus Christ and His gospel.
Christ is still the healer of sin sick minds and broken hearts. He is able to deliver those who have been taken captive by the enemy of their souls. Demons flee at the mention of His name!
People need to face the truth that their problem is sin. Stop blaming somebody else. It’s not your parent’s fault even if they made glaring mistakes. It’s not how you were raised even if wolves could have done better. It’s the fact that you have broken Gods’s laws and sinned against Him.
Christ died for our sins on the cross and rose again. (1 Corinthians 15:3,4) We must believe this, St. John 3:16,17, ((Acts 16:30), (Romans 5:1), and receive Him as our Savior. (St. John 1:11,12) (Revelation 3:20)
We need to surrender our lives to Christ according to Romans 12:1,2 and He will begin the work of changing us from the inside out!
God has a blueprint for your life! Those who follow it are living an abundant life. It is those who are not who are writing to BELLA, going to counselors, or in therapy. The worse cases are in mantal hospitals or jails.
I invite you to visit my website
http://www.livinghopeministries.ca
Click onto SERMONS. Then click onto the sermon THE NEW BIRTH.
Then click onto THE EAGLE COURSE. It is a 12 Lesson Workbook Manual. It can be studied from the commputer screen OR copied ABSOLUTELY free!
Join new believers aound the world on this exciting faith journey who are doing THE EAGLE COURSE!
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
baby love u cannot have best of both world. look for your man …
Change these monogamous laws to polygyny
Hey I’m simply having a laugh so don’t take this seriously
Is that a Dominica story? You said u met the woman online.
Oh my. Such Crap.
That is the life that people live in 2013?
I am scared for my children!
u just have to teach ur children to value themselves and the morals of life
Seems to me that the girl intention was to find a lesbian to have a three sum with her and her man, ain’t nothing bout love. The girl just getting jealous now cause her man giving you more attention and maybe it’s cause you do ‘it’ better. My advise to you: GET OUT of this mess while you can.
There is nothing about “love” in any of this kind of behavior.
Don’t try to make anything about homosexuality look loving or romantic.
Many homosexual men in the large North American cities cruise the streets, parks, bars, and baths looking for an encounter that lasts long enough to give them a quick biological release. They are not even looking for a “one night stand”. They are looking for somebody to go into the bushes or slip into the washroom with. Often they never get the person’s name. If they met them on the street the next day it’s doubtful if they’d recognize them.
Yes, straight people sometimes “cruise” to pick up partners for a quick encounter. But this is expectional except for prostitutes and those who do business with them. It is not part of the straight lifestyle. It is very much part of the gay lifestyle.
A homosexual man or a lesbian will sit in a gay bar trying to make eye contact with somebody or hoping the right person walks in to make their evening. These encounters seldom amount to long term relationships nor are they intended to. I have seen studies showing many homosexuals having two or three hundred sexual partners. One man who was an airline steward infected well over 200 male partners with AIDS from coast to coast in America by having unprotected sex AFTER he learned he had tested positive! (Imagine the romance!) A priest in Germany sexually abused well over 200 boys – many of them multiple times. (Imagine the love!) Before sombody lets out a howl
that there is no connection between homosexuality and pedophilia let me say this. I have seen studies and stats showing that pedophilia is three (3) times more common among homosexuals than among heterosexual taking into consideration that only 3% of the population is homosexual. I am not talking about one isolated study or one isolated set of stats. There is much data from a variety of sources agreeing to these facts.
Not all homosexual men intentionally spread AIDS by unprotected sex. Not all are pedophiles. But when you understand that approx 3% of the population are homosexuals and then look at these (and other) statistics you will realize that this type of behavior is far more often found in homosexuals.
Homosexuals seem to care very little about “that one particular person”. Since same sex marriages have become legal in some countries more homosexuals are realizing the advantage of having a regular partner – somebody who is available when they need them – and we’re seeing more “live-in” arrangements. These relationships tend to be less monogamous, shorter lived, and produce more domestic violence.
Don’t mistake “togetherness” for genuine romance or legitimate love. Once the bond is formed the two realize in spite of how broadminded the community around them pretends to be their relationship is NOT accepted. They are held together by the “we-against-them syndrome and they stay together (if they do stay together)because there is nobody else for either of them.
One would have to look close to see anything “romantic” or “loving” about the three person tangle in this letter. It is not what my wife and I experienced during our 15 month courtship and have continued to experience during our 50 plus years of marriage! It is not what either of us saw in the marriages of our parents both of which lasted over 50 years “til death did them part”.
Sincerely, Rev. Donand Hill, D.D., Pentecostal Evangelist.
mais sa moi ka tan la nor
You watching too much Jerry Springer!!!
Jerry uses the moral sickness of society to entertain people who either identify with the characters or enjoy that filth. He highlights the worse cases. Of course he does this to keep his ratings up because there are enough people out there who want that type of entertainment.
I have heard that Jerry is a former lawyer and has served as a mayor. This is a man who could do much better.
I often wonder how many of his viewers know that Jesus Christ came to seek and to save that which is lost and that God will forgive, deliver, and completely change any of those people who will believe in Him and receive Him as their personal
Savior and Lord.
Jesus said, “I am the door; by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved,…” (St. John 10:9)
Then the Bible says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he shall be a new creation: old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
This is because “…Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;” (1 Corinthians 15:3
and the Bible says, “…the blood of Jesus Christ (God’s) Son cleanseth us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)
This salvation is a gift. It cannot be earned by works or bought with money! It is free because it was paid for when Christ died on the cross. It is IN Him. We receive it by receiving Christ!
The Bible declares, “And this is the record, that God has given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son has life; and he that hath not the son of God hath not life.” (1 John 5:11,12)
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
what the??? :o
dear young lady my advise to you is to give your heart to Jesus Christ before time changes into eternity for you.the word of God says what will it profit a man to gain the world and loss his soul.my dear young lady a life of abomination will only lead to eternity in hell.ask the lord to have mercy on your soul and turn to him while you still have breath tomorrow might be too late!!
Confuse with Demons , please take hid to what pastor Hill said to you, because it is the truth and the only truth is in the word of God, Jesus is the one that can set you free, go to Him, You have been sleeping with demons my dear.
Jesus can do nothing for her just as he did nothing for sanctimonious hypocrites
Didn’t someone got murdered over two (2) weeks ago over a menage a trois? It was on the evening news,the guy got killed because the woman brought another woman to spice things up and she was left out in the cold.
I do not have anything bad to say, if this letter is not ficticious it seems to me that you are having doubts or you are out of balance with the decision you made.Try figuring which one it is and come to a solution because the longer you stay the more difficult it will be.
Those thinking it is not happening in Saint Dominica,think again you will be surprised.All I do is say a pray and hope .
All I can is, they are sick, sick, sick, morally and spiritually. Sickos!
Think of your future as you age and what will happen to you then and in eternity if you continue this immorality. Change your lifestyle before it is too late.
May God have mercy on you, the other woman and that man.
is that some kinda makeup story to catch our interest??
Unfortunately these stories are more often true than not. They are symptomatic of the human condition in these the closing days of time.
When people reject the Bible as the Word of God and refuse to accept it as the final authority – not only for faith – but for human behavior – they get their lives in one terrible mess.
There is a line by us unseeen
that crosses every path.
It is the boundary line
between God`s mercy and His wrath.
Both the Bible and secular history shows that a nation or even a civilization can cross a line into a condition of such moral chaos that there is no turning back. Some DNO readers will not be able to shut thir computers off before they have typed in their comments mocking me. Remember, the Sodomites also mocked, and fed the flames.
Not all church goers are Christians. Getting your name in the church membership book does not make you a Christian any more than writing your name on a barn door turns you into a donkey But if you look you will see a difference between those who have been truly born again and those who live as if God has no right to tell them how to live.
The Bible gives us a picture of the fallen broken condition of the human race in Romans 1:21-31 and Romans 3:10-19. It also shows that the condition of society will get worse in the last days before Christ returns in Matthew 24:12,and 2 Timothy 3:1-7.
Unless there is a revival of the PREACHING of moral righteousness and PRACTICE of New Testament Christianity the increase of evil will escalate until God destroys whole nations that have chosen to forget Him. This sounds like jugment. No, it is mercy! God does this to save the people of those nations from themselves, and their future generations from an even worse fate.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
Rev. Donald Hill December 10, 2013
Rev. Hill you mentioned the Book of Romans, but the whole message of the Bible is the message of Life.
When God commanded the people of Israel to write down, that their children might be informed, it was because He new that ancient Israel would fail–just as they did, through their disobedient attitude.
Our duty today, as we claim the Title of Christianity, is to learn from the mistakes of God’s chosen people of old–the Israelites–but how can we learn when we have rejected the message of Life from the Holy Bible.
Confused:
Without the Word of God (the Bible) to guide your life you are like a traveler without map or a sailor without a compass.
Any sexual relatinship between two people who are not legally married to each other is a sin in God’s sight. The Bible calls sex between two single people “fornication”. It says “…they that do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of heaven.” (Galatians 5:19-21)
The only true and valid marriage is the union of one man with one woman for as long as they both shall live. God has given us the one and only model or pattern for marriage in Matthew 19:4-6. No other relationship qualifies as a marriage.
Unfortuntely people call those of us who believe the Bible and follow the laws God has given us for our own good “old fashioned” or worse still “religious fanatics”. But Confused, here is the reality. We are not the ones who are writing to Bella, or seeing counselors, or going into therapy, or filling the divorce courts.
The Bible also forbids sex between two people of the same gender (homosexuality or lesbianism.) Your relationship with the woman is a sin. Even if it was only you and her it would be a sin. Again the Bible says “..they that do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of heaven.” (Romans 1:26-27) (1 Corinthians 6:9,10) (1 Timothy 1:9,10) (Jude vs. 7)
Now for the two of you to bring a third party (her boyfriend) into the mix is adding sin to sin and multiplying your guilt.
You need to ask yourself why a woman would go on the internet trolling for another woman. It may be that you would not have defined yourself as a lesbian but there had to be something within you that was inclinded towards that behavior. This made it easy for you to fall into that lifestyle when the opporunity came along.
It is that tendancy within us that comes from the depraved nature we have all received from Adam that causes us to go astray. It affects each of us differently. But we all have sinned and need the Savior. Christ died on the cross not only to save us. He died to provide spiritual AND physical healing. He died to heal us from every type of physical compulsion and malfunction that is the result of wrong thinking. Please take your Bible and find the Book of Isaiah in the Old Testament. Read Isaiah 53:5,6. Then go to the New Testament. Read St. Matthew 8:14-17. Now read Hebrews 13:8.
Young lesbians sometimes have a boyfriend to hide their homosexuality from their family and friends. It is not unusual for the man to be gay or bi (somebody who swings both ways) so the girl is serving a social need in his life as well.
Confused, you are on the threshold of a destructive lifestyle. Homosexuals have more mental health issues, a higher rate of alcoholism, a higher suicide rate, more sexually tranmitted diseases including AIDS, and a shorter lifespan. They have a more difficult time forming lasting relationships. As they get older it becomes difficult to find partners and loneliness sets in.
Now is the time to turn things around. God will forgive you and give you a new beginning if you (1) will confess your sins (to Him), and (2) believe that Jesus Christ died for yours sins, and rose again, and (3) Receive Him as your Savior! Please check out the following scriptures:
(Romans 3:10,23) (1 Corinthians 15:3,4) (Acts 16:31,) (Ephesians 2:8,9) (Revelation 3;20)
I invite you to visit my website
http://www.livinghopeministries.ca
Click onto the EAGLE COURSE: a 12 Lesson Workbook Manual. It can be studied from the screen OR copied absolutely free! The very first lesson will tell you how to receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and begin an exciting new life.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
Noting wrong with this… they are grown !!
Nothing right about it. They are going to be grown people in hell unless they repent.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill
Rev I think you are already in hell
lol not a thing… she knows just what to do. no advice needed.
The story reads as follows. ‘I’m nasty and I met a girl that nasty too and she has a boyfriend that like nasty girls and we all do nasty things together. sometimes he’s nastier with me that with her but if she loves my nastiness so much why is she mad when i’m being nasty isn’t that to be expected. please help me in my nastiness i just not sure which one of us is nastier me or her?
haha u just crack me up lol…. very funny
@ UDOHREADYET, you made me laugh bonche’ there..you need to help BELLA out on that one…but question would like a little taste of their foolishness…and maybe give us the next chapter? that I would really like to read….your audience awaits…
lmao.thats the best
Best response ever.
When nice people do bad things they become nasty. Nasty people attract nasty people to themselves. They do more nasty things and become even nastier. After a while nice people don’t want to be around them. They grumble about people who are nice discriminating against them. Then they want to decriminalize their nastiness because they want equal rights with those who are nice.
They claim nobody has a right to tell them they have to be nice because they were born nasty and it’s who they are.
It is time people made up their minds whether they want to be nice or nasty because nice people are not going to pretend nasty people are nice. Those who do nasty things are always going to be treated like nasty people.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
Lol that one crack me.up.bad m
most of these comments are funny i must say, but in my opinion, a young woman who respects herself will not put her self in a situation like dis.
Tamar: This is absolutely true. It raises a couple questions.
(1) Was this young lady taught self respect by her parents?
(2) If not what kind of mother did she have?
(3) If she was taught self respect what happened to it? What strange twist did her young life take for her to either (a) not accept it or (b) lose it?
I believe there is another factor at play in some of these cases. Some abnormal sexual behavior can be attributed to the influence of demons. Once the “victim” reaches the stage where they say they cannot break free it may be a case of demon possesson.
There is a real need for pastors to preach the full gospel and let people know that there is deliverance and freedom to be had in Christ! Not every pastor has a deliverance ministry. But I would hope those who don’t would graciously recognize their limitions (as some do) and invite pastors and evangelists who are used by God in deliverance to their churches to share their ministries. I say this because I am personally seeing an increasing need for true deliverance ministry. It is not for novices and it can be dangerous. But it is a valid ministry. There are servants of God who are very effective at pulling down the strongholds of satan and setting the captives free.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
All i can say is INSANE! Get to know GOD and get yourself out of this before you condemn yourself even more.
Insane
There are shades of mental illness in homosexuality. It shows its presence in various ways.
Homosexuals have more mental health issues than srtaight people.
The following statement comes from a man who was a
psycho-therapist specializing in same sex relationships for many years.
`Thus, an objective study of full fledged lesbians (as well as of fixed homosexuals) would show that many or most of them are not merely neurotic, but are actually borderline or outright psychotics.`
Written by Albert Ellis, Ph.D. in the Introduction to THE LESBIAN IN AMERICA, by Donald Webster Cory.
It is important that those who are involved in homosexuality – especially if they are young people on the verge of the lifestyle be encouraged to pull back from this unclean practice that can cause progressive mental or psychlogical problems.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
its either you are lucky or you are confused
It’s seems like the swinger-lifestile just reach in Dominica
In Denmark, thats part of everdaylife, Alot of household got an extra man or women.
heyyyy now there’s a person who is alive here. it aint that big of a deal in a lot of developed countries. this here is just a surfacing of it in the public eye is all. this society is repressed and taboo. time to free up.
Get away from this abominable act while you still can.
Dawg you a one lucky mofo ….. years I wishing to find 2 woman capable of doing that….
Shout outz to the young brother getting in on da action. #keepitpimpin
@ admin DNO. I really don’t believe these ficticious stories. I strongly believe that people are just sitting and making up those nasty stories.
I don’t believe that any young woman with class would sit and write this . Do u mean that we have been upgraded to this level of nastiness in this beautiful country called Dominica. I am 856. I have 3 daughters, 2 sons and 17 grand children. Lord Jesus protect them from this nastiness in this life
I meant I am 66
ADMIN: You are 66 and your post had such indecent language that we had to clean it up? You are you aren’t fictitious?
DNO correction she is 856 years…is that part of the correction? or just a mathematical error….just asking..
Oh shut up, its 2013 and you don’t know that there is a lifestyle thats called swinging??
What about groupsex?
Your eyes will pop out, if you see 10 people having sex in the same room
You think because there is so much of this vileness it must be O.K.?
There is also a lot of suicides and in some counties the rate increases year after year.
Look at the increase in drug abuse. Government officials say we are losing the war against drugs.
Consider the spread if AIDS. In some cuntries it is called an epidemic.
We are seeing a increase in depression in some nations.
Bullying, murder, and violence are on the increase
world wide.
Does this make these things good, like you want them in Dominica?
Some of the arguments you use in favor of sexual perversion causes me to question your level of intelligence and the extent of your education. You have a “right” to your opinion but please try to be objective and show that you have some terms of reference if you even know what these things mean.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Pentecostal Evangelist.
I think there will be a special place in hell for Bella.Bella stop making this stuff up and get a life.
I once thought Bella was a real person on the staff of DNO.
But now I have followed this column and compared the style of the Bella columns long enough that I expect staff members take turns writing the questions and answers. Some letters are real but I suspect some are made up.
Many of the questions are so sick they accurately reflect Dominican society and I believe them even if many Dominicans don’t want to. Saddest of all are the troubled young people who have lost their way before they even found it.
What is needed are faithful pastors who let young people know sex outside marriage is a sin
and they can live pure. You need Spirit filled churches with power packed worship where young people can experience the joy of the Lord and the excitement of serving Him.
Sincerely, Rev. Donald Hill. Evangelist.
hmmm, granny boy… If you had to know what going on in the world today you would get an instant heart attack. Best you believe dem ting there not true, cuz what ya don’t know won’t hurt you. I wish overseas people was doing what these people doing, but they doing far, far worst.
yesssss iiiiiiiiiiii that has always been my dream glad to hear someone else living the life.my only advise to this girl is dont fall in love its just sex
Any space for one more? I will give his girlfriend the attention for him
You not stuck, you like your mess. So enjoy it.